A New Normal
by kdzl
Summary: JJ's life changed forever when she was kidnapped during a case in Nebraska.  Now, after three years they've found her, but working towards a new normal will be harder than any of them thought.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **This is a story about the emotional fallout after a horrific experience. For JJ, this experience was very long. My point in writing this is that often times while the traumatic event ends, the emotional baggage that goes along with it takes a lot longer to get over. I hope you'll enjoy this story, if not then don't read. Let me know if you'd prefer shorter chapters, but updated more often, or longer chapters and updated once every week or two.

__

Warnings: This story will contain references to traumatic events. The situations depicted in this story may be horrific, but similar to most of my other stories I will in no means engage in graphic descriptions in an attempt to disturb you or make you feel squeamish. There will be references to situations involving rape, gang rape, torture, starvation, suicide, and more. While I will not graphically describe most of these situations, the emotional fall-out will be immense. As such, I've decided to rate this as mature. The "M" rating is just to be safe, but there will be complex emotions for many of the characters to deal with.

Disclaimer: I don't own CM.

* * *

"Director Strauss, Aaron Hotchner is here." The secretary announced as she ushered Hotch into the Director's office.

"SSA Hotchner, please have a seat. How was the funeral?" Erin Strauss pointed to the chair across from her desk without looking up from the file labeled SSA Jennifer Jareau—MISSING.

Since being appointed Director of the FBI, her former detest for the members of the BAU was immediately forgotten. Sometimes, Hotch wondered if she were more interested in finding JJ than he was.

And that was nearly impossible.

"It was a lovely service. David and Becky Jareau were kind people, they'll be sorely missed." Hotch nodded politely, hoping he didn't already know where this conversation was headed.

"And their deaths were completely accidental?" She asked, still not looking up from the file. "Agent Jareau has been missing for three years, it does seem suspicious-"

"A full investigation was launched." Hotch interrupted quickly. "There was absolutely no evidence of foul play. Icy roads and poor visibility caused them to slide off the road. Both of them died on impact." Hotch grimaced at the thought of the demise of two people he had come to greatly respect over the last three years. Hotch and Jack had become regular sights at the Jareau family gatherings, he and his son drawing closer to JJ's parents as Hotch continued the search for their missing daughter. Will had welcomed the additional company, and JJ's entire family seemed starved for any morsel of information they could glean about JJ's case.

"Good." Strauss nodded, lost in some tidbit inside the file he knew all too well.

Holding his breath, he prayed that this was not another lead—at least, not another lead that led to him trying to identify a cold body on a steel slab. "I assume you called me in here for—"

"We've got another possible in Southeastern Arizona. Crossroads Mercy Hospital reported a woman in her mid to late thirties admitted into the ER for injuries consistent with a car accident an hour ago." Director Strauss handed the paperwork over to him. "I assume you and Agent Prentiss will be taking the jet as soon as possible?"

Hotch nodded, groaning inwardly. At first, these leads were the only source of hope in a dismal situation, but now—he had spent too long getting his hopes up, only to be relieved when it wasn't her. But that relief came at a price. Every trip to ID another body wore on his already threadbare strands of hope. But every lead...every miniscule chance that it could be her...sometimes that was all that let him sleep at night

Furrowing his brow as he read the report, he made to leave—hoping to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Oh, and Agent Hotchner?" Director Strauss stopped him before he opened the door. "This one is alive."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: **IMPORTANT-**just fyi, there is a lot of Spanish in this story. When Spanish phrases are used, I've used Google Translate to ensure the right meaning. My Spanish is limited, so I'm going with the translation from Google. If something's off, let me know, but I generally try and explain what's being said. Also, most of the time I'll cheat and just have it in English, but say they said it in Spanish. Sometimes, I'll forget though, but you'll catch on.

* * *

Hotch nodded at Emily as she boarded the plane, his phone pressed closely to his ear. "Yeah, Will, it's me. I was wondering if you could pick Jack up from school until Jessica gets off work." He paused for a minute as the other man spoke. "It's just a case at the last minute, shouldn't take longer than today." Pausing again, he smiled softly. "Thanks Will."

Ending the call, he felt the pit in his stomach deepen as he thought of the other little boy that was motherless due to his mistake. Henry was in Kindergarten now, any memories of his mother long forgotten—all because he hadn't done enough.

"Did you call Garcia?" Emily asked as soon as she could tell he was off the call.

"I talked to Kevin, asked him to keep her away from electronics for the next 24 hours. If it's a false alarm—" He trailed off, not needing to explain the ramifications of what another false alarm would mean.

Emily nodded quickly. "That was hard on all of us." She murmured agreeing with him entirely. Both she and Hotch were consumed with guilt from the memory their mistake caused Penelope so much pain. After JJ's disappearance, Garcia's life had quickly become obsessed with finding JJ—and the false identification Hotch and Emily made several years ago had almost crippled the eclectic tech.

Hotch grimaced, lost in his own memory. Holding the file out to her, she simply waved him off. "I think I have it memorized by now." She smiled apologetically.

Hotch nodded, he too having long ago memorized every fact contained in the file.

"How many more of these are we going to do?" Emily spoke to herself softly as she looked out her own window. "It's been three years."

"I could take someone along with me if you'd like." Hotch said coldly, his tolerance snapping almost immediately. "I'd hate for this to be too much for you Agent Prentiss."

"I've been to just as many of these as you have." She retorted curtly, slightly chagrined she had voiced her thoughts aloud. She bit her tongue forcefully as she tried to control her emotions, remembering a promise she had made to Derek to try and not goad Hotch into an argument. Sighing, she explained, "I just don't know how many more of these I can take."

Hotch's eyes hardened quickly, "I'll remember that next time you're handed over to a major drug lord."

Emily whipped around quickly, her lips tightening quickly as her resolve flew out the window. "Don't you _dare_ suggest that I don't feel guilty." She snapped, pointing her finger with emphasis. "I still dream about it. You weren't there." She accused.

Hotch shot back quickly, "No, I wasn't there. Maybe if I had been, things would have turned out differently."

Instantly remorseful as he saw her face drain of all color, he cringed when he realized he had pushed a little too far. "Prentiss, I'm sorry." He shook his head as he realized that maybe Dave had been right in telling him that he needed to give Emily the benefit of the doubt.

She held up her hand angrily. "Don't. Just—Don't." She sat back horrified as the memories, usually reserved for her nightmares, flooded back into her mind.

_The gun pointed at JJ gleamed in the moonlight. In another situation, Emily may have even stopped to notice the way the stars lit up the sky here in an open field in the middle of Nebraska._

_"You talk. I shoot you." The man with the gun poked the gun into the soft flesh of JJ's cheek. "¿Comprende?"_

_JJ nodded, obviously fighting to control her emotions. Emily stood frozen, but one look from the men that ambushed them deep in the cornfield made her nod to show her understanding. She glanced down at the phone she had been forced to drop mid-sentence, hoping that Derek realized something was wrong._

_"¡Este no era el plan!" The man standing in front of JJ shouted, pulling at the gun in the larger man's hands. Emily felt a surge of gratitude that they were speaking a language she understood._

_"We'll take one of the women to pay our debt." The second man suggested in Spanish, both men blissfully unaware that one of their captives understood them perfectly. Emily cringed. Ransom? If they were looking for ransom for either of them, Emily was willing and ready to pay it. _

_Forcing herself not to look at the men who were speaking, she felt a pang of terror for her friend that obviously had no idea what was happening. JJ's eyes studied the gun burried in the soft flesh of her cheeks. If she wasn't stuck up against a wall with her hands above her head while these thugs pointed a gun in her friend's face, she might be able to do something. Right now, she was stuck._

_"But he told us to bring him money or drugs. Will he take a woman as payment?" The second man asked. _

_"Of course, idiot. Either woman is beautiful, one should satisfy the debt." The man with the gun nodded, turning to his younger, shorter companion, he added, "But we only need one."_

_"What do we do with the other one?" The shorter man asked._

_"Leave her to the coyotes." The first man sneered. "Now, which one do we take?" _

_"I saw her on TV." The second man pointed at JJ. "She's probably worth more."_

_"We'll take the blonde" The first spoke decisively. In one swift motion, he moved the gun from JJ's face and swung it around, smacking JJ alongside her left temple with a resounding thud. _

_Emily didn't even have time to move before the first man clubbed the gun against the side of her head, immediately covering Emily's world in darkness._

"Prentiss, I'm sorry." Hotch insisted again. Seeing that she refused to answer, he added. "This is the last one, I promise."

"I want to find her too, Hotch." She insisted softly, the coldness in her voice easily detectable. "I just don't think I can do this anymore."

"I know." He sighed as he looked out the window. How had it all come to this?

* * *

_Author's Note/Translation: __¡Este no era el plan!-This was not the plan_


	3. Chapter 3

Flashing his badge to the nurse behind the admitting desk, he immediately got down to business. "SSAs Hotchner and Prentiss," he announced, "We were notified of a patient you had matching the description of a person of interest with the FBI."

"Alejandra." The nurse nodded, and stood to escort them back. "Exam Room 3."

Hotch nodded at Prentiss's quirked eyebrow. _Alejandra?_ In all actuality, both agents knew the likelihood of JJ being found alive was less than one percent. While both hoped for a happier outcome, neither expected it.

Especially after hundreds of visits to morgues around the country attempting to identify the body of their dear friend.

"What'd she do?" The nurse asked after a moment. "We got the hit off the national list, but it didn't say what she did."

Neither agent offered any sort of explanation, long ago finding that giving in to a Gossip's desire for information didn't help anything along.

The nurse prodded gently. "We figured it'd have to be something big-like killing someone, or maybe robbing a bank."

Hotch groaned, annoyed with this woman's incessant attempt to glean information from them. "I don't see how that's any of your business." He retorted.

"We're looking for a federal agent that went missing." Emily informed her, well used to the same script they somehow managed to say at each identification. Once she and Hotch switched lines—that had confused her for weeks.

"And you think Alejandra off'ed him? Had something to do with it?" The nurse postulated.

"We follow every lead, ma'am." Hotch said half-heartedly, not bothering to correct her as he rolled his eyes.

The nurse gestured to the window where the agents would be able to see Alejandra. Both Emily and Hotch stopped dead in their tracks, neither believing the sight in front of them. Emily felt her jaw drop, "Is that—" Though the woman was battered, bruised, and was obviously thinner, there was no mistaking the resemblance.

"JJ." Hotch whispered, his eyes widening. "It's JJ."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: **_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or alerted this story. I let this chapter run a little long because I'll be gone most of this weekend. Hope it satisfies! Most of the chapters won't be this long, for the simple reason that I can update more frequently if they're shorter. I only had one reviewer that told me they prefered short-quick updates, so I'm going with that unless someone else tells me different._

* * *

Seeing the federal agents, the blonde cuffed to the bed pulled frantically at the restraint. "I didn't do anything wrong." She pleaded in Spanish to an orderly who ignored her, checked her chart, and left the room without a word. "Please—" She called after him in Spanish, "Manuel will be looking for me." As soon as Hotch and Emily entered the room, she quieted and ducked her head, still pulling on the restraints.

Hotch turned quickly while Emily rushed to her side. "Why is she cuffed to the bed?" He demanded, directing his anger at the security guard who had been standing just outside JJ's room.

"JJ-" Emily sighed with relief, stopping short of the hospital bed. She hesitated, almost afraid to touch her friend as if by touching her it would destroy the illusion she hadn't allowed herself to hope for. "You're alive."

"It's hospital policy." The man stated obliviously, answering Hotch's question as the woman in the bed shrank back as far away from all of them as she could get with her arm cuffed to the bed. "But I can unlock them for you?" The guard gestured toward the cuffs.

"Yes." Hotch snapped shortly, the look in his eyes clearly deterring any argument by the guard.

As soon as the cuffs were unlocked, both agents were stunned when the woman on the bed sprinted past the federal agents barreling down the hall. "JJ, stop—wait" Hotch yelled pleadingly as he ran after her.

Snapping into action, the guard yelled down the hall, "Stop that woman!"

Another guard, hearing the commotion, turned the corner just in time to snatch the blonde quickly just before Hotch caught up with her. The blonde fought violently to free herself. "¡Vete al infierno!" The woman yelled, fighting against the guard's tight grip.

Hotch looked to Emily in surprise, attempting to confirm that she too saw this was happening. Emily nodded and translated softly, "She told them to go to hell."

"Viete a la mierda!" The woman spat as the guard dragged her into the hospital room. Emily stepped back in shock, stunned by the un-JJ like behavior of this woman who, though much thinner than JJ and with hollow sunken eyes, could have been JJ's twin.

The guard struggled to hold JJ in his grasp. His fellow security guard stepped up to help, forcing JJ back onto the hospital bed where they reapplied the cuffs to her left wrist.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hotch snapped as he stepped forward to stop them.

"Sir—" One of the guards flinched as JJ punched his arm, fighting to get him to go away, "We can't release her into your custody until a doctor signs her out."

Rubbing his hand over his worn, tired eyes, he nodded. "Fine, get me the doctor." Hotch gestured to Emily to take the seat at JJ's bedside as he moved over to the seat in the corner, "but we're not leaving without her."

.oOo.

An hour later, Hotch was pulled out of JJ's room by the plump doctor with salt and pepper hair who had been treating JJ. Hotch smirked with annoyance at the doctor's inability to get there any sooner, but he apparently had more pressing patients in immediate need.

How any other patient could take precedence over JJ was beyond him.

But the calm confidence the doctor exuded suggested that Hotch could at the very least trust this man's medical knowledge.

"Alejandra was invo—" Dr. Martinez started to explain, only getting as far as the patient's name before being swiftly corrected.

"JJ." Hotch swiftly interrupted with the correction. "Her name is JJ, she is a federal agent that was abducted three years ago."

"My apologies." The older man smiled kindly, "_JJ_ was involved in a major car accident—" Dr. Martinez explained, "When the paramedics brought her in however, she refused treatment to what appeared to be a dislocated right shoulder, insisting that she did not have insurance and did not want to be treated. On initial examination, we noticed several tick bites, and we suspected a recent sexual assault, though _JJ _declined treatment at the time."

"How recent?" Hotch asked, not sure whether he really wanted to know the answer to his own question.

"Based on the blood saturating her clothes, I would say within an hour of the accident. I might add that it would have been a particularly violent encounter." The doctor added sadly. Taking a deep breath, he continued. "One of our staff realized the similarity between our patient and the description in the federal database. Additionally, we noticed track marks suggesting a history with drug use-that's when we notified you and kept Alejandra—JJ—" He corrected automatically, "here until you could arrive."

"JJ wouldn't do drugs willingly." Hotch mused as he watched the women inside. Emily sat near JJ's side, as if by leaving her friend—even for a minute—JJ might suddenly disappear.

"Per your request, we took her for an x-ray of her shoulder which confirmed it was indeed dislocated, which we re-set. We also will administer a mild sedative to allow Dr. Gonzales the opportunity to complete a Sexual Assault Exam."

Hotch grimaced, the doctor took that as his cue to continue.

"The x-rays show multiple poorly healed fractures to her arms, legs, and ribs—the most notably a break to her left fibula and tibia which would have made her unable to walk for nearly six months. This injury likely took place one to two years ago."

"What did they do to you JJ?" Hotch whispered, watching closely as JJ's eyes darted around frantically.

The Doctor sighed sadly, "I'm afraid, Agent Hotchner, that this is just the tip of the iceberg."

.oOo.

Emily cringed as the doctor walked in smiling brightly as if here for a more lighthearted purpose. "Jennifer?" The doctor looked for any sign of recognition in JJ's face. Finding none, she shrugged slightly, "I'm Dr. Abigail Gonzales, you are the FBI Agent?" She asked Emily who nodded warily.

"The nurses said they couldn't find a vein, so it looks like we're going to have to set up the IV here in the foot." She explained everything she was doing, and for that, Emily was grateful. "But first, we're going to have to give you something to make sure you don't kick me in the face." She spoke to JJ almost as if she were a child—which Emily had to agree may have been the best method. Loading a syringe, Dr. Gonzales focused on the woman in front of her, frowning at the terror that immediately washed over her eyes.

"No!" JJ insisted hoarsely, scrambling as far away from the coming syringe as she could get, the cuffs twinkling as they clanged against the rails of the bed, "Por favor, no mas. No mas." She pleaded softly.

Emily's heart broke more than she thought was possible at the sight of JJ so frightened. "Doctor Gonzales, couldn't we avoid the sedative? Is there any other way?"

"That depends." The doctor smiled with a relaxed air about her. "Jennifer, I'm going to need you to keep your foot really still, can you do that?" She asked kindly. "If not, I will have to give you something to relax."

JJ nodded reluctantly and slowly uncoiled herself from the tight ball she had rolled herself into. "Please don't tell Manuel." She whispered in Spanish, ducking her head to avoid eye contact with the other women.

Both Emily and Dr. Gonzales looked at each other deftly. Shrugging slightly, Dr. Gonzales picked up where she had left off. "Alright, this might sting a little."

JJ winced, and Emily couldn't help but feel tears sting in the back of her eyes. "There." Dr. Gonzales smiled in satisfaction as she taped the IV to JJ's foot. "Alright Jennifer, please call me Abigail. Now I'm going to do a Sexual Assault Exam. Do you know what that is?"

JJ nodded, her eyes wide and fearful. "Alright, let's get started." Placing her hand gently on JJ's knees to help maneuver her correctly, she was shocked to see her charge already begin crying silently.

"Are you in pain?" She asked, mentally cataloguing the chart she had just familiarized herself with—instantly catching a grinding resistance from the woman's left hip that hadn't shown up on any X-ray.

JJ didn't respond. Instead, she turned her head away from both women and continued to allow the tears to stream down her face, her body jumping with the sobs that she somehow managed to keep absolutely silent.

"It's okay." Emily comforted in Spanish. "This will be over soon." She smoothed JJ's matted hair, cringing as the younger woman sobbed silently. As she ran her hand over JJ's thin hair she was struck by how weak her friend looked—and the bruise now forming along the side of her cheek only increased the stark contrast between her pale skin and the dark circles under her eye.

When JJ winced again, Emily felt like she couldn't stand it much longer. Catching the doctor's eye, Emily nodded toward JJ pleadingly, hoping the other woman understood her desperate plea to do something to lessen the trauma for her friend.

Dr. Gonzales nodded quickly before grabbing a syringe and plunging the cool liquid immediately into the IV. "Jennifer, you should be feeling a little more relaxed in a minute." She offered hopefully. "And Emily here will hold your hand to make sure you are okay, alright?" Abigail smiled and tried to catch JJ's eye. When JJ refused to look at her, she motioned to Emily to take the blonde's hand before she began the exam.

Once Emily took JJ's hand, Dr. Gonzales leaned down to get to work. Almost immediately, she felt a flash of recognition at obvious sores and boils she had rarely seen in combination before.

Speaking out of the corner of her mouth, Dr. Gonzales commanded the nurse at her side softly, "Get me 30 units of Zithromax, we're going to need to get her started on some strong antibiotics right now." Looking back at Emily, Dr. Gonzales shook her head softly before returning to her task at hand.

As JJ's silent sobs subsided, Emily clung to her hand overwhelmed with the memory of waking up that fateful night.

_"Dejó la pistola" Emily muttered, her first thought was confusion at why she was speaking Spanish._

_"Emily, can you open your eyes for me?" A deep voice that registered somewhere in the back of her mind as belonging to Derek Morgan asked. "Come on Em, open your eyes."_

_"Where am I?" She asked. Opening her eyes, she immediately regretted it as the world spun around her—blurry images coming in and out of view. She quickly shut her eyes once more, attempting to focus on regaining consciousness. Suddenly, the events of earlier came floating back to her. "Where's JJ?"_

_When no one answered, she opened her eyes in curiosity. Surprised to see Hotch, Reid, Rossi and Morgan all staring straight at her, she asked again more seriously, "Guys, where is JJ?"_

_Their expressions were all the explanation she needed, but Rossi spoke up quietly, "We don't know."_

Emily traced gently over the faded lines on the outside of JJ's wrists, surprised at how quickly JJ had fallen asleep. "What would these scars be from?" She asked to no one in particular.

"Let me see." Dr. Gonzales stood from where she had been swabbing the inside of JJ's thighs. Snapping off the gloves, she wheeled her stool over to where Emily was pointing. "Those look like scars from a tight restraint. Some type of ligature. We see that a lot with some prostitutes that come through here."

After a moment, Emily spoke up again. "What about these ones, on the inside of her arm—some dark purple, and other lighter jagged lines going down from the wrist toward the elbow?" Emily turned out JJ's arm for the doctor to see. "Are these restraint marks too?"

Abigail held her eyes for a moment before shaking her head sadly. "I think you know the answer to that, Agent Prentiss."

Emily felt her stomach drop, and winced at the foul taste that filled her mouth. "You mean she tried to-?" She couldn't even state the words.

The doctor nodded sadly, "I'm afraid so."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: **_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or alerted this story. Again, I'll direct you to the warnings in the first chapter of this story._

* * *

The doctors met with the profilers in JJ's room several minutes later. Emily had systematically refused to leave JJ's side, and the doctors desperately needed to inform the agents of the further care JJ needed.

"Abigail, maybe you could start for us. What did you discover in the SAE?" Dr. Martinez asked, looking back to his charge to make certain the blonde had indeed fallen asleep.

Dr. Gonzales sighed, "JJ was _definitely_ a victim of multiple sexual assaults—one, very recently, being so violent as to cause severe tearing along the vaginal walls. On examination, at least three sexually transmitted diseases were readily apparent. I ordered strong antibiotics, but I won't know the full scope of what we're dealing with until I get the labs back." She took a deep breath, pausing to allow the information to sink in. "It appears, just from what I've been able to assess, that most of her injuries have been either completely untreated, or were only mildly treated."

Dr. Martinez nodded, "From what I've seen, I would have to agree with you. I'm sure you noticed the thinning hair and gaunt appearance which only further supports what her weight alone tells us—Jennifer has been severely malnourished for some time now. I would suggest," He turned to the profilers, "that we first do a full exam, cataloguing each injury. Then, we can admit Jennifer until we can get a basic handle on her various treatments."

"Various treatments?" Emily asked quietly, hoping that they wouldn't wake JJ from her fitful sleep, "what do you mean?"

"I'm not a surgeon," Dr. Martinez sighed, "however, on viewing the x-rays, it is apparent that many of her healed injuries will need to be repaired once she is stable enough to be able to handle such an extensive surgery."

"Such as?" Hotch prodded stiffly.

Dr. Martinez rubbed his eyes warily. "The injury to her leg that I mentioned earlier? It will definitely require surgery—surgery which would entail re-breaking the bones and setting them with the hope that they heal correctly. As it is, the injury is likely still causing her severe pain."

"Her hip." Dr. Gonzales spoke up, "As I was helping her move her legs, there seems to be something wrong with her hip. It will definitely need an MRI or a CT scan to check for any damage, it may not have shown up on the X-ray. An injury like that would require months of physical therapy _at least, _if not surgery as well."

"So what should we do?" Emily asked, her mind swimming with the information the doctors had heaped on her shoulders.

"Like Dr. Martinez said," Dr. Gonzales prodded, "a full exam is really the first step. We just need your consent."

Hotch nodded cautiously, "Do whatever you need to."

.oOo.

Dr. Gonzales smiled sympathetically at Emily as she sat back down on her stool, "Dr. Martinez and I decided that if Jennifer here wakes up, it may be less traumatic for her if she finds me cataloging her injuries."

Emily nodded deftly, retaking her own spot at JJ's bedside.

"The nurses said they saw something on her lower back when they were helping her take the X-ray—" Abigail murmured as she scooted over to the side of the bed. "Did you see anything?" She asked Emily as she rolled JJ's hips to the side.

Emily shook her head quickly. "No, I was trying to keep her calm." She admitted, fighting the urge to feel slightly defensive. Vaguely, she recalled JJ snapping away quickly from a nurse that inquired about something on her back. At that time, it had been far more important to help the doctors treat JJ's shoulder.

Dr. Gonzales stopped as she felt tightness in JJ's pelvis. Massaging around the area that she suspected was from a previously broken hip, she pushed herself to continue, mentally making a note of the area. Pulling back JJ's hospital gown, her jaw dropped at the sight that met her eyes.

As an Emergency Room doctor in a rural town, Abigail Gonzales had seen her fair share of grotesque and disturbing images. But her prior experience couldn't hold a candle to the image in front of her. Scarred, distorted and bumpy purple flesh marred a circular area on her back. An unintelligible design was also burned into her skin, black skin bordering the semi-fresh burn. But the image that bored into Dr. Gonzales's mind was the third sore—a second circular red angry mass of blistered cauterized skin oozed puss and the smell of infection at first glance. Gasping involuntarily, Abigail gently traced the outside of the burn as she racked her brain for what type of immediate treatment would be best.

JJ jerked awake, yanking at her arm that was cuffed to the bed and winced as she pulled her arm, immobilized in a sling, up under her chin for protection. "¡Deténgase! ¡Por favor!" She begged in Spanish.

Grimacing almost imperceptibly, Dr. Gonzales grabbed a disinfectant, frowning slightly as she acknowledged that this would most definitely hurt her charge. "Jennifer, this is going to sting a little, but I want to make sure this newer injury doesn't get infected."

Applying the cool liquid to JJ's back, Dr. Gonzales felt her own calculated professionalism begin to reach its limits. Hissing at the pain of the liquid sizzling against her already sore wound, JJ tried to pull away. "No. Please –Don't—Please, make it stop." She pled in Spanish.

Emily, fighting between desperate to know what had elicited such a strong reaction from the doctor and having a sinking feeling that she didn't want to know, finally decided to stand from her seat and look over JJ's body to where the doctor was working. Her hand flew involuntarily to her mouth, attempting to hold in the audible gasp that she feared would only frighten the woman in front of her. Theoretically, she knew that what JJ must have gone through was awful. Having evidence of JJ's torture flung in her face was something she had been completely unprepared for.

Turning to Emily with tears dripping down her face, JJ pled quietly in her unbroken Spanish, "Please Emily, make it stop."

Emily could swear that in that moment, her heart stopped completely. For nearly three hours, she had sat by JJ's bedside without so much as a second glance from the younger woman. Truth be told, she was starting to question whether this woman in front of her really was Jennifer Jareau. But the simple plea from a broken woman was all it took for Emily to snap into action. "Stop it!" She commanded authoritatively. "Now."

"Her wound has to be cleaned." Dr. Gonzales explained forcefully. It wasn't that she wanted her patient to experience more pain-she just knew what needed to be done.

"I don't care. Stop it." Emily commanded, rubbing JJ's shoulder gingerly.

Dr. Gonzales's mouth fell open as she attempted to argue. Her argument, however, was cut off as both Hotch and Dr. Martinez burst into the room.

"We have a problem." Hotch announced.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: **_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or alerted this story. Again, I'll direct you to the warnings in the first chapter of this story._

* * *

"What do you mean we have a problem?" Emily snapped back at her boss, for just a moment struck by the realization that three years before, she would have never dreamed of speaking to her boss that way.

Wordlessly, Dr. Gonzales turned on the TV in the upper corner of the room. _Missing Federal Agent found after three years,_ the words scrolled across the bottom of the screen as a reporter appeared in front of the very hospital they were at. "Thank you Carl. Missing FBI Agent Jennifer Jareau has reportedly been found alive and is being treated here at Crossroads Mercy Hospital. Authorities have not yet confirmed her identity but—" Hotch quickly turned the TV off.

"Someone tipped off the media." Emily groaned.

"Really?" Hotch snorted sarcastically. "I didn't notice." He winced as the retort left his mouth, remembering all too well the breaking point between him and Emily.

_Pulling yet another 'Missing Persons' file from the large stack, Hotch could barely focus on the written words as he searched for any connection with the present case._

_JJ's case._

_He shook his head, trying not to think about what could be happening to the agent that he considered to be a part of his family._

_With the exception of Reid's three-day abduction and Elle's week long avoidance, he had never lost an agent._

_Sure, Adrian Bale killed six of his fellow agents in the line of duty, but he hadn't been responsible then._

_With JJ, things were different._

_Emily and Derek opened the door to the precinct, allowing in the worried calls from the press and flashing camera lights as JJ's posse—and friends—tried to find any information on her disappearance._

_The problem was, there wasn't any to be found._

_There had been no ransom demand, no taunting call from the UnSub, nothing. And Hotch was running out of ideas._

_Emily stalked toward him, obviously agitated. "Hotch—they're everywhere. You've got to have someone talk to the press—they're—"_

_"Tell JJ to—" He responded automatically before stopping, kicking himself mentally for the Freudian slip. He was just so used to having JJ take care of it—he was beginning to realize that they may not be able to do this without her._

_"I'd love to tell JJ to take care of the press." Emily retorted hotly. "But someone sent us out into a field in the middle of NOWHERE."_

_"Agent Prentiss," He clenched his jaw tightly, "stand down." He could easily see that Emily was teetering on the edge, but right then, he didn't care. He was certain Emily blamed him for JJ's disappearance, her previous statement evidence of the guilt he felt._

_"Stand down?" Emily asked incredulously, "Why? So you can get in front of the media and tell them we're doing everything we can? JJ's out there! We know what happens to kidnap victims that are held longer than 24 hours. There's been no ransom demand!"_

_"I'm well aware of the case at hand Agent Prentiss." Hotch bit out darkly. "But maybe you are too close to the case to remain objective. Perhaps—"_

_"Of course I'm too close to the case!" Emily threw up her hands angrily. "I was there when they took her! I couldn't stop them." Hotch could easily see the tears that Emily was struggling to hold back. "And none of you were there."_

_"If you need to be relieved from this case," Hotch said softly, not bothering to hide the condescending tone, "then I have no problem ordering you to take some time off."_

_Emily looked at him, horrified. He felt a slight twinge of guilt as he realized he was taking his anger out on her, but pushed that thought aside as he picked up another file._

_"Maybe **you're **too close to the case, Hotch." Emily replied quietly, her anger being redirected into a cold calculated response, "And if we don't find her, it will be because you didn't know when to step back, or when to step up."_

_Derek, seeing the situation was only going from bad to worse quickly intervened. "Em, stop." He gently turned her and pulled her out of the room. Hotch smirked as he heard the other man whisper loudly, "it won't do JJ any good if you lose your job. We'll find her."_

But they hadn't.

All they had gotten was one phone call that nearly destroyed the entire team, followed closely behind by the misidentification that both Emily and Hotch felt solely responsible for.

And ever since their blowout, Hotch and Emily hadn't been able to return to civility.

Emily rolled her eyes at his previous comment before returning to the matter at hand. "We have to get her out of here."

"The jet is at the airport." Hotch mused to no one in particular.

"Absolutely not." Dr. Gonzales defended, looking at the two FBI officials as if they had grown another head. "There is no way that I can release her unless it is to another hospital. She has wounds that need to be treated _now."_

"Dr. Gonzales," Dr. Martinez shot the younger doctor a warning look, "we have no way of ensuring JJ's privacy. If all those reporters outside decide to storm the hospital, we have no way of stopping them. We wouldn't be able to administer the treatment she needs. A larger hospital would be able to help her heal more quickly." Turning to the agents, he spoke quickly, "we can have a helicopter at the helipad in ten minutes. That should be able to get you to your jet undetected."

Dr. Gonzales huffed angrily, clenching her jaw into a tight line. "Fine. But you have to promise me that the first thing you will do is take her to another hospital to be treated."

"There are other priorities right now—" Hotch began, mentally cataloguing everything he needed to do to make sure JJ was safe. At this point, they knew virtually nothing about JJ's captivity over the last three years. Not to mention the fact that he had to alert the team, Will, the bureau…all had to be notified that they may have found JJ.

"I'm afraid I must agree with Dr. Gonzales," Dr. Martinez stated with finality, "if you don't promise to take Jennifer to an Emergency Room as soon as possible then we will not be able to release her into your custody."

Both Hotch and Emily gaped at the doctor for a moment, surprised at his insistence. "Alright." Hotch nodded. "As soon as the jet lands, I'll have Emily-" He paused, glancing over at the brunette to make sure she was willing to continue at JJ's side; seeing Emily nod, he quickly continued, "-I'll have Emily take her to the hospital."

"Doctor," Dr. Martinez commanded quickly, "get Jennifer ready for transport. Show Agent Prentiss anything that she might need to know to care for Jennifer in the next few hours. She should be ready when the helicopter comes in ten minutes." He smiled as Dr. Gonzales nodded her understanding. "Agent Hotchner, I'm going to need the name of the hospital you're taking her to so they can be waiting for your arrival."

Hotch nodded, "Tri-County Medical in DC," He said automatically, well aware of the closest hospital to the DC airstrip. "And if you will excuse me, doctor, I have some phone calls to make."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: **_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or alerted this story. Again, I'll direct you to the warnings in the first chapter of this story. I will also take the time to explain right here: this story will be sad. It will be devestating. BUT, I promise, there will be a happy ending. I'm already 89 pages into the story, and find that it keeps getting sadder. AGAIN, there will be a happy ending, but it will take a while. So, please, bear with me. If not, that's fine too._

* * *

Ten minutes later, Dr. Gonzales had inserted a drain for the infected wound in JJ's back. Reminding Emily softly as she helped JJ change into the smallest pair of hospital scrubs they could find before taking her up to the helipad, she still maintained a forceful tone, "Now the gauze will need to be changed every three hours. The burn that appears to be a brand—you'll need to apply disinfectant to that every six to eight hours."

JJ silently moved along with the doctor's assistance, her eyes darting everywhere. Emily mentally noted that JJ's hands were beginning to shake, and the blonde was beginning to perspire—something she'd seen plenty of times as suspects went through some form of withdrawal.

Emily nodded, feeling slightly sick that she would have to look at the wound again in the future, but knowing that it needed to be done. Peeking her head out of the door, she smirked as she saw Hotch pacing softly on his phone. "Yes ma'am—" She heard him try to placate the person on the other line and smiled at the realization that he was talking to Strauss. "We are still waiting for the blood tests to confirm, but yes. We believe this is Agent Jareau." He paused for a moment, listening to the woman on the phone, and Emily couldn't help but eavesdrop, "Agent Morgan and yourself, at the airstrip would be fine." He agreed quietly.

She and Dr. Gonzales helped JJ back onto the gurney. Emily fought off the momentary pang of sadness as she looked at how small JJ looked, dwarfed in the scrubs that seemed at least three sizes too big. The doctor and a few nurses helped push JJ's gurney out of the room as they prepared to take her to the helipad. Hotch was still on the phone, and Emily instructed the others to stop while he finished what she assumed was arranging for JJ's medical care once they landed.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for my sister—Alejandra?" A young man down the hall asked a nurse, favoring his left arm. He couldn't have been more than eighteen. "We were involved in a car accident. Have you seen my sister?"

Emily's jaw dropped as she realized what was happening—someone else was looking for JJ with likely suspect motives.

Hotch, for his part, immediately ended his call and stepped toward the boy. "You're looking for Alejandra?" He asked tightly, clenching his jaw as he saw JJ immediately stiffen and duck her head to avoid looking at the boy.

The boy, obviously unaware that Hotch was a federal agent, saw his "sister" on the gurney behind Emily. "Alejandra, Manuel told me to make sure you get home safely." He smiled at the agents, looking Emily over with mild admiration before adding, "Thank you for taking care of my sister."

"Come on, _puta,_ Manuel se enfadará si llegamos tarde_. _Let's go." He stepped toward Emily and JJ, only to be slammed forcefully into the wall by Hotch's full body weight.

Hotch placed his forearm forcefully on the boy's upper back. Turning to Emily, he ordered firmly, "Get her to the helicopter. I'll meet you at the jet." He ground out, shoving the boy into the wall more harshly. "You and me," He murmured into the boy's ear as he struggled in vain to get out of Hotch's grasp, "we have a lot to talk about."


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: **_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or alerted this story. Again, I'll direct you to the warnings in the first chapter of this story. I will also take the time to explain right here: this story will be sad. It will be devestating. BUT, I promise, there will be a happy ending. I'm already 89 pages into the story, and find that it keeps getting sadder. AGAIN, there will be a happy ending, but it will take a while. So, please, bear with me. If not, that's fine too._

_To rem: The Spanish in this chapter should be a little more explained. ALSO, I'm sorry I forgot to translate the Spanish in the last chapter. The boy said to JJ, "Come on, bitch, Manuel will be angry if we are late."_

* * *

Hotch sighed as he stopped the SUV just short of the runway. The last thing he wanted to do was allow this boy on the plane with JJ, but after he had cuffed the boy the first thing he had found in the boy's pockets was JJ's long lost FBI badge. Almost more disconcerting was the fact the boy was also carrying a Glock 23—Standard Issue FBI, and coincidentally, the type of gun JJ used to carry. While the serial numbers had been filed off, Hotch had a sickening feeling that he knew the previous owner of this particular weapon.

Yanking the boy out of the van, Hotch stopped short of the stairs leading up to the jet. "Now listen—I'm only going to say this once." He ground out gruffly. "We are going to get on this plane, and you will stay right in the seat next to me. If you say a single word, I will make you wish you had never been born. Do you understand?"

The kid gulped nervously, his Adam's apple bobbing with apprehension. As they entered the jet, Hotch's face fell as he saw the woman huddled into herself on the couch, quietly focused on the front of the plane. Seconds later, Emily returned from the front of the plane with a blanket in hand, offering only a quirked eyebrow in Hotch's direction before turning back to the blonde.

"Here, this is for you" Emily held the blanket out to JJ who eyed it warily for only a second before snatching it tightly and clutching onto the blanket like a lifeline. Emily couldn't shake the reminder that sprung to her mind of Henry a few years earlier with his own trusted Blankie.

Hotch and Emily shared a look over the leather seats of the plane. _'What had JJ gone through to elicit such a reaction to a blanket?'_

Emily wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Hotch was beginning to feel like he knew too much already.

The boy, sitting at Hotch's left, looked over the seat at what had perplexed the agents. At the sight of JJ's tight grip on the blanket, and the almost imperceptible look of genuine content, the boy laughed heartily. Suddenly feeling emboldened, the boy commanded, still laughing, "Drop it, puta."

JJ jerked violently as she whipped around searching frantically for a voice she knew too well but hadn't seen board. Immediately, she dropped the blanket and turned her body to face the couch, raising her trembling arm above her head. Emily shot Hotch the dirtiest look she could muster before pushing JJ's arm back down and attempting to hand JJ the discarded blanket.

Hotch thrust his forearm against the kid's throat, pinning him to the wall of the jet. "Speak again," Hotch warned coldly, applying a little more force than was necessary to the kid's throat "and I will kill you. Comprende?"

The kid nodded, still smiling as he settled back in his seat. "Sure, whatever you say Agent Hotchner."

An hour later, JJ hadn't moved from her spot on the couch. Emily could feel her own stomach rumbling, and could only imagine what JJ was feeling. Standing up, she hesitated for only a second before leaving her charge and making her way to the back of the plane where Hotch and the kid sat.

"She really needs to eat something." Emily murmured to Hotch, hoping the kid wouldn't be able to hear her.

Hotch nodded, thinking over what possible food they had in the jet. By the time they landed in DC, it would be around 40⁰ F, and the last thing they needed was for JJ to get any sicker than she already was. A memory pricked at his mind, and he nodded happy that he had remembered something so insignificant at the time, "Morgan left some soup in the bottom cabinet of the bathroom." He instructed, "Reid has a thermos—"

Emily waved him off, knowing just as well where the rest of the items would be. Quickly retrieving the Campbell's Soup and Reid's thermos, she waited for only a minute before offering the mug to her friend.

Holding the thermos out to JJ, Emily forced herself to smile as the other woman eyed it warily. Looking back to the boy, it was easy to see that she was looking for some instruction from him.

The kid smiled smugly, earning a hard elbow to his gut. "Tell her it's okay to eat." Hotch commanded in a low voice.

"Usted debe hacer lo que dicen. El es tu dueño." The kid spoke up innocently, though Hotch could easily see the mischievous glint in the kid's eyes. Turning to Hotch, the kid shrugged. "You can tell her to eat it yourself."

"No. JJ—you're safe—" Emily insisted, pulling the soup away from quickly JJ and cradling it close to herself.

"JJ. Please eat." Hotch begged, completely misinterpreting Emily's reaction and attributing it to something JJ had said that was inaudible to his ears. "You need to eat."

Reluctantly, but forcefully, grabbing the thermos from Emily's hands, she quickly put the cup against her lips, and sat up, looking back at Hotch for approval.

Hotch smiled triumphantly at Emily who simply gaped incredulously in response. "What the hell, Hotch?" She hissed angrily as JJ quietly drank the soup, eyeing Hotch closely.

"She's eating, isn't she?" Hotch defended, sitting back in his chair. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the boy snicker softly and had a sickening feeling that Emily was on the right track.

"Because you told her to." She retorted angrily. A flash of understanding crossed over her eyes as she realized that Hotch didn't speak Spanish. Pulling away from JJ slowly, she turned toward Hotch and whispered pointedly, "he told her you're her master."

Hotch felt his stomach churn at the realization that he had been duped. Gaping at JJ, dumbfounded, he caught her eye for just a second before he saw terror fill her eyes. "Lo siento, lo siento." She murmured, looking away quickly and ducking her head as she sipped the soup.

_"Sorry?"_ Hotch thought, for once in this entire encounter, able to pull on his high school Spanish, _"what does she have to be sorry for?"_ Mentally slapping himself, he pulled back in disgust. She was sorry for even looking at him. _"What have I done?" _He cursed himself mentally.

Grabbing the boy at his side by the scruff of his neck, "Come with me, _now._"His voice dropped coldly to a deadly calm as he threw the boy in the small jet bathroom. "Stay there." He ordered.

Turning back toward JJ and Emily, he sighed as he took in the trembling blonde. Emily shot him a look, pleading with him to do something as she offered JJ the discarded blanket once more.

JJ steadily refused the blanket, sipping the soup slowly as she eyed Hotch while he came and sat closer to the two women—not close enough that he thought he would scare JJ, but wanting his own chance to make sure that this wasn't just another one of his recurring dreams. JJ hugged herself, rubbing her trembling fingers over her sore arm, and it didn't take a genius to see the shiver she desperately tried to hide.

Hotch cursed himself mentally for not thinking of it sooner. Dressed only in hospital scrubs, even the temperature controlled jet would be too cold for the underweight, ill woman. Emily tried to drape the blanket over JJ gently, only to have JJ shrug the blanket off immediately. Groaning inwardly, he spoke up softly. "JJ, it's okay. You can take it." He nodded to Emily who held the blanket out to the blonde again.

Suspicious, JJ eyed the blanket for a few moments before slowly reaching out her hand and pulling the blanket toward her. Cautiously, as if to check and see if Hotch would change his mind, she gently draped the plush fabric over her—still maintaining a vice-like grip on a corner of the blanket.

Hotch felt his heart sink further with each moment of silence that passed. He knew he had to say something, but he couldn't help the mortifying realization that continued to pummel his already distraught soul. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore, "JJ—" He winced as she jumped at the sign of his voice before she quickly put the thermos up to her lips and began to drink more rapidly. "JJ—I…" He trailed off, wondering if she was even listening to him while she stared off into space, her gaze focused just far enough away from him that she could catalogue his every movement with her peripheral vision.

Sighing, he started again, "About what happened earlier. JJ—I'm not, I could never be your dueño—your master," He spat the last word out quickly, as if trying to get the bad taste it left in his mouth out as soon as possible. "I'm sorry."

She barely blinked, and for a moment, his heart fell at the idea that she hadn't even heard him due to some coping mechanism. But, brightening slightly, he realized that even in the slightest chance she had caught part of his important apology, it was worth it.

He would do whatever it took to get JJ to trust him again—to make the fear in her eyes disappear.

Even if it killed him.

* * *

TRANSLATION:

_Usted debe hacer lo que dicen. El es tu dueño. _ You'd better do what they say. He is your master.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: **_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or alerted this story. Again, I'll direct you to the warnings in the first chapter of this story. I will also take the time to explain right here: this story will be sad. It will be devestating. BUT, I **promise**, there will be a happy ending. I'm already 90+ pages into the story, and find that it keeps getting sadder. AGAIN, there will be a happy ending, but it will take a while. _

* * *

As the jet taxied to a stop, Hotch immediately picked up the phone and returned the dozen messages he had waiting for him from the same number. "Will—" He stated as the other man picked up, "it's me."

_"Hotch—" The other man sighed gratefully, his thick accent clouded by gruffness from sleep. "I saw on the news—did you find her?" The hope was evident in Will's worn voice._

"We haven't gotten the blood results yet, that's why I didn't call you." Hotch paused, looking over at JJ who was purposefully trying not to catch his eye while stealing calculated glances.

_Will sighed, remembering all too well the false positives—false hopes that were dashed too quickly. "But you'll call me when they come in?" He asked insistently._

"When we know for sure, you'll be my first call." Hotch promised, feeling only slightly guilty at not giving the other man more. Honestly, he was certain this was JJ—but not only did he have to be sure, he wasn't sure JJ could handle an emotional visit from her estranged boyfriend.

When the jet stopped, Hotch quickly stood and retrieved the kid from where he had been stashed. Practically throwing him down the stairs, Hotch quickly drug the boy to a waiting SUV.

"Come on, we've got to go now." Emily said softly. When JJ simply blinked in response, Emily sighed and repeated her instruction in Spanish. Grimacing as she stood, JJ at least nodded to show her understanding.

Emily watched JJ with interest as JJ studied the blanket in her hands, indecision clearly written along her face. Clutching the still half-full thermos, JJ held the soft fabric up to her face before gingerly placing the blanket back on the couch. "You can take it, he said it was okay." She offered softly, wondering how many more times her heart could break with the sickening theories that accompanied some of her friend's reactions.

JJ shook her head softly, glancing back at the couch and then looking forward to the open jet door with apprehension. JJ limped toward the open jet door, and Emily bit her lip, concerned. Stepping forward, she placed JJ's good arm around her shoulders and tried not to think about how she could easily feel JJ's ribs poking through the oversized medical scrubs.

Emily helped JJ down the stairs of the jet, feeling a giant weight lifted from her at the sight of Morgan and Strauss waiting in the periphery. Derek wisely kept his distance, though his interest was obviously piqued at the sight of the blonde. Emily guided JJ toward the group of agents, grimacing as she felt JJ breathe with labored effort.

"You didn't grab her a blanket, or a coat?" Hotch asked with contempt as he too approached Morgan and Strauss, wrenching his hands wearily. "It's freezing out here Prentiss—"

"I was busy making sure she got off the jet." Emily retorted with annoyance, mentally cursing herself as JJ shivered in her arms—proving Hotch's point.

"Whoa—Hotch, back off man." Derek held up his hands in an attempt to stop their sparring. Seeing Hotch and Emily at one another's throat was a common sight, but right now didn't seem like the right time. "Just a sec—" He instructed hopefully, "I'll go back and get it."

"No. I'll do it myself." Hotch grunted. "We've got a suspect in the back of the other SUV. Morgan, come with me to the station." He added before stalking back to the jet in order to retrieve the blanket.

Derek cast one last glance at the shivering blonde before heading back to the other SUV.

"Agent Jareau?" Director Strauss looked uncharacteristically uncomfortable as she searched the woman's face for recognition.

JJ winced as she put pressure on the leg she had been favoring blankly staring straight through the woman who attempted to speak with her.

Strauss grimaced as she saw the first few flakes of snow float slowly from the sky and land softly on Agent Prentiss's shoulders. Sighing resignedly, she instructed softly, "It's starting to snow. We'd better get in the SUV."

JJ's eyes frantically surveyed the SUV before hobbling lightly to the back of the dark car. Waiting expectantly for the women to open the trunk doors, she was oblivious to the curious looks of Emily and Strauss.

"What is she—?" Strauss began to ask before being interrupted by Emily.

"She thinks she's going to sit in the back." Emily said disgustedly.

"In the trunk?" Strauss asked incredulously, "That's not going to happen." She insisted firmly, as if her decree would change JJ's actions.

Emily rubbed her tired eyes thoughtfully. "JJ, come sit in the front of the car." She instructed. Seeing the younger woman's obvious hesitation, she translated quickly and repeated her instruction in Spanish. Shrugging off Strauss's questioning look, Emily gently guided JJ toward the front of the SUV.

"Come on JJ, it's okay." Emily coaxed, holding open the front door of the SUV and gently taking the thermos from JJ's shivering hands.

"Here." Hotch came up from behind the women, wrapping JJ gently in the warm plush fabric. JJ stopped, frozen as she glanced over at Hotch before quickly averting her gaze. Hotch saw JJ's trepidation clearly written across her gaunt features.

Opening the doors to the second row of seats, he spoke with a gentleness Emily had never heard before, "Get in the car JJ." His heart broke as she struggled to pull herself up into the car. Desperately wanting to help her, he almost put a hand on her back to help her. Forcing himself to pull back as he realized that any contact on his part might only serve to traumatize her further, he winced as her foot slipped off the step bar along the bottom of the vehicle. After a couple more failed attempts to climb in the vehicle, JJ eventually managed to maneuver her way into the waiting SUV.

Swiftly walking over to the other side of the vehicle, he motioned for JJ to slide along the seat. At Emily's perplexed look he explained softly, "Her shoulder. The seatbelt will hurt her shoulder unless she's over here."

When she was satisfied that JJ was as settled in her seat as she was going to get, Emily offered the thermos with the luke-warm soup out to the other woman. JJ hesitated and looked to Hotch for approval. Hotch shook his head slowly in disbelief, completely disgusted that this was really happening. JJ misinterpreted his headshake as a sign of disapproval, and flinched away from the offered thermos.

Taking the thermos from Emily, he gingerly placed it beside the skittish blonde. "JJ," He felt sick to himself that he had to tell her what to do but didn't see another option, "I want you to listen to Emily. Do you understand?"

JJ nodded almost imperceptibly, gingerly rubbing the sling on her arm as she avoided catching Hotch's gaze.

Checking to ensure JJ was buckled in safely, Hotch closed the door softly. "Drive safe Erin." He said through the rolled down drivers' side window, more of a plea than any type of demand. Strauss nodded, not bothering to correct him for the familiar title, nor point out that she was the director of the FBI.

They rode mostly in silence, the two FBI officials trying to avoid acknowledging JJ's whimpered cries at each small bump the car took.

After a while, Director Strauss spoke up quietly, "How bad would it have been to—?" She trailed off, unable to adequately articulate the scene that was playing itself out behind her.

Emily glanced back at JJ, biting her lip at the sight of her broken friend. "Bad." She stated softly as the only response she could give to her superior.

Pulling up to the Emergency Room doors, Emily cursed softly as Strauss turned off the car. "For three years, she's probably had no control at all." Emily whispered, horrified. "And we're doing the same thing."

"We're taking her to the hospital." The Director said in confusion, "That's hardly the same as..." She trailed off, realizing exactly what Emily was referring to. A different set of people, carting JJ off to somewhere without asking her permission—suddenly the thought of carrying the woman behind them through the hospital doors seemed far too sinister.

"It's exactly the same." Emily whispered sadly.

Director Strauss fought the urge to vomit as she closed her eyes, blinking back the images that swamped over her at the realization of what this agent had faced. "Agent Jareau—" She started, her voice catching with emotion as she suddenly realized this woman would never work for the FBI Again.

"JJ—" Emily continued for her, "do you want us to take you to the hospital?" She asked, already knowing by the blonde's trembling figure what the answer would be.

JJ glanced up briefly, eyeing Emily for any sign that her answer would be used against her. Shaking her head slowly, she watched Emily closely for her reaction.

Strauss, who had been watching for JJ's answer through the rearview mirror, offered, "We could go to the hotel across the street," Gesturing to the large building, she added "at least until tomorrow morning."

Emily nodded, looking at the woman with newfound respect. It had been said that "power corrupts," with Strauss, she had become more human on being appointed Director of the FBI two years ago.

"Thanks." Emily whispered.

"I didn't do this for you," Strauss said sadly, "I did it for her."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: **_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or alerted this story. Again, I'll direct you to the warnings in the first chapter of this story. I will also take the time to explain right here: this story will be sad. It will be devestating. BUT, I **promise**, there will be a happy ending. I'm already 100+ pages into the story, and find that it keeps getting sadder. AGAIN, there will be a happy ending, but it will take a while. I also realize this chapter seems kind of...out of place...but there will be an update tomorrow as well. Suffice it to say "the kid" that JJ seemed so afraid of is just the tip of the iceberg. However, not all of these chapters will focus on JJ ALONE. This story is more about the entire team coming to grips with what happened. While JJ has the largest recovery ahead, in some ways each member of the team has to recover as well._

_Thanks again for your reviews and support. I genuinely appreciate them!_

**Also, as a side note, many of you will notice that this chapter answers a question that many of you may not have thought to ask. (What was up with JJ and the blanket?) As you read this story, just know that even minor details are important...and usually, there's a huge explanation in later chapters.**

* * *

As soon slammed the door shut, Hotch punched the steering wheel forcefully with both fists while the other SUV slowly pulled out of the parking lot.

"Something wrong, Agent Hotchner?" The kid in the back sneered.

"Do you have a name, kid?" Morgan asked angrily, not wanting to know what had transpired that sent the normally stoic Hotch into an emotional rage.

"Antonio." The kid smirked proudly, puffing out his chest as if it made him more imposing.

"You realize she was a federal agent?" Hotch spat out as he thrust the car into drive, not flinching as the tires squealed loudly.

Antonio smirked, "Yeah, that's what we were told."

Derek felt disgust well within him. "Kid, you know how long you'll go away for? You're going to be in prison for the rest of your life." He added smiling with satisfaction as the kid gulped nervously.

"Prison's too good for you." Hotch ground out with distain. "I'd gladly shoot you myself."

Antonio bit his lip nervously as Hotch peeled around a corner, not doubting the threat for a second. "What if I told you something?" The kid asked thoughtfully. "What kind of deal could I get?"

Morgan shook his head at the kid's naivety. "You won't know until you tell us something." He suggested, more than hoping that anything this kid said would be useful to send this kid for prison for a long time—right along with a reputation that this kid was a snitch.

The kid sunk back thoughtfully, gently rubbing the stubble that barely counted as a beard. "What do you want to know?" He settled for. It was definitely better to make the officers show their hand so he could know what to say, he reasoned.

"Who took her—who took Agent Jareau?" Hotch asked quickly.

The kid shrugged, "I would guess Manuel. She's only been with us for a couple of months."

"A couple of months?" Derek asked incredulously. "She's been gone three years. Where has she been the whole time?"

Antonio shrugged again, "Hell if I know. I'd ask Manuel if you want to know anything about that. It's kind of like a lease—we borrow Alejandra for a while, Manuel takes her back after a while. She was going back in about a week."

Realizing that this Manuel must be the same one he had heard JJ utter several times, Hotch's curiosity was piqued. "Who's Manuel?"

The kid shook his head, "He's a bad dude. Lives somewhere back east. He's got planes and fancy cars—I remember from when he dropped _puta_ off with us."

"Who do you work for?" Derek asked. It didn't take a profiler to realize that this kid wasn't even remotely deep in any organization.

"Man, what do you take me for? I ain't telling you that, not until I've got some promises." The kid sat back smirking, but on seeing Hotch's look his face fell. "But, because of my generosity, I'll give you a freebee. If I know the answer, I'll tell you one more thing you want to know. After that, I'm asking for my lawyer."

Hotch asked the question before his mind even registered he had opened his mouth. "The blanket?" He asked softly, "Tell me about the blanket."

The kid smirked, "That, Agent Hotchner, is something that I can tell you," He sat forward in his seat, "but I only heard about it."

"Go on." Hotch ground out.

"Apparently, the only thing Manuel gave her for a while was a blanket." Antonio's eyes danced with delight and Derek felt a sickening dread that he wasn't going to like what the kid had to say next. "After a couple of months, Manuel realized that the blanket was like some security thing." The kid chuckled.

Both agents fell silent, unwilling to picture what circumstances had led to JJ's need for security.

"One day, when she came back from somewhere he had sent her, he found out she hadn't obeyed the way he wanted her to." Antonio looked to the agent's faces to see if they understood. Satisfied by their grim response, he continued, "So, Manuel pulled out her precious blanket, and lit it on fire."

Hotch's lips twitched angrily, but otherwise remained impassive.

"When Manuel handed her off to us, he gave us strict instructions—no blanket for _puta, _she hadn't earned it back yet_._"


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note (It's a long one, but please read it): **_I received a PM last night that devastated me. The PM was kind and gracious, but the reviewer suggested that I should take pride in my ability to fabricate such a disturbing story and situation. I was not devastated at the comments, rather that I feel the reader has missed the point entirely._

_This story is dedicated to the millions of victims of human trafficking. As I said in the first chapter, nothing in this story has been written with the intent to disgust or disturb you. If anything in this story disturbs you, please know that is not my intent. My intent is to be realistic and to represent a small portion of a real situation that sadly does not get nearly enough acknowledgement. Many of the things suggested in this story really do happen in real life. I have taken creative liberties with the characters CBS has provided, but just because the characters are fictional does not mean the circumstances are fictional as well. I will repeat that for emphasis, while the story is fictional, the subject matter is not. In no way do I purport to know every way that a person can degrade another human being, and I believe that is a good thing. But evil, vile, atrocious things happen every day. And in real life, many people are not rescued just in the nick of time. Many people are not rescued at all. Many people do not get a happy ending. Many people do not see an end to suffering in this life. I do believe that every one of these victims will one day be able to stand before God and receive justice._

_Some statistics: (1) __Human trafficking has become the second most profitable crime worldwide, tied with international arms dealing just behind drug trafficking. In 2007, 27 million people were considered slaves in today's "modern society." The advent of technology does not seem to be the perfect setting for the barbaric state of slavery, but yes it is, and statistics will prove this fact. (2) __A subject that will be touched on _lightly_ in this story includes the trafficking of a child for sex. Child trafficking is one of the fastest growing crimes in the world. Over 100,000 children in the U.S. are currently exploited through commercial sex, and 300,000 children in the U.S. are at risk every year for commercial sexual exploitation. There are more slaves today than at any time in human history._

_For more information, please look at:_

_www [dot] freetheslaves [dot] net/Page [dot] aspx?pid=356_

_aheartforjustice [dot] com _

_www [dot] humantrafficking [dot] org/countries/united_states_of_america_

_www [dot] youtube [dot] com/watch?v=KjttKoFWxv0_

_I know this note is long, and if you don't read it at all, that's fine. But, I would not be able to live with myself if I didn't make myself abundantly clear. The entire point behind this story is to raise awareness of a horrible situation that can be happening right in our own backyards. There is something we can do to stop it, but first it requires us to be aware._

_Consider yourself warned._

* * *

The first thing Emily was aware of, several hours later, was a soft knocking at the hotel room door. Gently, she laid JJ's head to the side and stood, wincing at the stiffness in her back from having fallen asleep on the floor. Rolling off the bed she had fallen asleep on and tumbling over to the door, Director Strauss opened the door quietly after checking through the peephole.

"Agent Hotchner, Agent Morgan." She opened the door widely to allow the Agents entrance.

"Why isn't she in a hospital?" Hotch spat coldly as he quietly entered the hotel room.

"Why haven't _you_ called the rest of the team?" Emily retorted, rubbing her eyes still bleary from sleep.

Hotch glowered, biting back a retort. "She needs to be seen by a physician." He stated simply.

Softening, Emily sighed. "She didn't want to go."

Strauss stood up, "Agent Prentiss and I both decided it would be in Agent Jareau's best interest to let her get some rest. I hope you're not questioning my judgment, Agent Hotchner."

Seeing Strauss back her decision, and knowing that her own presence would only serve to make Hotch more defensive, Emily forced herself to leave JJ's presence for the first time in hours. "If you all don't mind, I've got to use the restroom."

Horrified to see JJ asleep, curled up on the floor, Hotch took a step back in shock. "What the hell is she doing on the floor?"

"I don't appreciate your tone, Agent Hotchner." Strauss muttered before grimacing at the memory of the blonde just a few hours before.

_JJ's trembling had only increased as they ascended the hotel floors in the elevator. "Does she have a fever?" Strauss asked with concern._

_"I don't know." Emily replied honestly. "Her bandages probably need to be changed—on her back. It's-" Emily hesitated for a minute, "It's bad."_

_Strauss nodded, placing a hand on JJ's upper back to help assist the exhausted trembling woman to the block of hotel rooms they had rented. Even the mere threat that JJ might still be in danger made the overly cautious Director rent a six room block for the next three weeks._

_Opening the door, both women sat aback as they watched JJ hesitate at the threshold, looking to Emily for guidance. "Come inside JJ." Emily instructed warily in Spanish, too tired from the emotional upheaval to exert her efforts when she knew what JJ would respond to._

_JJ cautiously entered the room, all the while keeping her back up tightly against the wall—inching along as she searched Emily's face to uncover when she had reached the desired location._

_Instantly picking up on JJ's reluctance to approach the bed, Emily instantly pulled down a pillow and sat in the corner where JJ was heading. Tentatively grabbing JJ's hand, Emily tugged on the blonde's hand, leading her to the floor. Gripping her shoulders softly, she helped JJ lie down. _

_"I'm not going to hurt you." Emily consoled. Grateful, not for the first time in the last few hours, for her language skills she added. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."_

_Strauss could only watch as Emily slowly ran her fingers through JJ's hair, she comfortingly rubbed the other woman's back. Strauss couldn't help but plead silently that Agent Jareau would quickly fall asleep._

_But somewhere, she knew that this wasn't going to be that easy._

"Derek." Hotch commanded, pointing to the woman on the floor, "we need to get her to the hospital."

Obediently but reluctantly, Derek scooped the woman up in his grasp. He fought surprise at her almost complete weightlessness in his arms.

"She's asleep." Strauss insisted, shooting both men a look that more than established why she earned her title as Director of the FBI. "It's three in the morning. What harm will it do to let the woman sleep?"

Hotch caught Morgan's questioning look and nodded reluctantly. Derek easily shifted the weight in his arms to enable him to pull back the covers. Smiling, he placed her gently on the bed where Strauss had been laying before pulling the covers over her.

"And the ipod?" Derek smiled, fondly remembering JJ's inability to do nearly anything without music.

"She had trouble falling asleep." Emily admitted as she came out of the bathroom. Seeing JJ curled up in the bed, she grimaced apprehensively, "I don't know if you should have moved her, she's—"

"Emily, if she had woken up, I would have called for you." Derek answered softly, leaning over to JJ and pulling the buds softly out of her ears. "I was careful."

"What do you mean she had trouble falling asleep?" Hotch asked. Though he could easily see the dark circles begin to form under Emily's eyes, he couldn't help feel concern for his charge. He had never lost an Agent before JJ, and it killed him to see her in such pain.

Emily bit her lip as she remembered JJ's laborious attempt to fall asleep.

_The blonde fitfully tossed in her sleep, whimpering every so often at some unseen horror known only to JJ in her dreams._

_"Isn't there anything you can do to help her?" Strauss asked. It had been nearly an hour. As she understood it, Agent Jareau had barely slept on the plane—which meant that she had to have been as exhausted as the Director felt—if not more so._

_"Maybe we can—" Emily searched for something to help her friend fall asleep, "turn off the lights?"_

_Strauss nodded and quickly turned off the lights, plunging the room into a tentative darkness._

_Up until this moment, Emily was fairly certain that JJ couldn't act more terrified of her current situation. As darkness blanketed the room, however, she realized she was sorely mistaken. JJ stiffened and froze immediately. Emily heard the woman gasp for breath, breathing in short rapid breaths._

_"Turn on the light—do something" She hissed quietly to Strauss who immediately snapped into action, flipping on the closest switch she could find._

_Light gently illuminated the small foyer of the hotel room, leaving JJ and Emily draped in the soft dim light. "It's okay JJ, I'm here." Emily gracefully tucked a strand of errant hair behind JJ's ear. "I'm not leaving you."_

_Wracking her mind for anything she could give the blonde woman lying across her lap something that might help her, she sighed gratefully as realization struck her._

_Quickly feeling around in her pocket for the familiar device, Emily smiled. A lifetime ago, she and JJ had often shared a room on cases, both for safety and for company. Emily could easily remember her surprise on their first night sharing a hotel room when JJ confessed that she could not easily fall asleep without the extra noise of her trusty ipod. The night before JJ's abduction, she had played her tunes so loudly that Emily had teasingly commandeered the device. Every morning since that day, Emily placed the ipod in her pocket, hoping that would be the day she could return it to her friend._

_And she had almost forgotten about it._

_Pulling the device out quickly, she fastened the buds to JJ's ears. JJ's breathing was still rapid, and in a stroke of brilliance, instructed the Director quietly, "Open the bathroom door and turn on the light—the dark, she might be afraid—" She let it trail off, honestly having no idea what JJ would be afraid of now._

_She desperately hoped she would not be on that long list._

_Strauss eyed her closely as JJ seemed to fall asleep. Emily brushed JJ's golden hair with her fingertips, every once in a while uttering a comforting phrase in Spanish to calm JJ's sporadic murmured cries._

_"Agent Prentiss," Strauss spoke softly as not to disturb the woman in the throes of sleep, "Agent Jareau will likely need long term care as a result of—"_

_"I know." Emily interrupted. "I'm going to see if she can stay with me." She whispered so softly that the Director had to strain to hear._

_"If that's the case," Strauss smiled, glad that her suspicions had been correct, "then anytime you'll need from the Bureau—paid time off, sick leave, whatever it be—consider it granted."_

_"Thank you, Ma'am." Emily yawned, feeling sleep tug at her own consciousness._

_"I'll call Agent Hotchner to let him know where we are." Strauss informed before yawning herself._

Clearing her throat, Strauss pulled Emily from her thoughts, "Since you all are more than capable of handling this, I'll go now." Strauss informed the group of Agents. Looking to Emily, she added, "And let me know if she needs anything."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Agent Hotchner, I'm sure you're aware there will be heightened media presence." She turned to the raven haired stoic leader, confident in his ability to control the appropriate information.

Hotch grimaced, "I've been informed that there are already several crews at my home." He admitted. Since JJ's primary focus on the team had required her to develop friends in the press, those friends had latched on to JJ's abduction with desperate fervor. Hotch groaned at the realization that he would be forced to deal with many more press conferences, full of reporters who knew JJ personally and wanted information.

"Then I would suggest you return home to deal with them and leave Agent Prentiss and Morgan here to care for Agent Jareau until morning." The Director instructed firmly, well aware of Hotch's new-found media connections. As the lone agent authorized to speak on the case, Hotch had done countless interviews, exclusives, and TV Specials in an attempt to gain any sort of lead in JJ's case. Though many believed he would become the next David Rossi, only the Director was aware of the numerous book deals he had already declined.

Hotch shook his head. "The press can wait another day or two." He rolled his eyes at the pure look of shock that crossed Derek and Emily's face. True, he had insisted on being the only person the press came to for questions about JJ, but it wasn't as if he had enjoyed it.

"In that case, we have booked the five rooms surrounding this one, so feel free to use them at the Bureau's expense." She smiled before grabbing her bag and the keys to the SUV she had driven and quietly leaving the room.

"Hotch," Derek stepped up, "why don't you and Emily both go to sleep? I'll keep watch outside."

Unable to deny how exhausted he felt, Hotch nodded. "First thing in the morning, we go to the hospital."

Emily nodded, stifling a yawn. "First thing." She agreed. Removing the clip from her gun and placing the clip under her pillow, she tossed the gun onto the side table. With a glance at JJ sleeping peacefully, she settled in to the other bed that stood closer to the door and quickly fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **_Thank you for the kind words and reviews of the last chapter. Just by way of warning, THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR A REASON. Events in this chapter, and some subsequent chapters, are the reason for this rating. PLEASE MIND THE RATING. Let me know if you found this chapter was confusing. I've edited it about a million times, and I genuinely can't tell anymore. Thanks for reading!_

_For more information, please look at: __www [dot] freetheslaves [dot] net/Page [dot] aspx?pid=356; __aheartforjustice [dot] com; __www [dot] humantrafficking [dot] org/countries/united_states_of_america; __www [dot] youtube [dot] com/watch?v=KjttKoFWxv0_

* * *

Emily jerked awake as she felt a soft poke to her nose. Snapping her eyes open, she opened her mouth to cry out and reached out immediately for her sidearm.

"Ssshhh" Morgan put his finger gently against her lips, "I come bearing coffee." He whispered, gesturing to the hotel room door, "thought you might like to join me."

Emily sighed with relief, smiling at the thought of some liquid refreshment, and slipped off the bed. As her feet hit the floor, she stopped and shook her head as a thought struck her. "If Hotch sees me outside, and not with her—" She grimaced as she played the potential argument in her head, "It would just be evidence that I messed up last night."

"Did you?" Derek asked, his hand resting on the doorknob. "Mess up?"

"She didn't want to go, Derek. I—I couldn't make her…" She trailed off, realizing just how easy it might have been to force JJ to go to the hospital the night before. "I _couldn't live with myself_ if I made her go." Emily amended.

Derek nodded, smiled, and turned toward the door the door. "Then it's a good thing Hotch had to run an errand and told me he'd be gone for the next hour."

Her face broke out in a genuine grin and she whispered happily "Sometimes, Derek Morgan, I think I just might love you."

"You and all the other single ladies, Prentiss." He raised his eyebrows teasingly, "But I'll remember that next time you—" He stopped immediately and both he and Emily snapped their attention to JJ who whimpered and turned in her sleep, hissing at the pressure of the mattress against her shoulder before falling silent once more.

Gesturing hopefully toward the door, he smiled when Emily nodded with excitement. Tiptoeing quietly out of the room, Derek shut the door softly behind them and slid down the wall to his make-shift guard post.

"I forgot how much I liked coffee." Emily moaned as she sipped the warm liquid.

"You've only been gone a day and a half Em," He rolled his eyes playfully. "It couldn't have been that bad. I'm sure Arizona has coffee."

She stuck out her tongue playfully, and they shared an easy laugh. After a moment, she asked, "What'd the kid have to say?"

Derek grimaced at the memory of the kid's prideful recounting of just a couple of the torturous experiences JJ had faced. Attempting to change the subject, he nodded toward the closed hotel room door. "How was she last night?"

Emily chuckled with self derision, "I was so exhausted, I slept straight through the night. I heard her cry out once—but I was pretty dead to the world."

Derek laughed, "And that's different from how you normally are-?" He asked teasingly.

Emily snorted as she sipped the black liquid. "Did anyone ever tell you you're an ass?"

He shook his head, chortling. "If I remember right, you told me not five minutes ago that you loved me."

"I told you that sometimes I think I love you. There's a difference." She ground out in mock severity. Sobering, she put her hand lightly on his shoulder, attempting to use him to stand. "I'd better get back—"

"Emily." Derek looked at her closely, pulling her hand off his shoulder and gently pulling her back down, "If you keep going like this, it's going to kill you. Relax for a minute. She's not going anywhere."

Nodding reluctantly, Emily sat back down, somewhat relieved to have a momentary reprieve from the emotional rollercoaster she had quickly found herself a part of. After ten minutes of light-hearted conversation, she sighed. "JJ might be up soon. We should be there."

Derek groaned ostentatiously, "Fine." He rolled his eyes playfully, "If you say so."

Smiling as she reentered the room, Emily's face fell when she heard the shower running.

Derek read her mind and spoke up quietly, "She's allowed to take a shower, Em."

"I know." Emily dismissed, feeling a sense of foreboding pring along her stomach. "It's just—there's something off—" She trailed off, glancing back to make sure that Derek understood.

Morgan nodded, "Is something missing?" He prodded helpfully.

Mentally cataloguing everything in the room, her eyes almost skipped over the side table to the bed where she had been laying only minutes earlier.

It was gone.

Her gun was missing.

Turning to Morgan quickly, she whispered, "Give me your gun."

He looked at her as if she had gone mad. "Derek, give me your gun, now!" Quickly, he thrust the cool metal into her waiting hands. Not bothering to stop to even think, Emily quickly jiggled the handle of the bathroom door only to find it locked. Bursting through the bathroom door, she found JJ fully clothed in the shower, her knees curled tightly against her chest. In her left hand, she cradled Emily's gun, caressing it gently with her right hand while tiny beads of water beat against her body.

"JJ—" Emily sighed feeling tears burn behind her eyes. Reaching over to turn off the water, she flinched as the ice cold stream hit her arm. Turning the knob to the side, Emily felt completely incapable of the task in front of her. Gently placing Morgan's gun on the counter, she crouched down next to JJ who, though trembling, hadn't moved since Emily had entered the room.

She hadn't even looked at Emily, which worried the seasoned profiler more than she would like to admit.

But right now, Emily had to focus on getting the wet gun out of JJ's shivering hands.

"Can you hand me the gun?" Emily asked softly, not wanting to startle JJ. She felt a wave of gratitude that she had removed the clip out of habit—otherwise this situation would have been a lot more dangerous. As it was, she had no idea what to say or do—the only thing she knew for certain was that she had to get the gun out of JJ's hands.

JJ's fingers simply traced the barrel of the gun in a circular motion while JJ stared at the gun as if Emily hadn't spoken.

After a moment, Emily tried again. "JJ, hand me the gun," She ordered more forcefully than before. Seeing that her words had little to no effect on the blonde, she tried again in Spanish, "give me the gun, JJ." She stated in a voice normally reserved for vile UnSubs.

She couldn't act fast enough as she saw the scene play out before her eyes.

JJ's fingers moved from where she had been tracing the barrel to the trigger. As if in slow motion, JJ pulled the trigger of the gun, the click of the empty gun reverberating in Emily's mind.

Finally, Emily caught up with the scene in front of her. Throwing her arms around the soaked woman, Emily pushed the gun in JJ's hands away from the trembling woman's body. Prying JJ's ice cold white knuckled grip off the cold metal, Emily kept her gaze focused on JJ for possible reactions.

"JJ?" She prodded softly, sliding the gun along the floor where it hit the wall with a thud. The sound brought Derek in, though he stopped at the threshold of the bathroom, unsure of whether or not his presence was welcome. She smiled gratefully before tipping her head slightly toward the trembling, frozen blonde. "JJ, Derek is going to lift you out of the tub." Sliding back to position herself between the bathtub and the toilet, she placed her hand on JJ's shoulder comfortingly. Seeing JJ shrink back slightly when Derek approached, Emily added, "I promise, it will be okay."

Trying to ignore the way JJ flinched as he approached, Derek quickly strode over to the two women intending to gently lift the shivering woman out of the bathtub. As he reached the porcelain lip, he knelt down purposefully slowing his movements so that JJ knew what was coming.

Lifting her out of the tub, both he and Emily were startled when JJ pounced forward in an attempt to lunge for the gun on the counter. Fortunately, Derek was faster than the weak and tired blonde and easily shifted his arms more securely around her. JJ's errant fist struck him lightly on the chest as she tried to grab the gun but he quickly shifted her weight against him pinning her left arm effectively against his own body.

Catching Emily's eyes, he strode purposefully out of the bathroom while Emily attempted to savage her water logged weapon.

Placing JJ gently on the bed, he quickly looked her over for injuries. Hotch would kill him if JJ caught a cold on top of some of her obvious other injuries.

Grimacing as he felt his cold shirt begin sticking tightly to his chest, he instantly removed the offending article of clothing mentally reminding himself to grab another shirt once Emily was done in the bathroom, completely oblivious to the reaction it would cause. Nothing could have prepared him for what would happen next.

JJ slid off the bed and avoided looking up at him as she knelt down and began gently fumbling at the zipper of his pants with fingers trembling heavily.

Frozen in shock, he could only stand there in a mixture surprise and horror.

Glancing up at him before ducking her head, JJ whispered so softly he could barely make out the words, "Por favor no me castiguen por golpear a usted. No era mi intención de desobedecer."

When JJ successfully managed to grab hold of his pant zipper, she pulled it downward and moved to start on his belt. The motion snapped Morgan to action. "What the hell, JJ!" He shouted, slapping JJ's hand away from him as he jerked back, his back slamming hard into the old television set.

JJ scrambled away to the nearest corner, pulling herself into a ball.

At the commotion, Emily burst out of the bathroom where she had been attempting to salvage her weapon. The first sight she caught was a shirtless Derek frantically attempting to zip up his pants with his fingers tripping over themselves as a soaking wet JJ huddled in the corner. Incensed, she whipped around, "What did you do to her, Derek?" She practically shouted.

"It wasn't me!" He held up his hands. "She just—she—" He was at a loss for words. "I didn't _do_ anything!" He insisted.

"You're half naked!" She spat in horror.

"I—My shirt was wet—Em, I swear—I didn't think—I swear to God, I didn't know—" He rubbed the back of his head, as the scene replayed in his mind. "She thought—Em, I'm sorry, but I swear—Shit, I didn't—" He rambled softly, horrified at what had just transpired.

Emily sighed, and looked at him apologetically, "Its okay Derek, I trust you." Turning toward the blonde she crouched down, careful not to get too close. "JJ, he didn't mean to."

JJ looked at her with doe eyes and hugged her knees tightly, "I didn't know. I'm sorry." She murmured in Spanish, rocking gently against the walls.

Rubbing her upper back in giant circles, in a desperate attempt at comforting her friend, Emily spoke soothing phrases that she easily recalled from her beloved childhood nanny. "Its okay now." She insisted.

Derek yanked his soaking shirt back over his chisled body, still utterly appalled by what had just transpired. "I'll call Hotch." He said softly, hoping not to startle JJ who was just beginning to calm.

"No" Emily shook her head intently, stopping him in his tracks while she continued to rub placating circles along JJ's upper back. "We can't—he can't know."

"Why the hell not?" He stepped back, "in case you didn't notice, we don't exactly have this situation under control."

"She's not a situation, Derek." Emily's eyes hardened and she could feel JJ's perplexed and calculating gaze upon her.

"That's not what I meant Em, and you know it." Derek's own eyes hardened at the suggestion. Emily, of all people, knew how desperately they all wanted to find JJ—Emily was the only person who knew he had been seeing a therapist for years—the insinuation that he didn't care stung a little more than he'd like to admit.

"If we tell Hotch," Emily mused after a moment, standing and slowly backing away from JJ who still held her knees tightly, "He'll tell the doctor—Derek, they'll commit her."

"Maybe that's a good thing." Derek offered softly, glancing at the trembling woman in the corner as evidence. "She is going to need a lot of help—Emily, I don't know that we—any of us—can give that to her. _Hell,_" he flung his hands up for emphasis, "we just found her playing with a gun in a bathtub—I don't know that _anyone_ can get her the help she needs."

"It wasn't loaded." Emily defended softly. "The gun wasn't loaded. Nothing happened."

"But what if it had been?" Derek retorted poignantly. "Emily," He sighed, "it's obvious she needs help and—"

"And what's going to happen when she's stuck in a hospital and some low-life working there tells her to take off her clothes?" Emily shot back, interrupting any argument he was going to make, "What happens Derek?"

Morgan grimaced, thinking back to the events that had just transpired. It made him feel sick at the realization that Emily was right. JJ had practically thrown herself at him when she thought that was what he wanted her to do. In the right circumstances, they could just be delivering JJ to another set of people who would simply take advantage of her. "Emily," He sighed already realizing somewhere he was fighting a losing battle, "We have to trust the professionals—not every stage of the system fails."

"_We_ couldn't find her. If we failed, maybe—" She trailed off in an almost whisper, "If she's in a hospital, whoever had her—they're going to come looking for her."

Derek paused thoughtfully, considering. Emily knew it wasn't fair, but she also knew the muscled man had been wracked with guilt ever since JJ's abduction—always wondering if he had gotten there faster, if maybe he could have stopped it from happening. With that weapon in her arsenal, she pushed forward. "Did she say anything to you?" She asked.

He nodded. "Umm," he tried to remember and separate the long string of words that had spewed out of JJ's mouth. "She said something about 'no canisterguen'…or maybe 'canstinguen'… 'castiguen'?" Seeing the recognition in Emily's eyes, he felt a surge of pride that he had at least gotten one word she recognized. "for—she said 'por gold pepper'?" He suggested.

"Golpear?" Emily's face fell at her own suggestion, but couldn't bear to let him in on it just yet, seeing him nod, she prodded. "What else?"

"Intent? I think I caught that word, and I think she said disobey, but I don't know." Seeing Emily turn away with tears pricking at her eyes, he felt the all too familiar sickening feeling that he probably didn't want to know what she was about to tell him. "What did she say Em?"

"I—" Emily's voice caught. "I can't be sure." She shrugged.

"Prentiss." His voice dropped with sincerity, "What'd she say?"

"I think she asked you not to punish her for _beating _you, she didn't mean to disobey." Emily translated reluctantly. "Derek—she just, she doesn't know—"

Holding up a hand, he relented, "Alright, we don't tell Hotch. But—Em, we can't leave her alone. Ever."

Emily nodded quickly, smiling with relief "I know."

"No." He shook his head emphatically, "I mean it. Emily, if she killed herself, I—I don't know that I could handle that."

Emily watched him closely, suddenly seeing a side of Derek Morgan that she had never considered. "I won't leave her alone."

"You have to let me know if she gets too much for you." Derek cautioned, "Even, I mean, I—we all—can help you with the pressure, but if it gets too bad, then we go to Hotch."

Seeing that this was likely the best condition she was going to get, she nodded softly. "If it gets too bad, we go to Hotch."

Derek nodded slowly in agreement, ignoring the pit in his stomach that cautioned him that this was a bad idea.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Suffice it to say, this is not the way that they should handle this. In no way should Emily and Derek EVER try to keep something like this from the doctors. Though they have good intentions, this is a mistake._


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: **_Thank you for the kind words and reviews of the last chapter. Thanks for reading!_

_For more information, please look at: __www [dot] freetheslaves [dot] net/Page [dot] aspx?pid=356; __aheartforjustice [dot] com; __www [dot] humantrafficking [dot] org/countries/united_states_of_america; __www [dot] youtube [dot] com/watch?v=KjttKoFWxv0_

* * *

Hotch knocked gently on the hotel room door, slightly disappointed that Derek was nowhere to be found. Hotch had stood guard outside JJ's room for a few moments while Derek had retrieved breakfast for him and Emily, and then Hotch had informed the younger man he'd return after running a short errand. It wasn't like Derek to shirk a protective assignment.

But the younger man was nowhere to be found.

Luckily, that disappointment quickly dissipated when Morgan answered the door. Feeling a wave of relief at the sight of JJ—showered and nervously nibbling on her thumbnail while she sat on the bed—he wondered why he even doubted his agents.

He stepped into the room, making sure to maintain enough of a distance that he wouldn't scare JJ too badly. "I spoke with the hospital," He said softly to the two profilers, not sure if JJ could hear him or if she was purposefully ignoring him, "they've got a bilingual specialist waiting for us. I briefed him on—" He jerked his head toward JJ. Pausing for just a second, he asked almost as an afterthought, "How was she, any problems?"

Emily and Derek exchanged guilty looks before Emily quickly responded. "No, everything's fine."

For a second, Hotch had a mind to push the issue further, but JJ's sharp intake of breath alerted him that she became aware of his presence. "Are you ready, JJ?" He smiled and asked the blonde kindly, feeling his stomach drop as she averted his gaze. Feeling the smile die on his lips, he stepped back toward the door, "We need to go."

All three agents were surprised as JJ quickly stood from the bed and limped toward the door. Ducking her head to avoid Hotch's shocked expression, she stopped just a few feet from where he stood with his hand still on the door handle.

Grimacing as he felt a sickening realization wash over him, he forced himself to focus on the matter at hand. Groaning, and knowing that he was going to hate himself for this later, he looked pointedly to the blonde, "JJ, Emily and Derek are going to help you to the elevators and we're going to the hospital, okay?"

JJ stared blankly for a few moments. When it was obvious that Hotch was waiting for an answer, she nodded slowly.

Twenty heart wrenching minutes later—only taking that long because they tried to match JJ's steps that slowed the closer they got to the hospital, Hotch sighed gratefully as they entered the hospital doors. Derek quickly stepped ahead to inform the hospital staff of JJ's arrival.

Seeing JJ's eyes dart around quickly, as if certain that an attack could come from any direction, he felt his own heart break. "JJ," The words died in his throat. Forcing himself to continue, he pushed the words out of his mouth, "I need you to let these doctors help you."

JJ nodded slowly to show her understanding, swiping at an errant tear with her trembling left hand.

Spying a woman quickly approaching with a wheelchair, he stepped back and grimaced as he noticed JJ's trembling increase.

Hopefully, this would all be over soon.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Suffice it to say, this will NOT be over soon._


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: **_So, I'm certain that some professionals out there are cringing at events that have occurred in the story thus far. Don't worry, I know. A lot of mistakes have been made by the profilers' so far, and now they're going to be chastized for it. Thanks to **littlegreenbottle **and **brynnifer **for beta'ing this and making it a lot better. Also, I will warn again, please mind the rating this chapter is a little heavy._

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Sitting in the hospital room, Emily placed her hand gently on JJ's hand, trying to calm the obviously terrified woman. Hotch stood patiently outside. Derek had quickly extracted himself, claiming that he would pick up Penelope himself and tell her the news. Emily was well aware, however, that he would likely be having a long talk with his therapist on the way there.

Emily felt her heart break as JJ desperately looked for any way to escape. When the short light haired male doctor that looked almost too young for his profession other than wisps of grey speckling his temples approached, JJ bit her fingernail nervously. "Good morning Jennifer, I'm Dr. Robert Nielsen," he glanced at Emily with understanding before looking back at JJ and speaking softly, "I have been briefed on what happened."

"No offense doctor," Emily spoke up, noticing JJ pull away slightly from the man who appeared completely harmless, "but JJ might be more comfortable with a woman—"

The doctor smiled kindly as he answered Emily's concern but directed it toward his actual patient, "I understand that you might feel that way, JJ. But I'm afraid some of these injuries need to be treated right now. We can talk about having a different long term doctor look after you, but—" He hesitated as JJ slowly slipped off the exam table and shrank back around Emily to the corner of the room, "But we need to start treating you immediately" He winced slightly as he could easily see the fear crossing his patient's face.

"JJ," Emily tried to force a patient tone into her voice, "JJ come sit on the table."

"Can I call you JJ?" Dr. Nielsen smiled at the trembling blonde and sat on a chair on the other side of the exam table that JJ had abandoned, "We're just going to look over some of the injuries. I heard those sores on your back probably hurt a lot."

JJ looked at him with wide eyes, apparently calculating the threat he posed to her. Suddenly, he surprised her as he smiled and repeated previous comment in Spanish, adding the simple instruction, "Can you come sit on the table?"

Seeing that JJ was on the verge of acquiescing, Emily remembered the blanket she had stashed in her purse. "JJ, if you come here," Her voice caught at the childish tactic, "I'll give you the blanket."

Reluctantly, JJ inched her way toward the table, doing anything she could to avoid catching the gaze of the doctor. Dr. Nielsen smiled patiently, nodding his approval with each step she took. When JJ reached the bed she made a weak attempt to step up to the exam table. Dr. Nielsen grimaced as he immediately noticed her displaced hip.

Emily quickly tried to help JJ up onto the table, but as she tried to lift JJ's nonexistent weight and avoid the numerous sores she had seen while she helped JJ redress, the task proved nearly impossible.

Slowly, Dr. Nielsen approached the struggling women. "JJ, I'd like to help you up on the bed, is that okay?" He asked, and then repeated the question in Spanish.

JJ bit her lip and nodded reluctantly. Dr. Nielsen quickly scooped up the trembling woman and placed her gently on the exam table. He waited a moment for her to get settled before speaking softly in Spanish and instructing, "Alright, first JJ, I need you to lift up your shirt so I can take a look at those injuries."

JJ grimaced as she slowly lifted the back of the medical scrubs she was wearing. Her own fear of hospitals was heightened by the memory she had been fighting in vain to keep at bay.

_She followed Manuel slowly into the small well-kept home, using her crutches as fast as she could to keep up with his strong strides. "Go to the basement." He ordered her in Spanish._

_She didn't bother to hesitate before reluctantly retreating to the one haven she could count on. Pulling herself down the stairs, she grimaced. Today, one thing was certain: She was going to be punished._

_And it was going to be bad._

_What felt like an eternity later, Manuel gradually descended the stairs with a bubbling liquid in his gloved hands, "Alejandra—" He started, shaking his head. For a moment, she felt her stomach lurch at the sight of the disappointment in his eyes, "they almost found you."_

_She ducked her head, her face flushing at his obvious disappointment. "I'm sorry." She murmured, hoping that her Spanish hadn't contained any imperfections that might add to her deserved consequence. She fingered the new cast on her leg, realizing that this could be even worse than she originally thought._

_He sighed reluctantly, "If they find you, I won't be able to protect your family anymore—that little boy on the news—it would be a shame to see something happen to him."_

_JJ froze. She had long ago given up on the notion that her team was going to find her, and Manuel had repeatedly reminded her that the only thing that protected Henry and Will from the monsters that Manuel couldn't completely control was her cooperation. "I know." She bit her lip, anxiously awaiting her punishment._

_"Lift up your shirt." He instructed quietly. She had learned long ago not to mistake the softness in his voice for any type of weakness._

_"Please, I won't do it again." She pleaded as he stepped toward her cowering frame. "Please Manuel—I promise."_

_He stopped and she instantly regretted her attempts to convince him to change his mind, "Are you questioning my judgment Alejandra?"_

_"No. I'm sorry." She answered quickly, lifting her shirt immediately to show her obedience. "I'm sorry."_

_He sighed overtly, "Alejandra, you almost let the hospital staff take you away. You know that. You know what you are supposed to do if you get taken to the hospital." He shook his head in obvious disappointment. _

_"I know, I'm sorry." JJ fought a tear as she mentally berated herself for how stupid she could have been. She knew better, no wonder Manuel was disappointed._

_"What are you supposed to do?" Manuel asked condescendingly, giving her an opportunity to show she really wasn't so careless._

_JJ shrugged, slightly afraid to answer._

_"Answer me Alejandra. What is the rule?" Manuel asked seriously. "What are you supposed to do?" _

_"Anything I can to get out of the hospital." JJ shirked meekly._

_"You have to do **everything** you can not to draw attention to yourself. If you get separated from me or one of my friends, you **have** to get away as quickly as possible. You say you know this, but you keep making mistakes." Manuel looked at her with cold eyes, "Do you think I like punishing you?"_

_"No." She replied softly, knowing how much he hated when she didn't answer his questions, but also knowing that if she said too much she would be undermining his authority._

_"Do you deserve to be punished?" He asked, obviously frustrated with her inability to learn._

_"Yes, sir." She was trembling now, and cursed herself at her weakness._

_"So what do you want me to do?" He smiled kindly, and JJ knew the answer she needed to give. Somewhere inside her, something told her it wasn't the answer she wanted to give, but she also desperately craved Manuel's approval._

_"Punish me." She glanced up at him reluctantly, seeing his cold glare, she added, "Please Manuel."_

_Nodding, he stepped toward her and exposed her lower back, "When they brought you to me, I allowed you to be marked as my property—something that I promised to take care of despite your inadequacies." _

_JJ nodded, watching his every movement with scared eyes. _

_"The way you are acting—" He shook his head sadly, "You have shown that you don't deserve that distinction. Maybe when you prove to me that I should protect you, I'll give you back my brand."_

_She nodded, tears rolling down her eyes as she came to understand what the bubbling liquid in his hand was for. _

_"Take the cup," He instructed, extending the glass cup toward her. "And pour it over my mark."_

_Resignedly, she took the glass and bit her lip with full realization of how badly this was going to hurt. Glancing up at Manuel for approval, she hesitated as she held the cup over her long-healed mark. Seeing Manuel nod slowly, she quickly tipped the glass in her hand rapidly pouring the liquid on her own back. She hissed at the initial contact, screaming once the fiery hot pain inflamed at her side. _

_Manuel watched as she cradled her new injury, the chemical bubbling and burning her skin to cover her previous mark. He paused, waiting patiently for her cries to subside. _

_As soon as she could think coherently, she winced as she noticed Manuel still standing over her. Sniffling, she glanced up at him. "Thank you." She murmured, "thank you Manuel."_

_"You're welcome Alejandra." He smiled softly._

"JJ—" Emily prodded softly as she saw JJ's face drain of color, keeping her voice low in an attempt not to scare her friend, "it will be okay."

JJ glanced at her, unsure of how she was supposed to respond as she felt the doctor gently apply a new bandage over her sore injuries.

Dr. Nielsen gently pulled JJ's shirt down. "I'm going to take you for a scan to look at that hip, JJ. It looks like it still hurts. But first, I want to give you this." He offered a small Staple's Easy Button which she took reluctantly. "I know you might not like talking right now, but I don't want you to get hurt. Now if at any time, you feel pain, or if you start to feel uncomfortable, I need you to let me know—do you understand?" He quickly repeated the statement in Spanish, knowing full well the woman could understand both languages but wanting to do anything he could to make her comfortable.

JJ nodded almost imperceptibly, glancing down at the item in her hands with mild curiosity.

He quickly wheeled her bed down the hall, speaking softly both in Spanish and English along the way. Emily felt a surge of relief at how easily this doctor seemed to pacify JJ. He seemed not to even notice Hotch and Emily at his heels, but JJ also seemed moderately put at ease with the stranger.

Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

Pushing quickly through the MRI doors, Emily was slightly surprised to see a professional middle aged woman already waiting for them. "Hi JJ, I'm Laurie Munroe. You can call me Laurie. Dr. Nielsen thought that all of these machines might be a lot to handle. Is it okay if I stay in here with you?" She quickly repeated her introduction in Spanish and smiled softly.

JJ looked at Hotch with trepidation. Hotch nodded slowly, reluctant to even moderately reinforce the idea in JJ's mind that she needed his permission—but that would have to be something he addressed later.

Right now, he had to make sure she was going to be okay.

JJ slowly shrugged noncommittally, and Laurie's smiled widened. "JJ," Dr. Nielsen spoke up, "I'm going to leave Laurie here to let you know what is happening, while your friends and I wait outside, is that okay?" He stooped down in an attempt to finally catch her eye.

After he gave JJ an adequate time to protest, he grinned softly. "We'll be right outside."

Holding the door open for the two agents, Emily was surprised to see the warm smile he had treated JJ with quickly disappear. "Agents." He gestured to the door he was holding open, leaving little room for argument."

"Agent Prentiss, Agent Hotchner" The doctor addressed her for the first time as soon as the doors closed behind him. She was shocked to see a coldness darken his bright blue eyes, "I won't beat around the bush, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Excuse me." Hotch said coldly, startled by the doctor's abrupt change in demeanor. "I hardly think this is the time—"

"This is precisely _the time._" The young doctor spat, "That woman should have been brought here on a medical transport. We should have started treatment _hours ago_."

"We had a jet waiting." Hotch explained with calculated gruffness. "A medical transport would have taken too much time."

"Too much time for her to be treated by professionals?" Dr. Nielsen asked in disbelief, "So you _forced_ doctors in a po-dunk clinic to go against procedure and release her into your _incapable_ hands?"

"I don't need you questioning my judgment." Hotch bit out angrily.

"And _not only that_, but then you didn't even bring her in right away? You _waited_ to bring her to the hospital? I ask again, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Hotch looked at Emily, a triumphant glint in his eyes as he gestured for her to attempt to explain her reasoning, "We felt it was best for her to get some rest—" Emily began to explain.

"Do you have any idea how sick that woman is?" He asked incredulously, "If you had brought her in any later, I would have called Adult Protective Services and reported both of you to the authorities."

Emily stepped back, slightly taken aback that this younger man was so livid with her and Hotch. Dr. Nielsen's nostrils flared angrily and a large vein began to bulge along his forehead. "This is _neglect_-"

"Neglect?" Emily said incredulously, "She's a grown woman, and we—"

"Neglect!" Dr. Nielsen looked at them in disbelief, "Jennifer Jareau weighs 92 pounds. 92 pounds!" He smiled triumphantly as Emily's jaw dropped in shock. "She can barely function for herself. Neglect can be against children, the elderly, or the disabled. Any doctor in their right mind would classify her as disabled."

Hotch rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully, thrown at the realization that JJ classified as disabled. Intellectually, he had just finished making the same argument to a judge before he had come to the hotel room, but to hear someone else confirm it—it was a little more than he could handle.

"This is neglect—pure and simple, bordering on abuse." Dr. Nielsen added for emphasis.

"Wait a minute." Hotch stepped in, unwilling to let the doctor's suggestion go uncontested. "I don't like the insinuation of abuse. We came as soon as we thought—"

"I could give a rat's ass what you care about." Dr. Nielsen spat, "That woman can barely function, and you _delayed_ bringing her to a hospital. Tell me, do you think that as an FBI Agent you're qualified to administer for Ms. Jareau's needs?"

"No." Hotch admitted, his stoic face frozen in place at the suggestion that he hadn't made the decisions in JJ's best interest. "I hardly think—"

"And that's the problem!" Dr. Nielsen hissed angrily. Emily's jaw dropped incredulously as she saw him turn back towards the window looking into the MRI room and smile back at JJ who had been watching them nervously. As soon as his angry disposition had vanished, it was back again, "I don't care who the hell you think you are, but if you have her best interest at heart—it sure doesn't show."

"We're her friends." Emily spoke up, "we—" The excuse died on her lips as she watched JJ lay on the slab for the MRI machine. While she appeared nervous, she was at least still lying on the gurney.

"Some friends." Dr. Nielsen snorted in derision.

"_Agent_ Jareau is in federal custody." Hotch retorted firmly. "As soon as this test is done, we'll be taking her—"

"The hell you will!" Dr. Nielsen snapped, jabbing his finger in Hotch's direction, he spat "You may be a federal agent, but _Agent_ Jareau is my patient. If I feel that she needs to stay in the hospital indefinitely for the remainder of her recovery, that's _my_ decision."

"It won't be much longer." Hotch promised angrily. "We'll find her someone who is more suited for her needs."

"Good luck finding another bilingual orthopedic surgeon that specializes with victims of violence." Dr. Nielsen replied, obviously annoyed, "And until you do, this is still _my decision."_

"A decision I would more than gladly take up with your superiors." Hotch retaliated. "She was just rescued from what we believe is a Mexican drug cartel. She still may be in danger." He added the last part softly, smirking inwardly as he watched the doctor's face fall a fraction from its moral high ground.

Dr. Nielsen sighed resignedly, "I can't give you any information on her condition, but—"

Hotch interrupted him by shoving papers in his direction, "I was appointed her guardian this morning. When your lab called and confirmed the blood tests, I spoke to a judge and with the affidavits of the doctors that treated her in Arizona, he granted me temporary guardianship."

Looking through the papers, Dr. Nielsen fought the urge to groan. He didn't like handing this woman back over to her friends if they weren't going to take her needs into account, but there wasn't much he could do about it.

"Guardian?" Emily sputtered, looking at Hotch in horror. "How could you do that?"

Hotch rolled his eyes, but felt some need to explain in a hushed whisper, "Without one, who is to stop this Manuel character, or anybody else for that matter, from just checking her out of the hospital?"

"He's right" Dr. Nielsen sighed reluctantly, handing the paperwork back to Hotch. "Without these, he technically could not force her to be treated. She could walk out the door at any time."

Hotch nodded grimly, unable to ignore the similarity between his new role in JJ's life and the way JJ currently perceived him. But, he reasoned, his first priority was to help JJ get better. Everything else would come later.

The last thing he wanted was to force JJ to do anything—but right now, he wasn't sure she could make decisions for herself, let alone take care of herself.

Hearing JJ's state, the judge who owed him a favor had readily agreed.

"Right now, I'm checking the hip injury, but from just seeing her put a little weight on it earlier—it appears that it was dislocated and improperly reset. While we've got her in the chamber, we'll also check for any brain damage as a precaution." Dr. Nielsen informed cautiously.

"Brain damage?" Emily spoke up with concern.

Dr. Nielsen's begrudging attitude quickly disappeared and he looked to Emily kindly, "Like I said, it's just a precaution. Since she's not speaking, and according to what I've gathered from our" He looked at Hotch, who nodded in confirmation, "conversation earlier and the conversation I had with Dr. Martinez last night, we're still not certain what happened over the last three years. It would be foolish of us to not take a look, just to be sure that the cause is a purely emotional one."

Emily nodded, biting her lip as she fought to keep her emotions at bay. What more could go wrong?

"She'll need to be admitted for long-term care." Dr. Nielsen added, his words cutting both profilers as they realized the severity of JJ's injuries.

Hotch grimaced, but looked over at Emily in surprise as she spoke up firmly. "No."

"Prentiss, she—"

"Hotch, we don't know who's out there. She's been missing for three years." Emily bit her lip, knowing the words she was about to speak were below the belt, but were calculated to get her desired result. "But what happens when some janitor comes in claiming to be her master?"

Hotch's face dropped at the gentle reminder of his earlier colossal error. "She needs help Emily." Hotch uncharacteristically choked down the emotion that rose within him. "Where is she supposed to go?"

"I'll take her. We can help her, Hotch. I can take her to appointments. Strauss already gave me leave." She responded hopefully.

"There are security protocols to protect victims—" Dr. Nielsen attempted to explain, but Hotch shook his head decisively.

"We'll be taking her home as soon as possible." Hotch waved off the doctor's protests.

Dr. Nielsen grimaced, "You'll have to sign an AMA Waiver saying you understand you're signing her out against medical advice. She really should be treated in a hospital." He added, praying these agents would change their mind.

"We can handle it." Emily insisted, looking over Dr. Nielsen's shoulder to where JJ was stepping off the bed of the MRI machine. "We have to."


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: **_ Thanks to **littlegreenbottle **and **brynnifer **for beta'ing this and making it a lot better. _

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"Where is she?" Garcia burst through the door to the hotel room lobby where Morgan had said Hotch would be. "Why did I find out _ten minutes ago_ that you found her when you've known for an _entire day_?" She barrelled toward Hotch on a war path.

"We had to be sure Garcia." Hotch smirked, only slightly frightened as he watched Penelope readjust her black bobbed wig. "Is everything okay?"

Garcia waved him off, creaking her neck in annoyance, "The media is out there like baby birds trying to fight for the worm from the mama bird, but I pushed through them just fine."

Hotch chuckled at the image of Garcia forcefully pushing the press out of the way, and smiled appreciatively. "Morgan?" He asked, surprised that the muscular man wasn't at Penelope's heels.

"He's coming. He decided to fall behind with Agent Rossi and Reid." Again, she waved him off as she plopped down in the couch next to him. "Now where is she?"

"Why don't I wait until everyone's here?" He suggested, smirking softly.

"But she's okay?" Garcia's eyes were desperate for any morsel of information. Hotch couldn't help but relent.

Hotch nodded slowly, unsure of how to accurately define JJ's condition. "She's alive."

Tears sprang to Garcia's eyes as she felt the floodgates of her emotions release. While seeing JJ was the next important step, just knowing she was alive was better than any Christmas present she could have gotten.

The trio of male agents quickly darted inside the room, slamming the door behind them. "They're like animals out there!" Derek exclaimed, his eyes wide as he panted with relief.

"JJ had a lot of friends in the media—" Spencer tried to explain, slightly out of breath himself. Tucking his shirt back in and readjusting his tie, he breathed a sigh of relief to have crossed the great sea of reporters that lined the entrance to the hotel.

"They're just as worthless as they've always been." Dave rolled his eyes.

"Now will you tell me where she is?" Penelope asked impatiently. "Hotch—it's been three years, I think we've waited long enough." She begged.

Hotch smiled easily for a moment, relieved that they had found her. Then, the memory of JJ's current state struck him, wiping all joy from his face. "Blood tests confirmed—the woman Prentiss and I picked up yesterday is JJ."

"I knew it! I knew we'd find her!" Garcia half-squealed, half-sobbed as tears of gratitude and relief washed down her face in a great torrent. Dave ducked his head in a quick silent prayer as Reid smiled broadly.

Caught up in the joy of the moment, Garcia grabbed the other men in a large hug, bounding with joy that her friend had been found. "We found her!"

Noticing that Morgan grimaced at Garcia's exuberance, and well aware that Hotch still had more to say, Rossi quickly pulled away.

"Where's Will?" Reid asked, looking around for the familiar face that usually joined them on anything related to JJ.

"I haven't called him yet." Hotch admitted reluctantly, "he took Henry back up to Pennsylvania for the weekend to finish up some final things." Hotch grimaced at the thought of calling Will to let him know. It wasn't that he intended on keeping the other man out of the loop, he just wasn't sure how JJ would respond.

"For JJ's parents? I thought their funeral was a few days ago?" Rossi asked, searching Hotch for any response. "Don't you think he'd want to hear the good news?" He suggested carefully.

Hotch shook his head. "I think JJ's going to need a little time."

"Hotch, what aren't you saying?" Dave asked, feeling the familiar sense of foreboding return. Hotch was hedging the question, and Derek had conspicuously avoided spilling any information on JJ's condition during the drive to the hotel. Something was wrong.

Hotch grimaced, "We found her." He nodded, "now we need to find out who did this to her."

"What do you mean 'who did this to her'?" Garcia asked skeptically. "Hotch, we _found _her. She's alive!"

Hotch sighed, "I want you to all be prepared for the sight that will greet you. She might be agitated—or confused—possibly even scared." He watched as his words failed to sink in to the others. "I don't know how she'll respond."

"Hotch, why would JJ be scared of us?" Reid asked, pleading inwardly that his worst suspicions would not be realized.

"Right now, JJ has yet to speak a word to someone other than Emily. Even when she's spoken to Emily, it's always been in Spanish." He grimaced as he saw the flash of understanding followed by horror pass over both Reid and Rossi's eyes.

Derek nodded slowly, "She's real bad."

"You mean you've seen her?" Garcia turned to him incredulously, whipping around to Hotch, her eyes narrowed angrily, "Why did he get to see her first?" She accused, "You should have called me. I—"

Holding up his hand to quiet what he was sure was about to turn into a long, heartfelt monologue, Hotch forced patience into his voice he didn't feel, "Before I let you all see JJ, I have to know you can handle it. It will be quite a shock."

"I don't _care_ if it's a shock, I need to see her now!" Penelope demanded. "She needs me!"

"She's not here." Hotch confessed reluctantly, avoiding the fury that splashed across Garcia's face. "She's at Emily's. She's going to stay with Emily for a while."

"Then let's go! Why are we waiting here?" Penelope stood and was almost out the door before she realized no one was following her.

Derek stopped her before she left the room entirely, "Baby Girl, wait." He pulled her gently back into the room, "we're still not sure who had her—" He started, choking at the memory of the bright eyed kid now stuffed in a jail cell twenty miles away, "Hotch called us all here as a diversion—we don't want to tip our hand."

"Like poker." Reid suggested, hoping his metaphor would help Garcia understand, "or a magic trick. If we're all here at the hotel, anyone still looking for JJ will think she's here."

"But I need to be _there_." Penelope stated adamantly. Seeing that Hotch wasn't about to let her leave quite yet, she huffed down into the seat she had just vacated.

"You owe me big time, Aaron Hotchner." She groaned crossing her arms over her chest in defiance. "Big time."


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: **_Thanks to **littlegreenbottle **and **brynnifer **for beta'ing this and making it a lot better. Also, thanks to those who reviewed the last couple chapters. I am not one to beg for reviews, but I love knowing what you think of the chapters. Most importantly, I love knowing if people pick up on subtle hints that are going to make it into later chapters. There are a couple of flags in this chapter that are going to be fairly major plot points of the story._

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"Alright JJ," The social worker took off her glasses and smiled kindly, "it looks like everything is in order. Is this somewhere you would like to stay?" The social worker asked gently in English, followed with the Spanish equivalent to the woman across the room. She could feel Emily stiffen beside her as they waited anxiously for any response.

JJ shook her head slowly, and the smile on the Laurie's face died instantly. "Why not?" She asked, shooting Emily a questioning look.

JJ shrugged noncommittally.

"JJ, you don't have to stay here if you don't want to. But I need you to tell me why you don't want to stay with Emily." Laurie prodded, reiterating her command in Spanish in an attempt to let JJ know that she wouldn't accept anything less than a clear answer.

JJ ducked her head, nervously chewing on her left thumbnail. "Manuel." She answered after a moment.

Laurie placed a hand gently on Emily's knee, attempting to stop the other woman who had been about to rush to JJ's side. "What about Manuel? Do you miss Manuel?" Once again immediately repeating her words in the only language JJ seemed to respond to. Though it took more time, it was far more important that JJ not only understand her, but not see her as a threatening presence.

JJ shook her head slowly, glancing at the other women to gauge their reactions.

The social worker rubbed her chin thoughtfully, "Why don't you miss Manuel?" She asked, quickly translating her query. Seeing JJ's shrug, she pushed slightly in an attempt to draw the information from the unwilling woman. "Did Manuel hurt you?"

JJ shrugged almost imperceptibly, though she quickly—almost involuntarily—shook her head.

Laurie grimaced inwardly at the contradictory response—an indicator that this man had indeed inflicted at least some harm on the broken woman. Laurie sighed, running a hand through her short dark hair. While Agent Prentiss's condo seemed like a healthy environment for JJ, the last thing she wanted to do was force JJ to go to a place she didn't want to go.

"JJ, would Manuel want you to stay here?" Laurie asked.

JJ shook her head immediately, and surprisingly spoke up quietly, "No."

"Why not?" Laurie smiled encouragingly, hoping to get another vocal response from the blonde.

"Él vendrá a buscarme." JJ muttered so softly the other women had to strain to hear.

Emily looked between the interaction of JJ and the social worker nervously. Between arguing with Hotch to allow JJ to stay with her, and trying to stay by JJ's side, the thought that JJ might not want to stay with her hadn't even crossed her mind.

"Do you want him to come for you?" Laurie asked, trying to get down to the bottom of why JJ wouldn't want to stay with her supposed friend.

JJ shook her head quickly and began to breathe rapidly in fear. "No. No. No—" She murmured, looking around frantically as if Manuel would pop out at any moment.

Realizing that her client was close to her limit, and sensing she had somehow touched a nerve, Laurie tried to change her questioning. She waited for a moment for JJ to calm slightly before asking and quickly translating as she had done before, "JJ, do you feel like you are safe here with Emily?"

JJ hesitated for a minute before nodding slowly.

Emily sighed with relief at JJ's answer.

Laurie pressed forward, pleased that she had at least found the issue they could begin tiptoeing around. "JJ, is this a place where you would have liked to stay before you went with Manuel?"

JJ bit her lip and eyed the two women cautiously, nodding with only a slight hesitation.

"Okay." Laurie thought hard for how she was going to get a genuine response out of the blonde, "If you could stay anywhere in the world, where would it be?"

JJ shrunk back slightly, "Con Manuel."

Emily gaped, but Laurie seemed to take the answer in stride. "You can't stay with Manuel, JJ. Where else?"

JJ shrugged, fingering the sling that kept her right arm immobile. "Con Emily."

"So why don't you want to stay here?" Laurie asked confused.

JJ shrugged noncommittally, and Laurie sighed waiting expectantly for a response. "Why don't you want to stay with Emily?" She repeated.

"Ella no es seguro." JJ whispered in Spanish. "Soy peligrosa."

"I'm not sure?" Emily spoke up in English, surprised at JJ's insinuation. "JJ, of course I'm sure that I want you to stay with me."

Laurie gave Emily a stern look, before relaxing slightly "Seguro— 'sure', but also 'safe'. I think she meant 'safe'. She doesn't think you are _safe_." Laurie explained softly. Dropping her voice so only Emily could hear, she added, "Please, let me do my job." Turning back to JJ, she leaned forward. "JJ, why do you say you are dangerous?"

"Manuel viene a por mi." JJ whispered.

Laurie sat for a moment, slightly heartbroken for her client. "Emily's not safe because Manuel is coming for you?" She asked, finally understanding what was holding JJ back.

JJ nodded slowly.

"JJ, does Manuel know where you're at?" Laurie pressed gently.

JJ shrugged.

"JJ, have you seen Manuel?" The social worker continued to push the issue.

Both Laurie and Emily's jaws dropped as JJ nodded slowly.

"Where did you see Manuel?" Laurie asked, silencing the FBI Agent with her eyes. The fact she was getting JJ to respond was in itself a victory. But knowing she might be able to acquire information of this woman's tormentors would be nothing short of miraculous.

JJ shrugged and turned away from the women, obviously uncomfortable with the question.

Knowing that the possibility of JJ still being in danger outweighed any other concerns, Laurie persisted, "JJ, did you see Manuel on the plane?"

JJ clutched her legs tighter to her chest and stared ahead as if she hadn't heard the question.

Repeating her question, Laurie groaned as JJ refused to even acknowledge the question.

"Where else was she?" Laurie asked Emily out of the side of her mouth.

"We found her at the hospital in Arizona, then we flew here and we took her to a hotel. Then we went to the hospital this morning." Emily replied, gaping in shock at the idea that JJ's tormentor had come close enough that JJ had seen him.

"JJ, did you see Manuel at any of these places?" Laurie reiterated, translating her question immediately.

She pursed her lips tightly as the blonde remained unresponsive. Sighing, she decided to let go of the Manuel issue for the moment. "JJ, Emily here would like to stay with you here at her house. Is that okay?"

JJ turned as Laurie translated her question into Spanish, and hesitated for a moment before nodding slowly.

"Good." Laurie said softly as she smiled brightly. "Now, if you don't mind sitting here for a minute, Emily and I need to discuss some things, okay?"

Emily quickly stood and moved over to her kitchen where she and Laurie could sit and talk at the counter. She motioned to the other woman who smiled and sat down next to her. Laurie ran a hand through her short dark hair, "Agent Prentiss, I'm not about to tell you that this is going to be easy. The next few months, maybe _years_ will be full of appointments, goals, schedules—it's a lot to handle."

"I know." Emily quickly stopped her. "But I need to do this," She shook her head in soft correction, "I want to do this for JJ."

Laurie studied Emily's face and eventually nodded. "We both know that the reason that I'm here right now is to make sure that this is a safe place for JJ." Emily nodded quickly in agreement. "But Emily, this also has to be right for you. If you can't handle this, JJ would be better off in a hospital somewhere."

Emily shook her head emphatically. "We don't know if she's still in danger. And even then, I'm not giving up on her."

"If you ever decide that you _can't_ handle it," Laurie interjected, correcting quickly, "no one would think that you were giving up on her. JJ needs a solid stable environment right now."

"I know." Emily nodded quickly, "that's exactly what she'll have."

Pausing for a moment, as if to give Emily the chance to reconsider, Laurie pulled out a large folder, "Then here are some things that we need to go over. I'll give this to you, it's just a folder so that you can keep track of everything."

Emily smiled with relief. She knew that the only way this woman could refuse to let JJ stay in her care was if she thought JJ was a danger to herself or others, or if she could be neglected or abused in some way. Feeling that vote of confidence, even if it was just implied, inflated her worn psyche. "Like what?"

Turning to the first page, Laurie didn't need to look down to know what was contained there. Emily could quickly see that this woman was not only experienced, but she was good at her job, "These are emergency contact numbers. You'll see mine is here. I've included Dr. Nielsen's, though he told me you might want to find another doctor."

Emily nodded and Laurie continued, "Just so you know, he's _great_ at what he does. I wish every doctor was like him." Smirking, she added, "I heard him laying into you and your coworker earlier—"

Emily chuckled at that description, "That's one way of saying it." She replied sardonically.

Laurie smiled apologetically, "He's just been through a lot recently and victims of violence get to him."

"Why?" Emily prodded curiously.

"That's not my place to tell." Laurie shrugged apologetically, "Now, I've listed here a list of references for psychiatrists. Dr. Nielsen also gave me a list of Physical Therapists—JJ will need one she's comfortable with."

"He said starting next week?" Emily asked, hoping she was remembering right. "That she needed to let her leg heal?"

Laurie nodded, having sat in on Dr. Nielsen's instructions after he reset JJ's hip. "That's what he said. If you have any questions, you can give him a call. He's horrible at calling people back, so just keep calling him until he answers."

Emily smiled, grateful for that piece of inside information. Laurie turned the page of the large folder, "Now you'll see that you've got space for putting in JJ's improvements, her schedules, goals for the week, etc."

Looking over at Emily sadly, she added, "I'm sure the doctors have talked to you about getting her to eat, but start off small. If you try to force her to eat too much right off the bat, it could kill her."

A look of horror crossed over Emily's face at the social worker's bluntness.

Laurie grimaced apologetically, but continued on her informational setting. "Start off with a lot of options, but don't expect her to eat a lot. She obviously needs to eat something, but just start off slow."

Emily nodded and gulped as she felt the weight of the situation being placed squarely on her shoulders.

Flipping to another page in the book, Laurie's voice dropped softly, "Now for JJ's protection, you're going to have to keep certain things away from her."

Emily nodded, easily remembering the incident that just happened that morning, "I have a gun safe," She blurted out.

Laurie smiled encouragingly, "That's good. But it's not just guns. I've seen the marks on her wrists, so I would advise you to move all of the knives: hide them, lock them up, or even better—get rid of them entirely. Pills should be locked away."

"Pills?" Emily asked, feeling slightly overwhelmed.

Seeing the familiar signs that this was all becoming a little too much, Laurie smiled comfortingly, "It's okay. It's just that when women commit suicide, they usually use pills or something like that. Since JJ has an obvious history of slitting her wrists—what appears to have been multiple times—I'd watch out for the knives. It's less common for a woman to attempt suicide with a gun, but still entirely possible." At the odd look on the other woman's face, Laurie pressed for more information, "Why? Has JJ done anything that indicates she might be prone to suicidal tendencies?"

Emily shook her head quickly—too quickly for the other woman's adept lie detection skills to be settled with that answer.

Searching Emily's face for any signs of deception, she eventually relented. "Alright. If she started exhibiting signs that she might try and commit suicide, call me immediately." She flipped back to the first page and pointed to her phone number, "I need to know that you can do that."

Emily nodded, "Of course I can."

Laurie smirked, "Will you?"

The question threw Emily for a minute, knowing that she was deceiving this woman right now by not informing her of the incident that morning. Emily nodded, "Yeah, I will."

Smiling, Laurie stood. "Good. I'll keep in touch with all of her doctors—that way I can keep everyone on the same page. I'll set up appointments to meet with JJ weekly."

Emily smiled gratefully, "thank you for your help."

Laurie waved her off, "It's my job to help. Let me say goodbye to JJ, and I'll be out of your hair for a little while at least."

A sharp knock, followed by Garcia's abrupt entrance surprised the two women in the kitchen.

"Where is she!" Garcia demanded, dropping several large bags on the floor as soon as she spied JJ on the couch.

"Penelope—wait!" Emily grabbed her arm quickly, pulling Garcia back from running to JJ who still sat huddled on the couch. "You're going to scare her."

"I'm as gentle as a kitten." Garcia snorted good-naturedly, "If Hotch didn't scare her, then I'm not going to."

Emily glanced to Laurie who crossed her arms in amusement and shrugged. "She has a point." Laurie smirked, well remembering the intimidating man she had met only a few hours ago.

"Just—" Emily tried to caution but couldn't find the words to describe the way she felt JJ needed to be handled, "Just be careful."

Shirking Emily's hand from her shoulder, Garcia smiled triumphantly. "I brought presents!"

Laurie smiled and picked up her bag, "I think that's my cue to leave. I'll keep in touch." Stepping around the couch to where she knew JJ could see her, she smiled warmly. "Goodbye JJ, I'll probably see you tomorrow." Quickly striding back towards the door, she paused for just a moment before whispering to the eclectic FBI tech, "you're just what she needs, but you might want to approach slowly" before letting herself out.

Almost faster than the speed of light, Garcia forced herself to slow down as she took her place at JJ's side, "Pumpkin!" She exclaimed with tears in her eyes as she enveloped JJ in a warm hug. She choked as she felt JJ stiffen at the contact, but refused to relent until JJ relaxed. It took only a few seconds before JJ breathed a quick sigh and relaxed in Garcia's arms. "I brought you something Gumdrop," She blinked back tears at JJ's appearance and quickly gestured for Emily to bring the bags that were discarded by the front door.

"Hotch—he said he was going to stop by your old apartment for some clothes—but I thought you might like some comfy jammies and treats to get you through until then."

Emily plopped down on the couch across from the other women, watching Garcia pull out a wide range of pajama sets—varying from large thick sweats, to a bright neon green set with giant yellow fireworks.

"Hotch told me you had lost a little weight." Garcia explained as she draped a bright pink t-shirt over the pile on JJ's lap. "So I figured I'd get you some of _every _size. Just to be safe." She patted JJ's leg comfortingly. "I'll bet you'll be glad to get out of these ugly drab hospital scrubs." She insisted, pulling a face at JJ's maroon garb.

JJ intently traced the starred pajamas, awed at the warmth the light fabric provided.

"Aaand—" Garcia bounced in her seat excitedly, "I found this!" She shoved the small packaged item into JJ's hands.

"What's that?" Emily scoffed at Penelope's excitement.

JJ held it up, her eyebrow arched perplexedly as she studied the small package in her hands. "A nightlight?" Emily looked to Garcia quizzically, completely flabbergasted that the tech would have gotten JJ such an appropriate gift without knowing it. Emily couldn't easily forget the night before in the hotel room, and felt a burst of pride at Garcia's thoughtfulness.

"Not just any nightlight—" Garcia snatched the item out of JJ's hands, turning it over for Emily to see, "A LAVA LAMP nightlight." She squealed excitedly. Opening the package in one swift motion, she held the light out to JJ. "When I saw it, it just spoke to me. How cool is that?"

"Pretty cool." Emily nodded, forcing her emotions aside as she remembered JJ's horror the night before.

For now JJ was home, and that had to be enough.

* * *

Translations:

Él vendrá a buscarme." - He will come looking for me.

Con Manuel/Emily - With Manuel/Emily

"Ella no es seguro." - She is not safe. (Though, as I point out in the story, 'seguro' means certain, safe, sure, etc.)

"Soy peligrosa." - I am dangerous.

"Manuel viene a por mi." - Manuel is coming for me.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:**_ Sp__ecial thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: crazyobsession101; canny-bairn; reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that._

* * *

The four male profilers sitting around the conference table looked at the stack of files with trepidation.

"That's her medical file?" Reid asked, gesturing to the stack in the middle of the table. "One of us is going to have to look through it."

Rossi groaned, fully aware that the horrors contained in this file would me much more than he wanted to know. Slowly picking a file from the top, he grimaced as he reluctantly opened it. The others slowly followed his lead, each selecting his own file.

"Damn" Morgan breathed as he avoided looking at the photos cataloguing JJ's injuries.

Rossi ran his fingers through his hair as he shook his head in horror. "How could someone do this?" He murmured.

"The victim appears to have suffered severe abuse." Reid spoke up. Each of the other men shared a glance at his attempt to distance the file in front of him from the woman he had known for years. "Multiple injuries to her legs—"

"To stop her from running" Hotch interrupted softly.

Reid proceeded as if Hotch hadn't spoken, "The labs show the victim suffers from untreated Gonorrhea, Herpes, Chlamydia, Scabies…" He trailed off as he turned the page and read at lightning speed. "And that's just for starters."

"This guy's a pure sadist." Derek shook his head sadly as he quickly flipped through the pictures cataloguing the burns on JJ's back.

"I don't think so." Hotch disagreed. Looking up from the file, he was met with the surprised looks from his colleagues and explained. "None of her injuries appear to be for the sole purpose of hurting her."

Rossi's brow furrowed as he skimmed the file once more. "Bite marks. She was bitten by a dog." He shuddered. "That seems pretty sadistic to me."

"Not to mention the fact that victims of prolonged violence, such as this, are often forced to engage in bestial activities to further degrade and dehumanize the victim." Reid agreed.

"Track marks suggest they kept her drugged almost all of the time." Morgan pointed out thoughtfully. "That was probably to keep her submissive."

"Look at these injuries, though. Restraint marks, drugging, injuries to her legs to keep her from running—suggests that whoever had her wanted to be in a position of control." Hotch corrected the others gently.

"A complete narcissist." Rossi nodded, working out the profile in his mind. "He wouldn't get off by torturing JJ, he would get off by seeing her completely submit to him."

"It goes along with how she's been compliant with everything I've asked her to do." Hotch agreed, fighting the pit in his stomach at the thought.

"This might be just the thing we need to find this sick son of a bitch." Derek slowly took the file and placed it gingerly in his briefcase while Reid tossed the file into the center of the table, desperate to fling the evidence of what happened to JJ as far away from him as possible.

"Let's hope it's enough." Hotch agreed.

.oOo.

Emily groaned with relief as she lay down in her oversized bed. The soft mattress was more than enough to provide relief to her worn and tired muscles. As a soft creak pricked at her ears, she sat up immediately, listening for any sound that might indicate that JJ had woken. Glancing over to the corner of the room, she sighed with relief as she saw JJ's tightly curled body still braced tightly against a wall.

Satisfied that the younger woman was still asleep, Emily collapsed back onto the bed. Sighing with relief, she smiled as she felt her body release the tension she didn't realize she had been holding. She groaned as she realized that all of the pressure—all of the responsibilities would start right up again the next morning. Rubbing a hand through her hair, she wondered if every meal time would turn into the events of earlier that night.

_Laying out small samples of almost the entire menu of five various takeout restaurants, Emily tried to smile cheerfully. "We didn't know what you wanted to eat—"_

_"So we decided to get you a little of everything!" Garcia exclaimed happily. "This is going to be the best dinner I've ever had!" She smiled as she rubbed her hands together excitedly. "And that includes the time that Kevin and I made s'mores over my stovetop."_

_"Just eat whatever you can." Emily instructed kindly as she opened some of the take-out boxes. "I—neither of us expect you to eat it all." Emily smiled encouragingly._

_Garcia scooped JJ up a plate with a little of everything while Emily did the same for herself. "Ooo, Jayje, we got that Mongolian Beef from that Chinese place. You've got to try it!" She held out a fork with the morsel of lean beef excitedly. "It's amazing! You've got to eat this first!"_

_JJ shot both women a questioning glance before reluctantly taking the small piece of meat in her hands. She grimaced and before either woman could stop her she quickly placed the meat on her tongue, closing her mouth instantly._

_The brilliant smile died on Garcia's lips as JJ gagged on the small piece of tender steak. "Oh, Peaches." Emily felt her own stomach lurch with sympathy at JJ's pitiful sight. Sympathy quickly turned to horror as JJ attempted to swallow the meat she was already gagging on. JJ's eyes watered and her lips turned white as she tried to keep the food in her mouth despite her body's violent protests._

_Moving quickly, Emily grabbed a small trash can and threw it in JJ's direction. "It's okay JJ." She soothed, her voice low and thick with emotion as she patted JJ's back gingerly. "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to."_

_"I—" Garcia lifted her hand to her mouth in horror, "I didn't mean to make her—"_

_Emily ignored Garcia's attempts at apology and focused on the blonde in front of her. "Jayje, it's okay." She reiterated in Spanish._

_Grabbing the bucket in Emily's hand, JJ heaved violently expelling the offending item along with the rest of her stomach contents._

_Emily patted JJ's back lovingly, feeling her heart break as JJ continued to dry heave. Catching Garcia's eyes, she smiled comfortingly—not wanting to let Garcia feel guilty for something that clearly wasn't her fault._

_JJ was hurt, and they were all going to have to learn to help her get through this._

Hearing another creak, Emily bolted out of bed to find a bleary JJ tripping toward the bathroom.

JJ barely made it to the toilet before the meager contents of her stomach revolted against her. Emily's face fell as she saw JJ pitifully heaving the contents of her stomach into the porcelain toilet. Emily quickly stepped toward JJ and crouched down beside her, soothingly rubbing giant circles along her upper back in an attempt to avoid JJ's other wounds while she pulled JJ's long blonde hair out of the way. "It's going to be okay." She promised, allowing the Spanish phrase to roll off her tongue.

Honestly, Emily was shocked JJ had anything in her system available to vomit. Grimacing, she continued to rub JJ's back, praying fervently that this would end soon.

Unfortunately, retching turned to dry heaving as JJ's body fought violently to expel the mere aroma of food. It was all Emily could do to continue to soothe JJ in an attempt to force it all to stop.

As JJ finished, she sobbed into Emily's arms, clinging to the other woman as if her life depended on it.

In that moment, Emily Prentiss decided that all of the responsibilities in the world would be worth it to help her friend get better.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note:**_ Sp__ecial thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: FloatingAmoeba; hxchick; Love-B .xo; crazyobsession101; and canny-bairn. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that._

_Now, I know that this story already contains a lot of angst. Be warned that it's only going to get worse. BUT, on the plus side, this is the longest story I've ever written, and even now, the angst is only part of the story. _

_Also, many of you have wondered about the reactions of others. While you might (I hope not) be disappointed by this chapter, it is VITAL in setting up stuff for future chapters. So, yeah. _

_Thanks!_

* * *

A soft knock sounded at Penelope's door. Surprised, the eclectic woman wiped the stray tears from her eyes before she checked through the peephole of her apartment door. She sniffed back her emotions and grinned as she saw the man on the other side nervously shift his weight to his other foot. Opening the door slowly, she smiled. "Now to what do I owe the pleasure for a visit from the infamous Dr. Spencer Reid?" Her eyes sparkled with delight. "You here for a booty call?" She suggested, unable to keep a straight face at the look of pure horror that crossed Reid's face.

"What?" Reid sputtered. "No! I—" He sighed, "I just wanted to know how she is."

Penelope's smile faded at the sudden swell of emotions and she gestured for Reid to come in and sit down, well remembering the last time Reid had knocked on her door late at night. She knew Hotch had suggested that the rest of the team give JJ time to settle before they saw her, and it must be cutting the young genius up inside.

"How is she Penelope?" Reid asked, biting his cheek nervously as he fought the hitch in his voice. "Is she okay?"

Penelope grimaced, desperately wishing she could give Reid better news, "She's alive."

Spencer ran a hand through his short hair in frustration, "That's all anybody will tell me. What? Do you all think I can't handle knowing—I know what probably happened to her. Less than 1% of abduction victims make it out alive. Human trafficking victims—"

Penelope held up a finger to his lips gingerly, stopping the spew of information. "I just don't know how to explain it."

Reid nodded sadly, well remembering the last time he had sat on this very couch.

_Penelope opened the door in surprise. "Genius Doctor Reid, what on earth are you doing here already?"_

_He sighed, desperately wishing Hotch had assigned this task to someone else. The rest of the team was supposedly still in Nebraska, and he was the only one that could be spared. "What are you doing back already?"_

_"Penelope—Derek wanted to come. He probably should have come." Spencer shuffled nervously, fully feeling his inadequacy at the task in front of him._

_"What's going on Reid?" Penelope narrowed her eyes cautiously as the genius stumbled around his words. While Reid was notorious for getting nervous easily, it usually didn't happen with the team, and it **never** happened with her._

_"Pency!" Two-year-old Henry barreled around the corner and crashed into the genius's legs. "Up!"_

_Spencer gulped obviously and scooped up his godson. "Penelope, something's happened—"_

_Suddenly a knock sounded at the door, "Oh, that must be Will." Penelope sprang up without a word and opened the door quickly._

_"Hey Spence," Will smiled as Penelope let him in. "I didn't know y'all were home already. JJ must be on her way home right now."_

_"Daddy!" Henry cried, holding his arms out toward his father who quickly stole his son from Spencer._

_"JJ's not on her way home." Reid sat down on the couch, hating himself for being utterly unable to explain this the way he knew JJ would have. "That's what I came to tell you."_

_"What do you mean, Reid?" Garcia asked, plopping down next to the genius. "What did you come to tell us?"_

_"Yeah, what're you saying Spencer?" Will prodded._

_"JJ was abducted last night." Reid admitted, wincing as he realized that over the last eight hours his entire world had been turned upside down. "The team is trying to find her—"_

_Penelope was up off the couch and on her phone in seconds. "Pick up, Derek." She ordered, cursing the fact that the call rang to his voicemail. _

_"—Penelope, they're not going to answer. They're in a press conference right now."_

_"A press conference?" Penelope snapped. "When the hell were you guys going to tell me? I could have been looking. How long has she been gone? I could have found her by now!"_

_"Emily just got out of the hospital. They're just mobilizing now. They thought—we thought it might be better if you heard it from one of us."_

_"Like HELL it'd be better!" Penelope screeched. Will, for his part, stood dumbfounded as he watched the scene play out in front of him. "My best friend is missing."_

_"We'll find her, Garcia. We'll find her."_

Penelope bit her lip, well aware that Reid had pulled away from the BAU team during JJ's absence. Somehow, without JJ it was as if Spencer suddenly felt like he didn't belong. And in some ways, it was as if none of them really belonged anymore. Desperate to feel a deep connection with the gangly genius, she cleared her throat, apparently snapping him from his thoughts, "She's really thin." She explained slowly.

"Probably from malnutrition." Spencer murmured, "most victims—"

"Shhhh." Penelope placed a finger against his lips to silence any horrid statistic she couldn't deal with right now. "She's scared, her eyes dart around like she's looking for something bad to happen." Penelope admitted. Seeing Reid try to add something, she pushed her finger more gently in an attempt to silence him. "But she's alive."

Reid nodded, seemingly accepting Garcia's explanation. "She's okay?" He asked hopefully.

Penelope bit her lip with indecision. "She will be."

.oOo.

Hotch tensed as he placed his hand against the cold door handle to the bar he was far too familiar with. Pushing the door open, he paused only for a moment before he spied the man he was trying to find sitting at the bar, nursing his regular scotch.

"Will." Hotch sat down next to the Cajun and nodded at the bartender who quickly handed Hotch his own drink.

"What are you doing here Aaron?" Will asked his friend. Since JJ's disappearance, Hotch and Will had bonded over the travails of single-fatherhood. The fact that both men were dedicated to finding the missing agent had only solidified their friendship. But he was in no mood for friendly support. He just wanted to wallow.

"Emily called me." Hotch sighed. Though he and Emily were not on the best of terms, he felt a surge of appreciation for the heads up.

"Emily?" Will snorted at Hotch's use of the Agent's first name. Though Emily and Will had established an easy friendship, even Will was aware of Emily and Hotch's epic battles. "Called you?"

"She was worried about you." Hotch shrugged. "But Will, JJ—she just needs some time."

"She was _afraid _of me." Will slurred under his breath. Quirking his eyebrow, Hotch looked up at the bartender questioningly. The familiar man held up 4 fingers and shrugged.

"She told Emily you weren't safe. She's trying to protect you." Hotch tried to explain.

"Have you _seen_ her?" Will sputtered. "I had to explain to Henry, not only why the woman we met today looked a lot like the 'pretty woman in the pictures', but why she was afraid of us." He shook his head sadly, "no father should ever have to explain that about his boy's Mama."

"Will. She'll get better. She just needs time." Hotch promised gently.

Will shook his head sadly. "I hope you're right Aaron." He groaned at the torturous memory that seemed burned into the forefront of his mind.

_"JJ, there's someone here to see you." Emily beamed as she ushered the man and boy into her home. _

_"JJ." Will sighed, tears streaming down his face with relief at the sight of his fiancée. Henry clung to the back of Will's legs, still unsure of whom this woman was._

_Nothing could have prepared Emily or Will for JJ's reaction. _

_At the sight of her fiancé and son that she hadn't seen in years, JJ leapt back. "No!" Her horrified whisper felt more like a resounding scream to each occupant in the room than if her cries were several decibels greater. Her eyes were wide and terrified as she scrambled furthering the distance between her and the others "Get out!" She visibly struggled to hiss the words out in Spanish. Turning to Emily, she explained rapidly, "Henry, he's in danger, they could come after him—if they see him with me, he's in danger—He has to get away, they have to stay away-"_

_"JJ—" Emily tried to calm her, trying to hide her surprise at JJ's insistence. _

_"No." Emily could almost see JJ's anguish as the younger woman strained to speak in a language she knew Will could understand. "Will—" JJ's tongue tripped over itself as she pushed the words forcibly out of her mouth, "you…have…to…" She switched back to Spanish, the English words too hard to force out of her mouth, "you have to get away."_

_"JJ—"_

_"Get away!" JJ insisted nearing hysteria, backing into the corner of Emily's sitting room and crumpling to the floor. "Go!"_

_Turning to Emily, she persisted, "Tell him. Tell him to get away. Tell him to go." She was half sobbing, half begging, "Emily, Please tell him he has to go away. He has to stay safe."_

_"Uh, Will. Maybe this isn't the best time. I think you should go." Emily put her hand on Will's shoulder, in an attempt to comfort the horrified man. "Maybe we can try again another time."_

"What am I going to do?" Will clenched his jaw as he nursed his drink. "JJ's parents are gone—Henry and I are all she has left—"

"No. You're wrong." Hotch interrupted. "JJ has all of us. We've all been searching for her, and none of us are going to give up now."

"Damn, Aaron. You weren't there. You didn't see the look in her eyes." Will accused. Hotch remained silent, easily understanding the pain Will was facing. "I waited for her. I knew, I _knew_ she was still alive. I _waited._"

"We all wanted this to turn out differently." Hotch comforted.

"Then someone tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do!" Will snapped, slamming the empty glass on the bar with such force that the glass shattered in his hand. Pushing away the glass shards and not bothering to look up at the bartender who simply cleaned up the mess with a sad smile, Will held his head in his hands. "I just don't know what to do."

Hotch sat quietly, waiting for the younger man to explain.

"I loved her Aaron. I still do. But I can't put Henry through that again—and how do I know it won't happen every time she sees him? I can't—I won't—let my son grow up afraid of his mother."

Hotch nodded, placing a firm hand on Will's shoulder. "That's what we're here for. You take care of Henry. I'll keep you in the loop, and one day it will be better."

Will shook his head sadly. "I wish I could believe you."


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note:**_ Sp__ecial thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: SignedSealedWritten; hxchick; Love-B .xo; savetonight; foxyfeline; crazyobsession101; canny-bairn; and littlegreenbottle. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that._

_Now, I know that this story already contains a lot of angst. Be warned that it's only going to get worse. BUT, on the plus side, this is the longest story I've ever written, and even now, the angst is only part of the story. _

_So, I have completely re-written this particular chapter at least five times. I am not a therapist, a doctor, or really anybody trained in ANY WAY to deal with mental health issues. So, I apologize for any inaccuracies, but I tried._

* * *

Two weeks later, Emily yawned as she thumbed through the magazine she had already read nearly a million times. She smirked as she thought of how this psychiatrist's office _desperately_ needed new reading material.

And it had only been two weeks.

But then, she reasoned, this office probably didn't have many patients that came in five times a week for an hour every time.

She stifled a yawn as she flipped through to the familiar** '_50 Ways to be Noticed by the Man of Your Dreams_.'**

"Are you okay, Emily?" The receptionist, Alice, asked with concern.

Emily smirked, thinking of how long it had been since she had _really_ slept through the night. "It's been a long few days."

Alice nodded, familiar at least with the fact that whatever Emily's charge had been through had been incredibly traumatic. "Maybe this week will be better." Alice offered hopefully.

"Let's hope so." Emily scoffed.

"And, it can't be so bad. You come in here every day, so that has to be helping." Alice encouraged.

"Sure." Emily shrugged, well aware that therapy had not been, and probably wouldn't be, a quick fix of JJ's problems. Emily's mind wandered as she remembered the last time she thought everything might not be so bad.

_Emily had been watching JJ cautiously the entire time they had been at the store. Ideally, Emily would have let JJ stay at home with someone else, or at least in the car, while she ran into the store to get some much needed food._

_But she couldn't leave JJ alone._

_And the rest of the team was away on a case._

_And her pantries were almost completely bare._

_Though, she wasn't sure why she bothered—the only thing JJ seemed to be able to eat were carrots._

_JJ clung desperately to Emily's sleeves as she limped along slowly down the grocery aisles. Emily stepped slowly, determined not to rush JJ but trying everything she could to get out of the store as quickly as possible. _

_Seeing JJ slowly proceed up and down the aisles, Emily wondered for just a moment what she had been so afraid of._

_Other than the blonde's white knuckled grip on Emily's shirtsleeve and her eyes constantly darting around as if scouting for impending danger, JJ seemed to be doing remarkably well._

_She stopped as she felt a tug on her arm while JJ hesitated as they passed through the aisle with baking supplies and various sugary treats. Emily's eyes widened in surprise as JJ gingerly touched a package of dark red Jell-O before shrinking back and attempting to proceed down the aisle._

_Shrugging, Emily grabbed several packages of the gelatinous dessert before resuming her slow pace. Looking over the goods in the cart, Emily nodded with satisfaction hoping she could coax the blonde to eat something other than the five bags of carrots she thought might last them through the next two weeks._

_Pushing the cart to the checkout, Emily passed the checkouts with the shortest line, opting instead to find a line that would allow JJ to stand next to the items without someone accidentally brushing past her._

_At this point, Emily still wasn't sure what would scare JJ and what wouldn't, but she wasn't about to let JJ freak out if there was anything she could do to help it._

_"Excuse me," A woman came up from behind, touching JJ lightly on the shoulder as Emily placed the groceries on the conveyer belt. JJ shirked away from the woman's touch and looked to Emily for support. The woman, oblivious to JJ's terror continued speaking, "You look an awful lot like the FBI Agent that went missing. Are you Jennifer Jareau?"_

_"Hey!" The customer who pulled up behind JJ and Emily just to hear the woman's question spoke loudly for other customers to hear. "It's Jennifer Jareau! The woman on the news!"_

_A small crowd gathered and Emily gently grabbed JJ and pulled her close as the cashier began to scan the items. "Please folks, step back. Agent Jareau needs her privacy." She asked the growing group of onlookers politely._

_JJ stepped closer to Emily for protection. Emily could see the color drain from JJ's face at the attention and thrust bills toward the cashier as the total sprang up. _

_The first woman pressed closer to JJ, placing her hand gently on JJ's shoulder and ignored JJ's flinching away. "I am so happy you're okay. When you went missing—they had your family on the news—I've been praying for you." The woman smiled tearfully. "I'm so glad you're okay."_

_Well-meaning, but oblivious, patrons continued to push in tighter towards JJ and Emily, hoping to share a word with the now trembling blonde. One customer pulled out her phone and snapped a picture. Others quickly followed suit and bright flashing lights began popping up through the crowd._

_"Please." Emily raised her voice angrily as she began to push through the crowd with JJ digging her nails into Emily's arm while she pushed the loaded cart with the other hand. "Everyone take a step back." She ordered. "Agent Jareau needs her space."_

_At the sight of the clamoring crowd, more customers pressed tightly into the growing circle attempting to see what all of the commotion was about. At the growing crowd, the store security officers came to at least offer some assistance as Emily was able to move the crowd toward the exit. _

_"Step back!" Emily commanded the crowd, feeling JJ's breathing rapidly increasing. "We are federal agents." She was practically screaming now, "I'm ordering you all to step back."_

_"Everyone!" One of the guards barked, "Step back, let Agent Jareau through." JJ jumped at the tone of authority in his voice and clung tighter to Emily._

_The crowd pressed in closer, each person trying to get a view of JJ as she pulled against her blonde hair unconsciously. "JJ, it's okay. Just breathe. We're almost to the car. It's okay." Emily soothed as she nudged the cart through the crowd._

_JJ had been breathing in short quick breaths, and Emily could practically feel the other woman's heart beating rapidly through her chest. Plowing through the crowd, Emily no longer cared about the groceries in her cart and elbowed her way through to her car. _

_But the weary holiday shoppers—half of whom were excited to see the Agent they recognized from the news, and half of whom were clamoring for additional Christmas discounts—pressed tighter and tighter into JJ and Emily preventing any forward movement._

_The guard who had spoken earlier took pity on Emily and pulled her gently. "Follow me." He grabbed the groceries and dove forcefully through the swarm of people._

_With JJ clawing desperately at Emily for more security, Emily tried to push through the crowd but was pushed deeper into the sea of people._

_The guard turned back, realizing that Emily and JJ were no longer behind him. Shoving the now almost air-tight wave of people out of his way, he nabbed JJ's shoulder and pulled her and Emily toward him. "I need you to follow me."_

_"She—" Emily had to shout over the mob of people, "She's scared, she can't—"_

_The guard nodded his understanding and quickly pulled JJ into his arms, easily lifting her up against his chest. "Follow me." He yelled back._

_Pushing through to the outskirts of the massive mob, Emily sighed a breath of relief as she saw her silver Prius come into view._

_JJ gasped in the man's arms, clutching at her throat as if her airway was almost completely blocked. "It's going to be okay JJ." Emily promised as she fished her keys out of the car. The kind guard quickly stepped around the car and once Emily unlocked the door placed JJ gently in the passenger's seat. _

_Emily jumped in the car, glancing over at JJ who had beads of sweat dripping down her face as she clutched at her heart and throat. "JJ, it's okay. Take deep breaths." Emily informed, throwing the car into gear and pealing out of the parking space._

_Emily blinked back tears as JJ continued to gasp, bracing herself against the door of the car in a desperate attempt to regain control._

_JJ quickly threw her coat off, about to take off more of her clothes before Emily quickly turned on the Air Conditioning to its highest levels. Despite the ice and obvious snow surrounding them, JJ put her face directly against the vent as she struggled frantically for air. _

_The tears brimmed at Emily's eyes, and she had to swipe them away to keep her vision clear. _

_She just didn't know what to do._

_JJ's gasps for breath worsened and before Emily could do anything to help, the lights inside the car blinged on and the passenger's door flung open as JJ tripped out of the moving car._

_Emily slammed on the breaks and the car slid to a screeching stop as she jumped out of the car and darted towards JJ's stumbling figure._

_How could this day get any worse?_

The door opened just as the clock struck the hour, snapping Emily out of her memory. Dr. Mayfield, JJ's therapist, stood at the door and quickly motioned for Emily to enter.

Emily quickly stood and followed the doctor into the room. She was only mildly surprised to see JJ on the chair closest to the door, her legs pulled up on the seat and tucked lightly under her chin as she bit her thumbnail nervously while she drew carefully on a pad of paper in front of her.

Spying Emily enter the room, JJ stiffened and sat up straighter like a child suddenly attempting to avoid chastisement.

Easily picking up on JJ's nervousness, Dr. Mayfield smiled reassuringly as she returned to her own seat, "You aren't in trouble JJ, and we just need to talk about some things that are going on, okay?"

JJ chewed on her fingernail nervously but quickly returned to the drawing in her hands.

"How often do you talk at home, JJ?" The therapist asked kindly, well aware that just like the last hour, JJ likely wouldn't respond.

Emily glanced over at JJ who was engrossed in her own activity. Emily hesitated before shaking her head reluctantly. "That time with Will-Sometimes if she gets scared, I can get her to say entire phrases, but other than that, it's not more than a word or two."

Dr. Mayfield rubbed her chin thoughtfully, "Is there anything you'd like to add JJ?" The therapist turned to her patient expectantly.

JJ continued to gnaw on her nail, ignoring Dr. Mayfield's question as she carefully shaded the contours of whatever shape she was depicting.

"Wouldn't it be easier to get her to talk in Spanish first?" Emily asked, almost pleading for the therapist's restriction on the only language JJ felt comfortable with to be lifted. While Emily had been able to use Spanish as a last resort, it killed her every time she asked JJ a question only to have JJ stare blankly in response.

"JJ, how often do you have nightmares?" Dr. Mayfield asked, completely sidestepping Emily's question. Three days ago, she had kindly but firmly let JJ know that Emily was primarily going to speak to her in English, and that she would expect JJ to respond in the same language. JJ hadn't yet responded well to the moratorium during therapy, and Dr. Mayfield could only guess how she was handling it at home.

Emily glanced over to JJ who seemed not to realize she had been asked a question. Sighing, Emily stepped in again to answer. "I'm not sure." Emily rubbed her brow thoughtfully, feeling a slight pang of failure that she didn't know the answer to the therapist's question.

"How often do you catch her in a nightmare?" The doctor asked Emily with interest. "For example, how many times do you hear her, or how often do you go in at night to help her?"

"At least once or twice a night." Emily admitted. "Yesterday morning, I woke up to find her asleep outside my bedroom door."

"She wanted to be close to you, that's good." Dr. Mayfield murmured. Suddenly, her mind registered the other part of what Emily had informed her and asked excitedly, "JJ, you're sleeping in your own room now?"

JJ shrugged imperceptibly, shrinking away from the silence as the other women watched her and waited for an answer. She turned the pencil around and vigorously erased some unseen flaw known only to her eyes.

Emily sighed at JJ's response and spoke up to fill the silence. "Anytime I moved, she'd wake up panicked. She's trying to sleep in her own room, like you suggested."

"You need your sleep too if you are taking care of her all the time." Dr. Mayfield pointed out, taking note that JJ sleeping in her own room even half of the night was an immense accomplishment. "That's good. That's a big step, JJ." She smiled at the blonde who paid her no mind, turning back to Emily she asked for clarification, "But she's still sleeping on the floor?"

"She gets scared anywhere else." Emily sighed resignedly; feeling like every acknowledgement of JJ's current situation only reflected Emily's own inability to help her friend.

"JJ, do you like to sleep on the floor?" She asked, not bothering to _actually_ expect the woman would respond, but knowing that the more she asked the questions, eventually answers would come.

After a minute of JJ's continued drawing, Dr. Mayfield turned back to Emily and nodded, "You can't encourage her to sleep on the floor. Don't set out blankets on the floor or give her a pillow. If she wants to sleep on the floor, let that be her decision." She softened her expression, well aware that she seemed like a stickler for the 'rules' she had imposed. "But she's getting better all the time."

"But her hip—" Emily explained unnecessarily, "sleeping on the floor can only be making that worse. Right?"

"And when it hurts badly enough, maybe she'll sleep on the bed." The doctor retorted. "Right JJ?"

JJ shifted away from the other women, uncomfortable with being the focus of the conversation.

"The other morning, I found her sleeping on the floor without anything else. No blanket, no pillow." Emily held up her empty fist for emphasis. "Nothing. She won't move the blankets unless I tell her it's okay."

"JJ?" Dr. Mayfield asked hoping to draw the woman back into the conversation, "what do you have to say about Emily's concerns?" When JJ failed to respond, the doctor continued. "I noticed you got dizzy when you stood up earlier, JJ." Dr. Mayfield voiced her observation, "What have you been eating JJ?" The doctor attempted to reach out to her patient.

"She's eating." Emily insisted quickly. Seeing the therapist's questioning expression, she sighed and fought her first instinct to react defensively. "Jell-O and carrots—I can't get her to eat anything else."

Dr. Mayfield sighed, thinking deeply. "Do you set out other foods anyway? At least offer them to her?"

Both women took notice as JJ began furiously scribbling away over-top whatever figure she had been drawing.

Emily looked back at the therapist as she guiltily shook her head. "I've tried, but it just seems pointless." Quickly remembering the progress she had pointed out to Garcia the other day, she added, "But her cheeks are filling out and her sweat pants are a little tighter around her hips—that's good, right?"

The therapist sighed, "Not really."

"How can that not be good? She's gaining weight, sure she's hitting a setback, but—"

"She's not getting enough protein, Emily. Her caloric intake is probably still inadequate, but it's better than before." Dr. Mayfield explained, "There are two types of malnutrition. The state JJ was found in—cachexia—where the patient is no more than skin and bones. However, just like the starving children in Africa that seem to grace television commercials every so often—JJ's exhibiting signs of kwashiorkor malnutrition which means she's not getting nearly enough protein. I'm afraid it is just a different side of the same coin."

Emily rubbed her brow wearily. "So, what do I do?"

"JJ is dangerously underweight. If she's not eating, she can't get better." Dr. Mayfield informed, sighing she looked toward JJ before suggesting, "I think it would be best for us to insert a feeding tube."

"A feeding tube?" Emily asked horrified.

JJ snapped away from her now blackened page toward the conversation, surprising both the other women, "No." She whispered, "No quiero."

Both women sat in silence at JJ's unexpected response.

"You don't want the feeding tube JJ?" Dr. Mayfield asked, pouncing on the fact that JJ had just responded vocally—something that had not yet happened in this office.

JJ shrank back against the chair and began slowly tearing the paper she had drawn into small pieces.

"She's gained three pounds." Emily spoke up after a moment, defensive at the drastic suggestion in light of JJ's reaction. If JJ didn't want something, Emily would do anything she could to make sure she didn't have to.

"Since she was found, yes." Dr. Mayfield nodded, "but you know as well as I do that she's down almost an entire pound since our last appointment here."

"It's been two days." Emily defended, knowing full well the importance of each daily weigh-in with a various doctor. "She was sick from physical therapy yesterday."

The therapist sighed. "But 95 pounds is not a healthy weight. It might be something you should consider, and I will probably be bringing it up with Agent Hotchner if she's not making progress soon. But, if you think it's pointless, I can call him now and we could do an immediate out-patient procedure."

Emily groaned, already anticipating the look of disapproval in Hotch's eyes. "No. Don't call him yet. I promise, she'll start eating. I'll take her out somewhere today."

Glancing over at her patient, Dr. Mayfield shook her head sadly. "I'm afraid, Agent Prentiss, that might be a promise that you have no way of keeping." Looking back at the determined Agent, she relented. "But I'll give you two weeks."

"Thank you." Emily sighed with relief. The last thing she needed was Hotch even more concerned about JJ's current state. As it was, he called her almost hourly for an updated report, anything else and he'd practically be living with them—something Emily would never be able to stand.

Not even for JJ.

Even Emily had her limits.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note:**_ Sp__ecial thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: SparkleInTheSun; Love-B .xo; savetonight; foxyfeline; crazyobsession101; and canny-bairn. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that._

* * *

Dr. Mayfield sighed as she sat back in her plush office chair and flipped open the file labeled White, Anna in order to keep her patient's identity confidential. She excitedly noted that JJ had progressed to the point of sleeping in her own room, even if that step was still marred by the woman's tormenting nightmares.

Adding the pictures she had encouraged her patient to draw, she marveled at the detail of this particular rendition. At first glance, she had thought it was simply a flower growing out of a crack in some stony foundation and felt a surge of awe at the delicate daisy growing out of the difficult circumstances. On closer examination, however, she cringed when she noticed the shadow that loomed over the frail plant, indicating an impending doom that even the plant was aware of.

If this was what JJ's psyche represented itself as, then JJ's world was far more devastating than she had realized.

She grimaced as she thought back to that fateful winter night that she had first accidentally encountered JJ and her caretaker as she picked up the phone and dialed the newly familiar number.

_Dr. Mayfield grimaced as she approached the parking garage for her office. She sighed as she thought of her three o'clock patient, hoping that by some stretch of the imagination her permanent appointment would somehow cancel._

_She slammed on the breaks in surprise as a young girl tumbled out of the silver Prius in front of her as the car screeched to an unnatural stop. _

_"JJ!" A darker hair woman called after the staggering blonde. Somewhat torn between curiosity and a worry she needed to do something to help, Dr. Mayfield stopped the car in the middle of the parking garage entrance and stepped out._

_"JJ, get back here! It's okay." The brunette cried, a mixture of exasperation and desperation in her voice as she stepped around the car._

_The blonde crumpled into the snow, sobbing softly as she backed toward the cold brick building. _

_"JJ, you're safe. It's over. I'm sorry, I never should have taken you there, I should have known better." Dr. Mayfield could easily hear the self-loathing in the brunette's voice despite her obvious attempt to keep her voice calm and placating._

_As Dr. Mayfield hurried toward the crumpled figure, she winced as she realized the young girl was not a young girl at all, instead she was an emaciated adult in mental distress. Kneeling down several feet away from the blonde to keep a safe distance and not panic the distraught woman, Dr. Mayfield smiled kindly, "Are you JJ? Is everything alright?" She asked, not having to force the soft gentleness into her voice that had become part of her trade._

_The woman curled herself into a ball and rocked softly, one hand close to her mouth as she chewed on her thumbnail while the other began forcefully tugging on the long blonde strands of hair in what appeared to be some attempt to find comfort._

_"JJ, my name's Dr. Susan Mayfield and I work in this building right back here. Can you tell me what happened?" Dr. Mayfield encouraged softly._

_The woman shook her head before burying it closely between her knees._

_"I took her to the store." The brunette admitted as if she now knew it was the most egregious error she could have made. "She gets…" The brunette searched for the right word, "scared."_

_The therapist nodded understandingly. "JJ, it's okay to be scared." She answered almost automatically. _

_Turning toward the brunette, she asked. "You took her to the store, what happened?"_

_"She—people started recognizing her, there was a crowd. She—"_

_"I need to know what's wrong with her so I can help her." Dr. Mayfield cut in, "What did she do?"_

_"Clutched at her throat, like she couldn't breathe. JJ just like shut down, it was like she turned off. I got her to the car—she liked the cold air of the A/C, and then she just jumped out of the car."_

_"She's probably having a panic attack." Dr. Mayfield deduced, "How long has this been going on?"_

_"Uh—" The brunette paused, obviously feeling like this had been going on for an eternity. "A few minutes?"_

_Dr. Mayfield nodded. "It should be over soon. Once she calms down, let's get her up to my office and I'll take a look at her to make sure she's okay."_

"This is Dr. Nielsen." JJ's specialist answered the phone. The two doctors had come to an understanding that Dr. Nielsen would act as JJ's primary care physician and compile the information from her various appointments into one place.

"Dr. Nielsen this is Dr. Susan Mayfield." She announced, not having to explain who she was calling about, she continued. "She is down almost an entire pound since her last appointment."

Dr. Nielsen sighed over the phone, "That puts her weight at 94 pounds." She could hear the man grimace.

"I suggested a feeding tube." Dr. Mayfield informed.

Dr. Nielsen paused for a minute. "I'm afraid that might be the next course of action. I'm fairly certain her body is simply not absorbing nutrients."

"An NG tube could be inserted as an outpatient procedure." Dr. Mayfield suggested.

Dr. Nielsen sighed reluctantly, "Given her anxiety in hospitals, I'm afraid that isn't going to be an option. An NG tube is helpful because she wouldn't need to be sedated and could insert it herself. With her, it may be easier to skip straight to the gastric tube." He grimaced involuntarily as he remembered being the recipient of his fellow med-school student's attempts to insert a feeding tube.

"What about the surgery on her wrist and hip?" Dr. Mayfield queried.

"She's not strong enough right now, I'd like to see her weight get up to at least a hundred pounds before we operate. But, if it takes longer than two weeks we're going to go ahead with the operation."

"That's shortly after Christmas," Dr. Mayfield cautioned, "Are you sure that's wise?"

"It's the lesser of two evils." Dr. Nielsen shook his head sadly, "But hopefully it won't come to that."


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note:**_ Sp__ecial thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: zzz-zzz84; Love-B .xo; hxchick; crazyobsession101; foxyfeline. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that. And, a special thank you to everyone who wrote encouraging words. I've decided to continue this story the way I originally envisioned it, so thank you for the support. On a side note, this is probably one of my favorite chapters...actually, that's a lie because there are a couple of great scenees coming up, but I do love this one. _

_Also, special thanks to brynnifer and littlegreenbottle for beta'ing this all. Thanks guys!_

* * *

Emily felt a flood of relief as she and JJ stepped off the elevator and pushed through the doors of the BAU. JJ's eyes darted around frantically, but luckily the elevator ride to the sixth floor had only led to JJ being mildly anxious, rather than a full blown panic attack.

Thankfully, the entire floor was virtually empty as a result of some seminar that she knew Garcia and most of the other floor had been forced to attend. Only Reid and Morgan sat at their desks plowing through paperwork. As they approached, both men kept an eye on JJ saying nothing as she approached in an attempt not to frighten her.

Emily stopped resignedly as she waited for JJ to acclimate herself to the room. Usually, JJ had to stop and scan each new room for something Emily still wasn't quite sure. Emily slowly sauntered over her desk, knowing full well that JJ wouldn't let her get too far away before following.

JJ paused as she spied a quarter lying haphazardly on the floor. Glancing over at Emily, she quickly snatched the quarter and stuffed it into the pocket of her sweatshirt jacket before following Emily to her desk.

As JJ plopped down into the chair next to her, Emily looked over her desk once more, mentally cataloguing the items to make sure she didn't have a knife or anything sharp that JJ could hurt herself with.

"Hi JJ." Derek waved, grateful that his desk was several feet away from Emily's so JJ wouldn't feel like he was too close.

JJ shrunk back slightly toward Emily, but nodded in acknowledgement at Morgan's greeting as she pulled off her thick winter coat and cradled it gingerly.

Shuffling the stack of files that had piled on her desk into a drawer that she quickly locked, Emily motioned to the iPod clutched in JJ's hands. "Jayje, I'm going to run and grab us something to eat in the cafeteria. Just sit here and listen to your iPod." Emily dug through her purse and pulled out a bottle of Ensure that she had stashed away for just such an occasion. "Drink this first, then I'll have some soup for you too."

JJ nodded slightly, glancing at the can with a grimace as she fumbled with her iPod.

Looking up at her male colleagues, Emily brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, "Will you guys just keep an eye on her?"

"Sure." Derek smiled warmly, knowing how desperately Emily needed even a momentary reprieve from being at JJ's side. Reid bowed his head and concentrated on the paperwork in front of him as if he hadn't heard Emily's request. Derek ignored Reid's response and shrugged, "But it will cost you. I haven't had lunch myself yet—"

Emily chuckled. "Leave it to you to result to extortion." She smirked. Seeing JJ poke the earbuds into her ears, she felt strengthened that she could leave the blonde with the others as JJ bit her fingernail nervously but settled into the soft chair.

"Whatever works." Morgan smiled. "As long as there's lunch, I'm in."

"Reid, you want anything?" Emily asked, standing and stepping out of JJ's view, watching the other woman closely to ensure her departure wouldn't be too damaging.

The youngest profiler shook his head. "No thanks." He murmured.

Derek and Emily exchanged a glance before Emily shrugged. She had more pressing things to worry about than Spencer's mood. Stepping slightly further away, she stopped while JJ appraised the distance between them calculatedly. JJ pulled her knees up onto the chair against her chest and chewed her fingernail as she watched Emily back away.

Derek watched JJ interestedly as she adjusted to Emily's slow departure uncomfortably.

JJ bit her fingernail as she tapped Emily's desk nervously with her other hand. She stared off into the distance ahead of her, focused on the soft music in her ears.

Annoyed, Reid looked up after a moment. "JJ." He said shortly. "Would you stop that?" JJ ducked her head as if slightly ashamed and hugged her knees with her now free hand.

"Reid?" Morgan asked, surprised by the younger man's abruptness.

"She's—" Reid held out his hand accusingly, as if Derek should obviously see the reason for his aggravation. "I can't concentrate while she's doing that."

"Reid, man." Derek quirked his eyebrow in disbelief, "Give her a break."

A few minutes later, JJ tapped the arm of the chair repeatedly, unconsciously expending her nervous energy.

"JJ, stop that." Reid snapped again.

JJ abruptly stood and ducked her head, quickly snatching the instant meal off the desk and backed away leaving her coat behind.

"JJ, do you need something?" Derek stood and followed the quickly retreating blonde. She stopped just short of the women's room door, and hung her head softly with an almost imperceptible blush creeping up her cheeks.

"Oh." Morgan offered lamely as understanding dawned. When he realized JJ was waiting to complete some procedure he was unfamiliar with, Derek nodded. "What do you have in your pockets?" He asked, well remembering the events that happened the morning after her rescue.

A look of sheer panic crossed her face before she guiltily held up the meal replacement and pulled out a fistful of items from her sweatshirt pocket. Derek smiled down at the small collection of coins and what appeared to be a small green army man along with her trusted iPod. JJ bit her lip nervously, and Derek realized she was waiting for a response. "Do you—" He racked his brain for what Emily would normally do, "Do you need help?" He asked, praying she'd say no or else he'd have to charm some female agent on the floor to help her.

JJ blushed lightly and shook her head before pushing through the swinging door. Derek smiled gratefully as he saw Penelope turned the corner on a war-path toward her own office and quickly cleared his throat to get her attention.

Garcia's head snapped up, and at the sight of Derek in front of the woman's room needed only a brief glance to confirm that JJ's thick winter coat was hanging on the back of the chair before the tech barreled her way into the bathroom. "I've got this, Sugar." Penelope smiled softly as the door swung shut behind her.

Morgan turned back to his desk, narrowing his eyes at the genius who busied himself with paperwork. Stepping over to the younger man's desk, Derek snatched the files the genius was breezing through and turned quickly on the young genius, appalled by Reid's earlier behavior "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"It's not my fault she's acting that way." Reid retorted, not bothering to look up from the files in front of him.

"No, but she can't help it." Morgan retorted incredulously. "Seriously man, what's wrong with you?"

Spencer rubbed his brow, hating himself for the emotions that brewed beneath the surface. "Just leave me alone."

"So what? JJ put up with all of your shit over the years, but you can't support her as a friend?" Derek shook his head in disgust, "Is that what this is about? Some friend you are." Derek spat, incensed.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Reid bit out angrily.

"Oh don't I? So why don't you enlighten me?" Derek scoffed.

Emily juggled a large tray of food as she stepped back into the bullpen, interrupting the two profilers' conversation. "I've got lunch." She smiled tiredly, almost collapsing into her chair. Suddenly realizing that JJ was missing, she snapped up immediately from her chair. "Where is she?"

"In the bathroom with Garcia." Morgan assured, slightly unnerved by how much Emily seemed to have aged in the last few weeks.

JJ chose that moment to return from the bathroom, rubbing her hands along her sweat pants as if searching for some soft reassurance that only the thick fabric could provide. She quickly settled back into the chair by Emily's desk, discarding the now empty can back on the corner. Penelope followed closely at JJ's heels and sat down on the corner of Derek's desk.

"JJ, you drank all of this?" Emily asked in surprise as she handed Derek a Caesar salad and picked up the empty bottle as she forced the skepticism out of her voice. Derek quirked an eyebrow at the salad, but accepted it none-the-less.

Inwardly, she scolded herself for immediately jumping to the conclusion that JJ dumped the nutrient rich drink, but realistically she knew it was more than an option considering how much coaxing it usually took to get JJ to eat or drink _anything_ other than Jell-o, carrots, and water.

JJ shrugged, placing the earbuds tightly into her ears and pushing the buttons furiously as if she could drown out the entire world with her single iPod.

Emily shook her head and pulled out one of JJ's earbuds gingerly. "JJ, why did you take the drink to the bathroom?"

JJ shrugged, but Emily waited patiently knowing JJ would respond. "Porque yo quería" JJ muttered almost incoherently, squirming uncomfortably in her seat.

Emily bit her lip, _Stay Calm_ she instructed herself as she kept her emotions in control. "Why did you want to?" Seeing that Emily was preoccupied, Derek slowly exchanged the salad for the large cheeseburger on the tray in front of Emily, hoping she wouldn't notice.

JJ shrugged and reached for her earbud in Emily's hand, but Emily wasn't willing to let this go quite yet. JJ shrunk back slightly and bit her lip guiltily, "Porque tuve que ir al baño."

JJ reached toward the earbuds and Emily shook her head softly, waiting for a better explanation. "Why did you take the drink to the bathroom?" Emily asked again, forcing herself to remain patient.

Seeing the circular conversation, Derek asked pointedly, "JJ, where did the drink go?"

JJ's cheeks flushed as she realized the others were watching her whispered conversation with Emily with interest. Ducking her head, she pointed back at the bathroom.

"What did you do with it?" Reid asked, his annoyance palpable, "Did you flush it?"

JJ nodded slowly, biting her thumbnail nervously as she avoided eye contact with the others.

Emily sighed, mentally noting to ask Reid what his deal was at a later date, "JJ, did you know that these drinks help give you all of the important things your body needs to get better?" Emily asked, forcing herself not to lose her temper. She had _just_ told the therapist she could get JJ to eat, and now this? Why was JJ making this so hard?

JJ nodded and chewed on her nail before gently tugging at the earbud in Emily's hand.

Emily, however was not yet about to budge. "JJ, we want to help you get better. But in order to get better, you need to eat." Emily pulled out another Ensure bottle identical to the first and held it out to JJ, gingerly removing the other earbud and unplugging the earbuds from the iPod.

JJ reached for the earbuds in Emily's hand, only to have Emily gently push her hand away. "When you've finished the other drink, you can have the earbuds back."

JJ clenched the iPod tightly in her hands, moving her fingers along the raised buttons nervously. "No tengo hambre." She whispered.

Emily's face softened but she put the earbuds firmly in her pocket. "We can wait until you are." She smiled encouragingly, ignoring the way the others were looking at her in surprise.

Reluctantly, JJ picked up the nutrient rich drink and opened it slowly, glancing over at Emily who nodded expectantly.

Looking back to the tray in front of her, Emily's face fell "What happened to my cheeseburger?"


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Note:**_ Sp__ecial thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: zzz-zzz84; Love-B .xo; Lily145; crazyobsession101; foxyfeline; and SparkleInTheSun. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that. And, as many of you may have been wondering, there IS a reason for the way Reid is acting._

_Also, special thanks to brynnifer and littlegreenbottle for beta'ing this all. Thanks guys!_

* * *

Later, Emily smiled as JJ curled up on the couch and waited patiently for her to turn on one of JJ's TV channels. Briefly, she wondered if letting JJ watch Spanish Soap Operas helped her to focus on speaking in English, but right now, Emily didn't really care. Because if it made JJ feel more comfortable, then that was all that mattered.

Turning on the TV, she didn't need to change the channel as the foreign language resounded throughout the apartment. She smiled as JJ relaxed slightly against the couch cushions, her fingers gently tracing the seams of the couch. Emily handed the remote over to the blonde, knowing that JJ wouldn't want to change the channel, but wanting to give her the control anyway.

A resounding knock at the door startled both of the women inside the apartment. JJ shrank back toward the couch, and Emily quickly stood mentally cursing whoever had decided to interrupt one of JJ's few moments of peace.

Her anger quickly fled when she saw the intruders on the other side of the door were Morgan and Reid. Derek had two large pizza boxes in his hands and Reid stood slightly behind him, shuffling his feet with a case of beer and a two-liter soda.

"I heard you thinking about me from all the way in my apartment and couldn't bear to let you live without me." Derek raised his eyebrows suggestively, holding up the pizza.

"Yeah, right." Emily scoffed, momentarily feeling a surge of gratitude for friends willing to drop everything to help before she even asked. Truthfully, she had forgotten about dinner the last several nights—with JJ's meal replacements it seemed her own dinner had lost importance. "More like you felt bad for stealing my cheeseburger."

Derek blushed slightly that she had pegged him correctly, but shrugged as he brushed past Emily to put the pizzas on the countertop, "You can believe whatever helps you sleep at night."

"This is perfect," Emily grinned, taking note that Reid was still shuffling awkwardly in her entryway while he shut the door behind him, "JJ can have a piece of pizza and one of her drinks before she goes to bed."

"Well, when I save the day, I spare no expense." Morgan shrugged with false bravado.

Emily quickly cut up a slice into smaller pieces and grabbed an Ensure drink for JJ. "Spencer, you can come in you know." She encouraged the wary genius. "We don't bite."

Reid smiled nervously, "Oh, thanks." He shrugged, uncharacteristically short in his response.

JJ watched the interaction out of the corner of her eye, nearly forgotten by the other profilers. She picked up her heavy thermos of water and sipped eagerly.

Emily quirked an eyebrow at Morgan questioning Reid's behavior before shrugging and picking up the items for JJ, "JJ, honey, can we turn off the TV and talk to Derek and Spencer?" Emily asked, gesturing toward the remote.

JJ bit her lip and hesitated, obviously not wanting to say yes but seemingly unable to say no.

"It's fine, Em." Derek shrugged, collapsing on the chair furthest away from JJ. "If it makes her feel better, leave it on."

Reid stood awkwardly just behind the couch, obviously uncomfortable that the only seats available were closer to JJ.

"Here Reid, I'll scoot over." Emily offered, chalking up Reid's hesitation to a desire to keep JJ uncomfortable.

Using Reid's distraction to her advantage, she move JJ's thermos further away and scooted JJ's meal replacement supplement to a more convenient location. JJ's new medications made her thirsty, and if her large supply of water couldn't be easily used, the nutrient rich liquid usually made a tolerable substitute. Emily winced as she momentarily wondered if her method was underhanded, but decided that if it tricked JJ into drinking something that was even healthier for her, she'd do whatever it took.

"Does she have to watch this?" Reid sulked as he took a large bite of his pizza, throwing the plastic silverware Emily had set out onto the coffee table.

"It makes her feel better." Emily shrugged, picking at her own pizza. "If it helps JJ, I don't really care."

"Well, it's annoying." Spencer huffed as he settled into the couch.

Wordlessly, Emily picked up the plate on the coffee table and held it out to JJ, a clear indication of her expectations. JJ grimaced before slowly picking up one small piece and handling it gingerly in her hands.

Satisfied that JJ was at least going to attempt to eat, Emily relaxed slightly. "I can't believe you didn't get a pizza with pineapple." She scoffed to Derek, keeping one eye on JJ at all times.

JJ reluctantly picked at the small piece in her hands, pulling almost imperceptibly small pieces off the already small piece and slowly putting the crumbs in her mouth. Derek smirked as he saw JJ look over to Emily in approval as she ate the small piece at a snail's pace. "Fruit?" He gasped in mock horror, "On pizza? Come on Prentiss, that's disgusting."

"It's delicious." She retorted, basking in the relief of one blissfully normal conversation. "And it's not as disgusting as some of the things I've seen you eat." She goaded.

Reluctantly, JJ picked up the meal replacement drink and sipped slowly.

Derek snorted good-naturedly, "Just because I like my steak rare doesn't mean it's disgusting—it's natural."

"Rare is different from _raw._" Emily countered. "I think wild animals like their meat cooked more thoroughly than you do."

Suddenly, JJ stood and fumbled to put her ipod on the table before quickly darting toward the bathroom that only she used, silencing all conversation as Emily watched her leave with a mixture of trepidation and concern.

"You're not going after her?" Reid asked, the accusation not hard to detect beneath his words.

Emily shrugged, but both profilers noticed the way she bit her lip knowingly as if wishing she was already by JJ's side. "The doctors said she might have a tough time digesting the food. If she's not back in a couple of minutes, then I'll go check on her."

"But—" Reid sputtered.

Emily turned on him, slightly angered at the obvious skepticism in his voice, particularly considering her own internal dialogue. "Reid, I've been through every single room in this house. The bathroom has _nothing_ in it. I check it every morning to be sure." She added pointedly. "If there's any place that I can give her some privacy, it's in that bathroom."

"In 2009, a sailor attempted suicide by choking on toilet paper." Reid added snidely. "If you really cared about her—"

"Drop it kid." Morgan interrupted, grumbling warningly.

"That's why I _time_ it." Emily retorted as if Derek hadn't spoken, her patience wearing thin, "You think I haven't been doing this for weeks?"

Reid opened his mouth to retort but quickly closed it as he saw Derek's warning glare.

Seconds later, JJ practically ran back to her spot on the couch, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her oversized sweat pants.

Once Emily was satisfied the younger woman had settled back into her secure spot, she stood quickly and retrieved JJ's medication from the locked cabinet. Pulling out the necessary pills, she held out several toward the blonde. "Here JJ."

JJ slowly accepted the pills from Emily's hand and picked up the half-full supplement to drink the pills down with.

Reid, however, was not fooled. He watched as JJ glanced over at the others, a look of relief washing briefly through her eyes that Emily and Derek were still engrossed in their conversation. Reid narrowed his eyes at her. When she caught his glare, she shrunk back toward the couch, ducking her head slightly as she refocused her attention on the TV show in front of her.

"JJ?" He asked, his tone warning. He had seen it too often, too many times to simply let the issue drop.

JJ ignored him, seemingly daring him to either expose her in front of the others or let the issue drop as she raised her fingers to her mouth.

"Swallow it." He commanded sternly, startling the other two from their annoying, albeit witty, conversation.

"Reid—" Morgan warned, surprised at what had set the younger man off.

Knowing the other man had only forced him to come because of his actions earlier that day, Spencer ignored Derek's tone. "Swallow it!" He repeated more forcefully, smirking as JJ's hands dropped from near her mouth.

"Spencer?" Emily asked, not understanding what had set the younger man off.

Reid whipped around, "She's cheeking them! She's not swallowing it!" He insisted.

"Reid!" Derek snapped, watching how the fair blonde began shaking at Reid's assertion.

Emily sighed, sliding over closer to JJ and placing her hand gently on the other woman's shoulder. She too had noticed JJ's increasing agitation, but Reid's accusations that JJ might not be complying with her current drug therapy were more serious than Emily was willing to ignore. "JJ?" She asked softly, trying not to let too much of the disappointment seep into her voice, "is that true?"

JJ gulped and seconds later shrugged, her eyes nervously darting around as if looking for some way to escape.

"JJ, I need to you open your mouth for me so I can check and make sure you took the pills." Emily cringed, knowing that this was something she had to do, but also wishing there was some other way.

Slowly, the blonde opened her mouth, pulling at her cheeks to reveal her gums in a custom that Emily could sense she was much more familiar with than Emily herself was.

"She just swallowed them because she was caught" Reid accused.

Emily smiled at JJ despite the sinking feeling that Reid was more correct than Emily really wanted to admit. Satisfied that at least this vital dosage had made it into JJ's system, she forced a gentleness into her voice, "I'm sorry for not trusting you JJ. Your medicine is just so important that we can't take a risk."

JJ nodded, tuning out the others as she refocused her attention on the Spanish Soap before her.

Emily sighed and turned back to the others, plastering a grim smile on her face. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Derek promised, turning to Spencer and grumbling, "Isn't it Reid?"

"If she's not taking her medications—" Spencer rambled, as if unsettled that the others didn't believe him, "It's a serious problem. 42.3 %—"

"I'll watch out for it." Emily promised, mentally adding another step to the checklist that seemed to grow daily with things she needed to help JJ with. Seeing JJ stifle a yawn as she shifted her weight against the couch, Emily quickly stood and turned off the television. "Alright JJ, it's getting late."

"It's only 8:30." Reid countered obliviously.

"I think it's time for us to go." Derek grabbed Reid by the shirt, forcing the younger man to stand. "Good night Em."

Morgan practically shoved Reid outside, forcing himself not to slam the door behind them. "What the hell was that?" He bellowed as he pushed the lanky genius up against the wall just outside Emily's apartment.

"What?" Reid retorted, feigning oblivion.

"You _know_ what." Derek growled, "Why are you acting like this?"

Reid opened his mouth to retort, but quickly closed it again. "She didn't take the pills."

"That doesn't explain the rest of why you're acting like a jealous five year old." Derek insisted.

"You wouldn't understand." He admitted finally, trying to push Morgan away.

"Try me." Derek ordered, shoving Reid a little more forcefully against the wall.

"This wasn't supposed to happen to her." Reid muttered, dropping his gaze as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"So it's her fault?" Morgan asked incredulously. "You're _blaming_ her?"

"What?" Reid asked, horrified, "No!" The younger man sighed, "It's just…she was supposed to be okay."

Derek stood unmoving, prompting Reid to continue.

"I just—I didn't think—I've never thought _JJ_ would be the one that needed _me_." Spencer admitted. "Happy?" He asked impatiently, obviously uncomfortable with the way this conversation was progressing. Truthfully, he hadn't really analyzed his own reaction in depth, partially because he already knew the answer he was afraid to acknowledge.

"And that makes it okay to yell at her?" Derek asked, not willing to let Reid off the hook so easily. Sure the young genius had issues in social situations, but Morgan cared enough not to let this go until he knew for sure what was going on.

"Yes." Reid admitted immediately, "No. I don't know. Just leave me alone."

"Seriously kid, tell me what's going on or I go to Hotch." Morgan warned.

Reid's face blanched at the threat. He debated inwardly, finally relaxing and confessing softly "It's just, hard." He disclosed. "She reminds me of someone. Can I go now?"

Derek released his grasp on the younger profiler. "I'm sorry man, but that doesn't give you free reign to treat JJ like shit." He followed Reid closely. "Some things—"

"Derek, seriously, just leave it alone. Back off." Reid was practically begging now.

"I _won't_ leave it alone. I know it's hard, especially considering JJ's our friend, but we have to be there for her—"

"She reminds me of my mother!" Reid spat. "Now. Just…leave me alone."

Derek sputtered for a minute, surprised. "Reid—"

"No, you don't understand. JJ—JJ was my best friend. And now, she's just like _her_."

"Kid…" Derek breathed, rubbing his head thoughtfully as if it might provide some sort of guidance for what he should say, "You—"

"No!" Reid turned around, his eyes red as he held back his emotions, "You don't get to be nice to me now. I was wrong. I know it is transference. I _know _that. I should have seen it coming and recognized the signs…" The younger man's voice hitched with self loathing, "None of the rest of you have made that mistake."

"Reid—we're all dealing with it. Just in our own ways."

"Oh really?" Spencer scoffed.

"Yes really. Haven't you seen that Emily and Hotch act like JJ's divorced parents fighting out some custody agreement?" Derek pointed out. "Or how Rossi has managed to find VICAP interviews to keep him busy for the next thirty years?"

"It's not the same—" Reid groaned.

"Or how Garcia goes home every day and cries for hours? What about how I've been in therapy?" Morgan admitted, grimacing at the look of surprise that crossed the younger man's face. "We all are struggling to deal with this."

Spencer fell silent for a minute, processing the information that Morgan had provided, after a minute, he sighed, "My mom was always sick." Reid murmured, "But when I was thirteen she stopped taking her meds."

Derek stayed quiet, intrigued at the insight Spencer was providing but knowing that he needed to get it off his chest.

"She had a tough time taking her pills too." Reid sighed as chewed his lip thoughtfully, "I—it's seeing her like this. It's JJ. She's not supposed to be like this."

Derek nodded grimly. "You're right. She's not. But she is like this, so are we going to be there for her or not?"

"I don't know if I can." Spencer admitted defeatedly. It wasn't that he didn't want to help JJ, he just didn't know if he could.

"That's okay." Derek encouraged softly, "But the rest of us will be here to pick up the pieces until you do."


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Note: **_Sp__ecial thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: savetonight; hxchick; zzz-zzz84; Love-B .xo; crazyobsession101; and SparkleInTheSun. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that. _

_Also, special thanks to brynnifer and littlegreenbottle for beta'ing this all. Thanks guys!_

_I was originally going to break these into two separate chapters, but since I wasn't able to update for a while, I thought I'd just throw them together. This is JJ's really good day-it was bound to happen sometime, but unfortunately it won't last for long._

* * *

Almost a week later, Emily opened the door to make sure JJ had woken up. She felt her heart swell with pride at the sight of the blonde on the floor with a blanket wrapped securely around her.

It was such a simple thing—something that if she hadn't spent the last two weeks around JJ's crippled emotional state, she wouldn't have blinked twice at.

But JJ, at some point in the night after Emily had helped her fall back asleep around midnight, had pulled the blanket off the bed.

Beaming with a mixture pride and a pang of sorrow at what such a simple act truly meant, she hesitated to wake the blonde—not wanting to disturb the other woman in a rare moment of slumber. Hearing the clock chime, she sighed and spoke gently to rouse the blonde, "JJ, it's time to get up." She tried to plaster a happy smile on her face thought JJ flinched and scrambled against the wall as she tried to remember her surroundings.

Well used to JJ's terror at waking up in the morning, Emily waited until JJ got her bearings. "We've got to spend a few hours at the BAU before your physical therapy appointment today."

"But I don't want to go." JJ murmured softly in Spanish.

Emily bit her lip, proud of the progress JJ was making but also knowing she needed to prod her to answer in English. "English, JJ." She commanded, wincing at the harshness of the words. "Can you say it in English?"

JJ shrugged and moved to her feet wiping away the sleep from her eyes with the back of her fist and followed Emily down the stairs.

Emily poured JJ's instant breakfast into a glass, adding a thick scoop of ice cream before stirring it quickly. "After Physical Therapy, we can come home and take a nap before we go see Dr. Mayfield." Emily explained. Once she was satisfied that the concoction had developed a milkshake-like quality, she held it out to JJ.

Reluctantly, the blonde took the chocolate drink and sipped the thick liquid slowly. Emily's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Breakfast didn't always go this smoothly—today was just a good day. Chalking it up to JJ's medication that made her more thirsty than normal, Emily smiled happily.

"Is there anything you would like to do today?" She asked, knowing JJ would likely shake her head or shrug just like she had done every day for the last few weeks.

Just as Emily had anticipated, JJ shrugged but continued to drink the instant breakfast shake that Emily had provided.

As JJ finished her shake, Emily beamed proudly. "Would you like some more?" She asked, suspecting that just like every other morning JJ would shake her head.

This time, Emily was surprised that JJ ducked her head and blushed slightly. "¿Agua?" She phrased the single word as a question but Emily gaped at her in surprise.

It had been a long time since JJ asked for anything. In fact, Emily was at a loss to come up with even one example where JJ had _asked_ for her basic needs to be met.

A proud smile erupted along Emily's face, "Absolutely JJ."

She watched with pride and delight as JJ slowly sipped a large glass of water. Once she was satisfied JJ had finished, she helped JJ back up the stairs. JJ paused automatically at the entrance to the bathroom that only she used while Emily stepped inside, well used to the familiar routine while Emily quickly checked it for a sudden razor or sharp object. Satisfied, she turned to JJ who was waiting anxiously in the doorway. "Can you be ready in 25 minutes?"

JJ nodded slowly and stepped into the bathroom.

Emily quickly excused herself, waiting next to the closed door until she was satisfied JJ had begun getting ready. Darting to her own bathroom, she quickly threw off her clothes and jumped in the shower, preparing herself for the day at lightning speed.

Seemingly seconds later, Emily was out of the shower and fully dressed, standing outside her closet looking for the final accessories to complete her outfit. Emily looked intensely through her closet, surprised that she couldn't seem to find a _single_ belt to wear. A loud crash from JJ's bathroom drew her attention.

"JJ, what happened?" Emily crashed through the bathroom door, unwilling to let even a seconds hesitation be the reason that JJ could be injured. Looking over the other woman, she signed in relief that there seemed to be no immediate injuries.

JJ's damp hair clumped in ringlets along her back, making her look far younger than her 35 years. JJ's towel was draped tightly around her body, and Emily winced momentarily at the way her shoulder and collar bones seemed to jut out of her skin.

Looking up guiltily, JJ held up the ipod in her hand with a scowl. Grimacing angrily, she explained in English, "I don't like that song."

Relief washed over Emily like a tidal wave, "Oh." She said simply, unable to really come up with any other response.

"It's broken." JJ bit her lip in concentration, pushing the buttons on the device more firmly as if by doing so she could repair the damage.

"Here," Emily took the device from JJ to see if there was anything she could do to fix it. One glance at the ipod told Emily the music player was beyond repair—the display was cracked, the casing was split in two with only a few wires connecting the front from the back. _How did she-?_ Emily pushed the thought aside before smiling at JJ encouragingly, "Get dressed and maybe we'll see if we can buy you another one."

Closing the door behind her, Emily leaned up against the wall and closed her eyes, trying to force back the tears that burned against the back of her eyelids.

Emily had to choke back a sob as she realized the full weight of what had happened today. Not only had JJ moved a blanket without asking, but she was angry—_really angry_ at something. Up until now, JJ had acted like a shell of a person, walking around in a perpetual state of fear and terror.

But if the broken ipod was any indication—JJ had just gotten angry.

And maybe—just maybe—life wasn't nearly as bad as Emily thought.

* * *

Emily felt herself almost bursting with pride as they entered the small electronics store. She figured JJ might do better in a small store than in a larger supermarket and as JJ's hands clung to Emily's arm she couldn't help but feel like maybe that was a brilliant idea. Though JJ followed easily, she stopped in the doorway as she scanned the room.

Emily watched JJ with interest as the younger woman completed her usual ritual. Emily still wasn't sure if JJ was scanning the room for exits, but she noticed that the blonde's eyes usually settled on any security cameras, exits, windows, and anyone in the room.

When JJ stepped closer to Emily, the brunette smiled as she guided JJ gently into the store.

"Can I help you?" A young man greeted them, wiping a thick lock of dark hair out of his eyes.

"Yeah, we're looking for an ipod." Emily smiled and patted JJ's hand reassuringly.

"Right over here." The kid pointed out the various models explaining the features and price of each one.

"What about this one?" Emily suggested, pointing to an expensive model with video capabilities. Turning to JJ, she smiled encouragingly, "We could put some pictures on it for you to look at while you listen to your music."

She was surprised to see JJ shake her head slowly, "No."

"Why not, JJ?" Emily asked in confusion.

JJ shook her head softly, tracing the outline of the least expensive ipod as her other hand fished in the pocket of her sweat pants. "Can we come back another time?" She asked Emily softly in Spanish, a hint of hope in her voice. "Later?"

"JJ, we can get you one today. Which one would you like?" Emily smiled encouragingly.

JJ shrugged but stared at the case full of electronic devices, the distinct sound of change rustling around in JJ pockets piqued Emily's interest.

"JJ, why don't you want to get one today?" Emily asked, completely perplexed. JJ's ipod was like her constant companion. She had seemed so excited to get a new one, right up until they looked at the items in the display case.

JJ ducked her head, a slight blush rushing to her cheeks. "I don't have time to work that off." JJ mumbled, the Spanish blending together quickly as Emily fought to interpret what she was saying. "It will take too long, and there's not enough time."

"Time for what?" Emily asked, baffled.

"To make money." JJ's blush rose up her cheeks as she pulled out the change in her pocket. JJ looked down longingly at the three dollars and thirty-four cents she had slowly collected in pennies, nickels, and dimes. The prices listed for the devices seemed insurmountable. "I—I don't have enough money."

Emily gaped at her charge, completely floored by the blonde's revelation. Up until this point, JJ had never questioned Emily's willingness to buy anything for her. Now that Emily thought about it, she hadn't taken JJ to the store in a while so it was entirely possible JJ didn't realize she had been buying food and clothing for her. Like a hand opening a curtain, JJ's reasoning shed a new light into the blonde's psyche.

"Oh, JJ." Emily rubbed her brow thoughtfully, unsure of what she could possibly say that might make any of this better.

"I already owe you too much." JJ shuffled her feet awkwardly, "But," The hope in JJ's eyes cut Emily more sharply than any knife could have as a thought struck the blonde, "if you tell me what you want me to do now, then maybe I can—"

Emily felt her heart drop to her stomach and quickly held up a hand to stop JJ's suggestion before it made her sick. She knew what tasks JJ had likely been forced to complete for money, and was just too much to think that JJ was hopefully requesting some form of prostitution. She had thought JJ just understood that Emily was using funds from the Bureau as a result of JJ's injuries. Instead, it became readily apparent that JJ expected she would have to repay Emily somehow.

At Emily's obvious disapproval, JJ hung her head dejectedly.

Forcing down a lump in her throat, Emily pushed herself to smile kindly at her friend. "Jayje, what if I buy it for you? As a gift?"

JJ snapped her head up in shock. "Really?" Her face fell as a thought struck her. Dejected, she shook her head and muttered in Spanish, "But I already owe you so much."

"You don't owe me anything JJ." Emily fought down her emotions and forced her tone to remain light. "We're friends. Friends take care of each other."

"You'd buy this, for me? And I don't owe you anything?" JJ whispered skeptically in the foreign tongue, as if she didn't dare to allow herself to hope.

Emily bit her lip and nodded, forcing the smile on her fact to remain bright. "Really, do you want to pick out the color?" She nodded at the boy behind the counter who was eyeing the women's interchange with curiosity.

JJ grinned excitedly, the first real genuine smile Emily had seen in a long time. As JJ studiously picked out a bright blue ipod, Emily felt her heart swell.

Things were not alright by any stretch of the imagination.

But they were getting better.


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note: **_Sp__ecial thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: Lilly145; crazyobsession101; and SparkleInTheSun; youdude; canny-brian; and Love-B .xo. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that. _

_Also, special thanks to brynnifer and littlegreenbottle for beta'ing this all. Thanks guys! FYI, this chapter is probably one of my favorite chapters in this story. I actually decided to move it up in the story just so I could get to this already because I love the rare/small insight into JJ's internal thought process. Up until this point, I've kind of seen her as simply surviving, not really having any sort of internal dialogue. If you haven't guessed, JJ's suffering from slight Stockholm Syndrome along with being absolutely terrified of Manuel, so that's an interesting balance. Anyway, I will stop rambling and let you get on with the story._

* * *

"Alright, is there anything you need before you go to bed?" Emily asked warily, leaning against the doorframe three nights later.

JJ bit her lip, checking to make sure she had her new ipod and shook her head. She hadn't needed anything for a long time. Ignoring the throbbing pain in her hip that had been bothering her all day, she shook her head almost imperceptibly.

She saw Emily furrow her brow in disappointment, and felt a pang of longing to communicate with her friend. Emily nodded, checked to make sure the small night light was working, and stopped just before closing the door, "Remember JJ, I'm just down the hall if you need me." She smiled as she said the familiar parting line.

JJ nodded, momentarily panicked at the thought of being alone. She felt a surge of loneliness as Emily shut the door—reminded once again of the chasm that separated her from her friends.

She was trying—but she wasn't sure they could ever understand.

She wasn't sure she even understood herself.

And she couldn't help but feel like her very presence around her friends painted a target squarely on their backs.

If anything happened to them, it would be her fault. Because she knew that Manuel couldn't do anything to protect them now.

And she hadn't been trying to get away. When Manuel found her, he would punish her.

And he would do it by hurting the people she cared about.

Taking in a deep breath, she reminded herself for the millionth time that this was different. This wasn't Manuel's basement. Nor was it one of Manuel's friends' bases of operations.

This was Emily's condo.

She was safe here.

Turning off the lights, she quickly jumped onto the bed and pulled the covers up close to her face. Placing the buds in her ears and turning on her ipod, she felt her breathing increase rapidly as the smell of rain wafted to her nostrils.

Panic struck her as she smelled the distinct aroma of the atmosphere changing to prepare for rain. Her hands began to sweat, and she bit her lip nervously as a memory pulled at her mind.

_Her head throbbed painfully as she jostled in what she assumed was the trunk of a car. "Emily?" She called out blankly, trying to decipher the blurry images that were only barely coming into focus. The car screeched suddenly to a stop and her body slammed up against the back seat before ricocheting back to the trunk door._

_The trunk opened, and several men she had never seen before loomed over her. "Where's my friend?" She asked, angrily pulling at her arms only to discover they were tightly bound behind her back._

_She was shocked when a fist she hadn't seen coming connected with her jaw. "You talk when we tell you to talk, comprende?"_

_She tried to kick one of the men as he lifted her out of the trunk, only to be dropped forcibly on hard packed dirt. "Puta, you will learn quickly." The large man chuckled before grabbing her cuffed hands and dragging her along the dirt._

_"Let me go!" She cried, thrashing as violently as she could, all the while feeling rocks, dirt, and plants scraping along her legs and back. A sudden kick to her stomach knocked the wind right out of her. Gasping for breath, she couldn't do anything when the handcuffs were released, only to have her arms refastened to some object above her head as she lay on the ground. She felt a rib crack as another swift kick impacted her stomach._

_"Now, Puta, I will tell you how this is going to be." The man who had dragged her informed in a thick Spanish accent while she struggled to breathe, "This—" He gestured to the dark, empty expanse around himself, "is your life now. You belong to Manuel."_

_"Go to hell—" She spat, pulling hard on the chains that effectively immobilized her arms. Screaming as loud as she could for help, she hoped that someone would hear her—her team had to be looking for her._

_The men standing behind the large man hooted, only to be silenced when the large man turned and looked at them angrily. When he looked back at JJ, he smile lecherously, "Scream all you want, whore. In case you didn't notice, we're in the middle of nowhere. No one can hear you scream."_

_JJ yanked at her arms, desperate to break free as the man reached into his back pocket and pulled out a syringe. The men behind him quickly stepped up and held JJ's right arm steady while the first man plunged an unknown liquid into JJ's veins._

_She could feel the burning liquid running through her body and her vision soon blurred. "That will be quite a trip." The man chuckled as his body morphed in JJ's mind to that of a cartoon-like figure. He turned and motioned to his companions who started moving towards the car._

_"Where are you going?" JJ screamed, arching her back as she could swear she felt some unknown assailant creeping up her skin._

_The first man chuckled, opening the door and sliding into the drivers' seat. "We'll be back in two days. Have fun, puta."_

_As the car drove off, JJ felt rain hit her face lightly. With each drop, the images in front of her mind shifted, becoming more and more devious._

_One hope kept her anchored: The team would find her. She knew it._

She put her hands up against her temple, trying desperately to block out the images that she just couldn't stop. She slid off the bed, pulling the blanket and pillows with her as she huddled against the wall for protection. The scene shifted in her mind as she pulled the blankets tighter around her as distant thunder rumbled in her ears.

_She had been sick for days—and for a moment she felt a thrill of relief that she just might die._

_Because after nearly three months in this hell-hole, she was fairly certain that death was the only way she'd ever be able to escape—but that didn't mean she was ready to stop trying._

_She could barely think coherently when a man with a hood over his head and his hands bound in front of him was pushed through the door leading to her basement prison. Shuddering violently, she forced herself to open her eyes and watch closely when she saw Manuel turn and close the door behind him._

_Manuel stepped up to the other man and ripped the hood off the man's head. "You help her, and I will let you go." He said. For a minute, JJ felt a thrill of longing at hearing even the smallest phrase spoken in English, grateful—for once—that she could understand what was being said._

_The man turned, and gasped. "That's the FBI Agent—the one that's missing" JJ could feel a smile grace her lips at the relieving thought that her team was still looking for her._

_Manuel nodded, "and, like I said Dr. Robinson, if you help her, I will let you go."_

_She was only vaguely aware of Manuel cutting the other man's bonds and the other man looking over her quickly. "She's freezing." He stated, obviously pointing out the dirty t-shirt that barely covered her knees._

_"I know that, idiot!" Manuel snapped, "I brought you here to tell me things I didn't know."_

_JJ felt the man, who she assumed was the doctor, pull open her mouth and hold down her tongue as she shivered uncontrollably. "I'm not going to hurt you." He assured kindly._

_After feeling his hands prod various parts of her body—gratefully not in the way she had been woefully accustomed—she heard the doctor hiss angrily. "This woman is severely dehydrated and looks to be suffering from exposure."_

_JJ whimpered at the pain exuding from her body. Glancing over at Manuel, she felt a wave of relief that he didn't seem angry—yet. In fact, he seemed thoughtfully considering the doctor's advice._

_"What do I do? I can't have my investment injured so quickly." Manuel asked. _

_JJ felt a swell of emotion rise as she realized that Manuel was going to make sure she got better, that some of this pain would have an ending._

_"I need something to clean some of these injuries." Dr. Robinson knelt down and she winced as he prodded gently at the cut under her eye. Sensing Manuel's hesitation, the doctor turned sharply. "Look, she needs a blanket, something warm. Please!" The doctor pleaded. The doctor's voice dropped and JJ couldn't make out what he was saying. Something was said about not being outside and JJ shuddered as she recalled where she had slept the last few months._

_The cold concrete beneath her was a welcome change to the hard dirt she usually spent her nights._

_JJ suddenly felt warmth around her for the first time that she could remember as the kind man tucked the blanket around her. Allowing a small moan to escape her lips as the soft fabric brushed along the scab on her back, she found the doctor's eyes looking to her kindly, and felt his breath on her as he whispered, "When I get out of here, I'll come back for you. I promise." _

_She felt her heart surge with relief at the sincerity behind his words. _

_Someone cared. _

_Someone would help her._

_Maybe this would all be over soon._

_Turning to Manuel, he spoke up firmly, "She needs to get out of these clothes—something clean and warm would help her heal." _

_"She's fine." Manuel huffed. "I don't buy clothes for my dog, why does she need anything better?"_

_"Because she's a human being!" The doctor retorted incredulously, "These clothes are filthy! Who knows what bacteria and grime is festering in the cloth that will infect any of these cuts? She needs something clean and warm. She needs to sleep on a mattress."_

_"That's not going to happen." Manuel spat in disagreement. "You can take the clothes off her, that's all." He ground out._

_The doctor sighed, relenting. Pulling the blanket away for only a second, he grimaced as he ripped the torn, dirty rags from JJ's body. "I'm not going to hurt you." The kind doctor promised again, and dropped his voice to a low whisper, "I promise. I'll come back for you." _

_With his back turned, he didn't see Manuel's face harden with rage. _

_But JJ did._

_She opened her mouth to alert her savior to the danger he was facing, but no sound came out. She heard the gun click and felt a sickening tug at her heart as the loud bang reverberated through the basement. _

_The doctor fell in a heap next to her, blood oozing out of the hole in his forehead._

_All because he wanted to help her._

_She visibly shook her head, reminding herself that Manuel was the one who was manipulating the entire situation. She was so sick she could barely move, though she tried to roll away gently from the innocent man's body._

_Manuel shook his head sadly and stooped down next to her, tugging her back towards the growing puddle of blood. "You need to see the consequences of your actions. I didn't want to have to do that, Alejandra." He lifted up her head and offered her a cup of water that she hadn't realized he was holding. "But you made me do that. If you hadn't gotten sick, he would have never needed to come here."_

_JJ bit her lip, trying to keep the tears from springing to her eyes. She knew Manuel couldn't possibly be right. He was the one keeping her here, he was the one pulling the trigger, and he was the one who brought the doctor here._

_Despite the guilt she felt—it wasn't her fault._

_At least, that's what she would keep reminding herself._

_"If he hadn't wanted to help you, I might have let him go." Manuel added. _

_JJ pulled the blanket up closer to her chin, grimacing as his words struck her resolve._

_Was it her fault that the doctor wanted to help her?_

_Manuel did tell him that Manuel would let him go._

_Maybe if she hadn't been so sick, maybe the kind man would still be alive._

_But it was Manuel that pulled the trigger, she reminded herself. _

_It wasn't her fault._

_Was it?_

_Seeing JJ's inner turmoil, Manuel turned to leave, ignoring the dead man on the floor just inches away from JJ's shivering naked body, "Get some rest, Alejandra."_

_Looking over at the dead man, JJ's resolve quickly broke. If he hadn't wanted to save her, he would have lived._

_Maybe it was really her fault._

She glanced at the door and bit her lip nervously, knowing that Emily was only feet away. A flash of lightning brought a flood of memories—these, just glimpses of some of the horrible situations she couldn't forget.

_—A little girl running away, disappearing from view through the small hole in the large fence as JJ was tackled from behind—her hip separating painfully from its socket as she hit the ground.—_

_—Her body aching as a man stepped off her, screaming for this torment to stop-only for another man to straddle her hips, lean down lecherously, and whisper softly "This is going to be fun"—_

_-Manuel handing her the hot iron and commanding her to place the tip against the soft skin of her back. She weighed her options reluctantly, knowing that if she didn't do it herself life would be much harder. Placing the tip against her skin, she screamed as the white hot searing pain consumed her. Manuel smiled and took the stick from her when he was satisfied, "Now, Alejandra, you have my mark."—_

_—A kick to her already delicate ribs made her roll quickly and vomit the small amount of liquid and food that somehow managed to still be in her stomach despite days without food. "It is pronounced, hacer" The man insisted in quick Spanish, dropping the 'h' sound, "not Hacer" he emphasized the H gutturally, "Hacerlo bien, puta."—_

Another flash of lightning pulled her from her thoughts and sent her tripping down the hall. Hesitating at the door for only a second, a loud clap of thunder sent her barreling through Emily's door.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note: **_Sp__ecial thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: hxchick; zzz-zzz84; crazyobsession101; SparkleInTheSun; stefi; and Black Angel of the Underworld. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that. _

_Also, special thanks to brynnifer and littlegreenbottle for beta'ing this all. Thanks guys! _

_I didn't want to make you all wait for the next chapter. If you thought that the last chapter was heavy, just you wait. And, as a reviewer pointed out, it is amazing that JJ is as functional as she is right now-but I believe that is part of strength. True strength isn't allowing something to leave you completely unchanged, it's fighting when every hope in the future has been decimated. Anyway, I'll step off my soapbox, but just be warned, some of the upcoming chapters are rather heavy. And, as another reviewer pointed out her hope, JJ does try to confide in Emily here...she just does it the best way she can right now._

* * *

Emily sighed wearily. She had been on her phone filling Hotch in on JJ's appointments for the day, and seeing JJ crashing through her bedroom door made her end the call without as much as a word goodbye. "JJ? Is everything okay?"

JJ ran to the side of Emily's bed, collapsing in her arms. "Mi manta. He shot him-" JJ rambled as sobs wracked her body, unable to stop the words from escaping from her lips her memories bleeding together as she avoided the bed and slid to the floor. "Estaba tan fría. I didn't mean to make him do it. No podía permitir que la niña a ser como yo."

Emily registered three things almost simultaneously. First, JJ was absolutely terrified. Second, she had absolutely no idea what to do.

Wrapping a strong arm around JJ's shoulders, Emily quickly slid off the bed and knelt near the terrified blonde to check her for injuries. "JJ, honey what's wrong, are you hurt?"

A loud clap of thunder roared above them and JJ jumped, pulling Emily close to her for comfort.

"The storm?" Emily asked with understanding dawning as JJ clung to Emily like her life depended on it as a low rumble of thunder shook through the condo. "It's okay JJ." Emily comforted softly, secretly praying that JJ would suddenly calm down and she wouldn't need to pull out the medication that Emily felt she had used far too often for JJ's late night episodes.

She was so tired, and it was only ten-thirty.

If she didn't help JJ get to sleep soon, it would be another night full of comforting the other woman's nightmares.

As much as she wanted to help her friend, she didn't know how much more she could take.

Because JJ's nightmares didn't take a day off, and the team had been away on a case for the last week.

So she'd been left to care for JJ completely on her own.

Twenty-four hours a day for the last seven days.

She wasn't sure how much longer she could go without more than two hours of sleep a night.

"JJ, I'm here, it's okay." She sighed and insisted again, checking JJ quickly to ensure she wasn't hurt or feverish. Pulling her large down comforter off the bed, she wrapped it around JJ securely. "It's going to be ok JJ." She promised, rubbing JJ's back in a circular pattern. "I'm going to get your pills, but I'll be right back."

Sliding over to the gun safe just a few feet away, she quickly got to the medicine and felt her heart drop as she eyed the last two pills remaining in the bottle as if they were mocking her.

It was another thing she'd have to find time to do tomorrow—take JJ to get some more pills for her panic attacks.

One more thing to add to the list already packed with doctor's appointments, physical therapy exercises, and finding time to do at least three consults while JJ was either in an appointment, or trying in vain to take a nap.

She shuddered at the thought of taking JJ into a store full of people to get the prescription filled.

Because the only thing more terrifying than forcing JJ into public was the thought of JJ having a panic attack without anything to help her.

As she turned around, the severity of the situation descended on her like a heavy weight from which there was no escape. Crouching down next to her friend, she didn't bother to hide her tears of exhaustion.

Holding the pills out to the blonde, she tried to smile through her tears. "This will make it better, it will make the storm go away." She promised as she placed the pills gently into JJ's hand. She felt a pang of awareness that she was no better than JJ's captors in the last three years who had drugged the blonde into submission. She knew there was a more therapeutic way to do this, a way that let JJ find herself—but she had no idea what it was.

JJ looked at the pills in her trembling hand and looked to Emily through her own tears for confirmation. Reluctantly, she slowly put the pills in her mouth. Another clap of thunder sounded overhead and JJ hugged Emily quickly for comfort, tears running down her face in pure terror.

"It'll be okay, I'm here." Emily promised, her own tears streaming down her face as she tried to comfort the distraught woman. There had to be a better way to reassure JJ—and Emily was certain that if the roles were reversed, JJ would have some marvelous comforting words—but she was so exhausted. "I'm here." She settled for lamely as she held JJ tightly. "I'm here."

.oOo.

Hotch pounded impatiently at Emily's door twenty minutes later. They had just taxied through the runway when he called Emily to check up on JJ. The last thing he heard was a door crashing open before Emily ended the call and refused to answer. Realizing that he was probably overreacting, but panicked nonetheless, he drove with sirens blaring all the way from the airport to Emily's condo.

Emily opened the door, and Hotch quickly took notice of her red puffy eyes. Pushing away his concern, he peeked into her condo, "What happened? How is she? Is she okay?"

"She's fine." Emily said softly, brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ears. "The thunder—something about rain and she—" Emily sighed and gestured to the blonde that Hotch could see huddled on the couch, "She doesn't do well with the rain."

Emily followed Hotch as he entered her home but stopped just inside the kitchen. Truthfully, he knew it was wiser to let JJ stay with Emily—a trained female agent who was both capable of protecting the blonde and identifying with her—but leaving JJ in the hands of someone else where he couldn't watch over her did nothing to satisfy his worry.

"JJ, Hotch is here." Emily announced unable to mask the exhaustion in her voice, pinching the bridge of her nose to get her to concentrate. "Maybe you can go back to bed?" She offered hopefully.

JJ glanced over at Hotch and shook her head before pulling her legs tightly to her chest and biting her thumbnail nervously as she turned her focus back to the Soap Opera on TV.

"She's almost asleep." Emily explained as she sat down at her kitchen counter and motioned for Hotch to do the same. Hotch watched JJ carefully and sure enough her head bobbed tiredly as she fought sleep. "In another ten minutes, she'll be out completely." Emily explained softly, gesturing for him to take the seat beside her. She gulped down the mild decaf coffee and shirked Hotch's questioning look. "It's decaf."

Hotch, focused on the woman next to him, felt a pang of concern at the dark circles under her red puffy eyes. "Emily, are _you_ okay?" He momentarily regretted asking the question, long ago accepting that he and Emily had lost even the pretext of friendship. He forced that regret aside—Emily was a trusted colleague, and without her JJ would be in far worse condition.

"What do you care?" Emily snapped quickly, easily remembering all of the snide comments Hotch had made in the last three years. "JJ's fine, that's all that matters."

"Emily, you look dead on your feet." Hotch observed, chiding himself inwardly for his lack of tact. "You know you can depend on us—all of us—if this gets too much to handle, you can call any of us."

"When exactly am I supposed to do that?" Emily retorted quickly. "I call someone to come help and then what?" She asked, teetering on the edge of losing control of her emotions. "I have to run back here?"

"What happened with Garcia could have happened to anyone." Hotch defended quietly, effectively taking the sails out of Emily's next point.

Emily sighed, the exhaustion clearly written across her face. "I know. And I don't blame Garcia, I'm just…" She searched for a word to explain what she meant, "_tired._" She snorted back an inappropriate chuckle as she thought of Garcia's frantic call nearly a week ago.

_"What's wrong?" Emily answered her phone without so much as 'hello'. Penelope had almost pushed her out of her condo with a gift certificate for a pedicure, insisting Emily needed some well-deserved time alone. Looking down at the Vietnamese woman currently clipping her toenails, she whispered, "Can you please hurry?"_

_"I don't—Emily, I don't know what happened! I don't know where it could be!" Penelope's frantic whispers sounded in Emily's ear. "I—I turned my back for a second."_

_"Where's JJ? Is everything alright with JJ?" Emily asked, panicked. If the Asian woman didn't have a firm grasp on her feet, she'd already be dashing to her car right now. _

_"She's on the couch—Emily, it's gone."_

_Feeling a wave of relief wash over her that JJ wasn't currently hurt, Emily relaxed slightly. "What's gone, P?"_

_"I—you told me she liked carrots, so I was going to make a salad." Garcia rambled slightly, and Emily nodded remembering the vegetables, bowl, and knife Penelope had brought. "Em, I swear, I turned my back for a _**second **_and it was gone."_

_Emily was struck with a pang of dread as she realized what Garcia was frantically searching for, "A knife? You let her have a knife?" She was practically yelling now. Shaking her head as the pedicurist picked up the toenail polish Emily selected, she threw a twenty dollar bill at the woman before stumbling to put her shoes on and sprinting out of the store._

_"Emily, I'm so sorry." Garcia was on the verge of tears and Emily couldn't help but feel slightly chagrined at having yelled at the obviously distraught woman. "Derek called, and I turned so I wouldn't bother JJ—and when I turned back, Em it was gone!"_

_Forcing herself to breathe deeply, Emily tried to gather her thoughts. "Have you asked her for it?" She asked._

_"I didn't want to accuse her of anything. I mean, I didn't want to make it worse. Em—I swear, I didn't mean to—"_

_"Penelope, stop." Emily ordered firmly, "it could happen to anyone. I'm on my way back now. I need you to get the knife from her. Tell her that you need it, and you think she might have it."_

_She could hear Garcia scuffle over to where she assumed JJ was. "Jayje, honey, did you see that big knife I left on the counter? I really need it back."_

_"That's good Garcia," Emily encouraged though she wasn't sure if Penelope was listening or not. A long moment of silence followed, and Emily could easily picture JJ eying Garcia cautiously before reaching behind the couch cushion where JJ tended to keep a stash of items she hoarded._

_"Oh, JJ—" Garcia breathed a sigh of relief, leading Emily to assume that JJ handed over the knife. "Don't—" Garcia tried to force anger into her trembling voice, "You can't take this from me, okay Peaches?"_

_Biting her lip as the doctor's warnings to not treat JJ like a child resounded in her ears, Emily forced herself not to comment._

_"Em? I have the knife—I'm so sorry—I-" Garcia was rambling, and Emily didn't have to be a world class profiler to hear the tears in her voice._

_"Pen, it's okay. I'll be home in a few minutes."_

Emily sipped the coffee and blushed, suddenly realizing that it had been minutes since she'd last spoken. She could feel Hotch's eyes cataloguing her, and she shrugged lightly. "It's been a long few weeks, but it's getting better."

Hotch nodded softly. "Listen, Prentiss. I know that you and I haven't always been on the best of terms over the last three years."

Emily scoffed softly, "that's an understatement."

"I just hope that we can get past what we've become. I respect you as an agent. I apologize if—" He hesitated as he tried to find the right words, "if anything I've said or done has made you think otherwise."

Tears sprung to Emily's eyes at his apology. Trying desperately to control her emotions, she tried to wave him off. "It's fine, Hotch."

"No." He insisted, for the first time really seeing the toll this entire situation was taking on Emily. "It's not fine. I just wanted to say thank you for taking JJ and—"

At the mention of the other woman's name, Emily snapped her head quickly to check on the blonde on the couch. "She's asleep." Emily smiled gratefully, almost gleeful at the idea of at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

"Prentiss," Hotch smirked at Emily's infectious excitement. "Why don't I sleep here on the couch? JJ should be out for the rest of the night, let me help."

"You don't have to do that—" Emily sighed, "Really—"

"So I'll carry her upstairs." Hotch interrupted. "You need sleep." He insisted.

Too tired to argue, Emily relented. "Thanks." She smiled. "Just take her up to my room, she'll end up there anyway."

"She's not a child Emily" Hotch chided gently.

"She needs me." Emily retorted. "And if she wakes up in the middle of the night in her room and doesn't remember getting there, and I'm not there to help her—"

"She needs to learn to feel safe in her own room eventually." Hotch interrupted in a harsh whisper, shook his head emphatically, "and you need your own sleep."

"What am I supposed to do?" Emily bit back. Both profilers held their breath as JJ moaned slightly and settled back against the couch in a restless sleep.

Dropping his voice, Hotch looked at Emily pointedly, "You're supposed to take care of yourself. You can't take care of JJ if you're so tired you can barely function."

"I'm fine." Emily snapped, her bloodshot eyes and the dark circles underneath them clearly showing the façade behind her words.

Hotch stopped for a moment, furrowing his brow in confusion. He was certain that Emily was running around on almost no sleep, but he also knew that he and Emily hadn't been on the best of terms for a long time. "Why don't I sleep here on your chair? That way, if JJ needs anything, I can help her—if she needs you, we can call for you?" He suggested, knowing full well that he could handle JJ on his own.

Emily bit her lip thoughtfully, too tired to be able to come up with an adequate argument. "I don't think it's a good idea." She settled on.

"Why? Because **you're** the only one who can take care of her?" Hotch retorted. Sighing, he tried again, "Emily, it will be fine, I promise."

"If she has a nightmare, don't touch her, just let her come around." Emily warned, on the verge of agreeing but debating inwardly if this was the right way to go.

Hotch nodded, beaming inwardly that he was able to fix this entire situation. "If she needs you, I'll call for you."

Emily nodded reluctantly, "Fine, but if she needs me, I'm just upstairs." Emily gave in. "But if she's having a nightmare, talk to her because that helps. And—"

"I know." Hotch interrupted.

"And if you touch her to try to wake her up, it will just make everything worse. So if that happens, there's pills in the cabinet, but it's locked and only I have the key, so just call for me—" Emily rambled.

"I _know_, Emily." Hotch insisted forcefully. Emily had a lot of responsibility heaped on her lately, and now he got his chance to help.

Emily stopped, looking over at JJ with worry. "Are you sure? Because—"

"Go to bed, Emily." Hotch said forcefully. Settling into the overstuffed chair with a good view of the blonde nestled in the corner of the couch, he smirked as he heard Emily slowly retreat up the stairs.

Maybe this wasn't so hard after all.

* * *

**TRANSLATION:**

Mi manta. -My blanket

Estaba tan fría. -_I was so cold_

No podía permitir que la niña a ser como yo. _-I couldn't allow the little girl to become like me.-_(FYI, this is a setup for something in the next chapter...and down the road)


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note: **Special thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; stefi; pandas9; hxchick; youdude; canny-bairn; crazyobsession101; Black Angel of the Underworld; and LoveB -xo. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that.

Also, special thanks to brynnifer and littlegreenbottle for beta'ing this all. Thanks guys!

Again, I will repeat for readers to please mind the rating. This chapter is moderately heavy and hints at adult themes. While not explicit, it is disturbing to me what people will do to one another.

* * *

_JJ moaned as she rolled over on the cold cement floor, her entire body aching with pain. Her hair clung to the back of her neck as sweat dripped down her brow. She swiped at her runny nose with a trembling hand, cursing her body for its dependency on the drugs she detested._

_Not that she had much choice in the matter._

_JJ winced and shut her eyes tightly as she heard people approaching, not bothering to hide the tears that rolled down her cheeks as she prepared for yet another onslaught._

_"Relax Puta, we brought you an apprentice." A man chuckled as he kicked her firmly in her ribs. Several other men and women laughed wickedly as the first man kicked JJ hard once more. Vaguely, JJ was aware of a warm lump that was dropped at her feet._

_"Maybe tomorrow you can teach her to turn a trick. That's when the real fun will begin." The mean brunette woman scoffed. JJ knew her voice too well._

_JJ kept her eyes tightly shut until she heard shoes scuffle about and the door shut forcefully. Surprised that her captors had shut the door—something that even JJ could acknowledge was utterly unnecessary—she breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't even attempted to think about escape in what felt like decades. Cracking her eye open, she gasped at the small figure bound at her feet._

_A little girl, no older than five, with brown curly hair was bound tightly with tears running down her cheeks._

_It had been a long time since JJ felt anything akin to the motherly stirrings she had exhibited with her own son, but at the sight of this little girl she snapped forward with an intensity that previously had only been a memory. She had the girl's restraints undone in seconds and quickly pulled the gag out of the little one's mouth._

_"I want my mommy." The young brunette sobbed as she clutched desperately at JJ's almost non-existent clothing._

_"I—" JJ's tongue stumbled as she forced herself to speak in a language that felt forgotten. "I know…Sweetheart."_

_The girl's sobs stirred an emotion inside JJ that she hadn't felt in a long time._

_"Shhh." She comforted, momentarily amazed at how natural and foreign the words could feel at the same time. After a moment, she stammered softly. "What's—What's your name?" The words were thick and slow as JJ struggled to form the words._

_The little girl sniffed, "Zoey."_

_"I'm Alejan—" JJ stopped, stunned that she seemed to have forgotten her own name. It had been so long since she had introduced herself to anyone and felt like more than an eternity since she had been called anything other than the name Manuel had given her or some other derogatory phrase. "I'm JJ."_

_Zoey sniffed loudly, "I'm scared JJ. I want my mommy."_

_JJ put her arms securely around the little girl, pulling her close and for the briefest minute imagined her own little boy tucked tightly in her arms. "I'm not—" She staggered over the words, "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you." She promised softly, slowly enunciating each word._

_She held the little girl tightly while she tried to come up with some sort of a plan, knowing that her captors wouldn't bother to guard her warehouse door for any attempt at escape. Zoey had curled up against her and softly fallen asleep, probably as a result of sheer exhaustion._

_JJ pulled the small note she had hidden behind a large crate when she was first brought to this place. The note had been written long ago, back when she had some hope of being found. Though her hope was long gone, the note she kept was a single reminder of her life before. _

_Once JJ herself was certain her tormenters were asleep, she quickly shook the little girl awake. "Zoey, you're going to go home to your mommy."_

_She held up her finger to impress the importance of remaining absolutely silent. She knew the little girl was scared, and hoped she could use that fear to give them some chance at escape._

_JJ knew all too well the horrible fate that awaited this beautiful, innocent, and perfect little girl._

_So no matter how petrified JJ was of the consequences, she had to try._

_JJ motioned for Zoey to follow her as she pushed heavily on the sliding door. She grimaced as she threw her entire weight against the door that barely budged. Finding a reservoir of strength that she hadn't known she had, she pushed against the metal door with all her might feeling a surge of power as the door moved underneath her._

_"Let's go." JJ whispered gravely, grabbing the little girl by the hand._

_She ducked around corners, carefully using tactics she had forgotten existed as they silently moved out of the large warehouse. JJ shuddered when they found themselves outside in the darkness, but the little girl clutching desperately onto her hand forced her to focus on the task in front of her. _

_She had no brilliantly thought of plan, no escape that had been meticulously calculated for months._

_The only thing she knew to do was run, and hope they could get far enough away that the monsters could never find them._

_They just had to run._

_The little girl could barely keep up, and JJ tumbled as Zoey tripped over her shoes. The five year old simply couldn't keep up. In the background, JJ could hear distant yelling and the roaring of engines—signifying that somehow she hadn't been as quiet as she had supposed._

_"Zoey, I—" She sighed, trying to focus on making the words come out clearly as she panted heavily from the effort, "I need you to run really fast."_

_"I'm so tired JJ." Zoey looked up to her with trusting eyes, but the tears running down the little girl's face struck another chord that JJ had long ago determined was missing._

_"I know." JJ sighed, realizing her own exhaustion that the adrenaline of the situation had held at bay, "Do you play pretend?"_

_Zoey nodded._

_"I need you to play pretend with me, can you do that?" JJ asked, nervously scanning the open expanse for some way of escape. A long fence stood just a way off and JJ pleaded inwardly that they'd be able to find some protection. She saw lights fly through the dark slats of the fence, exposing one large gap in the bottom about a hundred yards away. "Oh, God, it's a car!" She gasped. "It's a road."_

_"I'm good at pretending." Zoey sniffed, oblivious to JJ's excitement._

_"Good." JJ smiled, running her hands up and down the little girl's arm reassuringly. "I need you to pretend that we're playing in your backyard. We're both going to run as fast as we can and you're going to follow me. We're going to pretend we're having a race in your backyard. Can you do that?"_

_Zoey nodded. "I'm good at pretending." She repeated._

_"Ready, Set, Go." JJ whispered sprinting slowly as the little girl dashed away with her._

_She could feel the presence of her tormentors gaining on them with each step. This time, it was JJ who tripped, sending them both flying into the cold hard dirt. Glancing back, JJ grimaced at the flashlights that were rapidly approaching._

_Right now, Jennifer Jareau had a choice:_

_She could try and help the little girl through the fence but they would likely both get caught—and severely punished. _

_She could abandon the girl and save herself—there was just enough time for her to get away. _

_Or, she could give up her only chance at freedom to save this little girl—and probably be punished more severely than she could even comprehend._

_In the end, it really wasn't a choice at all._

_"Zoey." JJ whispered, pulling out her precious note and tucking it into the little girl's pocket. "I need you to keep this. I need you to give it to someone you trust."_

_Zoey nodded, trying to be brave though her knees were skinned from the fall and her lip quivered._

_"Slide through that hole in the fence, and run until you see a car. Don't stop. If you do that, you'll get to go home to your mommy." She instructed, surprised at how easily the English was beginning to roll off her tongue. "Do you understand?"_

_Zoey nodded. _

_"Zoey, if it's a red truck." JJ shuddered involuntarily at the thought of their captors being the ones to find the five year old running down the road, "You need to hide. Any other car, it's my friend and they will help you, but if it's a red truck you need to hide because they are not my friend."_

_"They're strangers?" Zoey asked, her eyes wide and fearful as she remembered the bad men who had taken her away in the red trucks._

_"That's right." JJ smiled as she smoothed the little girl's hair. "But any other car, they will help you."_

_"Are you coming?" Zoey asked trustingly._

_Seeing their captors rapidly approaching, JJ knew it was time to react. She forced a smile onto her face, her muscles tired at the action they hadn't made in years, "I'll come later." She lied. "Now, Go!" JJ commanded, running in a different direction. She knew that her captors would be able to see her more clearly and hoped that her diversion would save this little girl from the nightmare that awaited her._

_She grinned as she watched Zoey crawl through the hole in the fence just as a huge weight knocked her to the ground. Her hip popped and JJ screamed as her entire body enflamed in excruciatingly vivid pain._

_"Take her back to the warehouse." A man yelled distantly. JJ could barely hear them over her own cries, but even if she had, it wouldn't have mattered._

_The pain in her hip was unbearable. She knew immediately that it was broken—or more likely dislocated—the loud pop was her first clue but the second was her almost complete inability to put any weight on it at all._

_Being half-dragged back to the large warehouse filled with crates of drugs and weapons had only made the awful pain worsen—if that was possible. She knew she passed out along the way, but only because when she woke back up she was somewhere differently entirely with the mean brunette woman holding her arms down tightly._

_"What do we do?" A man asked._

_"Call Manuel." Another voice ordered._

_"He's not going to be happy we broke his merchandise."_

_"Who cares? We need to know if she gave the little puta anything that could identify us."_

Hotch smirked as he read through the book he had borrowed off Emily's shelf a few hours later. He hadn't anticipated most of her literature to consist of sci-fi adventure thrillers, but he also didn't want to wake the sleeping blonde by turning on the TV.

As if on cue, JJ whimpered against the couch and gasped dramatically.

"Are you okay, JJ?" He asked softly, not wanting to disturb her if she was asleep.

"Le di un pedazo de papel." JJ cried softly, obviously still in the throes of sleep. Hotch was surprised that she quickly followed that with a string in English, "I gave her a piece of paper"

_Manuel stood over her as she writhed in pain, the drugs in her system doing nothing to lessen her torment. "I gave her a piece of paper." She admitted, the Spanish phrase rolling easily off her tongue. _

_"I'm disappointed in you Alejandra." Her owner smiled softly, "But your punishment can wait." He gestured to one of the men who grabbed JJ forcefully, not bothering to be mindful of her hip._

_At the jostling of the injury, JJ fell limp in the man's arms, her body unable to comprehend the awful pain radiating from her hip._

Hotch grimaced as he pieced together what must have happened to JJ.

He would do whatever it took to get the bastards that did this to her.

"JJ?" He asked, hoping to catch her in a close enough state of sleep where she could respond to him yet would not be woken up. "JJ, do you know where Manuel kept you?"

"His basement." JJ mumbled.

Hotch smirked as he realized that this was the most JJ had talked to him since they found her.

"Do you know where Manuel's house was?" Hotch asked, pressing for information.

"Oak Lane." JJ murmured, and Hotch's spirits soared.

It was something.

A lead—something more than they'd had in a long time.

He was about to press further when JJ turned and gasped painfully.

"JJ?" He asked, worried by the tortured expression that graced the blonde's face. He winced as the younger woman gave a pained gasp and worried at what nightmare haunted her dreams.

_She leaned tightly against Manuel's strong chest as he carried her down into her basement room. She closed her eyes, ignoring the way he frowned at the comfort she drew from the warmth of his touch. As soon as he reached the final step, he dropped her haphazardly to the ground._

_JJ yelped out in a pain dulled slightly from the strong medication the doctor at the hospital had provided. Looking around, she felt a surge of relief as she saw the blanket heaped in the corner as if offering some protection from the world she had left behind. She slid slightly toward the blanket only to have Manuel shake his head quickly. _

_"Alejandra." He warned, his voice low and furious as he removed the laytex gloves he had insisted on wearing to touch her and brushing off his clothes as if JJ's very presence had defiled something sacred. JJ stopped, fear washing over her in a wave. "You humiliated me." He informed her._

_JJ paused, completely unsure of how to respond, feeling her stomach drop in horrific anticipation of what fate awaited her._

_Manuel stepped over to the closet door she had long ago been forbidden to open and turned the knob. "I didn't want to do this, but you forced my hand."_

_She winced as the door banged against the opposite wall as Manuel flung the heavy door open with relative ease. "Since you didn't want to spend time with my friends, you will stay here until I've decided you've learned your lesson."_

_JJ's heart fell at small dark confined space, shuddering involuntarily at the thought of being cramped in such a tight space._

_She hated tight spaces._

_Manuel knew that._

_At least it wasn't the dogs this time. _

_She hesitated, fighting desperately to force down the fear and anxiety that exploded inside of her. Manuel stood against the door to the closet, waiting expectantly for his command to be obeyed._

_She shook as she pulled herself toward the closet door, her palms sweating and her nose continuing to drip despite the drugs from the hospital coursing through her system. She bit her lip harshly as her entire body began to shake._

_It felt like the entire world was collapsing around her, crushing the air out of her chest. Her heart was beating so rapidly, she thought she was going to have a heart attack._

_She pulled herself closer to the door, biting her lip so hard as to draw blood as time crawled at a snail's pace._

_There was nothing she could see anymore but Manuel standing in front of the door to the dark abyss—everything else seemed to fade into a blurry fog as the fear radiated through her like a fire._

_Pulling herself closer to the open closet door, she fought against the urgent need that welled inside of her to run—she knew better than to run._

_Even if she desperately wanted to._

_She tried to pull herself closer to the door, but her body wouldn't respond. It felt as if she was no longer a part of herself, trapped within herself as she looked around at this body that encapsulated her._

_Right then, she was certain one of two things were going to happen: She would either die or go insane._

_She wasn't sure which was better._

_Manuel watched on in annoyance, waiting for the panic that filled her to subside. _

_She forced herself to breathe slowly and steadily, trying to regain some amount of control over her own body. Though the breathing exercises helped, it felt as though the ground beneath her would crumble away and drop her into the dark nothingness._

_Manuel narrowed his eyes angrily, repeating his command at the woman who had only made it halfway across the room. "Get in the closet, Alejandra."_

_"Please." JJ begged, mustering every fiber of her being to force the plea out of her mouth. "Don't make me. I'm sorry. I'll be good."_

_"Alejandra—"_

_"The little girl." She explained, certain that Manuel would take pity on her—though he never had before. Her words were slow and labored, "She didn't deserve—" _

_Manuel's fury bubbled over and he grabbed JJ by her arms, yanking her toward the open door as she struggled to get away. "Who are **you** to know what the little girl deserved?" He spat in disgust. "You're **nothing**."_

_He tossed JJ toward the threshold of the closet door and JJ winced as she meekly pulled herself further into the darkness._

_"They found the little girl." Manuel told her. "And they're punishing her. It's your fault." JJ's entire resolve shattered at Manuel's words, though some part deep inside her reminded her that Manuel never told her the truth._

_But the part deep inside her was silenced as Manuel looked down at her with disgust. "You ruin everything you touch."_

_The door slammed shut, plunging her world into darkness as a primal scream erupted from her lips._

Hotch, who had leaned forward as he cautiously examined the restless blonde, jumped back in surprise as JJ bolted from the couch and stumbled toward the kitchen.

Hotch trailed behind her, starkly aware that he was completely unprepared for what to do next.

JJ barely made it to the sink before she emptied the contents of her stomach into the cold basin. Retching violently, she sobbed as she clutched tightly to the countertop.

"JJ?" Hotch asked tentatively as her dry heaving subsided. "JJ, how can I help?" He stood far enough off not to scare her, but desperately wanting to do something to lessen the burden the young woman had heaped on her shoulders.

He hadn't understood before.

But he was beginning to understand now.

In a giant sob, JJ collapsed against him, clutching his shirt with a white knuckle grip. His heart broke as he had a pang of fatherly familiarity as the situation reminded him too well of Jack waking up from a nightmare filled with teddy bears and elephants.

If only those were the subject of JJ's dreams.

In fact, he'd be willing to bet that the horrific nightmares of Foyet that woke him in a cold sweat paled in comparison to whatever memory was vividly replaying in JJ's mind.

Slowly, in an effort not to make the situation worse, he placed his arms around her and gingerly lifted her up. Instead of shying away from his contact or growing more anxious as he had feared, JJ buried her head into his chest as if Hotch's body could singularly keep the horrific nightmares at bay.

As he turned back toward the couch, he was only slightly surprised to see Emily nervously standing at the top of the stairs and watching the situation with tears running down her own face.

He sat back on the couch, carefully laying JJ down beside him though she clung frantically to him as if he might suddenly disappear.

"I'm right here, JJ." He soothed. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

He was vaguely aware of Emily retreating back to her bedroom, but kept his focus on the blonde hiding her face against him and pulling him close for security. Wrapping one arm around her, loose enough that she could push him away if she wanted but tight enough that she knew he wouldn't let her go, he promised again. "I'm here JJ."


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Note: **Special thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: canny-bairn; SparkleInTheSun; 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; zzz-zzz84; crazyobsession101; stefi; Black Angel of the Underworld; hxchick; LoveB -xo; and savetonight. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that.

Also, special thanks to brynnifer, SignedSealedWritten and littlegreenbottle for beta'ing this all. Thanks guys!

Sorry for the lack of an update, this chapter and the ones following it were driving me crazy. I think I fixed it though.

* * *

Hotch was aware of the gentle tracing along the cuff of his shirt before he felt a twinge of pang in his neck that reminded him where he spent the night. Creaking one eye open, he felt a pang of fatherly affection as JJ intently stared at the fibers of his long-sleeved dress shirt.

"Morning." Emily chuckled as he jumped back slightly in surprise. She was sitting in the chair he had vacated during the night, watching JJ who hadn't really moved since Emily had joined them.

"Morning." Hotch rubbed his eyes with his free arm, letting JJ continue to finger the buttons on the cuff of his shirt.

"How did she do?" Emily asked softly, not wanting to startle JJ.

"Uh, she had a nightmare." Hotch admitted, creaking his stiff neck. "I must have fallen asleep at some point."

Emily nodded easily. "It happens."

"Emily, wow." Hotch sighed, running his free hand through his matted hair. "I had no idea. I—" He looked at her with sincere awe, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." She waved off his apology easily. Truthfully, the fact that Aaron Hotchner had ensured that she had more than two hours of sleep had melted away any animosity she had previously held. Though she'd be lying if she said she didn't feel a pang of annoyance at how easily JJ had clung to him and allowed him to keep her nightmares at bay, she was thrilled that JJ could rely on someone else.

Ecstatic.

Overjoyed.

At least, she'd keep telling herself that's what she felt and maybe she'd believe it.

Because—even though it was absolutely irrational—part of her felt betrayed.

But no, she waved that thought off quickly, JJ needed other people, and if Hotch helped JJ through the night—in the mean time allowing Emily to catch up on some much needed sleep—then there wasn't a problem.

Again, she'd have to keep reminding herself of that one.

"Why don't the two of you sit here while I make breakfast?" Hotch offered, looking down to the woman tucked against him to make sure she was comfortable with the idea.

JJ shrugged and reluctantly released her light grasp on his wrist and Emily nodded appreciatively. "That would be great."

"How did you sleep?" Emily asked JJ, well aware that she may or may not respond.

JJ shook her head.

"What were the nightmares about?" Emily asked.

"The little girl." JJ replied in Spanish, tears springing to her eyes. "I couldn't save her. I tried. But I couldn't—I couldn't help her."

Emily closed the distance between her and the blonde with tears rolling down her cheeks. "JJ."

"I tried." JJ admitted, burying her head against Emily's chest. "I tried."

"I know JJ." Emily assured, though this conversation was pricking the Law Enforcement Official Strings that had long ago been engrained in her. "Can you tell me more about the little girl?"

JJ pulled back and shook her head softly, chewing nervously on her thumbnail as she visibly curled into herself.

"It's okay." Emily placated, frantically not to have this amazing improvement only serve as another setback. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

JJ shook her head once more, wishing she knew how to say everything she needed to.

She desperately wanted to tell Emily everything she knew.

She just didn't know how.

"Alright." Hotch smiled as he set out eggs, pancakes, and fresh fruit that he somehow managed to have prepared in a matter of minutes. "Breakfast is ready!"

Emily grimaced as she looked at the food displayed on the dining room table. "Hotch—it looks great, but I don't know that JJ will eat—"

Her comment was undermined by the younger woman sitting up at the table and easily eating a forkful of pancakes.

Traitor.

"Oh, so she'll eat for you." Emily muttered sarcastically, forcing away the pang of annoyance that meal-times never seemed to pass this smoothly.

But apparently now they did.

When _Hotch_ was around.

"What can I say?" Hotch sat back smugly, pleased with himself at the sight of JJ eating something substantial. It felt good to be needed. "I have the touch." He scoffed sarcastically.

It may not have been as easy as he thought it would be, he realized, but it was enough.

Emily forced a wry smile on her face though she could feel her heart drop at the truth behind Hotch's words. After all of her efforts, all of the painstaking nights staying up while JJ cried herself to sleep, Hotch did seem to have the touch.

But it just didn't seem fair.

Forcing those thoughts aside, she focused on the blonde who slowly picked at the pancakes in front of her.

It may not be fair, but if it was helping JJ then that was all that mattered.

At least, that's what she would keep telling herself.

And maybe soon, she'd believe it.


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Note: **Special thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: FloatingAomeba; stefi; crazyobsession101; SparkleInTheSun; SignedSealedWritten; youdude (No, though JJ and Hotch will have a special relationship through the story, in this one, JJ wants Will...she's just not ready for that yet. But, he will be back) ; Black Angel of the Underworld; Zolidify; hxchick; L. Wrice. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that.

Also, special thanks to brynnifer, SignedSealedWritten and littlegreenbottle for beta'ing this all. Thanks guys!

WARNING: Self-harming. This is not something I have personal experience with, so I'm just going with it.

* * *

JJ closed the bathroom door behind her and sighed as she collapsed against it momentarily. She breathed in deeply, attempting to force the jumbled anxious-ridden thoughts out of her head.

She didn't have to eat the pancakes—Hotch would have understood.

Would he?

Emily always tried to understand—help her despite the fact she had no idea why JJ couldn't-or wouldn't-eat certain foods.

JJ wasn't sure of that herself.

Because food felt bad, even though she knew it didn't always feel like that. But now, food felt dirty, tainted, and disgusting.

She felt the same way about food as she did about herself.

Lifting her thick sweatshirt and the two shirts underneath, she grimaced at the scabbed lines of varying depth—evidence of her complete lack of control glaring back at her from her abdomen.

Was there ever a time she had been in control?

She wasn't sure anymore.

She felt a pang of guilt, knowing that Hotch and Emily both trusted her as she dug her fingers sharply against her stomach until a small trickle of blood cascaded from the new wound. Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding, she felt a wave of relief wash over her.

Wiping her brow, she glanced at the bathtub, shuddering at the thought of showering. Even the thought of being wet, naked, vulnerable, made the entire world feel like it was crushing down on her.

She hated being vulnerable.

But that's all she was anymore.

Nausea bubbled up at her as the thought of their trust, their absolute faith that she would listen to them sent her stomach rolling.

They should know better—she didn't deserve to be trusted.

She bit her lip apprehensively—Hotch had been so kind, and she had felt so…_safe_…it almost felt like all of the terrors that weighed on her were kept away by his stoic jaw line.

But JJ knew better.

She would never be safe.

Her stomach churned at the memory of Hotch's kindness. What did he expect from her now?

If he was anything like Manuel…She shuddered as she let her thoughts trail off.

Hotch was nothing like Manuel. He wouldn't send her away.

Would he?

She shouldn't think like this, she knew better.

But she just couldn't help it.

The food turned in her stomach, the undigested pittance inside her rebelling familiarly as she tried in vain to keep it down.

At first she thought she was doing this on purpose to try and exercise control over her life.

Now she realized that she was just as submissive as the food that entered her mouth.

She couldn't help it.

She was weak.

She could feel each individual morsel of warm food as it passed through her system growing heavier and heavier as it sat in her stomach, waiting desperately for her to allow its release. And, just like every other time, no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't keep the food down.

Closing the gap between her and the porcelain toilet, she collapsed to the floor. With surprising silence, she involuntarily expelled the offending food, quickly emptying her stomach from the food that had invaded her.

Instantly flushing the toilet, she washed her hands three times before flushing her mouth with cool water and grimacing at the disgusting figure that looked back at her in the mirror.

She paused at the door, hanging her head dejectedly at her weakness in submitting to the compulsion to expel anything she could from her body.

Even if she couldn't help it, she should have been stronger.

Hotch and Emily trusted her.

No, she didn't deserve to be trusted.


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Note: **Special thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: crazyobsession101; Love-B .xo; Black Angel of the Underworld; Zolidify; and SparkleInTheSun. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that.

Also, special thanks to brynnifer, SignedSealedWritten and littlegreenbottle for beta'ing this all. Thanks guys!

This chapter is mostly filler before the next chapter. I would also like to remind you that there is a lot that happens in between some of these scenes, so for example, if you think Emily is dismissing what she discovers in this chapter, she's not. I am just trying to move the story along while acknowledging the slower pace I'm taking it at. I hope that makes sense. BUT, Emily (and Hotch) are in no ways downplaying the Self-Harm mentioned in the last chapter that they discover now. I should be updating again this weekend, but the important thing about this chapter is: They are looking for the bad guys, AND they are not oblivious to what JJ's doing-even though they may not pick up on it right as its happening-they're trying. Anyway, I'll let you get to the chapter :)

* * *

"Damn it!" Hotch cursed, as he slammed the door to his office shut.

He should have something—anything by now.

Instead he was looking at another empty file, another foiled lead that didn't get him any closer to finding the bastards that did this to JJ.

There were over 3,000 'Oak Lanes' in America.

And he had no way of narrowing this down any closer.

His supposed lead had turned into nothing more than inform him that they were indeed looking for a needle in a haystack.

He had promised her he would find these bastards. He had promised her that he would find _her_.

And not only had he failed her on all counts, he _kept failing._

And there was nothing he could do about it!

His phone rang and he picked it up immediately without looking. "Hotchner." He barked.

_"Hotch, it's Emily, she's coming out of surgery now." _

He was so distraught that he missed the grin underlying Emily's words, feeling panicked that Emily was calling so soon. JJ wasn't scheduled to be out of surgery for another hour. "Is she okay?" Hotch asked full of worry, well aware that the doctors had warned that any surgery could be dangerous because of her weight. "Did something happen?"

_"She's fine." Emily assured. "The doctors said she was likely in a lot of pain with her wrist, but that should be fixed now."_

"Why didn't she tell us she was in pain?" The words slipped out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop them.

_Emily hesitated for a minute, "I don't think she knew how."_

"Anything else?" Hotch asked quickly.

_This time, Emily's hesitation was palpable. "Hotch, when JJ was changing…they found…I think she's hurting herself."_

"WHAT?" Hotch asked incredulously. "How could you not have noticed that!"

_Emily cringed, forcing herself not to bite back with a sharp retort when Hotch had voiced the same thoughts she herself had, "I don't know." She replied honestly, knowing that she wasn't about to accept fault for something out of her control, but cursing herself that she hadn't noticed sooner._

Hotch instantly felt guilty and retreated immediately. It wasn't fair of him to lay this all at Emily's feet. All of them were to blame if JJ was doing something that none of them noticed. "It's not your fault Emily."

_"I should have seen it." Emily countered._

"You can only do so much." Hotch reminded her.

_"When she wakes up, I'm going to talk to her. We'll get this sorted out." Emily promised. "But when I called her therapist she said this was a step forward."_

"In what world is that a step forward?" Hotch asked incredulously.

_Emily chuckled, shaking her head that Hotch seemed to be saying the exact same words she had shared with Dr. Mayfield. "Apparently it's good that she's trying to find an outlet for anxiety. It's not a good outlet, but it's a start."_

"That's great Prentiss." Hotch grimaced, torn between being incredibly happy for JJ's improvement, and disgusted that this could be counted as an improvement at all.

Because this never should have happened to her.

He grimaced as he thought back to the horrible day when he had received a terrifying glimpse into JJ's captivity.

He had to find the monsters that did this to his friend.

He wouldn't rest until he did.


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Note: **Special thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; hxchick; and Zolidify. Reviews genuinely make my day, so thanks for that. I can _promise_ you that they will find Manuel. In fact, that scene is already written and both brynnifer and littlegreenbottle gave that one a thumbs up, so it's coming! I promise :)

Happy Thanksgiving! Originally this chapter was going to be a Christmas Party, but timing worked out so it was next...and who wouldn't change it to Thanksgiving?

* * *

Rossi opened the door warmly, ushering in his guests. "Happy Thanksgiving." He smiled at both of the women in front of him, "I'm so glad you could come today."

"Well JJ was having a good day yesterday." Emily smiled as she juggled several boxes in her hands, "And I convinced her that it wouldn't put her either of them in danger if W-I-L-L and," She paused, looking at the blonde intently for signs that she might have an episode, "you know who showed up." She cringed, gauging JJ's reaction. At first, the very idea that she would be in the same room as Will and Henry terrified the blonde to the core. But after weeks of having time to get used to the idea, JJ had told her yesterday that it would be okay for Henry and Will to come. While JJ still got nervous if Emily mentioned his name, it was at least an improvement.

Now Emily just hoped today went as smoothly as everyone had planned.

Because if there was anything that Emily had learned throughout this ordeal, it was that things tended not to go according to plan.

JJ followed Emily, biting her fingernail nervously and cradling her left arm as they stepped inside.

"Are you sure you're okay putting dinner together?" Dave asked Emily seriously. "I mean, you—" He gestured to JJ who was quickly scanning the room, "You already have a lot to deal with."

Emily waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine. I don't get to cook much anymore. You put the turkey in?"

Dave nodded, leading the women into the kitchen. "I put it in a couple of hours ago."

Emily sighed as she looked over the space in front of her, excited and a little wary of the task in front of her. While she loved cooking, she was also aware that JJ would feel more comfortable if she was able to see everything that went into the meal, though Emily had brought several of JJ's meal replacement shakes just in case.

JJ followed Emily into the kitchen promptly sitting down on a large stool while Emily began gathering ingredients.

Emily turned to her blonde companion, "JJ, you can either help me cook," She offered, mentally cataloguing the different areas that JJ could assist her without coming in contact with a knife or anything hot, "or you can sit here and draw. Which would you rather do?"

JJ bit her lip, but Emily smiled as she saw the cogs turning in the woman's mind as she tried to decide.

"Draw." JJ decided softly after a moment.

Emily smiled warmly as she pulled out a pad of paper, pencils, and JJ's worn eraser from her bag. She had to admit that she was relieved the younger woman hadn't offered to help, instead opting to work on the furious drawings that she usually ended up erasing completely, tearing up into small shreds, or finding some other way to destroy whatever images she had depicted.

Her therapist had said it might be some protective instinct or some sideways measure of exerting control.

Though each time Emily caught a glimpse of the fine masterpiece that JJ had created, she felt a pang of sorrow as the artistic representation was destroyed.

Because JJ was _really_ talented—so much so, she wondered why the blonde hadn't long ago given up a career in government service to be able to pursue a career in art. Because JJ had a gift.

But according to her therapist, it was a _good_ thing that JJ felt safe enough to destroy her own drawings.

JJ quickly accepted the supplies Emily offered her and looked at the blank page full of opportunities to express the things she didn't seem to have the words for.

"Where should I put this present for Henry?" Emily asked Dave who watched the two women with curiosity. Since Henry's birthday fell around the holiday, and JJ had steadily refused to allow herself to come close to her son until now, it seemed like an adequate time to celebrate the six-year-old's birthday.

"Oh, let me take it." Rossi offered kindly, hoping that his Thanksgiving dinner would go over without incident.

At the mention of her son, JJ closed her eyes, mentally picturing the image burned into her mind of her son's sweet angelic face.

Putting pencil to paper she began to draw. The entire world fell away as her pencil began sketching vague shapes as she blocked out an image that seemed burned in her mind.

Emily watched with a pang of a feeling she didn't know how to describe as she watched the blonde crouch over the paper protectively. Busying herself with preparations for Thnksgiving dinner, she sighed inwardly.

Maybe things weren't as bad as she thought.

Hours later, the food was finished and JJ slowly folded up the drawing, placing it in her pocket before Emily could glance at the depiction.

In Dave's giant dining room, the rest of the team sat, waiting uncomfortably as JJ and Emily stepped into the room with bowls and steaming food.

Dave gestured to the two seats near the exit that provided a clear view of the entire room. "I thought you and JJ could sit here." He explained softly. He had planned this for weeks, and honestly hoped that he had taken every one of JJ's needs into consideration.

Because he wanted it to be perfect.

He wasn't sure he could really admit to anyone other than himself that this party had sprung out of a late night realization that JJ likely hadn't experienced Thanksgiving or Christmas in three years.

Or any celebration, really.

In fact, it was the dream that had him waking in a cold sweat that was spurred by rereading Antonio Perez's confession that led him to call each member of the team and invite them to his cabin for Thanksgiving dinner and birthday celebration.

Because JJ deserved happy memories.

"Who would have thought David Rossi could turn into Father-Turkey?" Penelope whispered conspiratorially as JJ sat down beside her. Emily, spying the butter knife amid the various table settings quickly leaned over and without a word moved the knife out of the way.

Dinner conversation began, and it was initially light and easy, colored only slightly by mentions of the latest case and work implications.

Reid watched JJ closely, as if waiting for her to suffer a mental break at any moment.

"Emily, would JJ like peas?" Rossi asked, offering the large dish toward the brunette.

"Dave," Hotch scolded softly, unaware that his stern voice carried over to the two women while he loaded Jack's plate with thin slice of turkey, "you can talk to her. She's right there."

Emily accepted the peas and placed a large spoonful on JJ's plate, pretending she hadn't overheard Hotch's rebuke. Truthfully, she was grateful that Hotch had stepped in—because even an offhanded comment could set JJ's recovery back.

JJ stewed for a minute, grimacing as Emily heaped another spoonful of peas onto her plate.

She hated peas.

She'd always hated peas.

She stopped for a second, surprised at the memory of something before her capture. She knew her friends, she remembered her life before…

But she hadn't really thought of what she liked or didn't like.

She knew one thing for sure—she hated peas.

"I'm not good at all of this victim-talk." Rossi cringed, and smiled back at JJ and Emily.

Suddenly, JJ couldn't stand it anymore.

"I'm not a victim." JJ mumbled, so softly that only Garcia and Emily who were flanking JJ's sides could hear, but forcing the words out of her mouth.

At JJ's words, Penelope's fork clanged painfully as it fell out of her hands. Because all of them were sitting around.

And JJ hardly ever said anything.

At least not to her anymore.

Or anyone really.

Other than Emily.

"Did she just say something?" Morgan whispered across the table, equally surprised.

"What did she say?" Hotch asked from the other end of the table, worried at being seated so far away from the blonde.

JJ bit her lip and ducked her head, obviously uncomfortable with the attention from her colleagues.

"Prentiss, what'd she say?" Rossi asked.

Emily glared at both men before nudging JJ gently, "Say it again JJ." She encouraged. While part of her wanted to ream the other profilers for their insensitivity, she easily recognized the golden opportunity for JJ to at least attempt to assert herself.

JJ bit her lip hesitatingly before speaking up, only marginally louder than before. "Said, I'm not a victim."

Dave's face fell as he realized the blonde had indeed heard his comment. Truthfully, he was painfully aware that talking at JJ—talking _to_ JJ—was not his forte. Not anymore.

He opened his mouth, hoping that by the grace of God some wise words would flow uncharacteristically out of his mouth. Instead, however, his mouth grew dry with the simple realization there was nothing he could say.

"You're right JJ." Rossi turned and addressed the woman directly, "You aren't a victim. I'm sorry."

JJ settled back into her seat and Emily beamed triumphantly.

Maybe Thanksgiving miracles weren't that hard to come by.

* * *

The room fell silent as Henry and Will slowly entered the large great room where the rest of the team was seated, every eye focused on the blonde on the opposite side of the room.

JJ froze at the sight of her former boyfriend and her son, but made no movements either way.

"Will." Hotch smiled, approaching the other man who had become a close friend. "It's good to see you."

"Good to see you too." Will muttered, his eyes locked on the blonde who seemed to stare straight through him.

Will stepped forward and JJ gasped, sending each person in the room on high alert. "Maybe it's best—" Hotch tried to stop him, but Will instinctively took a step back and held up his hands.

"JJ." He breathed, the relief flowing out of every pore of his body. He gulped down the emotion at seeing her again, and forced himself to speak. "I'm—" He stuttered painfully, "It's so good to see you."

JJ bit her fingernail nervously as she pulled her knees up to her chest tightly.

"Henry." Will choked, keeping himself from running toward the woman he longed for by sheer will, "He wanted to see you."

Emily stood to intercept Henry before he got to close to JJ, but Will sidestepped her. "Can he give you a hug?"

JJ shrunk back hesitatingly, but everyone in the room noticed the way she held back the sob that arose within her. Shaking her head reluctantly, she shrunk back in an attempt to draw a greater distance between herself and the people she loved more than life itself.

"I'll give it to her." Emily assured. Pasting a fake smile on her face, she smiled brightly down at the five-year-old boy. "Your mom got you a present too."

"Really?" Henry asked, his eyes wide and excited.

Emily nodded as she picked up the wrapped train set she had helped JJ pick out at the toy store, but was stopped by the soft voice that was almost drowned out by the soft whisperings of the others in the room. "No." Emily felt JJ's voice more than she heard it and stopped.

"I—" The blonde struggled, obviously juggling some emotion the others had no ability to comprehend. "I made—" She thrust the paper in her hands towards Henry, almost inviting him to approach her.

Almost.

Each eye watched with apprehension as Henry, obviously coached by his father, slowly approached the broken woman. Taking the picture out of her hands, his face broke into a wide grin. "That's me." He pointed at the picture with excitement.

JJ nodded, not bothering to wipe away the tears that were flowing freely down her face. "I—" Her heart yearned to express the love she had for this wonderful little boy.

But the words wouldn't form on her tongue.

And no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't force them out. "I—" She tried again, growing frustrated at the chasm that still seemed to divide her from the rest of the world.

"She wants you to know she loves you." Emily supplied.

JJ frowned, imperceptibly to the others, but outwardly demonstrating the flash of annoyance that brewed within her. Why couldn't she say it?

She should be able to say it to Henry.

Any real mother would be able to.

Why couldn't she say it?

Henry smiled as he traced the picture in front of him in awe. Turning back to JJ, he jumped up on the couch next to her and embraced her in a tight hug.

"Henry!" Someone (possibly several someones) scolded as the entire group of profilers seemed to step forward in worried anticipation at JJ's possible reaction.

JJ paid them no mind as she closed her eyes and slowly returned the little boy's embrace. Tears cascaded down her cheeks at the touch of the little boy she loved more than anything else in this entire world. Whispering softly into his ears, she paid no mind to the profilers who tried to lean forward in an attempt to possibly censor the tender moment between mother and son.

After a moment, Henry pulled away and nodded at JJ before kissing his mother lightly on the cheek. "Okay. I promise."

Retreating back to his father's side, he smiled widely. "Do I do good?" He asked his father shyly.

"You did great." Will's voice cracked.

Emily swallowed down the lump in her throat at witnessing the genuine moment between JJ and Henry. Since JJ's rescue she had seen herself as JJ's protector. Now she wondered if she had become the little child who tried to help a chick hatch, only to cripple the developing chicken.

Sometimes adversity made you stronger.

And other times it just kicked your ass.

"What did your mom tell you?" Hotch whispered to the little boy curiously, frowning at the way JJ looked away guiltily as if she had violated some unwritten rule.

Henry shook his head, glancing down at the picture in his hands. "It's a secret, Uncle Hotch." He implored as if it was the most obvious explanation in the world. "Is that other present for me too?" He asked excitedly.

Aware that every eye in the room was watching her intently, Emily smiled and tried to speak. However, no words came out.

Surprisingly, it was Spencer who stepped forward and patted Henry on the back, "Of course you can have the other present too." He soothed, "But we've got cake and ice cream too. You like ice cream, right Henry?" He asked feigning confusion.

Henry grinned broadly. "I _love_ ice cream Uncle Spencer."

"Then it's a party, isn't it." Reid mused, glancing over at JJ and feeling the unsettled turmoil finally starting to dissipate.

JJ wasn't his mother. And though it pained him to see her so hurt, maybe he could deal with this better than he thought he could.

By no means was he ready to be at JJ's side 24-7, he could barely be at his own mother's side for that long.

But it was a start.


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Note: **If you haven't noticed, everytime JJ seems to take a step forward, something happens that causes her to take a couple of steps back. Many of you said you loved the last chapter (which touched me deeply) but there has to be a couple of bumps in the road. I'll also have you know that I intended to make Emily fly off the handle a little bit more, but I just couldn't make her do it. And, while Emily has been _amazing_ up until this point, everybody has their breaking point.

Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: zzz-zzz84; 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; stefi; crazyobsession101; SparkleInTheSun; EmmaBerlin; Zolidify; Auayra-of-White; la paix grace; and Love-B .xo

Special thanks to littlegreenbottle and brynnifer!

* * *

Emily woke up later than usual several mornings later, groaning as the sunlight poked through the blinds of her bedroom and beamed in her eyes. Casting her eyes around her room, she sat up with a jolt as she saw the gun safe door in the corner of her room slightly ajar.

She always locked the safe—always.

Feeling a pit of dread in her stomach, she ran over to the safe, yanking the door open. She sighed with relief at the sight of her Glock. If anyone had tried to break in to her safe, they hadn't gotten very far. Her joy, however, was limited by the fact that her six boxes of ammunition were missing.

Quickly opening her closet to check for any intruders, Emily picked up her empty gun and darted down the hall to JJ's room, bursting through the door without a moment's hesitation.

Her worry only grew at the sight of the unmade bed and JJ's conspicuous absence from her familiar spot against the wall. Her heart dropped at not only the thought of an intruder, but even more at the worry that tugged that JJ had wandered off.

She knew she should have done something to make sure JJ couldn't wander off.

"JJ?" She called, fighting to remain calm. She would have known if an intruder had made it into her condo—she would have woken up.

There was no way that JJ could have been taken right out from under her nose.

Checking the bathroom first, she moved cautiously but quickly through the upstairs rooms of her condo. Satisfied that no one was upstairs, she slowly made her way down the steps leading to her living room.

At first, nothing looked disturbed, heightening her worry even more. Checking over each corner, she felt a flood of relief at the sight of JJ huddled behind the couch, stirring if she was just nearing consciousness.

Running over to the couch, she sighed with relief as she realized JJ was asleep. Though it was the first time she had found her there, JJ had no visible injuries to cause concern.

She was just asleep!

She was almost relieved enough to just let JJ continue to get her much needed rest, but something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. The bulge of the couch cushion awkwardly sat, bubbling as if something large was placed underneath.

Pulling the cushion off quickly, her eyes widened at the mass collection of odd items—quarters and coins were pooled on top of a dirty blanket that Emily realized had come from the jet. Piles of papers were shoved into the crack of the couch, and a single round of ammunition was shoved between the back of the couch and the armrest.

A single round of ammunition.

JJ had opened her safe, _her gun safe_, and taken the boxed rounds.

Her lips pursed with concern at the sight of the round—silently forcing herself not to scream with anger.

Picking up the blanket with the hope that the rest of the rounds would be located inside, she winced as the smell of rotting stale food assaulted her nose.

How had she not noticed this before?

As she picked up the blanket by the corner, intent on dropping whatever filth it contained and placing the blanket in the washer, her heart dropped as two of her own belts, several crinkled up papers, coins, and fifteen to twenty various sized pills dropped quickly to the floor. Throwing the now forgotten blanket to the side, Emily picked up the pills and examined them easily in her hand.

Four of them appeared to be an aspirin.

At least eight she recognized as antibiotics JJ was taking.

But it was the group of pills that strangely resembled JJ's anti-anxiety medicine that caused anger and worry to well within her.

Because if JJ missed doses, no wonder some of her nightmares were so bad.

And if it was a few pills that were keeping her from more than four hours of sleep a night, she just might cry.

Seething, she picked up her phone and dialed the appropriate speed-dial without even looking. "Penelope, I need you here _now._" Emily barked, waiting only for Garcia's grumbled response before ending the call.

The sound stirred JJ who was on the vestiges of already waking. The blonde momentarily panicked before sighing with relief at the familiar surroundings. Catching her uncovered stash out of the corner of her eye, she backed into the wall and attempted to shrink away guiltily.

"JJ, what the hell?" Emily asked incredulously as she yanked the refrigerator door open to grab a meal replacement shake for JJ.

JJ curled her knees tightly against her chest and bit her fingernail nervously, ignoring Emily's rhetorical question.

Angrily approaching JJ's side with the can of instant breakfast, she flung the cup into JJ's hand, forcing herself not to yell. "Eat." She commanded, not bothering to see the way the other woman quickly began drinking the supplement without complaint in an attempt to stay Emily's anger.

Turning back to her condo, she winced at the expanse that seemed impossible to search.

But there were more rounds that were missing.

And if she found any more pills there would be hell to pay.

"Stay there." She commanded JJ angrily, taking a deep breath as she thought hard. She wasn't sure if she wanted to scream or cry, but right now only one thing mattered: she had to find the rest of her ammunition.

And the pills.

_Damn!_

How the _hell_ had she missed this?

Throwing books off the shelf near the TV, she gasped as she found a small mound of pills next to small towers of pennies, nickels, dimes, and a few quarters. Scooping the coins and pills into her hand, she glared at JJ as she carried the items to her kitchen counter where she separated the pills from the coins. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" She groaned as she saw even more of JJ's anti-anxiety medicine combined with her antidepressants and the various pills from the antibiotics.

Turning to JJ who was eating her breakfast slowly, she bellowed angrily, "How long JJ? How long have you been hiding this from me?"

JJ winced, but eyed Emily cautiously as Emily flung the coins onto the counter carelessly. "Clindamycin …" Emily bit down her anger as she sorted the pills, "Klonipin…" The anger brewed intensely below the surface. "Remeron…What the hell JJ?"

JJ slowly inched away from the couch, as she eyed Emily closely, her eyes drawn to the now mess of coins strewn along the counter and on the floor.

"I said stay there!" Emily spat when she noticed JJ inching away from her spot.

JJ stopped immediately and hung her head, slightly abashed. But she chewed on her thumbnail nervously as Emily rummaged through the piles on the counter.

"Emily?" Garcia called through the door as she knocked quickly, "Are you there? It's me."

Glaring over at the blonde as if daring her to defy her, Emily ran to the front door and thrust it open. "Get in here."

"Wow! Who peed in your Cheerios?" Penelope asked, ignoring Emily's glare.

Emily spun around to find JJ standing at the counter in front of the pills, rounds, and coins "What are you doing?" She screeched.

"Em, calm down." Garcia tried to placate, seeing that JJ wasn't hovered over the pills like Emily had assumed but instead her fingers shaking as she tried to stack the coins into individual piles.

"I will not calm down!" Emily bellowed.

At Emily's tone, JJ's trembling increased causing her to knock over the coins repeatedly. While JJ scrambled to continue to stack the coins, Emily caught sight of a small bulge in the pockets of her sweat pants.

"No…" If Emily thought she couldn't get any angrier before, she was sorely mistaken as pure rage washed over her.

"JJ…tell me you don't have them in your pocket." Her voice fell softly as frustrated anger permeated her tone.

JJ spun around, her eyes wide and terrified that she had been discovered.

Having no escape, she ran—sprinted actually—with a speed that Emily hadn't seen in a long time as she threw down barstools and tables in an attempt to slow Emily down. Though Emily normally could easily outrun the frail blonde, JJ had the advantage of several feet coupled with the obstacles she had left in Emily's path.

Emily took the stairs three at a time, vaguely aware of Penelope at her heels.

Her bedroom door slammed shut in her face, the clicking lock and scuffling behind the door stopping her dead in her tracks. Though Emily before had felt her anger slipping out of her careful control, the sound of the locking door sent her fury off like an erupting volcano that had laid dormant for far too long.

"JJ, I'll give you to the count of three to OPEN THIS DOOR." She exploded, "Don't think I won't kick the door in."

"Emily-" Garcia begged.

"One. " She hesitated, trying to force herself to give JJ a chance to respond.

"You've got to calm down." Penelope tried to reason with her. Emily jiggled the handle once more, her anger bubbling as it boiled over.

"Two." She could feel her anger brewing at the situation. JJ had lied to her. After everything she had done for the younger woman, JJ had _lied_.

"She doesn't understand-"

"Three." Emily concluded. Not only had JJ lied, but she was _hiding her pills._

"Em—" Garcia tried to interrupt, "You're going to scare her."

Jiggling the handle once more, she warned tightly, "JJ, this is your last chance." She warned, knowing that the tone of her voice conveyed alone the truth of her threat.

JJ had _lied_ to her.

"Em, you _are _scaring her." Garcia insisted, biting her lip nervously. She had never seen Emily so angry and though she knew it was serious, part of her couldn't help but feel horrible at the idea of JJ hiding from Emily's rage.

"I'm coming in JJ, step away from the door." She commanded loudly.

Ignoring the Garcia's pleading look, Emily kicked the door forcefully, grimacing as her bedroom doorframe cracked under the force. Flinging the door open, she didn't hesitate despite JJ's cowering frame in the corner as the blonde fumbled with shoving something—presumably the rounds—into the gunsafe.

With gentleness that surprised her despite her fury, Emily tenderly pushed JJ's hands away from the safe and retrieved the rounds that JJ had attempted to replace.

Silently, Emily turned around, ignoring a sobbing JJ as she stepped out of the bedroom.

"Keep her here." Emily barked at Garcia, "Don't let her out of your sight."


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: tayababy, 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; SignedSealedWritten; hxchick; stefi; SparkleInTheSun; crazyobsession101; Love-B. xo Zolidify; and EmmaBerlin. Reviews make my day, so I really do appreciate it.

Special thanks to littlegreenbottle and brynnifer!

FYI, thes upcoming chapters are some of my favorites. But, the next chapter IS the reason this story is rated 'M'. So, just be warned. **The next chapter will be very heavy, read at your discretion**. I don't really know how much more clear I need to be, but...just be warned.

* * *

Emily threw an entire shelf-full of books onto the floor, desperate to find any other secret hiding place. "I can't believe she'd _lie_ to me like this." Emily muttered under her breath. "I trusted her."

She glanced at the framed drawing displayed prominently on the wall beneath her staircase. Her rage momentarily receded as she thought back to JJ's gift.

_Emily poured through the case file in front of her, willing the profile of the man responsible for raping several men in St. Louis to come to the forefront of her mind._

_But there was just so much to do._

_She wondered if this is what it felt like to be a mother, something she knew she would never truly experience. But JJ—JJ depended on her in a way that no one ever had before._

_And to be honest, a part of her liked it._

_The other part—the other part still felt so damn guilty._

_Because it never should have been JJ in this position in the first place._

_It should have been Emily._

_Feeling a gaze on her, she looked up in surprise to see JJ standing in her doorway. She wondered briefly how long JJ had been standing there, but dismissed the thought as quickly as it had come._

_She wasn't entirely sure why JJ did most of the things she did._

_"Do you need something?" Emily asked, smiling as she quickly closed the case file in front of her and placed it on her bedside table._

_JJ bit her lip apprehensively as if debating within herself about some grave matter that only she could resolve._

_Emily watched in fascination, marveling at how JJ could still maintain traits she remembered from when Emily first started at the BAU, but still be so different._

_She winced involuntarily at the thought._

_Because it was her fault that JJ was abducted in the first place._

_And the fact that she **enjoyed** JJ's dependency on her almost made her sick._

_"JJ?" Emily prodded again, knowing full well that JJ's medications should start kicking in soon and the blonde would quickly need to fall asleep._

_Wordlessly, JJ stepped toward Emily's king sized bed, gingerly pulling a folded piece of paper out of the pocket of her worn sweatpants. Huffing slightly with a determination Emily hadn't seen in a long time, JJ thrust the precious paper into Emily's hands. _

_Emily smiled gratefully as she accepted the paper, "Why thank you JJ." She praised, torn between a surge of pride at JJ's progression and a pang of guilt. She tenderly unfolded the worn paper and gasped at the sight in front of her._

_A detailed sketch of what was unmistakably sunlight beaming forth behind clouds of dark grey oppression was captured on the page._

_Awestruck, Emily traced the drawing with her fingertip. "JJ, this is amazing." She was at a loss for words._

_Especially since the only drawing she knew JJ had ever kept was now prominently displayed at Henry's bedside._

_She held the paper out to JJ and looked at her in admiration, "This was amazing, thank you for letting me see it."_

_JJ shook her head, and though Emily noticed the way her fingers seemed to lurch forward to snatch back the drawing, the blonde pulled back. "No." She gulped nervously, "I—you can—thank you."_

_Emily's mouth dropped in shock at the genuine display of gratitude and love. Realizing that JJ was anxiously awaiting to see if she accepted, Emily carefully placed the drawing beside the case file and stood, rapidly enveloping the younger woman in a hug. "It's beautiful. Tomorrow we'll get a frame for it and we can put it in the apartment."_

A resounding knock startled her from her raid against her own condo. She glanced around, momentarily grimacing at the destroyed mess her home had become. "Who the hell could that be?" She grumbled.

Yanking the door open, she barked before she could see the person on the other side. "What do you want? It's not a good time." Her anger froze as she mentally kicked herself for yelling at the woman who was here for a scheduled appointment.

"Is everything okay?" Laurie Munroe, JJ's social worker, asked suspiciously. "Where's JJ?"

"Upstairs." Emily's lip twitched angrily earning a surprised look from the social worker.

"Okay."

"Look, can we just reschedule? Now's just not the best time." Emily admitted honestly.

"Emily, this is the third appointment we've had to reschedule this month." Laurie reminded her. "Can I talk to JJ?" She asked with a little more persistence on seeing the disaster inside.

Emily grimaced, but allowed the woman into her condo.

Laurie silently surveyed the destruction of Emily's apartment, glancing at the older woman after carefully cataloguing the disaster. "JJ's upstairs?"

"With Penelope." Emily ground out, mentally cursing Murphy's Law that seemed to enjoy destroying her life with it's simple premise—_anything that can go wrong, will._

"I'm going to go talk to her." Laurie informed unnecessarily. Truthfully, Emily normally loved it when JJ's social worker came to check up on her, but today—right now—she needed a break.

And the universe seemed hell-bent on making sure she did not get a break.

Sighing, Emily returned to the matter at hand, incensed as she found an enormous pile of coins piled in a cabinet near the door.

"How the hell did I miss this?" Emily muttered several minutes later, piling the coins onto the counter with the others.

"Because she was careful." Laurie's voice startled her as the other woman descended the stairs. "It's not uncommon for—"

"Look. I promise—I know I made a mistake—but it's not normally like this. I didn't know—She wasn't taking her pills! Please don't report me. Hotch!" Emily groaned as she pictured the man's disapproving glare, "what's he going to say when he finds out—"

"Emily." Laurie interrupted, "you need got to calm down."

"I can't believe I let this happen. How could I let this happen?" Emily mused.

"You're human." Laurie smiled with understanding. "It's not ideal, but JJ's not a child. She is making adult decisions. Definitely you'll need to keep a watch on her and make sure she doesn't do anything to hurt herself, but it is something we can deal with."

Emily sighed, a great weight being lifted off her shoulder, "You're not going to take her away?"

Laurie sighed, "Emily, I'm not the bad guy here. JJ is my first priority. She's upstairs, scared and nervous at the thought that you're mad at her."

"I'm furious with her." Emily admitted.

"But you didn't hurt her. You are upset because she's hurting herself." Laurie explained, having gleaned enough from JJ's terrified sobs to confirm her theory. "If I thought you were hurting her, or putting her in danger, I'd do whatever it took to keep her safe. But you're just going to have to take new precautions."

"I can't believe I missed it." Emily shook her head. "I mean, look at this!" She commanded, gesturing at the items on the counter, "What the hell is going on? What was she thinking?"

Laurie bit her lip nervously, her heart dropping at the sight in front of her. "I'm not her therapist Emily. But—"

"I mean, belts? Coins? Her pills? How much more random could this get?" Emily rolled her eyes.

"It's not random." Laurie shook her head, sadly recalling other patients with similar habits.

"What do you mean?"

"Did you notice anything about where each item was located?" Laurie asked.

Emily nodded, "The coins, they were mostly by the door, but really they were everywhere. Her pills—I can't believe she wasn't taking her—"

"Emily, you've got to stop." Laurie interrupted, "It is what it is, and now you have to move on. Of course you'll need to make sure from now on that she's taking them, but…" Laurie trailed off, unwilling to betray any even implicit statements JJ had made in confidence.

"You think I'm _overreacting_?" Emily asked incredulously. "She stole all my belts! She's been hiding her pills!" Emily continued despite the social worker's mouth dropping open in an attempt to interrupt. "No, I know, move on, but what else has she been hiding? What else has she lied to me about?"

Laurie paused for a moment, allowing Emily's words to hang in the air. "I only have one question for you." She asked softly, "Is this about you or is this about her?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, are you upset because she's not taking her pills and she's doing something dangerous, or are you upset that she lied to you?" Laurie asked simply.

"Isn't that the same thing?" Emily grumbled, slightly offended at the insinuation.

"Absolutely not. Because really, they are two completely different issues." Laurie insisted. "Either you accept JJ the way she is and move past this, or this entire situation is about you trying to prove your loyalty as a friend."

"I don't know what you think you know, but—"

"I know plenty." Laurie cut Emily off, "JJ's best interest isn't to have you taking care of her out of some misplaced attempt to relieve your guilt. JJ needs you to care about her despite her idiosyncrasies."

"So what do I do?" Emily asked, her cheeks flaming at the insinuation that all of her efforts had been made because she felt guilty. Because the truth of the matter was, guilt seemed to spur a lot of her motives lately.

"You have to accept JJ the way she is." Laurie shrugged. "I know that's hard because allowing her to make her own choices means she might make the wrong one. But now we just have to encourage her to make the right decisions."

"How do we—How do I do that?" Emily asked.

"One step at a time." Laurie smiled genuinely, "Emily, I can help you set up reward systems with JJ, encouraging her to eat and take her medicine. There is a lot we can do, but I want to ask you a question."

"Anything." Emily agreed quickly.

"Have you thought of talking to someone?" Laurie frowned as she saw Emily's face fall. "This is a lot to deal with. It's common for care-takers to suffer from situational depression. I need to know that you're getting the help _you_ need to help JJ."

Emily hesitated, "It's not too much to deal with. I'm fine." She attempted to assert, hoping that the social worker would relax her request.

Laurie simply quirked an eyebrow, and Emily finally nodded slowly. "I'll think about it." She agreed slightly begrudgingly.

"Good." Laurie smiled.

"You said earlier that it wasn't that random." Emily prodded curiously, remembering the younger woman's words.

Laurie bit her lip nervously, realizing she probably shouldn't have said anything in the first place. "Yeah?"

"What did you mean?"

The social worker sighed, "Emily, I can't tell you anything she's told me in confidence—"

"I'm not asking you to," The agent held up her hands defensively, "I'm just asking you to help me understand."

After a second's hesitation, the younger woman asked, "So what have you found?"

"Belts. Coins." Emily grimaced, "Rotten Food. Her _pills._" She ground out the last one in frustration.

"Well I can say that generally, hoarding is common for victims of extremely violent situations and often, a person doesn't even know why they are doing it." Laurie explained, "JJ's therapist could probably answer your questions in greater detail, but people who have experienced those situations are attempting to control their environment. So if a person had been through an experience similar to JJ's, maybe that person would hold onto things in an attempt to control her world."

"When I first started at the BAU, that was something I noticed about JJ, she was always in control." Emily mused thoughtfully.

"So do you think JJ likes being in control?" Laurie asked, not wanting to divulge anything that JJ had told her, but wanting to lead Emily to make the connections herself.

"Absolutely." Emily replied as if it were the most obvious answer. Suddenly, a light clicked "But she probably had _no _control over the last 3 years."

"Exactly. So a lot of the small items you found could be JJ searching out control." The social worker agreed. "The belts—I mean that could be anything from JJ subconsciously removing any thing that could be used to hurt her to trying to be ready to fight back if something were to happen. I don't know that _JJ_ even knows at this point why she's keeping all of this stuff—but I can tell you that it all goes back to control."

"And the food?"

"How often do you think JJ ate during her time with Manuel?" Laurie asked a question in turn.

"Hardly ever." Emily scoffed in derision, but as the words came out of her mouth, her face dropped in terror as her mind made the connections. "So she's _storing_ it?"

Laurie shrugged, this time having quite a bit of knowledge behind JJ's motives but unable to speak about it. "I can't say. What I can say is that if JJ had been so _out of control_ for so long, don't you think she'd try to prepare—get ready for when things got bad again?"

"You mean, she thinks Manuel is coming back?" Emily asked horrified.

Laurie winced, momentarily kicking herself as she realized she probably shouldn't have said that. "Why do you think she is keeping the coins?" She asked gently as if the matter were completely unrelated. Emily didn't need her to confirm the truth behind her deduction, but Laurie didn't want to betray JJ's trust.

"I have no idea." Emily thought carefully.

"What do you know about what happened to her while she was with Manuel?" Laurie asked carefully.

Emily's stomach rolled as she remembered a vivid phone call JJ had been able to make, the only real, solid lead they had the entire time she had been missing—yet even that had been untraceable. "It—was awful." She admitted, forcing the feelings of guilt away as she focused on the conversation at hand.

JJ had lied to her.

She had a right to be angry.

"And?" Laurie prodded, remembering how JJ had admitted once that she earned a pittance of an 'allowance' with each person she slept with, only to be forced to try to reimburse her captors for their 'generosity'.

Sometimes, it made her sick what people would do to one another.

Other times, her heart broke for her client—especially one, like JJ, who was preparing to buy her freedom should the need arise.

And protect Emily in the process.

But this wasn't something Laurie could say. Hinting at the true cause was toeing the line further than the young woman was ready to admit. "Emily, why do you think she was hiding the money?"

"It doesn't matter!" Emily exploded, masking the guilt that sometimes kept her up at night with a rage that could make itself heard. "She _lied._" The anger brew once more at the thought of _everything _Emily had done for JJ, only to have the younger woman _hide_ the very things that would help her.

"It does matter." Laurie corrected, "It is okay to be angry."

_"No it's not!"_ Emily snapped, quickly losing the careful control she had somehow managed to maintain. "JJ is doing all of this and I can't stop her! Doesn't she realize how much I've tried—"

"Emily," The social worker stopped her, "We might not know why JJ is doing these things—JJ might not know—but there is a reason she's acting like this. We can't fault her for acting this way—she didn't choose this."

Emily's face fell. "You're saying I shouldn't be angry."

"Not at all." Laurie shook her head. "I'm saying you should accept the anger. I'm saying it is okay to be angry—anger is an emotion just like joy and sadness. What I'm saying is that JJ didn't choose this life. Someone made choices and stripped that from her."

"So what do we do?"

"Now we help her overcome it."


	33. Chapter 33

**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: stefi; hxchick; SparkleInTheSun; and Zolidify. Reviews make my day, so I really do appreciate it.

Special thanks to littlegreenbottle and brynnifer!

**This chapter is very heavy, read at your discretion. I have been told that this chapter is HORRIBLE to read. I am trying to be unequivocally clear, the flashback contained in this chapter is the worst thing I have ever written. **That being said, I'm incredibly pleased with this chapter, but I just want to make sure I'm clear. IT IS NOT NECESSARY FOR YOU TO READ THIS CHAPTER, but I think it highlights why the team feels so guilty (more than JJ's just one of them that was abducted). I don't really know how much more clear I need to be, but...just be warned.

* * *

"Hotchner." Hotch answered the phone without looking up from the paperwork in front of him.

"Agent Hotchner, this is Laurie Munroe." The social worker's normally bright voice held a tinge of concern.

"What's wrong?" Hotch asked, immediately concerned. He knew it was the social worker's time for a monthly visit at Prentiss's condo and couldn't help but feel worry wash over him that something had happened.

"Nothing's wrong right now." The social worker sighed, "I worry about Agent Prentiss."

"Agent Prentiss cares about JJ." Hotch tried to explain, "She just wants what is best for her—"

"I know that." Laurie cut in, "But caring for an individual with special needs, like JJ, is difficult for anyone. I just thought you might want to step in and give her a break. Especially given the incident this morning-"

"What incident?" Hotch asked nervously.

"Agent Prentiss discovered JJ has been avoiding taking her medication. While it's something that's serious, it is not uncommon for patients with anxiety and other mental health issues to fight taking medication." Laurie admitted, not wanting to go into the details of the experience, but also well aware that as JJ's guardian there were some issues he needed to be aware of.

"What?" Hotch exploded. "How could she possibly have—"

"Agent Hotchner." Laurie spoke forcefully, snapping him out of his shock, "JJ will be fine, you and Agent Prentiss will simply have to make sure that she's taking her medications. I'm calling, though, to let you know that I think Agent Prentiss is feeling slightly overwhelmed."

Hotch grimaced slightly, well aware that he hadn't been as supportive as he should have. "Thank you." He said softly, ending the call. He paused only a few seconds before dialing the number that was now likely permanently programmed as his speed dial.

"What?" Emily's obviously annoyed voice quickly barked at him as she answered the phone on the first ring.

"I wondered if you wanted to bring JJ and meet me for lunch."

"Fine." Emily ground out. Hotch raised his eyebrows in surprise—it had been a long time since Emily had been this obvious at a failed attempt to control her temper. Since he was fairly certain that he hadn't done anything recently to incur Emily's wrath, he wisely kept quiet.

Quickly giving her the details of where to meat, he was only mildly surprised when she quickly ended the call while he was in the middle of speaking.

Thirty minutes later he was waiting in the small sandwich shop near the bureau when Emily threw the door open and waited impatiently for JJ who slowly walked through the open door.

"Is everything ok?" Hotch smirked at Emily's obvious annoyance. Truthfully, up until this moment, he had never seen Emily this angry at someone other than himself.

"What do you want?" Emily asked JJ tersely, ignoring Hotch's question and picking up a menu.

JJ murmured something softly, in Spanish that he could easily recognize but did not understand. Emily rolled her eyes, "I don't care if you're not hungry, JJ." She replied, leaving little room for argument. "You're eating, that's it."

Hotch rose his eyebrow in surprise. JJ hadn't spoken solely in Spanish for a long time.

_What is going on?_ He thought.

The waiter chose that moment to come and take their order, "I'll have a turkey club, and she'll have your broccoli chowder—but not hot at all. Put the chowder in the freezer for five minutes or bring out some ice with it, it just can't be hot." Emily spat quickly at the waiter, ignoring his surprise as the boy frantically wrote down the order. "We'll have water to drink, for both of us."

Hotch's surprise grew. Emily's terse attitude was definitely out of character. "I'll have a Philly-Steak Sandwich and just water to drink."

After a moment of silence, Hotch cleared his throat and informed Emily conversationally, "Laurie called this morning."

"What did she say?" Emily ground out, glancing at JJ before grabbing a package of crackers that sat in the small dish in the center of the table and ripping the crackers open forcefully. She glared at the blonde who quickly popped a single cracker in her mouth before looking to Emily for approval. Emily smiled grimly before turning back to Hotch. "Well, what did she say?" She accused, knowing that Hotch was probably about to yell at her for endangering her charge.

"She just said you might need someone to talk to." Hotch shrugged, wondering what had caused Emily's normally controlled patience to snap in two.

"Well, I don't." Emily huffed, picking up the other cracker from the package that JJ was purposefully ignoring, she held it out to the blonde who reluctantly accepted and nibbled slowly on the second Saltine.

"You don't have to get defensive with me." Hotch retorted, cursing himself yet again for letting his short temper with Emily be shown in front of JJ. "I was just trying to make conversation."

"Well don't." Emily replied.

As the waiter returned with the soup, drinks, and their sandwiches, Emily quickly pulled the soup away from JJ—the steam disappearing off the bowl evidence that her instructions had not been followed.

"Damn it!" She cursed, picking up her spoon and fishing out several ice cubes from her drink.

Though Hotch looked at Emily questioningly, she completely ignored him as she stirred the ice gently into the soup. Touching the now cool liquid gingerly, she slid the bowl towards JJ who was studying the wall next to her with fascination. Emily caught Hotch's glance and shrugged, "she won't eat it if it's hot."

"She's a big girl, Emily." Hotch reminded her. "She can take care of herself."

"If she tries to eat it and gets burned, I won't get her to eat anything for the rest of the day—possibly two days." Emily retorted angrily, "So I'm _sorry_ if it's easier to do it this way."

Hotch nodded in understanding and dropped his gaze focus on the sandwich in front of him. How could he have left the brunt of JJ's care to Emily? He cursed himself at his complete oblivion JJ's various eating habits.

"Eat your soup, JJ." Emily commanded after a moment, noticing that the blonde was doing nothing more than stirring the cool liquid with the spoon.

JJ looked over guiltily as the soup dribbled off the spoon. She quickly accepted one spoonful before shrinking away from Emily, not willing to push Emily any further.

Because Emily was angry.

And it was all JJ's fault.

But she couldn't help it.

"Prentiss." He cleared his throat to catch her attention. "Leave her with me. Take a day off."

"I can't take a day off." Emily scoffed, snorting at the very idea.

"You need a break. I've got this under control." Hotch promised, dropping his voice to where he hoped JJ wouldn't hear, he added, "I don't need to remind you that _I'm _her guardian, not _you._"

"Could have fooled me." Emily grumbled. Truthfully, the idea of even a few hours to herself seemed almost too good to be true.

"Prentiss. Go home. I'll take her for the rest of the day."

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Positive."

"JJ," She turned to the blonde, "Is it okay if you stay with Hotch for a little while?" She asked, gauging JJ for a response. No matter how angry she had been at JJ, she wasn't about to force her into a situation where she would be uncomfortable.

JJ bit her lip, glanced over at Emily and shrugged. Honestly, the thought of Emily leaving made her heart beat rapidly in her chest.

Watching JJ for any outward signs of needing her presence, Emily finally decided to take her leave.

She stood and paused, unwilling to leave if it was going to cause JJ distress. Seeing that the other woman didn't even look at her, she squared her shoulders in relief. "Call me if you need anything." She informed Hotch before spinning on her heels and walking out the door.

Looking out the window as he watched Emily retreat down the street, Hotch noticed the softly falling snow beginning to dust the streets of Quantico.

_He was staring out the window, as if by focusing on the world outside he could will a lead to present itself._

_A year._

_She had been missing an entire year._

_His desk phone began to ring and he sighed, well aware that it was likely another detective with another desperate case._

_Didn't they realize that the only case that was important now was that of their former liaison?_

_"Hotchner." He answered, his gaze still locked on the falling snow._

_"Hotch?" A trembling whisper that belonged to a voice he was certain he'd never hear again breathed into the phone._

_He froze in utter disbelief that she was actually on the line._

_"Hotch?" The small voice tried again._

_"JJ, is that you?" He snapped himself out of his stupor and forced himself to speak._

_"Hotch, help me. I need you to help find me." The voice cracked. "Please. Find me." _

_"JJ, I'm trying." He promised, feeling his heart break at how despondent she sounded. "Are you okay?"_

_"I—I don't—I hurt." She admitted in a panted whisper._

_Frantically, he waved desperately at his team that was standing around in the bullpen. The others looked up at him in surprise but entered his office almost immediately. Placing the phone on speaker, he held up his hands. "Don't worry JJ, we're going to find you. It's going to be okay!"_

_"JJ?" Emily sighed with relief. "Is it really you? I can't believe it, where are you?"_

_"I—they don't tell me—I don't know—they—" She breathed hard, "it's dark and there's trees."_

_Derek quickly caught Hotch's eye and raced down the hall to inform Garcia and have her track the call. _

_"That's good JJ." Hotch shot Emily a look that instructed her in no uncertain terms to leave talking to JJ to him. "That's really good. We're going to find you."_

_"I got away." JJ said, her voice trembling with what sounded like fear and apprehension. "They didn't see me and I ran…"_

_"How did you get to a phone? Are there people around you?" Hotch asked with concern._

_"I think I'm still in the compound." JJ admitted. "I was hiding, I found a hole in the ground and I was hiding." She explained circularly. "A man, I heard him coming, and he fell. I hit him in the head and he fell. This is his phone. I hit him, I'm sorry."_

_"JJ, it's okay." He comforted, "Are you hurt?"_

_"What?" JJ asked, perplexed. _

_"Are you hurt?" Hotch repeated._

_"I don't—" They heard JJ pause, fear evident in her voice. "I don't understand."_

_"Are you bleeding? JJ is there blood?" Hotch asked with concern._

_"Blood?" JJ asked deftly. "Hotch! There's blood. It's everywhere. I'm bleeding." They could hear the shock in her voice. "I'm bleeding."_

_"Hotch," Reid whispered, "She might have a head injury or a concussion."_

_"Or be drugged." Rossi postulated. "She's slurring her words and talking in circles."_

_"JJ, where are you bleeding?" Hotch asked, trying to figure out how badly she was injured._

_"Where am I bleeding? It's—the blood—I can't—I don't know." She babbled almost incoherently. "My head hurts. There's blood. Hotch, there's blood. It's everywhere."_

_"JJ, do you know what day it is?" Hotch asked, hoping to gauge whether she was indeed struggling with a concussion._

_"Day?" JJ asked. "It's dark. It's nighttime." She responded, confused._

_"JJ, do you know what the date is?" Hotch clarified._

_"What the date is? No." JJ's voice quivered. "I don't—I—they don't tell me. It's nighttime."_

_"That's good JJ." Emily soothed, ignoring the stern look from Hotch._

_A scream pierced through the speaker as they heard grunts and scuffling. "JJ, what's going on? Talk to me JJ."_

_In reply, all Hotch could hear was a scuffling and desperate pleas on JJ's part. "No! Please! Let me…Let me go! Please!" _

_Emily covered her eyes in horror. Reid's head hung at having come so close only to have JJ ripped away momentarily._

_"Who is this?" A gruff voice sounded into the phone as JJ's cries became more and more faint._

_"This is Aaron Hotchner with the FBI—"_

_The man hooted, "Manuel said that Puta had ties to the FBI." They heard JJ's cries suddenly blare into the phone as they heard a door shut._

_"Silence Puta."The gruff voice yelled. Hotch grimaced and he could see tears spill down Emily's eyes at the resounding slap that seemed to reverberate through his office. JJ's cries quickly quieted._

_"Puta, Manuel said he had a plane waiting for you." Another voice sneered, "He also made sure to let us know that you needed to be punished."_

_"And," A gleeful male voice spoke up, his voice softer—presumably further away from the phone "He said that while he would be prepared to punish you for violating his rules, we could punish you too."_

_"Agent Hotchner," He could hear the gruff voice smile, "Why don't we play a little game?"_

_"Let her go." Hotch ordered firmly, hoping the man couldn't hear the slight tremor in his voice._

_"I don't think I will." The gruff voice mocked, "But, you are now on speaker."_

_"JJ, we're coming for you. I promise. We'll find you—"_

_"Agent Hotchner, let me explain the rules of the game. You see, we're going to have to punish Puta for her disobedience, but you can help us."_

_"JJ, we're looking for you. We're tracing the call. We'll find you—" Hotch promised._

_"Puta, Agent Hotchner here will be able to hear, and that would make him sad to hear you scream." The man informed JJ condescendingly, "Understand?"_

_JJ presumably nodded because the man continued. "Now Agent Hotchner, if you disrupt us then it will only be worse for your friend."_

_"JJ, we'll find you." Hotch assured, closing his eyes with a pained expression as he heard JJ gasp and then whimper softly._

_Eventually, JJ's whimpered cries became so strong that Emily held her hands over her ears to block them out, tears rolling down her cheeks at what her friend was going through._

_JJ gasped in pained agony, and Rossi began to unconsciously bang his head lightly against the door, pleading for his former colleague's torment to stop._

_Reid stared at the floor, trying desperately to convince himself that this was some horrible nightmare._

_"No!" JJ cried. "Please. Sto—" A loud crack stopped her plea._

_The men laughed gutturally and Hotch could hear quiet hiccupped sobbing._

_After what felt like an eternity, the gruff voice spoke up jovially. "Aww, Agent Hotchner, it looks like our game is coming to an end."_

_"What do you mean? Let her go. Please. We'll find some way, we can offer you—"_

_"I'm not interested in what you can offer me." The man laughed. "We've got to take Puta home. But since you've been such a good sport, I'll give you some options."_

_"Let her go. She doesn't deserve this." Hotch racked his brain to come up with a profile, but the gears seemed to shift slowly._

_"We have a plane to catch, but Puta doesn't like flying. So, you have four options. We can: A) drug her, B) knock her with a stone like she did to our friend, C) She can spend the rest of the trip sitting on my lap like a good little girl, or D) We can throw her in her kennel like the dog she is."_

_Hotch fought to remain focused as his stomach churned._

_Disgust turned to horror as JJ sobbed, "Please. No, I'll be good. Not the box. I promise, I'm sorry. Please-"_

_"Tick tick tick." The man scoffed, "Agent Hotchner we don't have much time."_

_"Hotch, she could have a concussion." Emily warned through her tears. "If they hit her again..." She trailed off, not needing to explain the seriousness of the situation._

_"We don't know what's in her system already, the drugs could kill her." Reid added his voice cracking as he wiped away traces of tears in his own eyes._

_"Agent Hotchner?" The gruff voice called in a sing-song tone, "What is it going to be?"_

_"Hotch, we just listened…we listened to her…you can't make her go through that again." Rossi stumbled uncharacteristically over his words._

_"Ten seconds, and then we find a way to do all four." The man informed, "Ten. Nine. Maybe she sits on my lap half the way, then we throw her in the kennel?" He suggested to his friends who cackled in delight._

_"Go to hell." Hotch muttered._

_"Eight. Oh, Puta I'm sure you're going to enjoy this." JJ gasped loudly and the man chuckled, "Seven…"_

_"I'll make you pay for this." Hotch promised, "I will personally hunt you down and make each and every one of you pay for this."_

_"Six..." The man continued to count, ignoring Hotch's threat, "Five…oh my Agent Hotchner, you had better choose soon because I didn't get my turn with Puta earlier, and I intend to make every minute worth it."_

_"You bastard." Hotch breathed he grimaced as he heard JJ whimper softly._

_"Maybe once Jason's done with you, I can have my turn again Puta." A different voice spoke up in a disturbingly creepy tone. _

_"No way!" Another voice spoke up, "I've only gotten her twice!"_

_"You can have her, Jose, she's not that good anyway." The first voice sounded again. The men chortled and a firm slap was followed with a soft whimper from JJ._

_"Four…" The gruff sounding man counted again, "Maybe once I've got her under me, I'll make her scream for you...Three…"_

_"I won't rest until you are either dead or behind bars. Mark my words," Hotch growled, "you will pay."_

_"I heard she's been missing an entire year, Agent Hotchner, your threats aren't very promising. Two…last chance before I take my prize Agent Hotchner-"_

_"The box." Hotch grimaced painfully, but found a small amount of hope that Penelope was tracing the call. She'd probably already called every law enforcement agency on the continent. They would save her._

_They had to._

_"Box?" The gruff man chuckled maniacally, "it's a kennel. A kennel for a dog—just what Puta deserves. Say the word Agent Hotchner, say it!" Their tormentor commanded._

_Hotch felt his stomach churn and knew he would never forget this moment of sheer powerlessness. "The kennel." He choked._

_He tried to focus on happier thoughts as JJ's terrified screams filled the room._

_But right now, it didn't seem like happier moments had ever existed._

_"Now Puta," One of the other men spoke condescendingly, an accompanying slap and thud resounding through the air, "You wouldn't want your friends to be sad would you? They wanted to treat you like the bitch you are."_

_JJ's screams became increased as they heard metal clang against metal and desperate clawing against plastic. "Aw, look how cute. Now Puta's ready to fly."_

_"JJ." Hotch sighed, wiping away the tears that formed in his eyes. "We'll find you. We're coming—"_

_Suddenly the line clicked signaling the end of the call._

_And JJ was gone._

Hotch sighed as he saw JJ looking at him quizzically. "Finish your soup JJ." He encouraged softly. "Then we'll go somewhere nice and quiet."


	34. Chapter 34

**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; canny-bairn; hxchick; CrimStudent47; Zolidify; youdude; SparkleInTheSun; stefi; and Love-B .xo. Reviews make my day, so I really do appreciate it.

Special thanks to littlegreenbottle and brynnifer! Shout-out to SignedSealedWritten who FORCED me to post this chapter today.

**To anyone who skipped the last chapter: **Good. It was a very tough chapter. The only thing you need to know is that the team got a call from JJ while she had been abducted and it was AWFUL. But, the team feels guilty because they feel like they failed JJ.

* * *

"So JJ's with Hotch?" Derek asked, crossing his legs on Emily's coffee table as he relaxed leisurely on her couch.

Emily nodded, biting her lip as she paced nervously, wondering if JJ was okay. Even if she was furious, she couldn't help but fight not to think about JJ though worry seemed to consume her.

Did Hotch know that JJ didn't like crowded spaces?

She thought she had told him that.

Did Hotch know coffee counter-acted with JJ's meds?

Not that JJ had been taking the meds, she corrected herself automatically, but…

Did Hotch remember to make sure JJ had her jacket—it made her feel—

"Em?" Derek asked with concern, only then alerting her that she hadn't responded to him in several minutes. "Em, she's going to be fine."

"I—" Emily sighed as she shoved Morgan's feet off her table before flumping down into the empty couch next to him. "I dropped her off, Derek. I just dropped her off and left!"

"Em, you need a break."

"I shouldn't have taken it out on her." Emily shook her head. "I just—what if she hasn't eaten? She might not tell Hotch—"

"Emily—"

"No, I know she feels safe with Hotch, but I also know she won't say anything if she's hurt. Derek, what if she's hurt?" Emily's eyes widened as she thought over the prospect.

"Emily!" Derek censured firmly. "You've got to stop worrying. She's going to be fine."

"Derek, you _don't understand._" Emily shook her head as she picked up the glass of wine Derek had poured for her. "I—JJ needs constant attention. I have to watch her _all the time._"

"Wh—"

"If I turn my back for a second, she's in danger. Derek—"

"Emily," Derek interrupted, concerned at the exhaustion the worried rant seemed to unmask, "Did something else happen?" He asked, well remembering the incident right after JJ's rescue with a gun.

He should have gone to Hotch then.

Sometimes, he couldn't sleep with the knowledge that he had buried something important.

But he could usually keep the worry at bay with the knowledge that JJ hadn't done anything else.

Now he wasn't so sure that was true.

When Emily simply sipped her glass of wine, Derek pressed further. "Em?"

"Of _course_ something else happened!" Emily rolled her eyes. Normally, the overstressed, tired woman would have fought to keep everything a secret.

After all, that's what she'd been doing for months.

But right now, Emily Prentiss was out of control.

And the secrets spilled from her involuntarily.

"Aside from the fact she's been _hiding her medicine?_" Emily rolled her eyes and sighed in utter exhaustion. "Let's see, there was the time she walked into traffic," She ticked the incidents off on her finger like a grocery list, "the time she stepped over the railing, the time she stole all the shoelaces—"

"She did?" Derek interrupted in a horrified whisper, his stomach sinking with the realization that this all _was_ too much for Emily to handle.

And by staying silent, he was allowing two women to suffer in silence.

"That's not to _mention_ the time she found all the knives. I mean, I thought she was doing better—I even let her skip a couple of appointments, but she _lied_ to me."

"Em—" Derek interrupted, pulling the tired woman into his arms, "I'm here." He promised. "I'm here as long as you need me."

He frowned as the promise thumped in his heart. Because Derek would be there, even if Emily didn't think she needed him.

And though she might kill him when she found out, Derek knew one thing for certain.

He had to tell Hotch.

* * *

Hotch ignored the questioning look the blonde gave him as he pulled up to the country library and pulled his car to a stop. Wordlessly, he turned off the car and hopped out, waiting patiently at the front of the car for JJ to join him.

After only a second, JJ gently closed the door and followed Hotch into the library.

Guiding the younger woman toward the collection of magazines and periodicals, he gestured to the wall of information dedicated solely to the search for JJ. A small banner that had been there for less time than Hotch would like was draped above the collection, its words offering hope to those who may have utilized the space before. _Welcome Home Agent Jareau._

He watched out of the corner of his eye as JJ slowly gazed at the racks of magazines stacked neatly on the wall surrounding a picture of her giving a press conference. JJ stopped in her tracks, dazed as her own face stared back at her from the covers of various magazines.

"Dave—" Hotch explained, "He paid for all of this. He—" The words choked on themselves in Hotch's throat, "He didn't want people to forget."

JJ looked at him in confusion, as if awed that her disappearance could have been such a national spectacle.

"I used to come here a lot." Hotch admitted, sitting down into a plush chair, leaving the long comfortable couch open for JJ to sit comfortably. "I thought maybe, maybe if I read everything I could get my hands on, I could find something we missed."

JJ slowly approached the racks that lined the wall as if captivated by the sheer volume of information. Picking up several stacks, she nestled onto the couch across from Hotch, slowly opening the first one.

Hotch picked up a book and pretended to read while JJ studied the information contained in the publications.

He couldn't let her near the case file, so this was the next best thing.

Did she know how hard they looked for her?

Did she know that they never stopped?

Regardless, he hoped this would do some good—let her see the other side of the investigation.

Maybe it would let her feel like an agent again.

The pages turned slowly, and sometimes JJ would linger as her eyes caught a picture of her former self giving a press conference or comforting a family in a picture captured by a voyeuristic reporter. Other times, JJ would flip easily through pages, as if discarding information she didn't deem important.

However, Hotch's interest piqued as JJ brushed away a stray tear that had trailed down her cheeks. Glancing over at the page, he furrowed his brow—this wasn't even a page about her abduction. He quickly dismissed that thought though because he recognized the case the article was based on.

Zoey Nielsen.

He wasn't directly involved, but everybody was aware of the little girl who had been found on the side of a Georgia highway—though this article seemed only to be focused on her disappearance and must have been written in the issue before her rescue was confirmed on the national stage.

JJ was probably just concerned about a little girl who was likely abducted by unsavory captors similar to JJs.

He'd have to remember to follow up with that story and tell it to JJ, maybe that would help her.

He hoped it had a happy ending.

"You looked for me?" JJ asked meekly, though it startled him because of the stark contrast to the last hours of silence.

"I never stopped looking for you JJ." He vowed, though her attention seemed captured by the magazine in front of her.

"How long—How long was I gone?" She asked, tracing the outline of the magazine.

"Three years." Hotch admitted.

JJ nodded slowly, absorbing the information. Honestly, she barely remembered the time before her captivity—she knew it existed, and the memories were there in faint wisps—but everything before she was taken seemed so surreal. "It felt like longer." She admitted after a moment.

Hotch gulped down the well of emotion that rose within him at the thought of what horrors JJ had to endure. Suddenly, he was struck with a flash of insight. They—all of them—had been treating JJ like a child, like she didn't understand the horrors that were contained in this world.

But truthfully, she probably understood better than any of the rest of them.

"Why didn't you find me?" JJ asked her voice barely above a whisper as she slowly stood and stalked out of the library.

Hotch closed his eyes, consumed with guilt at the simple question. "I don't know." He admitted before closing the book and following after her.

He would never forgive himself.

Because though he had tried, he hadn't found her.


	35. Chapter 35

**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: crazyobsession101; ilovetvalot; zzz-zzz84; 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; midmac; Zolidify; SparkleInTheSun; canny-bairn; Love-B .xo; and hxchick. Reviews make my day, so I really do appreciate it.

Special thanks to littlegreenbottle and brynnifer! Shout-out to SignedSealedWritten who encouraged me to post a celebratory chapter since I finished finals. Woohoo!

* * *

Quickly following JJ out the library doors, Hotch easily unlocked the door and wordlessly followed JJ's lead as she slipped into the car.

JJ was silent as she traced the outline of the water residue that still clung to the bottom of the window from the early April shower.

Hotch drove in silence, unaware of how to adequately address the elephant between them.

Why hadn't they found her? They had never stopped looking.

But they were supposed to be the best.

Why hadn't they found her?

JJ tried the handle of the door, biting her lip as she found the door locked and tried to force down the anxiety that ignited like kerosene inside of her.

This was Hotch, she reminded herself—forcing herself to focus on breathing evenly—just because she had no way to get out didn't mean that she was in danger.

But she couldn't get out.

There was no way out.

Hotch glanced over at the blonde, frowning at her obvious attempt to control her emotions. He drove in silence for a moment, misinterpreting her anxiety as disappointment.

"JJ, I'm sorry." He sighed, her earlier accusation nearly cutting a hole in his worn soul.

JJ gasped painfully as she dug her fingernails into her thighs, frantically trying to regain control over herself.

"JJ?"Hotch asked worriedly, glancing between JJ and the road, for the first time realizing it was something far more than child-like disappointment.

"I—" She shoved her face in front of the car air vents, blasting the cold AC on her face. "I—" Her breathing was rapid and he could see her desperately clawing at the collar of her shirt as if it were suffocating her.

"JJ, are you okay?" Hotch asked, torn with an unfamiliar sense of indecision for not knowing what to do.

Rather than answering, JJ tried to force herself to breath, though the entire world felt as if it were crashing down around her. Though this feeling was painfully familiar, it never got easier.

She never knew how to deal with it better.

Realizing that he was woefully unequipped to deal with JJ in this state, Hotch dialed the only number he could think of.

_"Hotch?" _Emily picked up the phone after the first ring. _"Tell me she's not hurt."_

"She's—" As if on cue, JJ gasped, desperate for air. Her heart raced as if by beating faster she would be able to get out of this frighteningly familiar situation.

_"What's going on?" _Emily demanded, and if Hotch hadn't witnessed Emily's fury at the blond just hours earlier, he would have sworn she was cursing herself for letting JJ spend time with him.

"I don't know." Hotch admitted, "She's not—she's not well"

_"What—"'_

"Emily," Hotch was aware his voice caught as he tried to focus on the road, "I think she can't breathe—I think..."

_"Put the phone on speaker."_ Emily ordered, as if instantly understanding. Hotch fumbled with the device in his hand and after missing twice, managed to hit the correct buttons.

_"It's a panic attack" _Emily explained, whether to JJ or him, he wasn't sure. _"JJ, I need you to match my breathing. Can you breathe with me?" _She asked, knowing full well that this tactic hardly ever worked with JJ when she was by her side, but hoping it would at least help her feel stable.

_"Hotch, you're pulling over?"_Emily asked, though there was little question that Hotch was going to do anything else. Immediately, Hotch pulled over to the side of the road, desperately hoping Emily could magically appear and make this all better.

She had to.

_"Where are you?"_ Emily demanded.

"42nd and Lexington." Hotch explained, cringing as he held JJ back gently as she tried to bolt out of the car.

_"JJ, it's okay. You're in Hotch's car." _Emily soothed expertly, as if keenly aware that JJ needed to be reminded she was no longer facing the monstrous villains that haunted her dreams. _"It's okay JJ. I'm coming for you. You'll be able to get out of the car. JJ you have to trust me. You will be able to get out."_

Hotch pursed his lips as he gulped down the swell of emotion as he saw Emily's car swerve dangerously around the corner. He wondered just how many traffic lights she had sped through in an effort to get there as soon as possible.

_"JJ, I will always come back for you, I promise." _Emily assured as she sprinted out of her car. Reluctantly, Hotch too stepped out of his car to help JJ as she practically fell out of the car into Emily's arms.

"I will always come back for you." Emily promised, soothing the distraught woman in her arms without a second look at her supervisor.

Hotch fought tears that burned in his eyes as he watched the interaction between the two women. "Do you want me to—" He offered weakly, fully aware of his own ineptitude.

Emily looked over JJ's head, shaking her head softly. "I have this." She whispered firmly as she directed JJ back toward her own car.

Derek, who had apparently accompanied Emily in her mad dash to return to JJ's side, stepped out of Emily's car and avoided uncomfortable on encroaching on the tender moment between the two friends, stepped up over to Hotch.

Hotch rolled down the window of the passenger's side to allow the younger man to voice whatever opinion seemed to be weighing him down, "Hotch..." Derek hesitated, "we need to talk—"

"Derek—" Hotch held up his hand, fully aware that he alone was responsible for JJ's outburst.

Derek had every right to censure him for encroaching on Emily's well-deserved time alone. But he couldn't help her. And that was his fault. Well aware of how close Emily and Derek were, and after seeing just what JJ was going through, he couldn't take it.

Not right now.

"I can't deal with you right now." Hotch shook his head as he stepped back into his car. "I just...I can't deal with you right now."

* * *

Hotch tried to force himself to focus on the case files in front of him, but something was niggling on the back of his mind from nearly a month before.  
Hotch drummed his fingers nervously on the knee of his pants as he and Emily waited in Dr. Mayfield's office with JJ sandwiched in between them, waiting for JJ's therapist to finish with an early appointment.

_"It will probably only be another minute JJ." Hotch assured, saying the words more for his own benefit than the blonde beside him._

_While he hated hospitals, he loathed waiting rooms._

_And even though it wasn't his appointment, his nerves were still on edge._

_A man stepped into the waiting room and approached the receptionist, "I need the number for the Astrazeneca rep." The man demanded, though he smiled apologetically at the three agents in the waiting room._

_"Absolutely Dr. Santos." The receptionist replied quickly, though even Hotch could say the way the woman fought to roll her eyes at his condescension. While the receptionist searched through her files, the man smiled apologetically. "I'm Doctor Miguel Santos." He introduced himself with an air of authority, "Susan and I co-op this practice."_

_Hotch smiled and Emily instinctively put her arm around the back of JJ's chair while JJ pulled her knees up onto the chair as her face dropped in anxiety. "FBI Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner." Hotch smiled, though made no efforts to identify either JJ or Emily to the man._

_The man nodded after a moment, apparently realizing neither Emily nor JJ would even make an attempt to introduce themselves. Emily was watching JJ carefully, as if certain the younger woman would break at the well-intentioned doctor simply making small talk._

_"Wait—are you—Agent Jareau?" Dr. Santos asked, recognition dawning though there was something about it that Hotch couldn't put his finger on. "It's good to see you."_  
_JJ shrunk back toward Emily but kept her gaze fixed on Dr. Santos's eyes. Hotch and Emily quickly exchanged glances, JJ hadn't acted like this for months._

_"Thank you." Hotch supplied, hoping to move the conversation along to relieve whatever imagined pressures that seemed to weigh on JJ's mind. "It was nice to meet you."_

_"I have a patient, a little girl named Alejandra waiting for me." Dr. Santos smiled, gathering the note from the receptionist and smiled as though apologizing for his need to leave. "She's a nice little girl who likes to keep silent to protect the people she cares about."_

_Hotch smiled politely, something inside him revolting at the man's kindness, but logically knowing nothing could really be wrong. "Thank you Dr. Santos."_

_"I'm glad you are safe," Dr. Santos smiled at JJ who continued to bite her lip nervously. When the man held his gaze, JJ looked up and nodded nervously._

_"JJ?" Dr. Mayfield stood in her open doorway as another patient slid out ahead of the good doctor._

_"Be good." Dr. Santos waved._

Since then, Hotch couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something.

A knock at the door distracted him from his thoughts, "Hotch?" Morgan asked, clenching his jaw as if he had resigned himself to some awful fate. "Can I have a word?"

"What can I do for you Morgan?" Hotch gestured toward the empty seat across from his desk, curious at Derek's obvious discomfort.

"It's about JJ." Derek explained, diving quickly to the point. "And Emily." He amended.

Hotch quirked his eyebrow, well aware that Derek and Emily were closer than any other member of the team.

Sensing that Hotch's mind was travelling down the wrong road, he quickly amended. "Not like that." Derek sighed, "Hotch—I don't know how to say this…"

"Just saying it often works for me." Hotch smirked, confused at Morgan's reluctance.

Morgan sighed, "I didn't think it'd be this hard," He murmured, though truthfully he had lain awake last night perfectly aware of how difficult it would be.

It was still harder than he thought.

"I lied to you." He admitted. Seeing the look of surprise that quickly morphed to anger and betrayal, he spoke quickly to get the situation out before Hotch could stop him. "I thought I was helping, but now…Hotch, JJ…she's a lot to deal with."

"I'm aware of that, Agent Morgan." Hotch ground out, forcing himself to remain calm despite the anger that broiled inside of him. "Is that—"

"Hotch, look man, I didn't want to be the one to say this, but Emily's in over her head."

"How over her head?" Hotch bit down on each word.

Derek groaned, not wanting to betray Emily's trust but…

It needed to be done.

"How over her head Agent Morgan?" Hotch nearly shouted.

"When we found JJ, and I stayed the night watching the hotel room?" Derek paused, waiting for Hotch's flash of recognition to continue. Seeing Hotch's eyes glower, he pressed forward, "She took Emily's gun. We found her in the shower—she—"

"She what?" Hotch demanded firmly, his face on the verge of errupting lividly. "She _what _Agent Morgan?"

"She had Emily's gun. She didn't have the clip." Derek bit his lip unconsciously. "I pulled her out and she thought—" Derek cringed at the memory, "she thought I was mad at her. She tried to pull at my—" He gestured toward his pants, fighting back the horrific memories, but almost unable to hold back the facts that had kept him up at night.

Hotch's normally stoic and emotionless face was colder than Morgan had ever seen it. "And you didn't tell me?"

"She was bad off." Derek admitted, "But I thought Emily could handle it."

Hotch was ready to explode at the younger agent but something in his voice made him stop.

Because this had happened nearly six months ago.

What made Derek come to his office today?

"And?" He asked, the one word highlighting the fury that was nearly boiling over.

"Emily told me yesterday that wasn't the only time."

"It wasn't the only time." Hotch's voice was soft and clear, his eyes narrowing as he grimly realized that he had no idea what was going on.

"She thought she could handle it. Hotch—"

"Get out." Hotch ordered seriously, his eyes furious as he ordered the younger man out of his office. "Get out."


	36. Chapter 36

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: SignedSealedWritten; 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; SparkleInTheSun; canny-bairn; and Love-B .xo. Reviews make my day, so I really do appreciate it._

_Special thanks to littlegreenbottle and brynnifer! Shout-out to SignedSealedWritten who encouraged me to post a celebratory chapter since I finished finals. Woohoo!_

_Also, I'm debating giving up Criminal Minds Fanfic once I finish all the stories I have started. Let me know which fandom to switch to, or if y'all like reading JJ stories despite her departure from the show._

* * *

Striding quickly through the BAU bullpen, he didn't pause as he walked toward Emily's desk. "Prentiss. My office. Now."

Emily glanced toward Garcia's closed door, a feeling of dread settling over her. Whatever Hotch wanted to talk about, he was not happy. Following him quietly into his office, she hesitated at the doorway, hoping that he would quickly inform her of his primary concern.

"Sit down Prentiss." He commanded quietly, trying to keep a lid on his emotions that he knew wouldn't stay contained much longer.

For her part, Emily sat without a word, silenced from a sarcastic retort by the thick tension in the room.

"Derek was just in my office." Hotch explained as if that information alone would reveal the reason behind his absolutely livid fury. "He told me the two of you neglected to inform me about an incident regarding JJ and a gun." He paused, waiting for any attempt at denial that she might offer.

"Damn." Emily cursed. Realistically, she knew she shouldn't have expected Derek to stay quiet about that incident.

But that didn't mean she wasn't angry.

Derek Morgan would get more than an earful from her.

He'd be lucky to be alive when she was through with him.

"So it's true." Hotch said softly, shaking his head in utter betrayal and disbelief. "Emily, how could you?" He asked incredulously. "All this time, _she should have been in a hospital!"_

"She's getting better, isn't she?" Emily retorted incredulously.

"Is she?" Hotch bit back angrily.

Sighing as she fought to respond calmly, she added, "I did what I thought was best—"

"You shouldn't have made that decision yourself!" He exclaimed. "How many times have you had to step in before she hurt herself? Was that the only time?" He asked pointedly.

Emily cringed, desperately wishing she could honestly say it had never happened. While it might be easier to lie, at this point, it was more important to lay all of her cards on the table. "A few?"

Hotch's face dropped. If Emily thought before that he couldn't be angrier, she had been mistaken. She could see a vein on his forehead

A sudden ringing of his phone stopped his rant in its tracks. "Hotchner." He barked into the phone as a greeting, not taking his eye off the woman seated in front of him.

_"This is Laurie Munroe. I'm sorry Agent Hotchner, but I was calling because I'm concerned about JJ." _The social worker sounded completely determined.

"Hold on Ms. Munroe, let me put you on speaker phone." He ground out angrily. While he was livid with Emily, she needed to know what was going on almost more than he did.

_"Agent Hotchner, I was just informed that Jennifer's last physical therapy appointment was cancelled. Her therapist informed me that Jennifer hasn't been seen in a week, Dr. Nielsen told me that at her last appointment Jennifer had lost three pounds." _Laurie sounded completely resolute,_ "I just need to know what's going on, especially after what happened yesterday. JJ needs a stable environment."_

Emily squirmed guiltily in her seat as Hotch's eyes blazed with anger.

"Oh, she'll have a stable environment, I assure you." Hotch promised, leveling a glare at Emily. "What should I do?"

_"Dr. Mayfield is insistent that the best thing for JJ is a feeding tube so that she can get the nutrients she needs. Dr. Nielsen agrees. JJ needs this Agent Hotchner"_ Laurie informed him.

Emily cringed at the suggestion, but Hotch pursed his lips tightly. "How soon can they do it?"

_"Dr. Nielsen would be available as soon as today_." Laurie sighed gratefully. She was ready to fight a battle for her charge if that's what it called for, but she was glad that Agent Hotchner was going to listen to reason.

Hotch set his jaw in a tight line, "Could you let him know we'll meet him in thirty minutes?"

"Sure Agent Hotchner, I can do that." Laurie agreed quickly, "This is the best decision for JJ right now."

Hotch ended the call with the social worker and rose from his seat immediately. "Hotch—" Emily started, trying desperately to stop him, "You can't do this. She's not going to understand—"

"I don't care if she understands" Hotch ground out, whipping around to glare at Emily angrily with his hand on the doorknob. "I care that she gets better."

"No, Hotch, please. You can't do this to her." Emily pled, following her supervisor on his warpath.

Hotch banged rapidly on Rossi's office door, the door practically breaking under his furious fist. "Hotch?" Rossi asked questioningly as he opened the door, "What's—"

"Get the car. You're coming with me." Hotch informed the older man who looked at him questioningly before nodding slowly and slipping out of his office.

Turning back to Emily, Hotch let out a deep slow breath, his anger radiating off him like heat from the sun. "You have five minutes. She's leaving with me in five minutes."

Emily nodded, biting her lip as she felt tears burning at the back of her eyes.

"What should I tell her?" She asked meekly, her heart breaking as she thought of the betrayal JJ might feel with whatever Hotch was planning on doing.

"I don't care." Hotch said seriously, his voice deadly calm. "But you have five minutes."

* * *

Emily racked her mind with a way to describe what was happening to the blonde who she knew would be scared and upset with what was about to happen. Truthfully, she was a little worried that JJ might try to run away—especially if she felt trapped.

Part of her wanted to just let JJ to go with Hotch and make Hotch deal with the emotional fall-out.

But she couldn't do that to JJ.

Because JJ trusted her.

And she could only imagine how scared the blonde was going to be.

Groaning as she slowly opened the door to Garcia's office, she felt her heart break even more as JJ smiled with relief at her. "I got new songs on my ipod." She held up the small device, grinning excitedly.

Emily gulped, "That's great JJ," she smiled, trying to force the lump in her throat down while she dealt with the situation before her. "That's really great."

"And Penelope got me a bracelet." She displayed proudly, oblivious to Emily's attempt to control her emotions.

Emily could only nod as she felt a pang of despair overcome her. She knew that Hotch was furious with her, and she was sure that he probably wouldn't let JJ come back and stay at her condo.

So not only did she get to tell JJ they were about to forcefully drag her to the hospital, she also had to say goodbye.

To JJ.

Thankfully, Penelope picked up on Emily's unease, "Em? What's going on?"

Emily grimaced as she ran a hand through her dark hair, "JJ, Hotch is going to take you somewhere. I need you to go with him, okay?"

"Why?" JJ asked. "Can't you come?"

Emily bit her lip, and shook her head softly. "No, honey, I'm afraid I can't come. I might not see a lot of you in the next little while, but Hotch is going to take good care of you. Okay?"

JJ stepped back and shook her head, "I don't want to go." She whispered, shaking her head softly, "If you can't come, I don't want to go."

Emily rubbed her chin, trying to mask her emotions despite the fact she felt her own heart breaking. "I know you don't want to go, JJ. But you need to go, will you go with Hotch for me?"

JJ shook her head, fear in her eyes as she repeated quietly, "I don't want to go."

Emily looked at Garcia pleadingly, begging the tech for some kind of help. Penelope shrugged and held up her hands, "Don't ask me to help. If she doesn't want to go—"

Suddenly, Hotch appeared in Garcia's doorway. Casting a quick glance in Emily's direction, he informed the agent quietly, "Time's up."

Looking at JJ, he tried to smile kindly, but he was so consumed with anger and frustration that it came out as more of a grimace. "Come on JJ, we're going."

"I don't want to." JJ reiterated, surprising all of them with her insistent refusal.

Hotch turned at Emily and glared accusingly before turning back to JJ and speaking gently, "I know you don't want to go, but it won't be for very long. I need you to come with me." He instructed, handing JJ her full, thick winter coat.

Reluctantly, and looking toward Emily as if pleading her to rescue her from some unknown horror, JJ followed Hotch out the door.

Emily dropped her eyes to the ground, allowing the tears to fall. "I'm sorry." She whispered, knowing JJ couldn't hear her. "I'm so sorry."

* * *

"Can I go to the bathroom?" JJ asked, tugging on the corner of Hotch's suit coat as she looked down at the floor.

Hotch forced the guilty feeling away as he nodded. This was the point of no return. He had made this decision for JJ, and he couldn't turn back now. "Just hurry back, Dr. Nielsen's waiting for us at the hospital."

JJ stopped in her tracks. Hotch winced as he saw her look up at him with fear written clearly along her face. "Hospital?"

Somewhere in the back of his memory he remembered Emily talking about how much effort she generally had to expend in order to coax JJ to go to the hospital.

JJ hated hospitals.

But he didn't have time for this.

Hotch nodded, "Dr. Nielsen is waiting for us." He repeated, knowing at the very least JJ felt mildly comfortable with the seasoned surgeon.

JJ gulped quietly. "Okay." She agreed, backing slowly toward the bathroom, biting her lip nervously.

Hotch felt a pang of worry strike him as JJ disappeared behind the bathroom doors. Forcing his feet not to follow her, he reasoned that the best way to help JJ was to show that he trusted her and give her at least some façade of privacy.

Time passed, and his worry grew.

But JJ needed to know he trusted her.

Before he allowed surgeons to cut into her, forcing her body to receive the nutrients it desperately needed.

Hell, this entire situation was wrong on so many levels.

He should never be in this position.

JJ should never be in this position.

This entire situation was because they hadn't found her—and that was his fault.

Ten minutes later, he checked his watch just to be certain that he wasn't overreacting.

JJ was just slow.

It was fine.

There was no reason for concern.

How many times had JJ sat quietly for hours as if the rest of them didn't exist?

She was fine.

After what felt like an eternity later, the door to the bathroom still hadn't opened.

Seeing a female agent pass by Hotch quickly stopped her. "Can you check the bathroom for me? I'm waiting for Agen—" He stopped himself at the slip in referring to JJ's correct title, "I'm waiting for JJ and she's been in there a while, I just want to make sure she's okay."

The woman nodded softly. The entire bureau was aware of what happened to Agent Jareau and the struggle the former agent was having in returning to her previous life. "Absolutely."

The woman was gone for only a moment before returning with just an ipod in her hands. "Are you sure it was this bathroom? Sir, there's no one in there."

Hotch's face dropped. _Not again!_

Emily was back at her desk, frantically trying to keep her mind busy with thoughts of serial killers and rapists so she wouldn't dwell on the fact that JJ was likely driving in an SUV on the way to the hospital, terrified of what was going to happen to her.

She was so engrossed in the file in front of her and her own thoughts, that she didn't hear Hotch storm up behind her. "Where is she?" He barked.

"Where's who?" She asked, turning around. Noticing that JJ was conspicuously absent, her eyebrows shot up quickly. "Where's JJ?"

"I thought she was with you." Hotch accused, worry growing on realizing that Emily was telling the truth.

Derek and Spencer turned at the commotion. "You lost JJ?" Reid accused hotly.

"She asked to go to the bathroom." Hotch defended, "I told her to be quick because the doctor was waiting for us at the hospital."

All three profilers groaned simultaneously, "You told her that?" Derek winced.

Emily cringed, having first hand experience with JJ's terror of hospitals.

Usually she could calm her down.

But usually this was all a part of a schedule so JJ had time to prepare.

She could almost imagine how terrified JJ would have been from the sudden change of plans—particularly when they involved a hospital.

"You told her you were taking her to the hospital?" Reid rolled his eyes, annoyed that Hotch could have been so stupid. "Of course she ran away!"

"So what should I have done?" Hotch retorted quickly, forgetting for just a moment that Reid had far more experience with this sort of thing than he himself had.

"Pretty much anything else would have been better." Reid snapped uncharacteristically.

"We need to find her." Hotch grumbled, knowing full well that it was his own fault JJ ran away. "Can we set aside my blame for a minute while we find her?"

The others nodded imperceptibly.

"Reid, get Garcia to check security feeds." Hotch ordered quickly, emboldened by Reid's quick compliance with his suggestion, "Emily, can you think of where she'd go? Any place she'd feel safe?"

Emily shrugged, searching her mind for any place that might stick out. "My condo. That's the only place I can think of. Her chair in the corner, her bedroom, my bedroom—"

"Rossi's downstairs, I'll have him start searching the routes to Emily's condo." Morgan suggested.

Hotch nodded, "We have to find her."

Emily spoke up worriedly, "Not only that, but—" She paused gesturing out the large windows, "But it's starting to rain."

"So?" Derek asked obliviously while Hotch's eyes widened with understanding.

"It's supposed to be a thunderstorm." Hotch said softly, his stomach rolling at the thought of JJ outside in the rain, knowing full well how the storms scared her.

"We've got to find her." Emily reiterated, "And soon. Because if not..." She let the thought trail off as she bit her lip. Looking up, she saw the grim faces of the profilers that surrounded her.

"We've got her location!" Reid yelled as he burst out of Garcia's office.

"How?" Derek asked, jumping up from his chair as he and the others rushed toward the door.

"Garcia put trackers in her clothes." Reid sighed nervously as he rapidly pushed the button to summon the elevator. "Apparently she 'didn't want to lose her again'." He smiled gratefully. "All seven trackers put her at the park about half a mile from Emily's condo."

The elevator doors dinged and Reid and Morgan stepped into the elevator with Emily at their heels. Hotch however, stepped forward, his body alone preventing Emily from following.

"Hotch—" Derek spoke up, seeing the fury that still burned in Hotch's eyes. It was wrong to keep Emily away from JJ, especially now. "We might need her—"

"Stay here." Hotch commanded Emily in no uncertain terms. "That's an order." His jaw was pulled into a tight line as the doors closed, leaving Emily stranded in their wake.


	37. Chapter 37

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: FloatingAmoeba; hxchick; 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; zzz-zzz84; CrimStudent47; Irismoon; Love-B .xo; aritzia; crazyobsession101; SignedSealedWritten; SparkleInTheSun; canny-bairn; youdude; stefi; savetonight._

_Thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement, by no means did I intend to beg for reviews (though I always appreciate them), I just had a few new stories that I posted with minimal reviews so I wanted to check and ensure that people still enjoyed reading JJ stories. However, this chapter contains many references to adult themes, so **please mind the rating**. Manuel makes his return and WILL be caught._

_Also, a HUGE thanks goes out to brynnifer, SignedSealedWritten, and littlegreenbottle who have literally brought this chapter into existence._

_And now, without further ado, the chapter that many of you have been waiting for for a long time. _

* * *

"I see her." Hotch breathed with a sigh of relief into the transmitter as he spied JJ walking towards the parking lot with a man at her side. He silently thanked Garcia once more for her unmatched genius.

Why hadn't he thought of trackers?

"JJ's with an unidentified male. I've got a visual, just approaching the Northwest entrance." He cursed under his breath as he saw a gun sticking out of the back of the man's pants. At his angle, he wouldn't be able to get a shot off without putting JJ in danger.

And if there was even a chance that JJ could be in danger, it wasn't worth the risk.

_"Hotch, Reid and I are five minutes away."_ Reid's voice came over the intercom.

_"I'm at the other end of the park."_ Derek informed through the transceiver. _"It will be at least ten minutes."_

Sneaking along the line of leafless trees and snow drifts to keep himself even with JJ and the man he hadn't seen before, he growled protectively as he saw the man place his arm firmly around JJ's waist. From his spot nearly twenty feet away from the pair, he could easily see JJ trembling with fear, her thick winter coat conspicuously missing. Whether it was from the man next to her, or the rumbling from the clouds overhead, he wasn't sure.

But he'd be damned if he let JJ out of his sight.

As the pair neared the line of trees in an apparent attempt to reach the parking lot about a hundred yards away, Hotch heard a deep voice speaking softly to JJ with a condescending tone. "—and take off that damn bracelet Alejandra."

Had Hotch looked at the man closely, he would have recognized him easily. As it was, his gaze was focused solely on JJ.

All that mattered was JJ.

Hotch smirked with pride as he saw JJ shake her head lightly and cradle the bracelet tightly to her chest. "No." She muttered so softly Hotch could barely hear her.

Out of the corner of his eye, Hotch saw the tall man quirked an eyebrow at JJ's unusual defiance. He quickly grabbed the bracelet and snatched it off JJ's wrist before shoving the woman slightly. JJ stumbled, knocked off balance, and tumbled into the snow on the cold ground while Manuel pocketed the small jewelry piece.

His resolve snapping, Hotch darted over through the crunchy frozen snow with his gun drawn, well aware that this man could now see him.

The man quickly pulled JJ in front of him, drawing his gun. His next move shocked Hotch to the core. The man thrust his gun into JJ's hands and pointed it toward Hotch. "Don't fail me again, Alejandra." He warned seriously in Spanish.

JJ cowered but slowly placed herself in between the two men, pointing the trembling gun in Hotch's general direction.

Hotch grimaced and tightened his grip on his gun, pointing it alternately towards this man and the shivering blonde whose lips were beginning to adopt a bluish hue. The gun shook in JJ's hands as she looked back at Manuel with thunder cackling overhead, "Don't hurt him Manuel." She begged softly, not realizing her plea had been made in English.

"You're Manuel?" Hotch asked, feeling his entire body consumed with loathing for the man he knew was responsible for JJ's torment. Turning to JJ, Hotch pointed the gun at the unarmed man. "JJ, put the gun down, I'm here."

The gun lowered a fraction of an inch before Manuel narrowed his gaze angrily at the blonde. "Alejandra." He warned, the ever present threat with a single word steadying the gun now pointed firmly at Hotch.

Hotch sighed and pointed the gun toward JJ momentarily before pointing it back at the man behind JJ. Speaking softly to JJ, he winced as he saw her jump with fright as a low thunder rumbled through the air. "JJ, I need you to put down the gun and come over here."

JJ looked back at Manuel, obviously distressed before shaking her head slowly. "I can't."

Manuel chuckled and patted JJ reassuringly on the back. And spoke in English, clearly wanting the Agent to understand. "You see, Agent Hotchner, Alejandra belongs to me. She needs someone to make decisions for her. Isn't that right Alejandra?"

JJ bit her lip indecisively before nodding slowly. She tried to focus on Hotch and ignore the terrifying delusions she knew were a simple result of the drugs Manuel had given her. It had felt so good, and so disgusting at the same time to have the familiar liquid coursing through her veins.

She hated herself.

She hated Manuel.

She had tried—but there was no getting away from Manuel. Ever.

And now, she had to protect Hotch before he got hurt.

The gun shook in her hands and she shook her head. Manuel was right, she needed him. She was so weak.

"Don't listen to him JJ." Hotch focused on the blonde, pleading that his words would somehow get through to her. "Just put down the gun and everything will be alright."

The gun lowered slightly in JJ's hands before the sound of Manuel's voice made it snap back to pointing squarely at Hotch's chest. "Nothing will ever be alright, Alejandra." Manuel said softly. "You know that, and I know that. None of this is ever going to be over."

"What is going on here?" Rossi asked, yanking his weapon out in front of him while Reid reluctantly did the same.

JJ's eyes darted around nervously at the four men that surrounded her, three of whom had weapons trained on either her or Manuel. "JJ, step aside." Rossi ordered firmly, hoping that by encouraging some distance between JJ and Manuel, she might be able to escape the death grip he seemed to have on her overly worn psyche.

Manuel snorted gleefully. "See Alejandra, even your supposed friends don't trust you to make the right choice. They know you're not strong enough." The man using JJ as a human shield seemed to grow in power before their eyes. "But Alejandra, you can end it all right now."

The gun wavered slightly as JJ turned back to Manuel with a questioning glance, though the profilers stood firmly in their spots, unsure of what JJ would do if they startled her with a sudden movement. A clap of thunder caused JJ to jump once more, the gun quivering in her hands.

"What the hell?" Morgan cried, yanking out his own weapon as Rossi followed at his heels.

"Nice of you to join us Derek." Manuel smirked, the interaction between the pair going mostly unnoticed by the profilers due to the blonde still holding the gun pointed sharply in Hotch's direction.

"JJ, put down the gun. Let us help you." Derek pled, realizing far more than the others that anything Manuel had to say would be the words of the devil himself.

"Alejandra, look at the power I placed in your hands. I trust you to make the choice that won't disappoint me." Manuel encouraged. Placing his arm around JJ, he pushed his thumb forcefully into the scars that ran down along her wrist. "You've tried it before."

JJ shuddered, remembering how angry Manuel had been when he found her bleeding on the floor. After the second time, she had quickly come to the realization that if she was ever going to make another attempt, she had better well succeed.

"JJ—" Hotch warned, trying to drown out Manuel's words. He inched closer to JJ's trembling frame, stopping when he saw her panic momentarily and take a step closer to Manuel. "I want you to listen to me. I want you to put down the gun and step aside."

"This could all be over. All of the pain, all of the nightmares, they could all go away." Manuel encouraged. "You have my permission this time, Alejandra. Only this time, you don't have to fail like before."

"JJ, no!" Hotch insisted.

As if in one fluid motion, the gun moved from pointing the barrel at Hotch to being pressed tightly against JJ's temple.

Manuel smiled gleefully. "Good, Alejandra—"

"JJ." Hotch interrupted and quickly held up his gun to place it back in its holster. Derek and Rossi both kept their weapons trained on Manuel, ready for the briefest second that they might be able to arrest him.

Or shoot him.

The second was by far the better option.

"Think of Will, and Henry. They love you. They want you to get better. We all want you to get better. We're here for you." Hotch reminded her soothingly, cringing as he saw her visibly flinch when he tried to step toward her.

"He was going to take you to the hospital." Manuel reminded her softly, grinning as a few droplets of rain began to fall from the sky. "And you told me, Emily didn't want you anymore. You are a burden to them just like you are a burden to me."

JJ bit her lip and her finger inched closer to the trigger, each droplet of water striking her like a hammer hitting a nail.

"That's not true JJ." Hotch corrected, trying to speak over Manuel but listening just long enough to know what arguments he needed to refute. "I took you away from Emily." His voice caught as he realized that this too was all his fault. If he hadn't been so caught up in his fury…maybe things right now would be different. Instead he used Emily as an easy scapegoat.

That had to be fixed.

"Emily was trying to help." He assured JJ, honestly believing the statement was true, "I was—we all are just trying to help. But—" He wracked his mind for some way to explain this to JJ, "But sometimes we have to make difficult choices for those we love."

The gun faltered almost imperceptibly as JJ lightly relaxed the gun against her temple.

"Alejandra." Manuel warned. JJ's fingers tightened on the gun, her white knuckles obvious even to the Agents standing several feet away.

Rossi cursed under his breath. Since Manuel was not wielding a weapon or physically putting the Agents in danger none of them could shoot at will.

Yet.

He'd be more than happy to end this bastard's life, but he also knew that JJ deserved justice, and a quick death was too good for this scum bag.

Derek tightened his fingers around the cool metal of the gun, grimacing as he kept his target trained just above JJ's left shoulder. While he knew he wouldn't be able to get a shot off, he wasn't about to let this guy go. He shook his head as he realized they were at an impasse. Every time Hotch said something, Manuel had a counter point. Neither seemed to be able to hold any weight.

Eventually, they might just have to rush JJ and try to end this with force.

They had no idea how she would react—and none of them were about to risk her safety.

But the weather was rapidly deteriorating—they were running out of time.

Suddenly, a softer voice spoke up from Morgan's left. "JJ, honey. Put down the gun." Emily stepped forward, a large plush blanket tucked lightly under her arm.

JJ's arm dropped slightly at the sight of Emily. Emily winced as JJ trembled, whether from fear or from the light chill in the air, she was uncertain.

"What are you doing here?" Manuel spat softly. He had been following JJ and the agents for weeks and the sight of the other woman hampered his sure success.

Emily shrugged off Manuel's question and focused on trying to maintain JJ's eye contact. "I thought you might be cold." She held the blanket out simply, blatantly ignoring the gun loosely pointed at JJ's head. "Do you want to trade me the gun for the blanket?"

JJ bit her left thumbnail, the gun shaking in JJ's right hand.

Taking JJ's hesitation as a positive sign, Emily spoke softly and inched her way closer to the trembling blonde. "JJ, it's okay to be scared, but you can't do this. Do you hear me? There are people that love you, that want to help you get better. I know this is scary now—" Emily shifted imperceptibly closer to JJ, pausing with each step to gauge JJ's reaction, "—but one day, it won't be as scary."

JJ glanced back at Manuel before shirking slightly, "I don't want to be scared anymore." She murmured softly, wincing away from the man whose face contorted angrily.

"I know." Emily assured with her voice full of sympathy and compassion as she stepped closer to JJ. "It won't always be like this."

"It will always be like this." Manuel countered in JJ's ear as he yanked her closer to him. "There is only one way to stop it."

"JJ," Derek spoke up, hit with a stroke of brilliance, "If you do this, Emily will be all alone. You don't want to hurt Emily, do you?" He knew it was underhanded and manipulative, but if he got JJ a foot away from this asshole, he could worry about repairing the damage later.

Manuel smiled, "Remember the little girl, Alejandra? Or the doctor? All you do is hurt the people you care about. It's better this way Alejandra."

Morgan's face dropped at Manuel's counterpoint, realizing too well that he didn't know either of the situations that the man was referring to.

Emily shook her head, focused completely on the blonde in front of her. "JJ, has Manuel ever told you he loved you?" Emily asked, hoping her new tactic would work. Seeing JJ's blank response, she smirked and pressed forward. "Do you remember that time we were at the bar? And we met Brad? We had so much fun that day. _A real FBI Agent. _Love is being able to laugh with someone because you can be yourself." Emily smiled despite the seriousness of the situation. "JJ, I love you."

"Alejandra—" Manuel attempted to interrupt, seeing the gun lag against JJ's temple.

Catching on to Emily's brilliant plan, Hotch stepped closer to JJ. "What about when Henry was born? I don't think I've ever seen you smile so much. JJ we were all so happy for you that day. Love is happy. It shouldn't ever hurt._" _Hotch stepped forward slowly, "Love should never mean that you are taken away from the people you love. We love you JJ." Hotch added softly.

"Alejandra!" Manuel shouted angrily, realizing that his control was slipping through his fingers. He felt a surge as the gun raised in JJ's hand, but he frowned as he saw JJ's hands trembling more than they were before. "Love?" Manuel scoffed silently in her ear, "How can they love you? They abandoned you for three years. Alejandra, I had to protect you because they didn't care—"

Quickly speaking over the controlling sociopath, Derek moved around Emily's side, flanking Manuel from a different angle "What about that time you were just new in the unit and we spent the night playing darts. You kicked my _ass._" Derek shook his head, "That was when I decided you and I would be good friends. Remember, me the player, you the hustler?" He smiled at the inside joke and felt a surge as a trace of a smile flashed ever so briefly along JJ's lips. "Friendship," Derek choked, "love, they're all the same." He took one step closer, tightening the quickly forming circle around JJ and Manuel. "I admire you JJ, you're my friend."

"You're just another whore that they feel sorry for." Manuel spoke louder, hoping to drown out the profilers as they proceeded to share happy memories of easier times. "How could they admire _you_? You're just a whore—"

JJ's head hung slightly at Manuel's words spoken almost directly to her soul.

"What about the Redskins game?" Reid asked, filling in the lone gap and coming up from behind Manuel. JJ shifted slightly to see the gangly genius. "I checked. That was the only game the Redskins won the entire season, I don't know that I've ever seen you so happy. I've never had so much popcorn in my entire life." Reid chuckled at the memory, and then grew serious. "Love is not withholding food or punishing someone, love is giving a person everything they need because you believe they have value. JJ, you mean so much to me, I value you."

"_Alejandra_" Manuel spoke sharply, incensed as he could feel the tight bonds on JJ's psyche slipping through his fingers and even more livid as he realized he was slowly being surrounded. "Shoot the gun!" He yelled. "Do it! Do it now!"

Tears were streaming down her face, and all could see the gun shaking violently in her hands.

"From the minute I met you JJ," Rossi stepped forward, the team somehow neatly forming a complete circle around JJ, Manuel and an approaching Emily, "Well actually, when you ripped into me after I leaked that mask on my first case—I realized that you were the best agent the FBI had ever seen. Love is respect. I respect you JJ."

"JJ, you are my best friend. Bad things have happened, but good things can happen too. Love is having hope in the future, trusting the people you care about." Emily smiled, emboldened by the team's support of her tactic. Manuel was shouting incessantly, but nothing else mattered as JJ's eyes bored into Emily with indecision. "I trust you." She held out the blanket in her hands, "Can you put down the gun so I can give you this blanket?"

JJ hesitated, the gun loosely pointed toward her head with her finger far from the trigger, her breath coming out in huffed sobs as she tried to decide.

She didn't know who she even was anymore.

Hotch spoke up, realizing they were teetering on the verge of success, "JJ, Manuel can only offer you pain. Happy things can only happen if you put down the gun."

The gun sagged, but before Emily could close the short distance between JJ and herself, Manuel snatched the gun from JJ's relaxed hand. "This will _never_ be over." He promised, ripping the gun from JJ's hands.

In what felt like slow motion, Manuel raised the gun and a shot sounded immediately. Emily crashed against JJ's trembling frame, not knowing where the shot had come from as she forced JJ to the ground.

"JJ, are you okay?" She asked, pushing herself off the blonde only far enough to check the younger woman for injuries.

Manuel looked down at his hand, involuntarily pressed tightly against his stomach. Pulling his hand away, his eyes widened in shock as it came back covered in blood. His legs buckled underneath him as he crumpled to the ground. Rossi stepped back and held up his gun in satisfaction, glad that his bullet had found its mark squarely in the bastard's back.

"We're going to need two ambulances," Reid muttered to a waiting Garcia through the transceiver. "Suspect is down and injured. JJ is safe, but she'll need an ambulance."

Infuriated, Derek stepped up quickly, placing the heel of his thick shoe against the exit wound on Manuel's abdomen. The evil man cried out in pain and released his hold on JJ's thin arm. Without so much as a downward glance at the man writhing in pain beneath him, Derek gently lifted JJ up off the cold ground.

Derek quickly sloughed off his jacket and placed it around JJ's quivering shoulders. "Go." He suggested to JJ kindly, looking down at Manuel and putting a little more pressure against the wound.

"You take care of this?" Hotch asked softly as he put a strong arm around JJ's shoulders.

"Yeah." Derek nodded. "I've got this, don't I Manuel?" He bit out the man's name in disgust. The other profilers thought they could understand his hatred of the man that had caused JJ so much pain.

But they had no idea.


	38. Chapter 38

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: Zolidify; canny-bairn; stefi; midmac; zzz-zzz84; SparkleInTheSun; littlegreenbottle; crazyobsession101; and Love-B .xo._

_Sorry for the delay, I'm up at my parents house and it's not exactly prime writing time :) Special thanks to SignedSealedWritten for making me update, and brynnifer who's always fantastic._

* * *

Relinquishing Manuel into Derek's capable hands, Hotch gently tugged JJ towards the approaching ambulances. "JJ, we need to get you out of the snow," Hotch choked down his emotions as he realized that not only was JJ's thick coat missing, but her jacket and usual sweatshirt were nowhere to be found leaving her only in her sweat pants and long sleeved t-shirt underneath Derek's thin jacket. "I'm sure you're cold."

JJ shivered in his arms, but otherwise remained silent as she tried to shirk away Hotch's help. Hotch grimaced as JJ suddenly stopped and clung tightly toward him.

"JJ, are you okay?" He asked softly, not wanting to startle her.

"It's a cat." Her voice trembled with terror.

Frantically Hotch scanned the landscape in front of them to find whatever was terrorizing JJ to help her avoid it, only to realize that there was nothing between them and the ambulance but large drifts of snow. "A cat?"

"It's barking." JJ clung tightly and stepped around some invisible barrier. "I need my jacket." She pled, holding up her wrist as if that explained everything perfectly.

"You're right. You need your jacket." Hotch supplied supportively, cringing as he forced away the questions that plagued his mind. "They have it there in that car." He pointed toward the ambulance where the medics had begun racing toward them.

JJ swooned lightly and staggered before Hotch reached out and caught her before she tumbled into the snow. Sighing, Hotch scooped JJ into his arms, "I'm just going to take you to that car right over there." He pointed, not wanting to frighten her, but not certain what was going on. He quickly strode over to the waiting paramedics and set JJ lightly on the waiting stretcher.

"Be careful," Hotch growled as one medic hopped in the back of the truck with him and leaned over JJ. "She's—" He paused, utterly unable to describe what exactly JJ was, "She's been through a lot."

The medic nodded and quickly placed his fingers against JJ's wrist to check her pulse. "Her pulse is irregular." The medic shook his head. "I'm starting an IV." He called out to no one in particular.

As the medic leaned over the blonde, JJ reacted without warning. Almost instantly, she shoved the other man hard, tossing the unprepared medic practically into Hotch's lap. She quickly scrambled off the stretcher, yanked the door open and flew out of the ambulance without a second thought.

Hotch pushed the medic away and darted after her. A few short steps later, he scooped JJ up as she thrashed in his arms. Her arms lashed out angrily in a frantic attempt to get free.

His head jerked back as JJ slapped her hand hard across his chin. Tears sprang to his eyes and JJ dropped her weight, sliding to the ground.

"My jacket!" She cried, scrambling through the snow toward where the other profilers were quietly preparing Manuel to be transported in the other ambulance. "Señor has my jacket!"

"JJ!" Hotch lunged after her, tripping over the soft snow.

It didn't take long for Hotch to catch up with her. Placing his strong arms around her waist, he held her as she crumpled against him in the snow.

She sobbed against him, burying her face into his chest. "Solo quiero mi chaqueta." She murmured softly.

He stroked the back of her head gently as she trembled lightly. "It's going to be okay, JJ." He encouraged softly. "We'll find your jacket." Whispering into the transceiver, he instructed the team. "Keep an eye out for JJ's jacket. She needs it."

He smiled gratefully as he saw the paramedic slowly approach. "JJ, it's going to be okay."He assured, grimacing as she shivered in his arms. He quickly shed his own jacket and placed it over her quivering shoulders despite the bulkiness from.

The medic spoke up softly, "We may need to sedate her."

Hotch nodded, biting back his feelings of inadequacy. "Do whatever you need to." He instructed, holding JJ closely to his chest.

It didn't matter the cost, he would do anything to protect her.

Even if he had to protect her from herself.

* * *

Derek quietly stepped into the waiting ambulance, grimacing at the man on the stretcher that had caused so much pain not only to JJ, but to the entire team.

But no one could quite understand that Derek himself had been an unknown victim of Manuel's debauchery until this very day.

Because Derek had been seeing Manuel on a regular basis—except to Derek, he knew the man as Dr. Miguel Santos.

His therapist.

"Agent Morgan." Manuel gasped as he pulled the oxygen mask off his face. "I'm a little busy now, but if you'd like to reschedule…" The man smirked vilely, exerting the little control he still had as the medic applied pressure to the exit wound.

"Shut up." Derek spat as the doors shut behind him. Looking up at the medic who was working over Manuel, Derek tried to remain calm. "Do you need me to do anything?" He asked.

"Put pressure here." The medic instructed, guiding Derek's hands to Manuel's stomach.

Manuel winced as more than enough pressure was applied to the gaping wound in his abdomen. "The best part—" The other man rasped, "is that I never would have known Alejandra was afraid of dogs if you hadn't told me."

Derek ground his teeth angrily as he desperately tried to reign in his emotions, but prodded Manuel's injury and smirked as he saw the other man cry out in pain. "I trusted you." He bit out angrily.

"At my house, I have a gift for her." Manuel smiled as he breathed in the oxygen provided through the mask strapped to his nose and mouth. "Please make sure she gets it."

"Go to hell." Derek spat, pushing against the wound with fervor.

"I'll see you there." Manuel smirked before suddenly drifting into unconsciousness.

* * *

As the ambulance doors opened, Dr. Nielsen stepped back involuntarily as JJ attempted to fling herself out of the door. "Déjame ir!" She moaned.

"What the hell?" Dr. Nielsen asked angrily as they pushed JJ's gurney through the hospital doors. "You told me you'd be here in _thirty minutes_. It's been _two hours_."

"No. No! No quiero!"She sat suddenly up only to have Hotch gently push her back down to the gurney.

"I believe hospitals are open 24 hours for emergencies, _doctor._" Hotch spat out with disgust, following JJ as far down the hall as they would let him go. Turning toward the blonde, he gently caught her errant fist and pushed it back toward the gurney. "JJ, I need you to calm down, it's okay."

"Thirty-four year old female, 94 pounds. Body temp is down to 95⁰." The medic announced in a rush as he tried to keep JJ secured to the gurney. "Unknown duration of exposure."

"How did her body temp get so low?" Dr. Nielsen spoke over JJ's frantic cries and glanced up at Hotch and nodded his approval as Hotch followed them into the trauma room.

"I—" Hotch shook his head full of self loathing, "I lost track of her."

"You lost _track_ of her?" The younger man asked incredulously, "Do we need to repeat our earlier conversation—"

"Por favor." JJ was begging, with tears rolling down her face as she hysterically tried to free herself. "No quiero!"

"He hurt her." Hotch bit down the emotion that swelled within him. _Hurting_ JJ didn't even begin to describe what Manuel had done to her, and even in the short span that JJ had spent with him, he had no idea what the man had done to her.

Or what terror the man had exacerbated.

Dr. Nielsen paused almost imperceptibly as he quickly picked up the message underlying Hotch's words. "Man—" He trailed off, not wanting to frighten JJ by speaking her tormentor's full name, but needing to know for certain that the infamous man was involved. Because if Manuel was involved, Dr. Nielsen would be running every test imaginable.

Hotch nodded reluctantly, unable to fully express what Manuel had done to once again destroy the woman that he cared about like a daughter.

And he'd be damned if he let that bastard get away with it.

Hotch followed the gurney into a trauma room. Dr. Nielsen grimaced as Hotch stepped around the machines to take a spot near JJ's head, but allowed Hotch to stay by her side.

Because even if it helped JJ feel _slightly_ more comfortable, he was willing to let the dark haired agent do whatever he needed to.

* * *

Hotch waited expectantly outside JJ's hospital room door.

"Hotch?" Rossi asked, coming up from down the hall.

"Dave." Hotch breathed a sigh of relief, grateful at least that he wouldn't have to go through this all alone at the moment.

"Prentiss and Reid are getting with Garcia to find everywhere that Manuel might have taken her." Dave informed him. "It's over."

Hotch quirked an eyebrow before shaking his head sadly, "It's never going to be over. Not for JJ."

"Is she—okay?" Dave asked, not sure how to phrase his question.

"They stabilized her. Apparently Manuel gave her some sort of hallucinogenic." Hotch leaned against the door as he waited for JJ to return. "It was bad."

"Emily said you were going to have them insert a feeding tube."

Hotch nodded grimly and looked up at Dave's grave face. "Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing?"

Rossi nodded thoughtfully. "I think you're finally doing the right thing." He bit his lip thoughtfully, "But I don't know that any of us can help JJ get the care she needs."

Hotch groaned, "Dr. Nielsen suggested admitting her to a full-time care facility—even if just for a few weeks."

Dave nodded, clapping his hand on Hotch's shoulder comfortingly and marveling at how Hotch could appear far more like a devastated father than a concerned colleague.

But he had learned that this team, this group of people was far more than a collection of adept agents.

They _were_ a family.

Reaching into his wallet, he pulled out a card and held it out to Hotch. "I thought this might happen." He admitted, "so I found somewhere—"

"You _thought_ this might happen?" Hotch asked incredulously, "You were waiting for this to happen?"

"If you'd pull your head out of your ass long enough, you'd realize that this was going to happen sooner or later." Dave warned, "I just wanted to be prepared."

Hotch nodded, forcing himself to regain control of himself. "You found somewhere?" He asked, prompting Dave to continue his explanation.

"It's a great place. Call and ask for Gina. There's a room waiting for JJ."


	39. Chapter 39

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: SparkleInTheSun; Love-B .xo; savetonight; Zolidify; midmac; laurenhd08; claudia-scags; Moi; and EmmaBerlin. They literally spur me forward in posting, so thank you._

_Special thanks to SignedSealedWritten brynnifer who's always fantastic._

* * *

Hotch slammed to door shut angrily as if by taking his aggression out on the SUV he could erase the memory of earlier that day. "Everything okay?" Dave asked, eyeing him closely.

"Fine." Hotch bit out as he stepped around the car. "Let's do this."

Emily slowly closed the door to the backseat of the SUV, somewhat grateful for the chance to be at work with the team again, but also wishing desperately she didn't have to have her first raid back be at this house.

Manuel's house.

The suburban neighborhood was in pristine condition, snidely mocking the profilers as it kept the horrors of JJ's torment behind its doors.

"Did you know that approximately 600,000 to 800,000 victims are trafficked annually across international borders worldwide?" Reid asked as he too slid out of the SUV. "And the State Department has estimated that 80 percent of internationally trafficked victims are female and 70 percent are trafficked into the sex industry." Reid spouted off, unaware of the odd looks the others were giving him.

Derek practically jumped out of the SUV after Reid, shutting the door forcefully behind him. "I don't think now's the time for your _statistics_, Reid." He fought to keep his tone light, knowing intellectually that Reid didn't intend to remind them of JJ's position.

"Morgan, you and Rossi go along the back. Reid, Prentiss, and I will take the front." Hotch informed as if the others hadn't spoken.

The two agents nodded and quickly disappeared around the back of the house.

"Ma'am," An officer spoke loudly, causing Hotch and Reid to turn with curiosity. "This is a police line, you can't cross—"

The woman was in her early thirties with what appeared to be a two year old clinging desperately to her as she spoke pointedly to the officer. "Oh, please God, tell me he didn't kill her. I _called_ you. I knew something was wrong!" She insisted, pushing past the officer who held his ground firmly.

"Ma'am, this is an ongoing investigation—" The young officer continued his standard explanation.

"Ma'am, I'm Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, this is Special Agent Emily Prentiss. Can she ask you a few questions over here?" Hotch nodded his approval at the young officer who then held up the tape for the woman and her child.

The woman stopped just short of the sidewalk as she held her hand up to her mouth in horror. "I knew something was wrong. Please, tell me she's okay."

"Ma'am, can I get your name?" Emily asked, smiling gently. She nodded to Hotch who quickly retreated and with Reid approached the front door.

"Caroline. Caroline Parker." The woman shifted the boy in her arms. "I live right over there—" She pointed to a house just across the street where an eight to ten year old girl stood in the empty doorway, eyeing the commotion with curiosity.

"How long have you lived—" Emily didn't get a chance to finish her question before Caroline answered quickly.

"We just moved here less than a year ago. Our boxes aren't even all unpacked." The woman eyed Hotch and Reid as they slowly entered the home.

"You said you knew something was wrong. Did you see anything unusual—"

"My husband—Alan—he always tells me I'm a busybody, but…I knew something was wrong."

Emily could tell this woman was caught up in the heat of the moment, and definitely had information that right now Emily couldn't quite understand. Ushering the woman to the other side of the SUV, away from the sight of Manuel's house, she tried again. "You thought something was wrong, can you tell me why you thought something was wrong?"

Caroline took a deep breath in an attempt to better help the agent with kind eyes. "Like I said, we moved here only a little while ago. Dr. Santos—he seemed nice, genuine even. But one night Brock was up with a fever and I was looking out the window. I saw this blonde girl limping into the house. She fell down, and Dr. Santos grabbed her by the arm and practically dragged her into the house."

"What did the girl look like?" Emily queried.

"Long blonde hair, frail. I didn't see her face then, but she was so tiny—skinny tiny, she was tall, but she was like unnaturally skinny—she looked as if she was probably fifteen or so."

Emily immediately felt her senses pique with interest as she quickly jotted down this information. "What happened next?"

"I went over, knocked on the door with a pot of soup. I told him what I saw and he told me that it was a patient he was helping in rehab." Caroline ran a hand through her dark curly hair.

"He said he brought a patient home?" Emily asked, unable to keep the disbelief out of her voice.

"Yeah, he said she was a runaway that needed help but couldn't afford it." Caroline snorted, "I think he thought I believed him, but I didn't. It just didn't add up."

"So you called the police?" Emily deduced from the other woman's earlier insistence.

"Yeah, they showed up. He told them the same story, but this time, she was his sister."

"The story is inconsistent." Emily muttered, jotting down the woman's story quickly in her notebook.

"Exactly!" Caroline cried with relief. "Alan said he was probably embarrassed at first, that's why he didn't tell me—I _knew_ something was wrong."

"Did anything else happen?" Emily asked. "With the police?"

"They said they didn't have probable cause or something like that, but when they looked through his house they couldn't find her." Caroline shook her head, "They told me to keep an eye out, if anything else suspicious happened to give them a call."

"Did anything else happen?"

"I watched him. I watched. Alan said I became obsessed—but somebody needed to do _something_—so I watched. The girl, she'd be gone for weeks, sometimes even a month or two, then she'd come back at weird times, only to leave again at four in the morning."

Emily frantically jotted down the information and Caroline took it as a sign to continue, "Agent Prentiss, I could _see_ bruises. From my kitchen window, I could see that she was hurt."

"Did this woman have a name?"

"Dr. Santos said her name was Alejandra." Emily's face blanched and Caroline quickly picked up on the recognition. "Please tell me she's okay," The younger woman pleaded.

"She's okay." Emily bit her lip, images of the scene earlier that day playing before her mind. "Did anything else happen?" She pressed lightly.

"Once, I was outside jogging at five in the morning when they were coming home and I went over to talk to them. She wouldn't look at me, Manuel introduced her as his niece—I knew that girl needed help." Caroline explained. "I called the police again, but when they came out they couldn't find a sign of her."

"Thank you." Emily smiled gratefully, suddenly struck by a pang of emotion that this woman had tried to help, but like the team, her effort was not enough. "I'll let you know if I have any more questions."

The other woman nodded and shifted the young boy in her arms before ducking back under the police tape.

As Emily watched as Mrs. Parker retreated to her own home. She hoped that this time, as everybody bound together to help JJ, they wouldn't fail her again.

* * *

Lisa Nielsen sat down on the oversized couch, relaxing just for a minute despite all the housework she needed to do. Zoey's toys were strewn all around the floor and Lisa had half a mind to reprimand her daughter and try to force her to maintain some type of order.

She sighed as she noticed the empty food-bowl signifying that Zoey either she forgot to feed her trusted companion since her ordeal or the six-year-old was sneaking table scraps and other treats to the German Shepherd that Dixie really shouldn't be eating.

Maybe she should try to discipline her daughter, trying to remind her of what was against the rules.

She had not, after all, given up her job as a high level corporate attorney just to pick up toys and become a glorified maid for her daughter.

But then—

She was still haunted by what had happened to her little girl.

A few toys on the floor were a welcome exchange to be able to rear her daughter to adulthood, even if it did mean constantly finding toys on the floor or table scraps in the doggie-bowl.

Because for nearly fourteen hours—fourteen heartbreaking hours that felt like decades—Lisa had been forced to contemplate the life she would lead without her little girl.

Toys on the floor and sneaking table-scraps for the dog were a welcome alternative.

She flipped on the news, wanting to catch the important headlines before she started dinner.

_"—in Liberty Way Park today. According to our source this is where the FBI Agent that had been missing for months managed to confront her former captor."_

Lisa leaned forward, intrigued. She was well aware of Agent Jareau's case—everyone was—but since her own daughter had been kidnapped from her bedroom it was far too real. A picture of a well-groomed man filled the television screen.

_"Dr. Miguel Santos, formerly a well-respected therapist, has now been linked to the disappearance of Agent Jareau. In today's attack, Agent Jareau somehow managed to wrestle the gun from Dr. Santo's grasp and free herself from her former captor."_

A picture of JJ replaced Dr. Santos's and Lisa whipped around as her daughter squealed in excitement.

"Zoey!" Lisa was by her daughter's side in a second, well aware of her sometimes momentary triggers that sent her back to the hellish experience. "Is everything okay?"

"Mommy!" Zoey gasped. "It's my Angel!"

"What's that baby?" Lisa asked, smoothing the girl's dark hair.

"My _Angel_" Zoey explained, "it's her!"

_"Agent Jareau has been admitted to an area hospital and authorities have not yet released information on her condition." _The reporter finished, and the new continued.

"Mommy, will you find My Angel?" Zoey asked excitedly. "I've gotta see her."

"Zoey, are you sure Sweetheart?" Lisa asked. When Zoey had been found, to Robert and Lisa's horror, Zoey could barely utter any coherent phrase other than referring to some person as 'her angel'.

Months of therapy had thankfully helped return Zoey to her normally precocious, though more nightmare prone, state.

_Her angel? Agent Jareau?_ Lisa bit her lip thoughtfully, it seemed too much of a stretch.

Zoey leveled a glare that rivaled the ones she herself gave to her loving husband when he made stupid comments. "I'll see what I can do, alright?"

"Yay! Thanks Mommy!" Zoey hugged Lisa's legs tightly before seeing Dixie chewing a ball in the corner. "Can me 'n Dixie play outside?" She pled.

Lisa chuckled, marveling at the girl in front of her. Hesitating for only a second, she nodded. "You can only play in the back yard, you can't go outside the fenced area, grab a jacket and I will watch you." She rattled off the familiar instructions.

"Okay!" Zoey scrambled excitedly, the large German Shepherd following closely behind.

Lisa laughed as she heard something crash from Zoey's room and cringed as she thought of the mess that would need cleaning.

If only life were so simple.

* * *

Derek stepped into the home, fighting the pit in his stomach that grew with every step he made toward the hell JJ had been forced into.

Rossi signaled forward, indicating Derek should flank him from behind. Morgan winced at the sight of the sleek modern furniture and wall hangings that seemed to give off the air of sophistication and wealth.

After quickly clearing the main floor, Rossi nodded and Derek put his gun back in its holster.

"So this is it." Dave murmured, placing his own firearm securely back in its holster. "This is where he had her."

"This is it." Derek agreed softly.

No words needed to be spoken, because how were colleagues supposed to sit and idly chat about the hell where one of their own had been tortured?

"He said—" Morgan choked uncharacteristically over the words, "he left her something. _A gift._"

Rossi quirked his eyebrow suspiciously. "A gift? For JJ? He's a narcissistic sociopath." Rossi frowned, "If anything, it'd be a final attempt to exert power over both her and us."

"I know." Derek sighed, rubbing the back of his head in disgust. "Which means it's even more important for us to find whatever he had for her."

"Guys?" Reid called from the front room. "I found something I think you'll want to see."

CSU techs were busy taking photographs of something on the table. Derek felt himself torn in separate directions as Hotch watched what appeared to be videos on Dr. Santos's large television screen. Rossi stepped toward Hotch, seemingly making Derek's decision for him as he felt himself pulled toward the item on the table.

"A scrap book?" Derek mused in surprise. He nodded to Reid who picked it up and breezed through it quickly before handing it over to Derek's gloved hands.

Derek quirked an eyebrow as if Reid could explain in a glance the horrors that the book contained.

Spencer gulped, uncharacteristically silent as he shook his head and turned toward the video screen.

"How was it?" Hotch ground out, his voice low and angry as he spoke out of the side of his mouth, his eyes never leaving the screen.

"Bad." Reid admitted, unwilling to explain everything that the book contained, but also aware that Hotch deserved to know. "A ledger. I think it's of people Manuel 'leased' JJ to." He cringed. "It also has clippings from the reports on her abduction. It looks like he either planned to or did show it to her to prove how far off we were from finding her." Spencer surmised. "What is this?"

"JJ." Hotch's voice cracked as they watched the figure on screen quiver with fear doing nothing to fight the burning of his eyes from the emotion that swelled inside of him. He couldn't tear his eyes away, and the more he saw, the more he wanted to tear this monster apart limb from limb.

_JJ hugged herself tightly, hating the fact that she could feel her own body shivering beneath her fingers. Her team, they were coming for her, they would find her. That's all she had to keep reminding herself._

_And the blotchy monsters that seemed to appear from nowhere weren't real._

_At least, she hoped they weren't real._

_"This has been a great year Manuel." An older man descended the stairs that led to her basement prison with the well-dressed man beside him. "I see you've taken on a problem." The man laughed at the sight of JJ huddled tightly in the corner. "It is only going to cause problems for you."_

_Manuel nodded, "I don't normally accept 'problems' in exchange for payment, but I made an exception for this one."_

_"Have you tried it out yet?" The older man asked, eyeing JJ lecherously with lust that he made no effort to hide._

_"I don't do that, it would—" Manuel searched for the right word, "Stain my impeccable reputation. I intend to lease it out for profit."_

_"A good choice." The man agreed, "But you wouldn't mind if your former mentor tried her out? Your first 'client'?"_

_"I won't even charge you." Manuel laughed as he clapped the man on the back. "It's not broken yet."_

_"No matter." The man growled, apparently unaware he was being filmed._

_JJ watched the men with confusion, lifting up her hand just to check if the figures in front of her would dissipate through her fingers like most of the other monsters haunting her recent nightmares. She was glad they were at least speaking English, though she still wasn't sure what they were talking about._

_As the older man stepped toward her, she suddenly knew with a sickening reality of what was about to happen._

_But there was nothing she could do to stop it._

_Other than fight._

_"You know what I want. No games." He leaned down and whispered closely. JJ recoiled from the awful foul stench that blew in her face from his breath. "I can promise you, though. This will hurt."_

At some point, Derek had joined the others as they watched JJ's torment be carried out on the screen. Seeing her struggle in the man's grasp before he slapped her and ripped her clothes from her body, Reid turned away, unable to watch any more. "Turn it off." He begged as he left the others.

JJ screamed loudly as she fought against the man, seemingly snapping the others from the trance that seemed to captivate them. Hotch paused the image on screen, suddenly overcome with the realization that dozens of agents and officers and technicians were walking in and out of the house, exposing JJ's image to the entire world.

JJ deserved privacy.

Rewinding the DVD to capture the other man's face, Hotch paused it and barked, "Somebody get me an ID on this man. _Now!" _


	40. Chapter 40

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: claudia-scags; savetonight; canny-bairn; crazyobsession101; Love-B .xo; Moi; youdude; and Zolidify. They literally spur me forward in posting, so thank you._

_Special thanks to brynnifer who's always fantastic._

* * *

He knew she was awake, but honestly wasn't surprised that she refused to acknowledge his presence. Seeing the tubes coming out of her abdomen, he grimaced at the thought of the decision he had to make.

He had chosen to let surgeons cut into her body, insert tubes that would be responsible for providing nutrition to the woman he was rapidly considering to be the daughter he never had.

But he had enough information to put Manuel away forever.

And...the man on the video tapes...the men from the phone call...all of the people Manuel had 'sent' JJ to had been recorded in detail in Manuel's records.

They were all currently being brought in for questioning, so he hadn't failed her entirely.

And Hotch would make sure they would rue the day they were even born.

But first, there was something he had to do.

He had to tell JJ she wasn't going home for a little while.

Until they got her weight under control.

But she was going to hate it.

He already did.

"We got him JJ." He settled on, finally breaking the silence. "We found Manuel. He's going away for a long—he's going away forever." He promised.

Because if there was one thing he _could_ promise it was that he would make sure Manuel—Miguel—never saw the light of day again.

JJ's jaw clenched, the only sign she heard him as she stared off against the opposite wall.

His heart dropped as he noticed JJ fingering the light bulge on her stomach where the feeding tube had been inserted. "I'm sorry JJ." He offered sincerely, "I know you hate this—but I had to do it. It's for your own good."

"I waited for you." JJ croaked, her voice thick and scruffy and so low that he barely heard her.

"What was that JJ?" Hotch prodded.

She turned, and for the first time in years, Hotch saw a fiery passion ignited behind her eyes, "I _waited _for you."

"You waited for me?" Hotch clarified, still not understanding. "Your doctor said you weren't awake until about half an hour ago."

"Every night, every day, I knew you were coming. I knew you wouldn't give up. _I waited for you."_ JJ bit out. Hotch was shocked at the woman's venomous words, suddenly realizing that she was not referring to waking up from surgery.

She was talking about her time with Manuel.

She waited for him.

"JJ—" He sighed, trailing off because any excuse he could possibly make sounded weak to himself.

How do you apologize for something like that?

"You never came." She accused softly. "And then you tell me that you had to do this _for me_?" She asked incredulously. "I don't want it. I don't deserve it. You never came because I didn't deserve it."

Hotch's jaw dropped and he felt like all the air had been sucked from the room. "JJ—"

"I _hate_ you." JJ spat, turning back toward the wall. "Leave me alone. I hate you."

"JJ—" He started, but a knock at the door followed by two strong men in medical scrubs interrupted him.

"Aaron Hotchner?" The first man asked, looking down at a chart in his hands. "We're from Paradise Valley Medical, we're here for..." He trailed off at the sight of Hotch shaking his head softly.

Knowing it was time to inform the nearly broken woman of what fate awaited her, Hotch closed his eyes, desperately wishing that this could all just be some horrific nightmare.

But it wasn't.

"JJ." Hotch said firmly, knowing that this moment would likely haunt his dreams for years to come. "JJ, you're going to go away for a while."

JJ turned in the bed and looked at him with horrified eyes. "Hotch?" The tears brimming at her eyelids grew to be too much for him, but he forced himself to make this difficult decision.

"JJ, you need help." His voice cracked as he waved the men away, trying to buy him and JJ just a little more time. She needed to understand he was doing this for _her_. "We found a place—Rossi found a place—a nice place where they can help you. It won't be for long." He promised.

"You're sending me away?" JJ asked, the tears flowing freely at the thought of being rejected, or worse discarded just like she had been under Manuel's authority. "I'm—"

"I'm not sending you away." Hotch clarified, cutting her off from saying something he knew would break his heart. "I'm sending you somewhere you can get help."

"I didn't mean it." JJ sobbed, certain that the only reason this could be happening was because she had done something wrong. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." She pled as Hotch nodded toward the two men who stepped into the room at her outburst. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Hotch smiled despite the pang that ripped at his heart as he realized JJ thought he was sending her away because she said she hated him. "I'm doing this for you."

As the two men stepped slowly toward her, JJ sobbed hysterically, pulling off the various tubes attached to her body. "No! Please! I'm sorry." She pleaded, grabbing the cuff of Hotch's shirt and ripping it toward him. "I didn't mean it."

Lifting JJ's chin to look at him seriously, Hotch stopped for a second, wishing that there was some other way.

But JJ needed this.

And he'd do anything for JJ.

Gesturing for the men to step back, he smiled at her honestly, "You don't have anything to be sorry for." He insisted, wrapping the trembling woman in his strong arms, only mildly aware of the various tubes that still poked out of her. "I could never be mad at you."

"Don't make me go."JJ hiccupped in a pathetic plea.

"JJ, this is what is best for you." Hotch shook his head, forcing him to make this hard decision. "But it won't be forever. I promise. I'll visit you every day."

"I don't want to go." JJ pled.

"I know." Hotch sighed as he hugged JJ tightly, rubbing the back of his head soothingly as he would a child, "I know."

* * *

Dr. Nielsen knocked gently on the side of the doorframe of the upscale private care facility. "JJ, I came to check and make sure you are getting settled in."

JJ stared at the wall, apparently uninterested in the kind doctor who had quickly become one of the few people she had grown to trust.

Dr. Nielsen sat at the foot of JJ's bed. "I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself, if that's okay."

JJ shrugged as if it didn't matter, though he could see her watching him out of the corner of her eye with interest.

"I met Lisa at a party in College." He smiled as he slowly pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. "We got married a few months later and I love her more than anything." He explained easily, well aware that JJ didn't feel like talking. Though it went against usual guidelines, JJ had become a dear patient, and he thought by sharing his own experience it might do some good.

"We're good people. Lisa made sure we did free work to give back to the community. We go to church every week." His voice caught. "Bad things weren't supposed to happen." He surmised, well aware that bad things both _could_ and _did_ happen to his family. "Not to us."

Every time he saw JJ, he couldn't help but think that this could have happened to his beautiful daughter.

But by some miracle, it didn't.

And now, he wasn't about to let this patient fall by the wayside.

JJ turned and looked at him curiously, as if interested that the kind doctor had another life outside of hospitals.

Smiling, Dr. Nielsen handed JJ the wedding photo that was kept in his wallet. "We were married and for three years when we tried to have kids." He frowned at the memory. "Then a miracle happened." He pulled out another photo—this one of his infant daughter shortly after birth nestled in his arms—and handed it over to JJ. "My daughter is seven now."

JJ traced the happy figures as the doctor continued his story. "It was my fault." His voice choked gruffly but he pushed past the familiar feelings, "I was working at a clinic, and I tried to help a man with a hip fracture." Dr. Nielsen bit his lip, guilt overwhelming him at having brought this horror into his family. "I couldn't do anything, but I _tried_. I found out later, he was the leader of a drug cartel. He felt that I hadn't done my job well enough…"

JJ nodded, beginning to understand.

"They kidnapped my baby girl from her bedroom." Dr. Nielsen whispered. "She was five and they kidnapped her."

"What happened to her?" JJ asked, her voice soft but scratchy from the hysterical sobbing that hadn't managed to change her fate.

"The next day she was found hiding off the side of a Georgia Highway." Dr. Nielsen smiled grimly. "JJ, my daughter could have been where you are." He explained, "maybe that's why I care so much, but JJ, if you'll let me, I will help you get better. I promise. I won't give up until—"

"How did she escape?" JJ queried, interrupting his impassioned plea.

"We're not certain." He shrugged, "the one thing we managed to understand was that her 'Angel', a woman who was there helped her run." Pure gratitude washed over him. "If I could—if that woman knew what she did for us—I could never thank her enough."

Dr. Nielsen's phone vibrated. With a quick glance to the caller, the doctor smiled. After his daughter's abduction, he never ignored phone calls from his wife.

Ever.

"That's Lisa," He stood, clearly indicating he was about to leave, "but JJ, I want you to remember. I won't give up on you. Your friends—they won't give up on you either."

Stepping out of JJ's room, he picked up the phone. "Hey Babe."

_'Oh, so it's Babe now?'_ Lisa snorted, _'Uh, you can try again next time.'_

"Alright." Dr. Nielsen chuckled, knowing how much his wife hated pet names. Some things only got funnier with time. "What's up _Babe."_

He had to bite down an inappropriate chortle of laughter as he could literally feel Lisa roll her eyes at his antics. _'Zoey saw someone on the news, she said it was her angel." _Robert could hear the skepticism in Lisa's voice, but his jaw dropped involuntarily all the same. _'I told her I'd try to set up a meeting, but—'_

"Lisa. This is it. This is our chance. We could meet..." His voice cracked, "the woman..."

Lisa's entire tone softened at the emotion in his voice, _'But Rob, I'm just not sure—'_

"Set it up." He pled. "Lisa, _please. _Worst case? We're wrong and somebody gets to meet _'The Miracle Child'."_ He grinned at the name the media had given their daughter.

_'She is pretty miraculous, isn't she?' _Lisa smiled, then asked hesitatingly, _'Are you sure you want me to set it up?'_

Glancing back at his patient, knowing how close Zoey could have come to a similar fate, he bit his lip. "Please, set up the meeting. Because whoever Zoey's 'Angel' is, we can never thank her enough."

As he bid his wife farewell and looked back at the hospital behind him, he wished someone could have saved Agent Jareau too.


	41. Chapter 41

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: Love-B. xo; zzz-zzz84; Zolidify; 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; canny-bairn; ditzie-blonde; crazyobsession101; power214063; and IllStandByYou87. They literally spur me forward in posting, so thank you._

_Special thanks to brynnifer who is pretty much the reason I finished this story. I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter, but there are only two chapters after this, so I wanted to get it out there. I've been over this nearly a million times, so I'd love to hear what you think. JJ will be meeting Zoey in the next chapter._

* * *

Emily stepped into the Interrogation Room, smirking softly as she looked at the man across the table from her.

She was grateful for the chance to interrogate this monster, this horrible awful person even if Dave had to watch from the other side of the glass to make sure she didn't go out of control.

Now she got to interrogate who had 'sold' JJ to Manuel and get him to confess.

His partner had died of some drug over-dose years before, but now, she got to question him- -even she would admit it was more like tricking him into a confession. The profile said the fact she was a woman would infuriate him further, and that odds were he wouldn't even remember her.

Good.

For months, she had pushed her work aside as she cared for her friend, but she had failed. Interrogations, profiling, this is what she was good at.

It felt good to finally be in control again.

"Mr. Austin, I'm Agent Emily Prentiss with the FBI." She said, intentionally vague about her title to ensure that this bastard thought she was a low person in the Bureau.

Hotch was in the next room, and Morgan in the room next to his.

But this scum of the earth, this _thing_ that didn't deserve to be called a person.

He was _hers._

"Thank you for coming in, I just have a couple of questions for you." She smiled, feeling a rush of perverse excitement.

Breaking this man, listening to him weave his lies while unknowingly digging himself deeper and deeper...

This was going to be fun.

* * *

"Agent Hotchner would have liked to meet with you," Derek explained to the man identified in Manuel's accounting books as the man from the phone call- -the man who had forced the team to listen to JJ being terrorized and being unable to stop it, "But he was called away in a meeting with someone else. You've been reminded of your rights?"

He had waited a long time for this chance.

Watching JJ wither away in front of his own eyes, that had been excruciating because there was nothing he could do to stop it.

And Derek Morgan was the type of man that ran into a house with a sledge hammer for the simple reason of having nothing better to do.

"Yeah, but look," Jason Clark, a balding thirty year old man with a gruff voice and tattoos up his arm, scoffed with amusement, "Those drug charges won't stick. It wasn't mine, you've got nothing."

"Maybe, maybe not." Derek shrugged gruffly as he slid a picture of JJ toward the man. "Do you remember this woman?"

"Um, no. But she's hot. Who is she?" Jason chuckled as he looked at the photo.

"She was a federal agent abducted by a very bad man." Derek said seriously, fighting the way his lips urged to turn upward as the man across from him hung on every word for the chance to exchange favors with the FBI. "We're looking for information on a man named Manuel."

Little did this man realize that by even admitting to knowing Manuel, he would be confessing to being complicit to international drug trafficking, weapons violations, and many many other crimes.

Sometimes it felt really good to work for the FBI.

"I know Manuel." The man sighed, "but this chick I'm not sure–" He grimaced, "What will you give me for information?" He asked.

Morgan rubbed his chin as if thoughtfully considering. "First, why don't you tell me if you can identify any of the voices in this tape." He flipped the long-ago recorded conversation on. "Tell me if you can identify any of the voices in this, and we'll see what we can do."

_'Who is this?' _

_'This is Aaron Hotchner from the FBI.'_

Jason Clark's face froze as the memory of the situation pricked at his mind. This was not good. No, this was not good.

_'I heard she's been missing an entire year, Agent Hotchner, your threats aren't very promising.'_

"I don't know who that- -"

"Forensics has matched the phone conversation with your voice." Derek informed. "Which means you not only were complicit in trafficking a kidnapped woman across international lines, you knew you were assaulting an FBI Agent."

"But, you can get me out of this, right? I can tell you about Manuel. I know where the guy lives. I can help!"

"Let me give you some advice," Morgan sneered, loving every second of this, "Next time–and you won't have to worry about it because there won't be a next time–next time someone says it's better to tell the truth about what happened, shut the hell up and call your attorney." He winked as he stood.

"Wait!" The man cried. "You tricked me."

"I did." He smiled and turned toward the door, "But don't worry, I'll be sure to tell all of the inmates at the federal pennitentiary how much you wanted to cooperate with every facet of the investigation."

Behind Derek's back, Jason Clark blanched. "You can't do that. They'll kill me. I'll be a dead man. You've got to give me some protection. _Please._"

Morgan paused, his hand on the door as he grinned with satisfaction. "Go to hell."

* * *

"You aren't going to trick me with any of those rouses." Judge Anthony Shepherd scoffed at the files laid out in front of him. Hotch had yet to say a word as the judge sneered with derision as if already trying to discern how much the federal agent knew and how much he still was unaware of. "I'm not going to confess to anything."

Regardless, he wasn't a fourteen year old kid that could be tricked into saying something he shouldn't.

He was a District Court Judge.

After a moment, Hotch looked up from the file he had been studying. "I'm not trying to get you to confess, I don't need you to."

"If that were true, I wouldn't be here." The Judge scoffed.

"I'm sure you've seen the investigation on Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer Jareau," Hotch said softly, his voice low and angry as he tried to control his temper. "We arrested Dr. Miguel Santos and- -"

"I don't know him. There's no way you can tie me to- -"

"Did you know he kept records, you arrogant bastard?" Hotch exploded. "Did you know he video taped you? _You_ are going to prison for a long time."

"You're bluffing." The Judge rolled his eyes, the smug look on his face taunting Hotch's soul.

But he didn't need to deal with that anymore.

Because JJ's captor had kept records, and the only reason Hotch had brought this man into the interrogation room was to watch him squirm when he realized he would never spend another day as a free man.

That, and to find some excuse to annhilate this man's very existence.

"Why don't I turn on this video tape and we'll just see if I'm bluffing?" Hotch ground out, barely managing to hold onto his anger.

The man's smug smirk died on his face as Manuel's basement came into view. _'This has been a great year Manuel- -' _The man's jaw dropped in horror as he stared back at his reflection on the television set.

"This- - I didn't know I was being recorded, this won't be admitted." He stammerd, his eyes wide as he watched the scene playing out in front of him.

This was beyond bad, but Judge Shepherd couldn't tear his eyes off the scene playing out in front of him, his stomach dropping with the dreadful realization that he would need more than just a good attorney to get out of this.

He would need a damn miracle.

And he wasn't exactly the sort of person that deserved miracles.

Hotch paused the tape, the Judge's face glaring back at both men with a sadistic grin that made the Judge himself uncomfortable. "Listen, I have connections. I can help you- -"

"Judge Shepherd, you have the right to remain silent." Hotch started as he pulled the cuffs out of his pocket and slid them across the table. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law–"

"You can't do this to me!" The judge threw his chair back as he pushed forward toward the closed door. Hotch was up in an instant, throwing the judge against the wall as he immobilized the man's limbs.

"Please." Hotch intoned, his voice low as he whispered in the other man's ear. "Please, resist arrest, because then I can throw you through that window like the piece of trash you are, so _please._" He insisted, pushing the man more forcefully against the wall, "Resist arrest."

Unfortunately for Hotch, the man quit fighting, limply accepting his fate as he clamped his mouth shut. Agents burst into the room, ready to escort Judge Shepherd to a holding facility while Director Strauss stepped in quietly after them.

"Nice job, Agent Hotchner." Director Strauss commended after a moment, "Though no one would have faulted you if you had used a little more force." She said slowly, clearly conveying her message.

If she had been solely in charge with no one to answer to, Hotch wondered if Judge Shephard would have made it to the Interrogation Room unscathed.

"I know." Hotch agreed, still staring at the open door where the Judge had just departed. "But he's not worth it."


	42. Chapter 42

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; Zolidify; SignedSealedWritten; and Love-B .xo. They literally spur me forward in posting, so thank you._

_Special thanks to brynnifer who is pretty much the reason I finished this story. I hope this chapter is everything you dreamed it would be._

_I hope this lived up to everyone's expectations._

* * *

"Zoey, why don't you leave Bubbly Bear here at home?" Lisa smiled at her daughter as she grabbed her purse, running through the list in her mind to check and make sure they weren't forgetting something.

"Mommy I _need_ him." Zoey rolled her eyes exasperatedly, in a near perfect mimicry of her father.

Lisa looked down at her daughter, chuckling. "I'm so sorry Sweetheart." She ruffled her daughter's hair jovially.

"Can we go yet?" Zoey asked impatiently.

"The nice lady on the phone said she'd have some people pick us up. We're going to meet Daddy there."

"And my Angel?" Zoey asked expectantly.

Lisa hesitated, hoping that this elaborate plan wouldn't simply turn out to be the over-excited imagination of a seven year old. "Honey are you _sure_ you know the lady from the TV?"

Zoey leveled a glare at her mother and Lisa nearly snorted, easily recognizing that glare from looking in the mirror.

"Sorry I asked." She held up her hands defensively.

"But how will he know how to get there?" Zoey asked after a moment, confused.

"Because we're going to the hospital where you talk to Dr. Elliot." Lisa explained patiently, wondering if she should have warned Rob that they were going to be meeting _Agent Jareau_.

No, why would it matter?

Besides, it would be a nice surprise to meet someone so famous.

Zoey rubbed the corner of Bubbly Bear's ear as she contemplated what that meant. "Do I hafta talk to Dr. Elliot?"

"Not today Pumpkin." Lisa smiled.

"Can I say Hi to her?" Zoey asked innocently. "Because she said when I come talk to her I get a candy bar. Can I get a candy bar?"

Lisa snorted at her daughter's one track mind. "If Dr. Elliot doesn't give you a candy bar, I'm sure your daddy will."

Zoey pulled a face. "He'll make me eat an apple too." She frowned in disgust at the thought. "Or a carrot."

Lisa chuckled at her daughter's accurate deduction. As much as her daughter had Rob (and Lisa, to some extent) wrapped around her finger, Rob was a stickler for the daily servings of vegetables.

Seconds later, a knock sounded at the door. Lisa answered the door, instinctively placing herself in between her precious daughter and the horrors that existed in the outside world. A lanky pasty man and a physically imposing black man stood on the other side, "Mrs. Nielsen, I'm Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan and this is SSA Dr. Spencer Reid." The black man held forward his credentials as if he knew that Lisa was incredibly wary of strangers near her daughter.

Lisa checked the credentials, matching them against their picture and the names of the agents she had received from some lady at the FBI.

It was crazy to think her daughter could have contact with _Agent Jareau._

She quickly gestured to Zoey while she enabled the alarm system and checked her phone to make sure all the live feeds for the security cameras were streaming correctly.

She knew that she and Rob had gone a little overboard.

But she couldn't help it.

This was her _daughter_.

* * *

"Daddy!" Zoey cried as she jumped out of the still moving, but nearly stopped, SUV at the sight of her waiting father.

"Zoey!" Both her parents cried, Lisa nearly tripping out of the car behind her and Robert rushing toward her to scoop her up and scold her quickly. "You never do that." He nearly shouted at her, forcing himself to remain calm.

"Zoey Lynn Nielsen." Lisa ground out angrily, "If you _ever_ do that again, I'm going to make sure Dr. Eliot only gives you apples, carrots, and _peas_ when you come and visit here. Do I make myself clear?"

Zoey's eyes widened with terror at the thought, "I'm sorry mommy." She promised, cuddling her bear closer to her as if horrified at the very suggestion that she might be forced to eat fruit and vegetables instead of candy. "Mommy, I'm sorry." She bit her lip, tears starting to well in her eyes.

Robert shot Lisa a look, and the tired, overworked mother sighed, relenting. "It's okay baby." She closed her eyes as she tried to regain control. "I just—I love you so much. I worry about you."

"Can we see Dr. Eliot and say Hi first?" Zoey asked innocently, not noticing the two FBI Agents who came to stand beside the small family.

"Yes." Dr. Nielsen smiled at his daughter. "Let's go see Dr. Eliot."

* * *

JJ fidgeted, nervously pulling at her eyebrow as Will and Henry walked into the large sitting room. She tried not to feel anxious, tried to remind herself that despite the growing number of people, all of them were her friends.

People she knew.

That cared about her.

"What—" Her fingers trembled and she nervously clasped her hands, not wanting any of her friends to see her like this, "What are you all doing here?" She shifted in the comfortable chair, "Why are they here?" She asked quickly disentangling her clasped hands as she began biting her fingernail in an attempt to calm herself.

"I think you'll like this." Garcia smiled excitedly, forcing away the pessimistic thought that reminded her that _most_ things she ever tried to do with JJ ended in massive, utter failure.

This would be better.

This would be like the ipod, the songs, the bracelet.

All of the good things that hadn't failed.

This wouldn't be like the salad, the food, the time she accidentally gave JJ a stuffed animal—a fluffy puppy.

This would be good.

"A woman called me yesterday, she said her family needed to meet you." Penelope reminded, hating the fact that JJ could look so…broken…while still trying to be strong.

Emily, who was sitting in the chair next to JJ, rubbed the other woman's leg carefully. "It's going to be okay, JJ."

Hotch, seeing JJ's increasing distress gestured to Emily to follow him. They were going to find a doctor to help JJ.

He couldn't bear to see her in pain.

And though Garcia hadn't told him who this 'meeting' was supposed to be with, he didn't care if they had to scrap the whole thing.

Because he had vowed he would never let JJ suffer in pain again.

And he wasn't about to give up now.

* * *

"Dr. Eliot!" Zoey cried happily as they stopped by the familiar doctor's office. The FBI Agents who had been by their sides quietly excused themselves to join their former colleague down the hall.

"Hi Zoey." Dr. Eliot, a warm woman in her mid-forties smiled brightly, "How are you today?"

"I came to get a candy bar." Zoey informed her seriously. "Can I have a candy bar?"

"Well Zoey, we don't have an appointment for today." Dr. Miranda Eliot smirked at Zoey's parents over the top of the seven-year-old's head. The entire upper management of the facility was aware of Zoey Nielsen meeting Jennifer Jareau, but considering the way that Zoey's father—a doctor she had worked with many times and respected greatly—was nervously biting his lip, she quickly surmised that he still didn't know Zoey's Angel's identity.

This was going to make one Hallmark moment.

Zoey's face fell. "You're not going to make me eat peas are you?" She asked, obviously distressed as she looked back at her mother. "Mommy, tell her she doesn't have to give me peas!"

Lisa chuckled. "I don't know—"

"Please!" Zoey begged. "I'll be good! I promise."

Seeing her parents nod with amusement, Dr. Eliot pulled out a fun-sized candy bar out of her white coat pocket. "Here you go. Don't eat it all too quickly." Miranda winked at the child who had stopped paying attention to her therapist and was now fixated on the chocolate-y goodness.

Oh, to be a child again.

* * *

She breathed slowly, trying to force away the frightening thoughts she knew came only from things that weren't really there.

Everything was fine.

Emily was on one side of her, Penelope was on the other.

Hotch just left to get her new doctor.

Morgan, Reid, Rossi, Will and Henry were all standing outside the room, trying to give her space.

It was all going to be okay.

JJ forced herself not to flinch, not to completely shut down, as a woman ran into the room, "JJ, how are you doing, are you feeling okay?" JJ's new therapist, a blonde in her mid thirties, asked rushing toward her new patient with concern.

JJ bit her fingernail nervously, wondering—not for the first time—why this couldn't all be over, why she still had to feel this way. "Scared." JJ gulped, "I'm scared. And I—I can't—I don't—"

"JJ, it's okay for you to feel scared." Dr. Gale smiled at her patient who was remarkably calm despite the stress of the situation surrounding her. "You've been through a lot of stress lately, it's okay for you to feel nervous."

"They—" JJ looked around the room. "They're all here. Why are they here? They should—there are too many people." She muttered nervously.

"JJ, if you can calm down there is someone here who would like to meet you." Dr. Ruth Gale reminded JJ softly. "Can you calm down?"

"They're all looking at me. They're all—they are here." JJ shuddered against the hand Penelope had placed around her shoulder. Sensing that this was all getting to be a little too much for her friend, Garcia pulled back to give JJ a little more space.

"What do you think would help you not feel scared?" Dr. Gale asked calmly, proud that her patient had already made such strides in managing her own anxiety.

JJ shook her head, "Don't know. They're all…everyone is looking at me. Everyone is looking..."

"Would you feel better sitting out in the TV room for a while? You can take a minute there." Dr. Gale suggested easily. "You don't have to come back until you are ready."

JJ practically bolted from her seat, darting out of the room to the small alcove hidden around the corner of the large fish tank that took up nearly an entire wall.

"Is she going to be okay?" Garcia asked in a pained whisper.

"She just needs a minute." Dr. Gale replied, thoughtfully rubbing her chin. "Agent Prentiss, can I speak with you and Agent Hotchner outside for a moment?"

"Absolutely." Emily agreed and without a word the two agents stepped just outside the back door, oblivious to the small family accompanied by Dr. Eliot who entered the room from another direction.

* * *

Fidgeting with curiosity at the boring adults, Zoey noticed the giant fish in the enormous fish tank that lined the big room of the hospital.

She loved fish.

Stepping away slowly, she watched the fish swim with awestruck wonder at the sight as one big blue fish with a yellow tail—Steve—wiggled his way behind a large rock.

Mystified, and wanting to get a better look at Steve, Zoey stepped around the fish tank not bothering to care that she had once again slipped out of her parents' sight. She watched for nearly a minute as the large fish swam in circles until she heard

"I can do this. It's okay." A woman murmured softly with her head buried in her hands.

She just looked so _sad._

Easily forgetting Steve the fish, Zoey watched the woman curiously for a minute, pulling her teddy bear just a little closer.

She just look sad, she looked _scared._

Without a second thought, Zoey walked over to the woman and snuggled up onto the chair next to her, content to just sit in silence for a minute.

"I was scared to be here once too." Zoey admitted, "But I liked the fish and my Mommy and Daddy kept bringing me back." She explained.

Zoey cocked her head as she watched the woman who kept her head buried in her hands.

Frowning, she watched the woman a little longer before she glanced down at the bear in her hands. Thrusting the bear toward the woman, her eyes grew wide as the woman looked up and took the bear into her own hands.

"Hi." Zoey waved, her eyes widening as she recognized the woman in the chair next to her.

JJ blinked, as if uncertain if the image before her was really there.

A young, healthy, bright seven year old with brown curly hair.

Zoey smiled and sat back in her chair as JJ stared at her in surprise.

"Zoey?" JJ asked uncertainly.

"I didn't go to the red truck." Zoey said, reaching her hand into her teddy bear and pulling out a worn, stained piece of paper. "And I made it home to mommy."

JJ opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. Accepting the piece of paper, she gasped, pulling her hand up to cover her mouth in shock.

It was her note.

_Her note._

"I kept it safe." Zoey informed sincerely, and at the seven year old's words, tears rolled down JJ's face.

Because that note, _her note,_ had been calculated to help her be found.

And it was sitting inside a teddy bear of a seven year old.

Seeing the child looking at her expectantly, waiting for some sort of validation, JJ smiled despite the tears coursing down her face. "Thank you." She smiled.

Zoey was alive.

Which meant, Manuel had lied to her.

And Zoey was alive.

"Zoey Lynn Nielsen!" Robert yelled as he rounded the corner, petrified that his daughter could slip away so easily. "I have told you—" He stood rooted to the spot, utterly shocked at the sight in front of him.

His patient. His daughter. Sitting together like old friends.

"JJ?" Dr. Nielsen stopped and for a moment, he wondered if his own heart stopped. "Zoey."

"Hi Daddy." Zoey smiled, snuggling closer to JJ who had tears rushing down her face as she put her shaking arm around the child.

No.

Not JJ.

Because this meant….

_No._

He felt tears burn at his eyes. Zoey's Angel and his scared, abused, tortured patient—they weren't just two victims put in similar situations.

They were the _same._

And his patient, his patient that he had spent hours trying to help just to go home and thank God that his daughter hadn't suffered a similar fate.

His patient, had _saved_ his daughter from the very hell she could have escaped.

His patient was the woman who he would never be able to thank enough.

_No._


	43. Epilogue

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: hxchick; Auraya-of-White; IllStandByYou87; 1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG; youdude; Zolidify; and ditzie-blonde. The outpouring of support for this story has been phenomenal and I appreciate everyone who has reviewed, alerted, and favorited this story. I wrote this story as an attempt to show that some of the strongest people can be victimized in ways that most of us will hopefully never have to encounter. While I believe that in order to experience great joy a person must tredge through unbelievable sorrow, I am also aware that for some victims the trauma is never over. _

_Special thanks to brynnifer who is pretty much the reason I finished this story._

_This here is the last chapter of the story. I hope this story is as satisfying for you to read as it was for me to write, and if not, I do appreciate your feedback. This has been a long journey, and I wanted to get the last chapter up before school starts._

_By way of explanation of the last chapter, Dr. Nielsen's reaction was torn between being horrified and grateful because with JJ being 'Zoey's Angel', now he knows exactly what his daughter could have gone through. There's a difference, I think, between being woken up with nightmares of what could have happened in a general sense versus knowing exactly what could have happened. By making that connection, he knows that his daughter was captured by monsters with no respect for human life and he is confronted with the harsh reality that his five year old daughter could have been raped, could have been beaten, and many more awful and terrible things could have happened. While not explicit in the story, he probably was able to glean at least some facts from his daughter that he realized that the 'Angel' had sacrificed herself for his daughter. It is one thing to think of someone you don't know, a victim you can distance yourself, but this connection of JJ as the Angel makes it more personal._

* * *

JJ fidgeted nervously in the witness stand, she bit her lip—the only sign of the anxiety that welled within her—as Dr. Santos rose from behind the Defendant's table. She looked back to the gallery, forcing herself to focus on the faces of Hotch, Emily, Will, Reid, Dr. Nielsen, Lisa…all of the people that were here to help her.

Two years of therapy and the very sight of Manuel made her insides flip.

The prosecutor had asked her to just say what happened, and after that Manuel got his turn.

This wasn't about Manuel trying to exercise his rights. This was Manuel's attempt to scare her. To intimidate her one last time.

And damn him, it was working.

"Good Morning. Ms. Jareau." Manuel greeted with false kindness, ready and excited for the opportunity to face Alejandra one last time. "Tell me, do you still have nightmares?"

JJ took a deep, halting breath as she leaned forward to speak into the microphone. "Yes." She cringed.

"Tell me, are you still afraid of the dark?" He asked, his voice soft and caring, though JJ could easily see the calculated coldness directed at her.

She cleared her throat, fighting the nervousness and the fear that welled inside of her. "I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of the evil that hides in the dark."

"Did you ever tell your friends what happened to you?" Manuel asked, as if suddenly struck with the thought.

JJ licked her bottom lip and took in a deep breath. "Yes, I told them. They know."

"Everything?" He asked, knowingly.

The prosecutor, who until this point had been silent, stood immediately. "Objection, Your Honor this has gone on long enough, he's badgering the witness. This has to stop."

"Your Honor, this goes to the severity of the charges alleged, I'm just trying to ascertain the effects of Ms. Jareau's abuse and the jury needs to know—"

"Save your impassioned plea Dr. Santos." The judge said dismissively, well aware of the psychiatrist's tactic, but not wanting to allow any opportunity for an appeal. "I'll allow it, but you have a short leash."

"Everything? You told your friends everything?" He asked again, thrilled at the opportunity to dredge up the worst memories for the woman in front of him.

JJ bit her lip. "Emily. And Will. They—" She took a deep breath to calm herself, "I told them everything."

"So they know why you are afraid of fire?" He asked, smirking at the game of psychological chess.

There was a reason he had fought to represent himself and declined any plea agreement offers.

He had been waiting for this.

He felt a surge as he could nearly see the memory flashing in Alejandra's eyes.

_The lights flickered, plunging Emily's bright condo into darkness. They had been warned of rolling blackouts due to the weather, but that didn't mean that she worried about it any less._

_JJ had only been out of the private hospital for six months._

_She was still fragile._

_As soon as the small night light flickered off, JJ woke with a gasp, unable to even comprehend sleeping in the dark. Stumbling out of her room, she inched herself along the hallway, walking closer and closer to the warm low light emanating from Emily's living room._

"_JJ, what happened?" Emily asked, concerned as JJ descended the stairs. JJ forced herself to maintain steady breathing, consciously forcing air in and out of her lungs at a regular pace._

"_Dark. I don't—I don't like the dark." JJ explained. At the sight of the growing fire in the corner, JJ stopped, her eyes wide and her legs unable to even inch herself a step closer._

_Emily glanced questioningly between JJ and the fire, understanding growing as yet another piece seemed to fall into place. "It's okay JJ, the power is out, we just needed a fire."_

"_I don't like fire." JJ admitted, still rooted to the spot on the last stair._

"_I'm sorry." Emily frowned and had JJ cared, she would have noticed the tears pooling behind Emily's eyes._

"_I—I didn't mean to—it hurt so bad, I just couldn't—" The blonde rambled as if that were somehow related to fire._

_Unfortunately, they were._

"_JJ, what are you talking about?"_

"_Manuel, he was so angry because I didn't clean up, after—" JJ trailed off as a wave of fear passed over her face as she tried to explain, "I should have cleaned up after they slept with me, but it hurt so bad, I was bleeding—"_

_Emily closed her eyes walked over to JJ, pulling the younger woman gently to sit on the last step. She held JJ just a little tighter, hoping that by some miracle if she could just soothe JJ this once, maybe none of this would have ever happened. "I'm sure you did the best you could." She assured the trembling woman._

"_When I got back to Manuel—I knew I was in so much trouble. He was so mad. I should have cleaned up after myself." JJ shook her head self-deprecatingly as she clung tighter to Emily and buried her head into Emily's shoulder. "I should have done it. It should have been clean."_

"_Oh, JJ—" Emily gasped._

"_I knew better." JJ held her head in her hands, "it was all my fault."_

"_JJ, what was your fault?" Emily asked, biting her lip to prevent herself from reassuring the woman. JJ burrowed closer into Emily, fighting for comfort and protection that only the older woman seemed able to give. _

"_He made me burn it." JJ rambled_. _"My blanket, he made me burn my blanket. It was all my fault."_

"Yes." JJ admitted, clearing her throat and forcing her mind to stop from remembering any more of her painful past. This was his intention, they warned her about this. All he wanted to do was to make her remember, to land his final blows. "They know everything I can remember."

But she needed this too. Because she needed to face him.

She needed closure.

"And you were on a feeding tube for nearly a year, is that correct?" Manuel asked, changing tactics. Now, it was time to show Alejandra how weak she was.

How she could never recover.

"Yes." JJ admitted.

"And that was because you intentionally expelled any food that was given to you, correct?" Manuel asked.

JJ hesitated, unsure of how to respond. "Yes, I had a feeding tube for almost a year." She added, allowing herself to get lost in the brief memory.

"_98 pounds!" JJ's physical therapist's assistant Donna practically squealed in excitement. "That's almost half a pound since your last weigh in!" The woman smiled proudly._

"_Half a pound?" Emily gasped, "JJ, that's amazing!" She had been reminded vigorously to make sure that each positive weigh-in was met with a celebration of the success that was a stark contrast to the weigh-ins where JJ lost weight and not another word was spoken._

_JJ blushed at the attention, but flashed a brief grin at the praise before biting her lip cautiously. "It's not that—"_

"_It's huge." Donna praised. "One pound is amazing."_

_JJ bit her lip, "Only ten more to go."_

"Ms. Jareau," Manuel smiled, "You testified that you don't think of me anymore, that you're _better,_ but we both know differently." He looked at her pointedly. "I'll always be a part of you."

"No." JJ's voice faltered. "No. You are weak, and pathetic—"

"Thank you Ms. Jareau, I think that is all—" Manuel tried to cut her off, but JJ would have nothing of it.

"I don't think of you. You don't matter to me. And when you go to prison, and I _never_ see you again, I will never think of you." Her mouth turned upward into a smile. "You are nothing."

Seeing Manuel frown, she her smile grew.

"And it was not my fault."

* * *

JJ sprinted to the toilet, barely making it as the contents of her stomach emptied into the low basin.

"Chère?" Will asked, coming from the master bedroom. Stepping around behind her, he pulled her hair back as she tried to calm herself down. "Another nightmare?" He guessed.

"Why are you here?" JJ asked, wiping away the corner of her mouth as she hovered over the basin, ready for another bout of nausea.

"What do you mean?" Will asked, rubbing JJ's back carefully.

Another heave wracked her body as she expelled everything inside of her system into the porcelain basin.

She shuddered as Will helped her lean back against the bathroom wall, familiar with the routine.

"Why are you still here?" JJ asked again, rubbing her tired and worn eyes. "You could be happy. You could be with someone who isn't damaged. You could have a life."

"JJ—"

"Instead, you're with _me._" She coughed, stopping momentarily as she tried to settle her rolling stomach.

"Jayje." He sighed, hating that she felt this way. After a moment, he asked. "Do you remember when we started dating again…after?" He asked, not needing to explain further.

JJ's life had only two parts: Before, and After.

It had only been a year that they lived together again. Six months that they could sleep in the same room. Three months since they shared a bed, but they had yet to sleep together.

JJ snorted at the memory of Hotch and Emily chaperoning their first few months of dating.

While they had said it was for her own benefit, she distinctly got the impression that they were more like hawks or over protective parents chaperoning their fourteen-year-old daughter's first date.

But it felt nice.

Despite the fact that Will had been obviously terrified.

Will chuckled at the memory, "Our third date, the one where Reid watched Henry and the four of us went bowling at Jimmy's place?"

JJ smiled despite herself at the memory. Will had conned his friend into closing early, allowing the entire bowling alley to be completely empty except for the two workers that staffed the alley. Will had then proceeded to be his easy to love, goofy self as he wooed his girlfriend back.

And while it had taken a long, long time, it worked.

"I don't know what this has to do with—"

With one look from Will, she stopped, leaning against him as he turned her slightly in his arms to face her. "It has everything to do with it." He smiled, looking at her the way only a man in love can look at a woman with vomit still lining the corner of her mouth. "I love you. And however long it takes for you to love me back, however long it takes for you to feel safe, I can wait. I'm here for you."

"But you could be happy!" JJ insisted incredulously, tears making the long trek down her cheeks as she looked back on the kindest man she knew. "You could be happy with someone normal."

"I don't want someone normal." Will replied, brushing a stray hair from JJ's face so that he could look into her deep blue eyes clearly. "I want you."

JJ rolled her eyes at his maudlin behavior.

He watched her closely, cataloguing her reaction, and for the finally felt it was time to share something he hadn't told her yet.

He had told her many times how much he loved her. He had spent many nights holding her hair back as she vomited. He had stayed by for months

"Do you really want to know why I'm still here?" He asked, nodding as he decided that this was the right time. "JJ, you were missing for _three years." _He said, shaking his head as he sighed full of emotion. "And when they found you, I knew. I knew I could never be with anyone else."

"Why?" JJ asked, running a hand through her own hair.

"Because even with everything you've been through, everything you've seen, you are still kind, you are still good." He explained the veracity of his words boring holes in her feelings of self-doubt. "You are still JJ."

"But—"

"And I would rather spend the rest of my life patting your back while you throw up because of horrific nightmares than be with anyone else. JJ, you are worth it."

Tears blurred her vision as she looked at the man that would give up the entire world for her.

"I don't deserve you." She murmured as she leaned more closely against him, using his body to support her. "You are gentle, and you are happy. You deserve happiness."

"I'm happy with you." He sighed, well aware that he would need to repeat this conversation many times before it truly sunk in. "But JJ, _you_ are worth it."

She bit her lip, closing her eyes as she took in his loving unconditional acceptance.

Things were far from okay, and she would never be the woman she used to be.

This new normal was far from perfect, but her life would never be the way it was before.

And for now, that was okay.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_And now, here I am at the end of the story. I hope it was a worthwhile journey for all of you who have followed it. You'll notice that while JJ is far from being okay, she's moving forward. _

_There is NO sequel planned, so this is it. The End. I hope you liked it._

_-kdzl_


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